#p:gabe

Franco had been using for a few weeks now. He'd been sleeping better but that was only because the drugs had made him sleep better. He'd been invited for a few drinks by a couple of the other Serpents and had realised, if he kept saying no, they might start to think something was off. It was half way through the night he excused himself, explaining he needed a smoke and heading for the door. He'd been pretty quiet all night, sure that it had something to do with the heroin he'd taken that morning. Once outside the bar, he looked around, checking no one had followed and headed down the side of the building, making his way round back where the bins were kept. He knelt down beside the large bin and reached into his pocket, with drawing his gear. He loaded the powder onto the spoon before heating it with his lighter and allowing it to liquefy and cool before drawing it up in the needle. He gotten pretty good at finding his veins without a tourniquet so, holding the needle in his mouth, he flexed his hands a few times, watching for the vein to appear and, once it did, he pushed the needle in, another puncture wound to join all the wounds littered over his body, waiting for the drug to spread through his body.

It’d been a typical night at the bar thus far. Nothing spectacular, nothing terrible, just another shift for Gabriel to get through before going home and plunking himself in front of Netflix. The Serpents were there, which meant a nice steady flow. Franco had shown up tonight, it was a pleasant enough surprise. He hadn’t seen much of him lately. Eventually Franco ducked out, not quite uncommon but as time passed at he didn’t come back, Gabriel began to worry. He quickly told his boss he’d be right back and slid out to look for the Serpent. He wasn’t out front so the next logical place was out back. He figured he’d check there before alerting anyone else. When he walked around back he sure as fuck found Franco, but the scene he saw before him was not expected. He barely took it the needle and supplies next to the man before his blood started boiling. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, man?!”

Franco had been so focused on the task at hand, he hadn't heard anyone coming down the alleyway until he heard them shout at him. He sank back against the wall, his eyes already starting to roll in his head as he removed the needle from his arm and clutched it in his hands. He looked over at Gabe, his eyes not focusing on him, his head rested against the wall. After a hit, he'd found he had to stay still for at least ten minutes. When he'd first started using, he'd just slept but after a week or so, he'd found he could choose to sleep or to gorge out and watch telly. He took a deep breath and laughed, "What am I doing? I don't think that's your business" he said from his spot on the wall.

Gabriel couldn’t believe his ears. Here was his friend, standing behind his work, injecting himself with literally God knows what, and he was being told it was none of his business? That pissed him right off. He could see Franco was unstable on his feet as he walked closer. The dude looked more out of it than he’d ever really seen anyone. “Give me one good Goddamned reason why I don’t go grab a few of your fellow Serpents, right now,” he challenged.

Franco watched as Gabe came near him and he quickly pocketed the needle, he didn't need it taken off him right now, he'd only just seen Aaron for more gear. He remained against the wall, his head moving from watching Gabe to staring back up at the sky. He'd crossed his arms across his chest and held his elbow, rubbing it gently, the sting of the needle still there. "Cause there'd be no point. No one would believe you, I've had these scars since I was kidnapped and they all know I haven't been feeling great recently" he explained, a small smirk on his face

Gabriel rolled his eyes. That was weak, even for Franco. He was soon within an arms reach of the other and grabbed Franco's arm, looking at the fresh track marks. "Yeah, I'm sure they'll believe these are from weeks ago. Nice try, Bud."

Franco glared at Gabe, pulling his arm away from him like he’d been burnt, “So, what you going to do huh?” He asked, his voice low and angry, “Go running in there, tell them you saw me shooting up in the alley? They won’t care Gabe and I’m not afraid of them”. His eyes were dark as he stared at Gabe, leaning against the wall for support.

"Give me one fucking good reason why I shouldn't, Franco," Gabe retorted, angrily. "If they really wouldn't care, you wouldn't be hiding it like a coward. You know what you're doing is stupid as fuck, or at least you should." Gabriel could feel his blood boiling further but he tried to push it down. He hated that his friend was pulling this crap.

Franco smirked and scoffed, rolling his eyes as he flexed his neck and rested his head against the wall, “You’d think if they cared they would have noticed by now. I’ve been doing it for weeks and it feels so good Gabe” he said, his lips curled into a large smirk as the drugs started working through his system, “What I’m doing may be stupid but picking a fight with me will just be worse for you”.

Gabriel couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "You think," he breathed out, "picking a fight with me somehow ends with you winning?" He had to reconfirm because frankly he couldn't believe his ears. "I'd think about your answer really well dude, before you answer, because as I recall you're pretty popular for picking fights you can't win." Gabriel didn't want to have to lay the guy out, but he would if he had to.

