#p.ara

thursday, sep 14th : 5am - w. @bm-bear // private )

O Sol ainda nem havia mostrado os primeiros raios do dia e tudo já parecia muito estranho dentro do dormitório. Não era novidade alguma que Bearnard e Alicia viviam fugindo para o dormitório alheio às escondidas para que pudessem dormirem juntos, costume que tinham há anos e não mudariam nunca. O corpo pequeno repousava colado ao maior, enroscado entre os braços definidos e de costas para o mesmo. Enquanto seu externo parecia sereno, por dentro era completamente o contrário. E aquela calma duraria poucos segundos.

Submersa em um pesadelo terrível, a mestiça via sua antiga casa desmoronar e desintegrar em milhões de partículas. Tudo tremia, podia ouvir a voz de sua mãe gritando em pânico, chamando seu nome. Era uma escuridão terrível. Todavia, a única sensação que a voz materna conseguia lhe fazer sentir era nada além de pavor. Mãos sujas com um líquido viscoso negro a prendiam pelos tornozelos e a impediam de andar, apertando com tanta força a ponto de machucar. Machucar de verdade, não apenas em sonho.

Do lado de fora, na realidade, Alicia se debatia com força sobrenatural e ofegava, tendo seu corpo todo coberto por gotículas de suor frio. Sua aura azul cobalto se expandia por todo o ambiente e o cômodo todo estava dentro de um terremoto que apenas o outro era capaz de sentir, quando a morena entrou em um estado convulsivo, chorando desesperada.

"Why is it so hard?" Silence seeps through the crevices of the void; not a space left untouched. The surroundings speak of the sky: pure white and hues of blue. Words spoken shatter the glass of a deafening quiet, permeating like a choir of angels harmonizing hymns. Oddly beautiful. "Why do I try so hard to lead an honest life if people are going to break me down anyway. Is it worth it? Is it worth fighting? Should I give up?"

“They say my wavelength doesn’t match up to others–” He began, a solemn voice amidst the silence between them. Being stuck in an elevator sure did wonders for both of them. The complex boasted off its clear and quiet rooftop to its tenants but only a few could attest to the truth. Kyungsoo, being a frequent visitor there, knew the right way and the right buttons to press to get up to that floor. But maintenance repairs and a momentary power interruption led to this and that, and now two people were there, perhaps sweating a bit from the five minutes they’ve been forced to simmer and settle down with until someone responded to their emergency call downstairs.

“I mean, it’s not that I think highly of myself. I never do.” He clears it up, wanting to open up with the kind stranger who stepped up and bravely started the conversation with him. Though they initially panicked, they finally felt calm since the lights didn’t go off like the ones in the thriller/suspense genre of movies which ends in death pretty much 100% of the time. “I just think it’s rare to have people understand me sometimes. It’s like I’m stuck in my own bubble, like a hamster who doesn’t know what to do. Maybe I have a dysfunctional way of interacting with people? Or I just don’t jive in with them.”

He slumps against the side, sitting with his legs stretched out while looking at the woman from the opposite side of the elevator car. She didn’t look that young, nor did she look any older. There was no harm in sharing bits and pieces of him to someone who barely knew him. Maybe with that, he could patch up a truth about himself that he was struggling to realize. “I’m not going on the rooftop to jump, by the way– I heard they had nice hydrangeas on display and I needed some fresh air so I thought I’d pay a visit.”

— ✿  “Just because others cannot grasp your way of interaction, doesn’t mean you’re dysfunctional.” The silence descends once more. It is clear from his expression that the man before her genuinely thought lowly himself. It hadn’t been long since the elevator came into a sudden halt. Her once dismayed heart had now been embraced with relief as another being’s presence offered a sense of tranquil. His words generously coated with defeat, so strong she was able to feel it as it it were her own. His mind plagued with fears, and despite Stephanie’s growing concern, she didn’t quite understand why he thought being different was such an awful thing. For the short amount of time she’s lived in Seoul, many times the lines, “You’re weird,” and “that’s not normal” had been directed to her. But she didn’t feel discouraged. She never felt discouraged.

