Jul 22
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To Boyfriend about No Shave November:
Me: You should grow a beard.
Him: I really don't want to, though.
Me: I totally would if I could, you can have a lot of fun with beards! They're like bears for your face.
Him: ...bears...?
Me: Yeah! Brown beards, black beards, grizzly beards...
Him: (chuckling) Grizzly beards!
Me: You know what you would call it if you grew a bear and dyed it black and white?
Him: ...
Me: A panda beard.
Him: Oh no.
Me: Do you know what you would call it if you grew a beard in the very far north or south?
Him: Would it be a polar beard?
Me: It would! How about if you grew a beard and it stole a lot of pic-a-nic baskets?
Him: I don't know... wait! Yogi beard?
Me: And boo-boo if you cut yourself trimming it! What about a beard made of felt or fabric with stuffing inside of it?
Him: ...
Me: And it's named after Theodore Roosevelt for some reason.
Him: Teddy beard!