#pan!au

There are fixed points in history you can never change.

Imagine little Harry Potter listening in his cupboard as the Dursleys watch Peter Pan in their living room. 

He wonders what it would be like, to be able to fly and live freely without chores. To live with the lost boys and have adventures and foiling the pirates. He wonders how it must feel to have Peter Pan whisking him away from the dursleys and heading to Neverland.

It happens while he was 9 and uncle Vernon locked him outside due to his freakishness. It was dark and the only light came from the lamp post, he saw shadows moving everywhere and he was frightened. He saw a figure on his peripheral vision and started.

He saw someone wearing weird clothing Uncle Vernon dubbed as hippies, it didn’t matter though because the green in the weird clothes reminded him of the boy who never grew up. He asked if it was Peter Pan. The figure looked up and walked closer to Harry. Potter? it asked. Harry grinned, maybe he can go to Neverland afterall! Peter Pan looked angry though, Harry began to explain that he was Harry Potter, he asked where was Tinkerbell and could he please teach him how to fly?

The figure stopped and stared at him and Harry wondered why the black eyes of the boy seemed so wide. Harry was confused as to why Peter Pan was interested in the whereabouts of his dad, and why was Harry even put in this weather.

Harry answered that his freakishness made Uncle Vernon angry and Aunt Petunia was going to let him back in in a few hours. Peter Pan seemed to pale even more at the mention of his aunt. Harry wondered if he knew them somewhere.

Harry asked when they were going to Neverland and Peter Pan shook his head. I’m not Peter Pan. it said. I’m not even alive. Harry nearly screamed when the figure stepped out from the darkness and he saw a near translucent teenager.

They had a long talk on why Severus was not a ghost and that he would never harm Harry. They talked until they saw the kitchen lights turn on and Petunia discreetly opened the door and let Harry back in. They also had a talk on why Harry must never refer to him as Peter, Severus always hated that name he said. 

By then Harry listened as his new friend explained that his freakishness was because he was a wizard. Squeezing back in the cupboard would have been difficult if Severus had an actual body but they made do even if Harry felt a little cold when he sat too close.

Severus would vanish every now and then but would return every night to tell Harry about Hogwarts and they both waited eagerly until he turned eleven. He never mentioned his dad again and his mum was almost never brought up. Harry also never asked why his robes looked a little darker during the days after the full moon and how Severus never visited him during the full moon.

Severus once caused a power outage when Petunia almost hit Harry with a frying pan.

Severus tried to play little jokes on the Dursleys but stopped when Harry was blamed and punished.

They had a fight that resulted in Severus not showing himself for a week and Harry not speaking to him for three days after he re-appeared.

Severus would not appear during father’s day and mother’s day much to Harry’s disappointment.

They had moments when Harry would read whatever magazine or book Dudley threw out and Severus would correct his pronunciation.

When he turned ten, Harry found a card with a calendar on the back. They counted down to the days until his eleventh birthday. Harry was both excited and scared. Severus did say that Hogwarts housed ghosts and poltergeists in its walls but can Harry bring Severus with him? He knew that Severus was once a student there, but Severus wasn’t exactly a ghost was he? 

This led to heated confrontation held as the Dursley’s left for a fancy dinner.

Severus assured Harry that he could never leave the boy even if he wanted(He tried at one point but was held back by a barrier, he couldn’t go within a certain distance away from Harry.) Harry secretly wanted to go to the legendary Hogwarts library and look up what Severus actually is and how to help him.

They snarked at each other and kept eachother company for two years aready, what was seven more?

There are fixed points in history you can never change, and Severus Snape was always meant to protect Harry Potter.

- Eileen received an urgent owl fortunately when Tobias was out drinking in the pub.

- The letter was vague but firm that she needed to go to Hogwarts immediately. Deputy Headmistress McGonagall would apperate to her home and they would take a port key for Hogwarts the following day.

- She felt anxious as she read the letter and quickly penned a reply and wondered just what her son was up to.

- She didn’t know what to feel as she once again stood in the Headmaster’s office, not quite different from when she was a student. 

- Dumbledore made her take an oath of silence before telling her anything. She protested quite loudly but her worry for her son eventually won out. She sometimes stay up at night and wonder that she would have been more use had she been able to scream the truth to the Prophet.

- She slapped the Headmaster after he finished telling her what happened. The portraits surprisingly remaining silent after the assault.