Franco nodded, “I think picking a fight with me isn’t a good idea” he confirmed, “I get you do that crazy martial arts crap but that means you have some sort of moral compass”. He kind of knew, in some fields, you weren’t allowed to abuse what you knew cause of Benji so he was winging it and hoping for the best, the last thing he needed right now was a smack to the face, he wasn’t feeling very steady, “But I mean, if you wanna go in and get back up, feel free”. That was the problem with drugs, they made him brave. Made him forget the scared man that he really was.

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose. This wasn't his friend and he was getting quite irritated. He was pulling patience from places he didn't even know existed. "Look dude," he replied, still angry but more level. "You need to stop this shit, like right now, and I don't think you can. So yeah, I'm going to tell your Serpent pals but you're coming with me, whether you like it or not, because I don't trust you back here by yourself."

Franco shook his head, “I ain’t going anywhere unless it’s home” he spoke, turning his head away from Gabe and looking down the alley. He pushed himself from the wall and took a shaky step forward, why hadn’t he just waited until he was home to do this? He steadied himself, “I ain’t going back in that bar and I ain’t gunna stop”.

Gabriel reached out and took a firm grip on Franco's upper arm. "You really want to try me here, Franco?" He tested. He was not letting Franco leave here, especially not alone.

Franco twisted himself around, bringing himself face to face with Gabe and staring down at his grip, kind of glad for it as the spin had made him stumble, “Try what Gabe” he hissed, “You really think you’re gunna stop me leaving here”.

"You're gonna come in one way or another, dude," Gabriel replied, tired of this already. He pushed Franco back against the wall, probably a little more aggressively than needed, but he didn't care. "I can and will stop you from leaving here along, dude."

Franco stumbled back against the wall, his back hitting it hard, "What you going to do huh? Take me in there, tell them I'm doing heroin and let them kick the crap outta me? Serpents are family". He gulped, "Get off me Gabe, before I make you".

Gabriel took a second to answer. "You think I want them to beat the shit out of you, Franco?" He asked, bewildered. "Jesus Christ. No. I want you to stop and I think they should know about because they are your family." He ran his free hand through his hair, still holding his grip on Franco. "Also, you really can't make me do anything, especially not like this."

Franco laughed, "Some of them won't take to kindly to what I've been doing and they won't accept just telling me to stop". He sighed and nodded, "Have it your way" and he balled his fist, aiming it for the only accessible part of Gabe, his stomach.

Gabriel rolled his eyes the minute he saw Franco readying himself to throw a punch. He quickly grabbed Franco's hand with his free hand and sighed. "You're not going to win here," he quipped. "Don't bother trying."

Franco tried to pull his fist from Gabe's grip but the boy was too strong and the drugs were already working through his system, "Please" he said, "Please for the love of god, just let me walk away".

Gabriel released Franco. "Franco, no. You can't just walk away. I can't let you because if you keep at this you're gonna end up dead somewhere." Gabriel was seriously concerned about his friend and he was going to at least let one Serpent know before the night was up.

Franco steadied himself and sighed, "I don't want or need help Gabe. I'm numbing all the shit I've been through and weed and alcohol wasn't enough. Please, i've been doing this for weeks, just let it be".

Gabriel shook his head. "That's not convincing me in the slightest that I shouldn't be concerned here." He sighed again, trying to sound like he was going easier on the other. "Come inside with me, or I'm going and grabbing Charlie."

Franco's eyes widened when Gabe said Charlie's name. If Charlie found out, Darius woild too and this was not the news he needed his boss and leader to hear. He shook his head, "You can't tell Charlie" he breathed, stepping forward and gripping Gabe's shirt, loosely and more from fear then anything else, "Please you can't, she'll tell Dare".

Gabriel nodded. "I know, that's the point, really," he answered, pushing Franco's hand off his shirt. "You're walking back in there and telling someone of your choice, or, I get her."

Franco let his hands drop to his side and gulped, "I don't want to go back in there. I need to go home and sleep" he admitted, "Just, tell Charlie then, I don't even care" he lied but he knew he needed to go home, he couldn't face his family now.

“You can go talk to her, or anyone of your choosing really,” Gabe suggested as nicely as possible. “And then you can go sleep.”

Franco shook his head, "I ain't saying shit, I'm happy with only you knowing" and he shrugged his shoulders, "I gotta get out of here bro" and he turned heel to walk away

“You leave right now and I’m telling all of ‘em,” Gabe challenged, hoping that would be enough for Franco to turn around on his own.

