Maybe it’s just her... But those are the kinds of words that nobody wants to hear in the dark, right?
But the fault isn’t with the speaker! Well- Not her. She doesn’t do that kind of thing, ‘pretending’, for the sake of getting a rise out of the other- No, though she’d idealize that being the case now, what pulls her breath forth is a crunch, rustle, crack, from somewhere beyond the eye’s beholding.
“.. It’s getting closer-” - Trust her, for the love of fuck, those are not the kind of words she wants to say..!
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sending a number for an icon sooo 27 for 32 towards 27
"So- 27... About last night...
"What exactly happened?" Not really like she wants to dwell on it at all-- But coming in at the last minute, the details are just a bunch of oddly fallen puzzle pieces. Some click into place easily enough, but others not so much.... Normally, she's fine to leave it at that, but when it involves her friends-
"I get that... guy was just trying to start fights, but... I dunno, it didn't seem like he was actually trying to fight much-"
“Yo! Dumbass! Looks like we’re partnered up this round~!”
Just the two of them-- For a game like this, it feels like it’s been a while... But it feels like she lucked out, to be perfectly honest-!
“So--” As her mind runs over the rules, her body falls into lunges and twists to warm herself up for any demands the round might make of her. “Um.. What’s our first move? I think we should get a pack for food-- it sounds like this might last a while.”
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You can never be too careful when it comes to getting close to people.
Motives are hard to spot. Undercurrents can and do twist every expectation. You can be close to people without becoming vulnerable to these things -- That idea sits strong, but it’s still.. saddening... to think anything might be fake.
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... It’s a stupid thing to try to measure though, isn’t it? Even the blades of grass occasionally gifted underfoot are synthetic. Every star up there was painted on by a bored hand plastering up the decorations. Balancing what’s fake and what’s real here is a fool’s errand... You can only take what you’re given.
She’s.. lucky. In a place like this, to have found people who... For whom she’ll build a stupid ice rink on the offhanded request of, and then find herself so excited to show to two other particular names, even knowing their reactions tend to be small~ To have people she can look forward to playing with so much, instead of feeling anxiety as with others. To have a string of people that even come to mind when the words ‘best friend’ pop up, whether or not reciprocated, whether or not meaningful...
Honestly.. She’s lucky to have people that make her heart betray itself and its promise to not pick favorites.
“That’s what you’re telling yourself now?”
“.... I know...”
He sat, crouched, pressing hands together in a way that hung between his knees. It’s been a while, since she’d seen one seated in a way that felt just so y̸̖̾o̷̰͒ͅu̷͙̍̚._..
“That you’re lucky? That they’re your friends?”
“...”
“They’re not even the ones tricking you. 9687308742546408436.
“Look, I just... don’t like you that way... I don’t mind if you’re gay, just... Can we just be f̶͚͈̞͚̓͆r̸̳̠̓͛̕ͅi̶̺̘̲̊̄̇̍͜e̷̻̻̅̽̃̕ṇ̶̨͓̽d̵̯͈̲̓s̵̏̍͗̓ͅ...?”
“You’re really so mixed up over a stupid heartbreak? Who cares if you got dumped.
“What if she’s watching right now? You think she’ll be flattered or creeped out?”
“...”
“Look, there’s a thousand and one other paths out there” He shifted to sit beside her, and lifted a hand to point out the broken glass. “Maybe in one of them, you’re married on a farm with her. In this one, you’re broken up about her long after she forgot you existed. Who cares? There’s other things to worry about.”
His hand rolled around to palm-up, and curled into a fist. “If you keep wasting time on these things, you’re gonna get crushed~ Is that how you wanna go?”
“... No... I know...”
“Other people’s opinions don’t matter. This whole ‘show’ doesn’t matter. The world begins and ends with you, so if you’re gonna survive it, you gotta let these things go.”
“... Why do you hang out with me, then..?”
“... Heh~ You’re the only one that listens.
“Plus, you keep coming to me~”
“I’m not sure... We should keep hanging out so much... I’m sorry-?”
...
... You were... right, is the worst part.
Tons of people probably find me annoying, just like tons probably find me appealing.
I get fan letters all the time, and people around here usually seem happy to see me, even though all they do is see me...
Even if I don’t talk to anyone like I did with you, anymore... Even if a lot of things are on the surface, that’s where the water feels best. It doesn’t really matter.
Your harsh tones bring to light the same things I already know. Just, the truth tastes really bitter sometimes. You seemed so comfortable with it... Your entire self was bitter, though. I wanted you to be happy-- I rarely made you happy...