- Lily Evans was teary eyed, sitting on her son’s bedside holding his hand. They hadn’t spoken much because Severus rarely brought Lily to their home but the girl clung to her as she herself felt numb in seeing the state of her son.

- After the nurse ushered the young girl out, she sat near his head and wiped the sweat on his forehead. 

- Healer Pomfrey and her yelled at the Headmaster when he insisted that St. Mungos couldn’t offer Severus what Hogwarts couldn’t. 

- Eileen and Pomfrey knew deep down that he was right. That they were just making sure her boy could be as comfortable as possible.

- He woke in the middle of night and Eileen nearly wept.

- He was feverish, muttering about beasts and bullies. She assured him that he was safe and that she was so sorry.

- He seemed surprised by her presence and her heart broke once again as he asked about his father and that he might be angry when he finds that you’ve gone mum. 

- She assured him that she would be fine. That they’d leave Tobias together if he fought this and survived. She begged and bargained but she knew it was futile. Severus had a small smile as if imagining such scenarios and Eileen wondered when she last saw her son smile.

- He was slipping in and out of consciousness ad Eileen wanted nothing but to take the pain away.

- During his moments in between lucidity and fever he gripped her hand as tight as he could and looked at her with such frightened eyes. I don’t want to die mum. Eileen gripped his hand with both of hers and kissed his knuckles. I wanted to be a potions master. I wanted to help you move away from Tobias, to help you back in the wizarding world. I don’t want to die.They both had tears in their eyes. I’m sorry mum. I’m sorry. It was my fault.

- Eileen cried her heart out as her son once again slipped into unconsciousness. She kept apologizing about everything and eventually fell asleep, never hearing the soft pitter-patter of feet discreetly exiting the hospital wing.

- She felt a piece of her soul die the moment her Severus stopped breathing.

- She acquired a old book of spells from a dubious source and set about righting the wrongs in her mind.

- Severus was destined to be great. He was meant to be brilliant at whatever career he chose and he was denied his destiny. Eileen swore to do her best to rectify that error.

I’m running out of ideas and finally took at the first post I made in this blog. Re-naming this AU as The Boy Who Never Grew Up, Pan!AU seems misleading.

Continuation of this:

Part 1: https://thesnapewecandreamof.tumblr.com/post/176938116799/harry-potter-au-idea

Severus didn’t remember much when he woke up. There were fragments that left him frustrated but he never could quite decipher them properly.

His years in hogwarts felt different, like a fog has entered his mind and he couldn’t remember the events accurately.

He remembered playing and hanging out with Lily, counting down to the days they receive their letters,

He remembered being teased and humiliated by four gryffindor boys they met on the train. He smiled as he managed to recall throwing hexes himself and successfuly driving them off.

He remembers walking up to the whomping willow one night during a full moon, the howls and growls of the werewolf still echoing in his mind during the full moon.

He tries to stay away from these memories.

There was something deep down that informed him that he was dead, that he had ceased to live and breathe.

It all felt like he was reliving his memories, one horribly long muggle film, and when it was over, he found himself in front of a house with a boy hunched over himself by the steps. He didn’t felt the shock of seeing his near translucent hands in front of him.

Seeing a miniature Potter was a shock to him and memories assaulted his mind. Anger was his first response but was quickly doused by the sharp green eyes of the boy.

Being called Peter Pan wasn’t something he enjoyed and he was quick to inform the kid. Slytherin colors had nothing to do with Peter Pan!

Seeing aunt Petunia made his stomach roll and hearing the names  of Harry’s parents confirmed his doubts and he nearly fled from the house. 

Harry’s eyes kept him and he accompanied the boy in his cupboard. He felt compelled to tell Harry stories of Hogwarts as he did years before to Lily. He explained that he was not a freak and his relatives are morons and Harry must never believe a word that comes out of their stupid mouths.

He left the cupboard and explored the house Petunia lived in and was disgusted. He tried to leave the premises but only got as far as the other side of the street until he was propelled back. 

He once let slip that Potter Sr. was a no good toerag and saw as Harry’s eyes widened. He made sure to never mention Potter again. 

Lily was a sore subject as well.

Severus once set Petunia’s bathroom on fire. he did not do it again.

He sometimes turns himself invisible to Harry just so he could feel a semblance of alone time.

He once walked in on Vernon and Petunia doing things in the living room one evening and he almost inadvertently caused the light to burst. HE swore he nearly died again from disgust and horror.