“Who are they to make you feel that way, right? Maybe you haven’t found the right people to connect with yet. I mean, I don’t think being different is a bad thing at all,” she said matter-of-factly. A stranger indeed, and yet she had already wanted to reach out to him. It may not be as serious as she had approached it, but there’s also a chance where it could also be worse. She studied his face, his features expressionless. His eyes were soft and kind, but a tint of coldness had painted over them.

watermelons-- oh how aster have been craving for them since forever. she had been looking for them for god known how long (maybe around a month or so) and she found none. and this day-- this particular day, she got lucky upon seeing the sight of the majestic fruit in the supermarket. a sigh of relief escapes her lips, and she couldn’t help but to grin widely-- even exaggeratedly since she felt really happy just seeing it there from afar, more so when she was walking towards it. finally, after a month of suffering from her cravings-- she could finally satisfy herself. she must’ve looked very childish right now but hell-- fuck what other people think. 

“you’re mine now.” she says to no one in particular as her palm finally came in touch with the smooth outer layer of the fruit, and she finally took it to her cart, smiling to herself as she walked further, pushing her cart along to continue her mini shopping.

it’s been a week after her friend’s death. it was a very traumatic experience for aster, seeing a close friend die in front of your eyes-- a hit and run. though everything happened so fast, aster was alert, and she familiarize herself with the culprit. and even if the incident happened in a slip second, she managed to get a quick glimpse of the culprit’s face. he had a dark brown hair, probably the same age as her. he was a tall man, and he had a scar on his cheek and eyebrow. that was the only thing he remember.

after the incident, she did some research non-stop, wanting to give justice to her friend. she managed to track him down-- and this particular day, she find out that he was in a bar located in downtown seoul. given the opportunity, she decided to tail him. the reason why he killed her friend was still unknown-- and the case wasn’t resolved at all. and this wasn’t a part of her duty, she decided to work on this case personally. her visit to the said club was not known by the head quarters. she did not told them about his whereabouts, wanting to deal with him on her own.

she went inside the fully-packed club. streaks of colored lights almost blinding her. she squinted, palms trying to cover the blinding streaks of lights as she made her way in. and once she did, she let her eyes wander around, trying to spot a familiar figure. and after a few minutes of letting her eyes feast into the crowd-- there he was him in the middle. she did not hesitated in following him instantly.

if her tracking was correct, it’s probably the third night she was staying on the streets after she had been kicked out of the dorms for reasons which she chose to not disclose to anyone. so far, she was doing okay, at least. sleeping in benches or somewhere-- staying in her friend’s apartments. she was doing fine, really. byul was thankful for her friends, really. for letting her stay on their homes, be it once or several times. she was always thankful for them.

but today was different. the sky was dark, and she was very worried that it might rain-- which it eventually did minutes after she had noticed the change of the sky. luckily for her she managed to stop by in a tree near the bench she was sitting around the park. but sadly, it wasn’t enough. the rain was getting heavier as time passes.

“great. just great. nice timing rain.” she muttered under her breathe. 

it was probably already past midnight, byul assumed. she was too drunk to notice the time on her watch, and her vision was somewhat failing her. it was blurry, and it felt as if everything was spinning. she was totally lost and confused about everything... she was obviously drunk as fuck.

she stared absentmindedly at her cocktail for god knows how long before she drank the remaining drops, wiping her mouth after. she probably would pass out if she drink more, and so she decided that it was the last one. even at her drunk state, she still could think a little-- and she was still on the right mind, or well-- sort of but not really.

feeling rather lost with what she should do (she had no home-- and so, she wasn’t reallly sure where to go right now) she pulled out her mobile phone from her pocket, calling someone randomly from her contact list-- which was satoshi.

“heeeeeeellooooooooo~~” she said. “i have no idea where i am and i don’t know where to go can you pick me up?”