ugh this is so personal and sad but I just need to write it down or I’ll cry myself to sleep
I just stumbled upon a TikTok account of a 30-something man who lives on a small island in the PNW. his wife, Paige, died of stage 4 cancer in December and he cared for her the entire time. he literally carried her body out of their home to the coroner’s van. and now I’m just sobbing at the heartbreak that’s inevitably ahead of my girlfriend (and me, if I have any say in the matter). it hurts more than I can say knowing that there’s so many dreams she won’t be able to fulfill simply because she can’t plan ahead like that. but I’m praying that I’ll be able to there for her when she needs me most and that we can make the greatest memories in our time together even if things are non-traditional and that that the worst times won’t be until many years from now but dammit I hate cancer so much
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a conversation between a man condemned and his devotee
Litany of Things Which are Crossed Out, Richard Siken | Uriel, Yves Olade | Heart Berries, Terese Marie Mailhot | When Rome Falls, Yves Olade | Neon, Yves Olade | @sandarafreedompark | Death Wish, Josh Alex Baker | Beloved, Yves Olade | Confessional, Sue Zhao | Straw for the Fire, Theodore Roethke | A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway | Blossoms, The Amazing Devil
(ID under the cut)
[ID: A collection of quotes from various sources.
1. Dear So-and-So, I’m sorry I couldn’t come to your party. / Dear So-and-So, I’m sorry I came to your party / and seduced you / and left you bruised and ruined, you poor sad thing.
2. We met out the back of the bar, and you smiled, all knives. Said, You don’t know me yet, but you will. We’re going to be so dangerous, babe, I can feel it. Found out biblically wasn’t the only way to know someone when I prised open your chest, looking for burning.
3. I wanted to know what I looked like to you. A sin committed and a prayer answered, you said.
4. I say, I promise I won’t do anything awful, / and he says, you are something awful, / but I’m keeping you anyway. / does that make me your bad thing? your wild / thing? something worth hunting across the county? / you want to kill me more than anyone else. / That’s what love is, baby.
5. It’d be the good kind of fire. More purgatory, less witch hunt. / I could try burn all this shame out of me. / It’d work as well as you think it would, / meaning, not at all.
6. I’m scared of the love I have for you. Because I know it will ruin me. And I also know that I will let it.
7. I will never admit what he means to / me. Will say / he was simply a game I / could not pass up. Love / is a death wish between you / and the you you’re / becoming. I will never admit to / him that his love feels like a tease / from God. A gift I / only deserve as prelude to punishment. Love / is a bluff between goodbye and forever. You
8. & vicious. & lovely. So when God asks / me about love, I respond with cruelty. I know / no other answer / I know no other question. I’m
9. And when one of us had finished confessing, we’d fall into the others orbit. And the other could always be relied upon to keep us there. / So when we asked the question in out own convoluted way, (will you love me anyway?)
10. It’s your privilege to find me incomprehensible. I gave you my minutes; let them remain ours. I hope I haunt you.
11. "Hell," I said, "I love you enough now. What do you want to do? Ruin me?" / "Yes. I want to ruin you." / "Good," I said. "That's what I want too.”
12. And I pick up the phone, dial your number and wait / And shine like my petals once shone / And just as it's ringing, I whisper aloud to my saint / "Oh, we, we're gonna get on"
my "Persistence Predation is Inherently Erotic Due to the Nature of Patience, Fatigue, Victory, and Reward" shirt is attracting too many questions that are already answered by the shirt
I am writing to you as the moderator of @limbusfinder. Due to a sudden influx in unhoused limbi of various... dubious origins, we are currently looking for foster homes that can cultivate a caring and protective environment. We are currently in the process of screening various local limbus keepers and would like to extend an invitation for you to participate in our new fostering initiative. Please write back at your earliest convenience.
With A Very Neutral Establismentarian Stance On Current Events,
-P
I cna try. Idobt think i wil do well with the lack of bones and all but i cna try :) who are the guys you are talkig about
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prev post + also the number of white girl acquaintances who have talked to me abt their racist aunts these past few days or participated in racial discussion when multiple subs were fired for saying SLURS 🧍♀️
i think i made a mistake i really made a mistake im scared to have a white roomie in the fall this was a bad idea i shouldn't have gone thru w it i fucked up 😭😭😭😭😭 should've picked anyone else ANYONE!!!!!!!
my birthday present for @headphonecables !!! i had so much fun working on this and drawing this scene between our blorbos (Pastor Jonah (brown hair on the left) belongs to @headphonecables)
[ID: A digital drawing of two original characters in a confessional, Bishop Eli and Pastor Jonah. Bishop Eli is an older man with pale skin and freckles, with grey eyes and long gray hair and a beard. He is dressed in a white button up with bell sleeves and black pants, with a pectoral cross hanging on his chest. Pastor Jonah is younger man with brown hair in an undercut, dressed in a black shirt and pants with a clerical collar.
Eli gazes down at the pastor with a gentle expression, one hand on pastor’s forehead, his other hand open and upturned. Light coming in from stained glass in the confessional illuminates Eli’s back. Pastor Jonah kneels looking up at Eli, hands clasped together over Eli’s knee. Behind him, a halo emanates light in the confessional. The halo fades to black closer to the pastor’s head. The scene is surrounded by a border meant to be reminiscent of illuminated manuscripts. On the left side is an apple with a snake winding up and around. On the right are various plants, from bottom to top: yellow roses, lime blossom, mint, calla lillies, and fennel. End ID.]
i’m going through my WIPs folder right now cleaning it out and found a few old, old canvases with unfinished drawings of mel and my virgil. thought i’d dump em all here