Franco stopped in his tracks and sighed, "They'll all find out any way" he said, swallowing hard, "I'll be kicked out my family so go ahead, I'm not going to stop you".

Gabriel sighed and walked to close the gap between he and the other. “Franco. Look. You can’t deal with this alone, and I don’t think you’ll be kicked out. You just need to talk to someone before this gets even more out of hand.”

Franco turned around and shook his head, "I've been dealing with it just fine Gabe. Unless you had have caught me, you wouldn't even know what I was doing". He walked back over to the wall, needing to steady himself, his body tired as the drugs were taking effect, "Come on, do what you have too. I have to go home before I fall down sleeping here"

“Just come in with me, dude,” Gabriel urged. “Because for one, I don’t think you can get home alone right now.” He paused for a moment. “And if shit goes south, I’ll give you a ride wherever you need after my shift.”

Franco bit down on his lip, his heart was racing, his blood was pumping fast. Millions of things were rushing through his head. Dare finding out, Charlie finding out, Benji finding out... All the people the truth would hurt. He lent heavily against the wall, "Just, tell Charlie she knows where to find me OK? I got a lot of people who are going to need to hear it from me"

Gabriel raised a brow. “Do you mean here? Or are you still trying to convince me that I should let you go home alone in your state?”

Franco shook his head, "Look, I'll level with you. I have to go and find someone before any of this shit gets out. I don't need him hearing through the grapevine".

Gabriel sighed. “I still don’t want you leaving here alone. How many times do I have to say that for it to get through your thick skull?”

Franco sighed, "Gabe, I promise you, I'll be OK, but I have to tell Benji now, before any of you do. Please".

Gabriel ran a hand through his hair. "Look, let me call you an Uber or whatever, so at least I know you'll get home." Gabriel wasn't normally one to give in but he knew he had to get back inside sooner rather than later.

Franco nodded, "Fine, call the god damn Uber" he knew he needed to go home and this was the only way Gabe was going to let him.

Gabriel pulled out his phone and ordered an Uber to the bar. "Text me when you get home, dude. Don't think I won't be coming around to check up on you."

Franco took a deep breath, "I'll text you OK. I just can't do this. No point trying to deny I'm out of my head". He started to walk again heading to the front of the club

She knew that she had probably freaked him the fuck out with her phone call, but she couldn’t really worry about that right now because she was, in fact, freaking the fuck out. She was pregnant for fuck’s sake - she’s a twenty years old and completely up the spout. And she was maybe sort of finally getting somewhere with the guy she’d been in love with for years, but none of that really mattered now, did it? For all intents and purposes, her life was ruined. 

She had worked herself up into such a tizzy that by the time Gabe knocked on the door, she was somewhere between hyperventilating and crying - maybe both. And while he may have been the one to get her into this mess, he was still her friend first and foremost, so the second she opened the door, she flung her arms around him.  “Gabe! Thank god! Thank you for coming,” her words came out as a jumble, her face pressed against his chest. Considering the last time they had seen each other she had been essentially crushing whatever hopes he had of something more between them, it probably wasn’t the best greeting, but again, she couldn’t care. She was basically about to crush his entire future, so what was his heart along with it? 

But how to break it to him? Pulling back, she looked him in the eyes - how was she supposed to tell him? Best to just rip it off like a bandaid. “I’m - I’m pregnant. I’m sorry.” 

The hug was the last thing he expected from her as a greeting. She practically dove into his arms. To Gabriel it could only mean two things: she’s done something extremely bad like maybe murder; or she’s taking back everything she told him, that she’s actually ready to take a chance with him. Well, it’s not too late, he thought. He can take it, he’s still up for it, right? But what about Aaron? Weren’t they seeing each other? Didn’t it work out?

But against his chest, Lila was crying. Shaking. She was freaking out, so this wasn’t probably about them getting another chance. Maybe Aaron did something to her, hurt her. Rejected her. Oh who was Gabriel kidding? He knew Aaron; he wouldn’t do that to her. When she pulled away, looked into his eyes and broke the news to him, the first thing that came out of his mouth was, “With whose baby?”

She wouldn’t ask him to come over, cry against his chest if this was all just a stupid prank. Lila was his partner-in-crime. She wouldn’t pull such a stupid prank on him. Closing the door behind him to shut the rest of the world out, he tried to hold onto his sanity. Tried to distract himself from the night they did it. Where they took each other, entangled in sheets. “Why are you apologizing? Pull your shit together, Lila I am so confused right now.”