You still kept talking to me, though. That was enough. You seemed.. to both love and detest me at once. Like I was your pesky little sister or something. You had... so many bitter truths in you to share with me. I’m still trying to swallow them all down, but you had something to say. Something you really wanted someone to hear.
Who cares.... It doesn’t matter .... In your own world, what really matters is yourself. Without that, there’s nothing.
So... Why did you kill me, then...?
... ‘Lucky’ ... Or maybe dumb... But who cares. To me, to my world.. I just can’t get away from the value of these connections. Good and bad. I want to play with them, I want to have fun and hug and love, and I want to listen to everybody’s words. You.. had something to say. You haunt me, but I’m still glad I heard you. I’m glad I can carry your messages with me, I’m glad I still think about them and what they could have meant... I’m glad I try to do that with others, too... ... I want to carry as many as I can hold.
To make up for a lack of ‘me’? You’d suggest something like that... Maybe it is the case. But everybody has something to say, and I have a lot of room in myself to carry the words and ideas.
I don’t know.. if I have anything to say.. I don’t know what people will hear after I’m gone. I don’t know how they see me, what they take from me... If they care to take anything...
.. But... If it’s as ‘surface-level’ as laughter and hugs and this feeling of ‘love’... Well... The most comfortable place is at the surface of the water. Where sunlight hits and we can bask in the warmth.
And personally, I rather like the sunshine I have found myself in-
,,,, Considering she’s the only one who’s actually fallen,,,, more than once,,,
In love, though? Umm,, She does love, but putting it like that makes it sound more intense-- What she feels is just fondness, you know? Maybe a bit of infatuation from time to time, but in love, that’s a bit much...
🍕 which muse is a terrible cook
Really, the better question is who’s a decent cook. The answer to that, 18~ And probably 56~ Nine maybe learned a thing or two as well, actually, so especially for his age, he gets points there. Maybe 53 has...? Everybody else--
Not to say that they’d all be terrible if they tried, but most just simply haven’t learned much of anything about it. From what they told me so far, at least.
💑 who would make the best couple of two of your muses together
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 74 and juuzou face :>
Hmm~ At this point, is it even worth repeating? But, um, a general word like ‘smart’ doesn’t really cut it! What it really is, is that you’re... fascinating. Almost everything that seems to come so naturally to you are some of the last things I would ever think of -- But still, you make perfect sense! And even when I can’t grasp it right away, it makes perfect sense to you, which is enough.
I call you a dumbass~ And you are, but I’m sure you get that the sense is different. We’ve.. been over the details it already, I can and will kick your scrawny ass~ <3 But I trust you...more than most... Not hostile is positive enough~ So, you’re someone I really like to be around.
Your voice is very... hm, soothing? Just, very nice to listen to~ Your thoughts are intriguing~ Your leads are almost always reliable. Hmm.. Your eyes are very pretty! Sort of... watery.. light... Easy to sink into..? Hmmm... Hm~ Your hair is-.... Heheh~ It’s nice! Cloudy~ I wish I could figure out what I wanted to do with it... But, the style is pretty alright~ It’s you~ Hm, your clothes are definitely nice! I mean, I don’t understand every choice you make here, but it works for you! Hmmmm... Hm~ Your hands are soft~ And your lap makes a pretty nice place to sit! *:・゚✧ Oh, on that note, um, the way you sit is interesting itself, actually! I don’t know how to elaborate on that... It’s just.. another thing that feels very you.
I guess it really goes for everyone, but there’s so many little things that are very you... In your case though, I think.. pretty much all of those things are some kind of nice. Um.. Calming, in a way~ Even when you confuse me, you have this way of being like... hm...
A small scratch to her neck, looking for the right words- The first ones to come to mind feel weird to say, but someone like you would probably appreciate it, she thinks?
Like the world keeps turning... Like there’s things outside my vision... Like... the world is very big... Big enough to hold someone like me, and someone like you. To me, that’s comforting. The fact that someone like you exists~ Even the smallest comments from you just feel.. a certain kind of warming to hear. In my opinion, anyway~
... Heheh, I don’t even know if it bothers you. But, in case they ever do... calling you ‘weird’ or ‘confusing’ or anything... Hm, I just hope you don’t take it to heart? Even if not now, if you ever doubt in the future... Just, know that you don’t need to change~ The world needs perspectives like yours...
... Unless, y’know, you’re secretly evil or something~ In that case, definitely change! Cuz.. I’d really rather like to keep you as a friend~