#painathonofdoom

WarGod (1996) Goldninjavideo released an epic three pack of lost 70s Taiwan fantasy flicks. I recently watched two of the films and kept the cover film for today. WarGod is a freakin Kaiju film. Giants stomping a toy city to the ground.  The first half of the film is alot of talking heads and worry that aliens may attack. Then we finally see three giant Martians and after waiting way too long the title character appears Guan yu the god of War . The last 20 minutes is just one long rock em sock em fight as the Wargod makes the sound of a ghost and hacks up three building sized martians. It feels like the last 8 minutes of Big man Japan dragged out forever. Ill post a review on one of the other films Three Headed Monster because i fuuuckimg loved that epic monster fantasy film. But this is the painathon so we needed all those talking heads of tedium with no balance to battling madness. Its a totally worth getting blu ray which has a third hidden movie that's even more batshit crazy... but that's a secret.

Get your buns to Goldninjavideo.com and see what they got yo yer buns

Frankenstein's Island (1981)

How the hell was this movie made in 1981? It looks like an Al Adamson flick from 1971. Part classic Corman, part 70s sleaze and a  befuddling part monster movie. Yes Frankenstiens Monster is in this but it feels like even the movie forgot about him through most of this. Plot similar to Island of Dr Moreau or Fulcis Zombies has a mad doctor (Victor Frankenstein's Daughter) working on an exotic island during terrible experiments. Explorers show up and are not so welcome. Cameron Mitchell is in this and is maybe at his most drunk (almost always sitting down or trying too). Like many cheap movies later on this has a out of body transcendent cameo by the legend John Carradine. Many movies edited him in via stock footage but that's usually because the movie was made after his death. This movie however had no such excuse except it was cheap and probably hell to work on. Director Jerry Warren said he was living recluse for over a decade and had stopped watching films for that whole time just out of spite of the business. So who knows what the hell he was thinking. I have watched this before with RiffTrax bringing the jokes to liven it up. I feel on my game my own riffing would have been fine as this movie does set its self up for that but at hour 11 of my Painathon of Doom that was not very easy to do... but its almost over .. I'm almost over... or almost done.. or almost over done. Year 5 of the pain a thon of doom only last 12 hours to get 9 movies in.. that's a lot of shortish films. I need a rest BUT maybe I need one more.. lets see. Ill pack up but before I sleep one more bad movie might happen. I may save that review for tomorrow. Stay Awesome everyone. Thanks for sticking with me , commenting, supporting and reading my reviews and decent into madness. To more good times folks.

Buzzsaw (2005)

Dont Wake the Dead (2008)

My hero Andreas Schnass tries to do a more mainsteam horror..almost. A group of woman are spending the night prepping an old castle for a party with heavy metal bands , which is a story we have all heard before. The castle is cursed that thpse who die there return to live as demons , including nazi soilders and the blind dead. Half the cast is speaking English as a second language which is fairly distracting but hell the gore flows so hard you wont care. The zombie band plays way too many times and infact they play again in a music video at the end of the film. The hero is a ninja monk who comes off kind of annoying and relates to no one but he does use a flying guilkotine as a weapon. So come for the stupidity , stay for the gore be made comfortable by the nazi dead and be annoyed bybtye cock rock metal band. Its not Andreas Schnasses best but there is metal, boobs, beasts and plenty o blood. Cha Ching!

Disaster Squad (1998)

A bunch of high school students in 98 make a home movie on a family vhs camcorder. A fucking super hero movie about the alien Underlord that attacks 4 teens with matching 90s stereotype hair cuts. Evil cardboard monsters that will make the Killer Tomatoes eat their ketchupy hearts out. These 4 are the joke slining ninjas known as the Disaster squad. The alien Underlord creates monsters out of cardboard boxes but the Squad will mess em up with terrible cuts , hilarious sound effects and tons of bad jokes. All stolen music as whats basically just a backyard wrestlers tape with a super hero "plot" , sort of. Of course I loved this , its amazingly dumb and funny sound effects make everything better. The crew made a youtube channels many many years later and made a sequel as adults, well fucking color me curious now. However I doubtbitnwill match the carefree heart of teenagers and a vhs camera. I assume many bongs were ripped and many bottle of HI C were drank. In whats basically Beavis and Butthead making Attack of the killer tomatoes.