It had to be karma. That was the only explanation for why fate could have fucked her up so bad. It would explain everything, come to think of it - her father, Aaron, Gabe. She was a terrible person in a past life and now she was paying for it. It was easier just to chalk it all up to a cosmic joke, than to deal with the fact that she had made the biggest mistake of her life. But let’s face it - her life was basically over. Aaron probably wouldn’t even look at her after this and she wouldn’t blame Gabe for wanting nothing to do with her after the way she had basically used him. Her father would probably disown her for good this time, and her mother wouldn’t be able to look at her without crying. She was alone, even with Gabe in the room, because this was something that he couldn’t forgive her for. 

“I’m apologizing for everything,” she responded pitifully. “For being a shitty, goddamn person. For using you. Lord knows I’m paying for it now, but I just really wish I didn’t have to pull you down with me. You don’t deserve this - after everything. I’m just - I’m really fucking sorry.” Were she in her right mind, she would have realized that she had never truly answered his question, but with her whole world falling apart around her, she couldn’t help but assume that everyone already knew the cause. And why wouldn’t they? She was such a raging fuck-up that surely everyone must know. 

I’m apologizing for everything. Didn’t have to pull you down with me. After everything. His head was spinning from her apologies. Gabriel found his hold on her loosening, and his arm dropping lifelessly to his sides. It doesn’t take a genius to read between the lines. He hoped to get another chance with her, but not like this. His mother is still in the hospital and everything he earns from his freelancing job goes to the hospital bills. Last thing he needed was another life to look after.

He shook his head and laughed, rather desperately. “I’m so fucking stupid to hope this would be about us giving it another shot.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would wash this mess away. He opened them without meeting her eyes. “I will not be this baby’s father while you’re in love with Aaron. Tell him or get rid of it.” He said, as calmly as he could, his voice void of emotions.

She had never heard that tone of voice from Gabe before, and it was enough to shock her out of whatever crazy downward spiral she was currently going on. “Wait. What?” she responded dumbly. She hadn’t had time to think about things practically yet - her only thoughts consisting of oh shit, gotta tell Gabe, and don’t tell Aaron. So supposed that she should have been grateful that he was able to think so logically so quickly, but instead it just left her feeling like she had whiplash.  

Chalk it up to hormones, but her emotions changed from deep despair to raging anger in a second flat. “You’re not - It’s too late for that, Gabe! Tough shit, you’re already the father! And what do you mean tell Aaron? I’m sorry for what I did to you, but are you really so eager to destroy my relationship? This is going to destroy him! Is that what you want? Him out of the picture?” She knew deep down that she would have to tell Aaron eventually, but she dreaded the very idea of it and hated that Gabe was pressuring her. Hadn’t he already done enough? 

“No–yes. I mean, no! I meant, tell him because I will not be the–” he sighed heavily and felt his shoulders slump. “I know you’re in love with him. You made that clear. So clear and it hurt. A bit, but I accepted it. I am not destroying your relationship for fuck’s sake, Lila. If I wanted to steal you from him it’s not by.. by this!” The tone of his voice was slowly rising, his mind finally starting to wrap around what’s happening and he was this close to losing it. “I don’t want to destroy him, or you, or your relationship, because this destroys me too! God, Lila, I’m not that fucking desperate! Why did you call me here, huh? What do you want me to do? Why tell me? Tell him. Tell him, ask him to be its father or get rid of it. I will not -I am not ready to be a father.” 

She knew that she hurt him - knew that she continued to hurt him now. And she hated herself for it. Because in another world, she could have easily fallen for Gabe. He was attractive and funny, and they had so much in common. He was exactly the kind of person she had always envisioned herself with before Aaron came along and turned her world upside down. And when it was just her, it had been so much easier to push that potential aside, to ignore it, because Aaron was all she ever wanted, and the seed of her feelings for Gabe was so small in comparison. But it wasn’t just her now, and that realization rocked her to her core. Because no matter what she chose to do with the baby, she and Gabe had created something together that they could never escape. “I-” she started, stuttering over her words slightly in an attempt to collect her thought and explain the torrent of emotions raging inside her. “I called because this was something we did - together. And I know I hurt you, and you have every reason to hate me, but I care about you, Gabe. So much. I meant what I said that night! If the circumstances were different, I would be with you in a heartbeat. I just - I’m so confused! I wasn’t - I never wanted any of this to happen. You’re one of my closest friends, Gabe, and I know it’s selfish, but I need you right now!” 

Starting to pace back and forth, he impatiently listened to her explanation. “Everything was fine. I had started being fine.” He muttered to himself over and over. He could feel her eyes following him. Then he turned to her, tears burning behind his eyes now that everything was catching up to him. “I don’t hate you. I can never hate you.” Why would he? She was the first hookup he’s ever had feelings for. There was so much hope, so much potential in them. Under any other circumstance, this would be the best thing that has happened to him since his mother was hospitalized. She could easily have his whole heart, his full commitment –all of him. But of course life doesn’t work like that. She was in love with a man who’s absolutely a better man than Gabriel will ever be. Inasmuch as he wanted to, she can never take it against her. One doesn’t just choose who to love. “But the circumstances weren’t different. Just caring about me is not gonna fix this.” He almost wanted to give in, with the way she said she needed him. Every inch of his conscience, and every bit of what’s left of their once-strong friendship was starting to resurface. He couldn’t leave her like this, but right now what he needs is self-preservation. “You have a lot of other close friends,” he replied, his voice cracking. “I can’t do this. I.. I think I have to go.”

She could feel him slipping away from her and she was powerless to stop it. Her world was falling apart, and the one thing she knew was that she couldn’t lose him. The selfish part of her insisted that it was just because he had been the one to get her into this mess - he owed it to her to help her through it. But there was another part - timid and quiet though it was - that told her it was more than that. He was more than a close friend, more than the one who got her into this mess. They were partners now, tied together in the bonds of this horrible, shitty miracle. (She didn’t know why people called babies that - they were terrible and apparently far too easy to conceive to be considered miraculous…) It didn’t matter what happened now, this would stay with her forever - and so would Gabe. She couldn’t let him go so easily. It was impulsive, and probably stupid, and she would definitely pay for it later, but she rushed towards him, trapping him in a kiss. 

Next thing he knew, he was kissing her back. The last thing he needed was her keeping his hopes back up. But she was right there, rushing to him, keeping him from leaving. And he found himself kissing back. A deep and needy kiss that revealed whatever words he chose to leave out earlier. He was surprised how selfish she was making him. He wanted to want her, he wanted their kiss to last; what’s worse is he started to want Aaron out of the picture. Gabriel was sure it was Aaron she liked first, but it was him that came to her first. He reluctantly broke the kiss, remembering that he should be resorting to self-preservation. With his hands still on her waist, and his forehead against hers, he spoke in a soft voice. “I..want to want you. Had you told me you wanted to be with me, I’d be yours. Just like that. But we both know that once everything’s under control, you’ll be running back to him.”

She poured everything she had into that kiss - her uncertainty about her feelings, her anger that he had gotten her into this mess, all of it. It was different from their past kisses, less playful and more desperate, but this, she realized, was her life now. And the worst part was that she felt it, stirring in her gut, the seed of something. “I want to want you, too,” she whispered back, her voice hoarse from yet more unshed tears. “I just - God, this all just became so much more complicated. We can’t come back from this, Gabe. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but this is gonna stay with me forever.” 

Now that they weren’t being hysterical anymore (they still are, only not as much as they were a few moments back), Gabe had to say it. “You just had to kiss me, didn’t you? I should’ve agreed when you suggested we use a condom. And you should’ve stopped me there, since you already knew then that you love..” him. He swallowed hard, sniffing back his tears. What was he going to do now? She was right, they can’t come back from it. It’s already in her womb. Gabe wanted her to get rid of it, but now that he can think again, he wouldn’t want her to go through such a painful process. Kissing her forehead, he slowly pulled away. “Maybe.. maybe we shouldn’t think about it right now. We still have months before the bump shows. We’ll figure it out. But I hope you understand.. that I can’t have you looking at me like you wish I was him. I don’t want that to happen. We both deserve better. I’m gonna need some time alone… Give me today, and–and tomorrow. Then we’ll talk the day after that.”

She didn’t know why she hadn’t stopped Gabe. She guessed at the heart of it, she just wanted to be wanted. Every statistic had been screaming in her head, even when he promised to pull out, but she thought she knew her cycle, she thought she was safe. It was a mistake that would haunt her for the rest of her life. “Okay,” she nodded, exhaling shakily. “Yeah, okay. This is a lot to just lay on you. Of course you need time. I just - I think I need some time too. Y’know, to just… figure everything out. Can I ask you for one favor, though? Can you not tell Aaron?”