#ozryel

They had no idea why Rhyssa was screaming. They only knew this fight was hopeless; the mother of swarms was toying with them, and Uunive hadn’t managed to get close to the matriorb’s tank because Ozryel would swoop down to beat her back. 

She was fast, too fast even for Tuuya to get many hits on. 

They were lucky she didn’t seem inclined to use a gun. Perhaps she hadn’t bothered to learn how.

Tuuya gritted their teeth. How were they supposed to break this stalemate?

–

Rhyssa fumed in a small respiteblock, the few remaining clouds of her flying so fast in circles they generated heat. Her troll form’s fists clenched, and she bared her needle teeth.

How fuckin’ dare Inshii abandon her! Abandon Mama! When she got out of here, she was gonna give them such a -

Oh damn it.

Rhyssa found herself torn apart by multiple superheated blades at once, and the melted wasps could no longer make others as they struggled and died. 

She regrouped, panting, snarling as she stared at her attackers. The goddamn DeVilles, of course. They all looked at her with eyes as cold as ice.

“You think you can - can fuckin’ kill me?” She said, amused despite her rage, sending some of herself to sting them, tear at their skin. “Even if you put me down here, I’ll still -”

She was struck again, despite her counterattack. Again, and again, and again. So many wasps fell, they covered the floor of her cavern room in a mass of twisted, bubbling white. 

She screamed again, and the DeVilles winced as more wasps rose, but there were hardly any left now. Not after her construct Tuuya had destroyed, not after Rivali, not after the ones the Hanhai jades had managed to swat.

She had brought every part of her to this attack, taking even the ones she usually left to guard her town. 

Desperate to see her family whole again, Rhyssa had held nothing back. 

Now, under a trifold onslaught of freshly fed rainbowdrinkers, she was little more than a few dozen insects struggling to cling to bones, her skimpy clothes so shredded they barely stayed together.

Nothing to worry about. She’d just come back, she always did. She’d make these heathens regret -

Hirudo rammed her with her trident, cracking her bones apart, squishing most of the insects into paste.

Only a few left now, enough to barely make her voice work as she buzzed feebly, spawning a few last wasps, but they too were dispatched by Neffie and Joey’s blades.

“I’m not - you can’t -”

“I can.” Said Hirudo, and gored her through her lungs, destroying the final piece of the ancient swarm.

Her eggshell had been burned by Platar. She could not respawn.

After ten thousand years, Rhyssa the wasp was dead.

–

Ozryel paused again, and Tuuya riddled her with holes again.

Though she healed, she stayed still, her translucent wings barely beating enough to keep her aloft.

She landed, her bare feet touching down gently on the floor as her pale teal dress fluttered. 

Tuuya gave up shooting her for the moment. They shouldn’t waste any more charge. 

“Rhyssa…my daughter is gone.”

The old hag actually sounded mournful.

“Good.” Said Tuuya and Uunive together. 

“This was all her fault to begin with.” Snarled the worm swarm. “She had it coming.”

Ozryel turned her full attention to Tuuya for the first time.  Seizing the opportunity, Uunive began to slowly, stealthily make her way toward the matriorb again. 

“You blame Rhyssa for this?”

The fallen angel sounded amused, intrigued even. 

“Oh, Tuuya…what lies you tell yourself.”

“What can I say? I inherited deception from you.” They shot back, wanting to keep her eyes on them by any means possible.

Then Ozryel was shot directly in the heart - if she had a heart - by what looked like a superheated bullet, one the swarm hadn’t even heard coming.

She shrieked like her daughter had, Tuuya’s ears pressing down from a noise far louder and closer.

The mother of swarms launched herself back into the air, but more slowly, more unsteadily as her body had to push the steaming, bloodied bullet out.

Tuuya turned around, and smiled in relief and worry alike to see Rivali shooting at Ozryel again, narrowly dodging as she swooped down with her claws out and fangs bared.

With a quick reach into their sylladex, they swapped their laser pistols for their revolver, which Uunive had also made lucky. They had never preferred bullets, but now was the time. 

Ozryel cursed them both as they riddled her, swearing vengeance on Kotenkha’s line - wasn’t that Rivali’s ancestor? - and becoming so incensed her flying was more erratic. She was easier to hit now, but she also seemed to want to tear the komondor troll apart, and they were still only slowing her down for seconds at a time. 

Skilled as the jade was, they did not have the strength and speed of an undead, and Ozryel was starting to break through their armor and injure them, a slash here, a bite there.

Tuuya saw, out of the corner of their eye, that Uunive had gotten ahold of the matriorb. She nodded at them.

Tuuya gritted their teeth as they had the luck to land a perfect cluster of shots on Ozryel, enough to slow her nearly to a standstill. 

This was going to hurt.

Bone cracked and reformed, skin grew and stretched, their clothes tearing and Tuuya made their very bones lighter in the seconds it took them to drop their gun and begin transforming, dashing up the giant corpse of the mother grub.

Then they launched themself, arms now batlike wings, off of the carcass to tackle Ozryel in midair before she could strike at the wounded jadeblood one last time.

They tangled her up, bearing the screeching creature down to crash on the rock. 

Tuuya wrapped her in their tendrils, more and more even as she tore through them, as she clawed chunks out of the worm swarm, rending their skeleton, crushing their lungs.

Still they constricted her, still they held as their worms were scattered across the floor, chewed apart, shredded to pieces.

They heard a noise. The tell-tale hum of a technological energy barrier being thrown up.

As Ozryel finally ripped them into enough agonized pieces that they stopped moving, Tuuya still looked over with their nearly severed head and just caught the retreating figures of Uunive and Rivali escaping with the orb.

Their exit was now sealed behind a shimmering blue wall covering the only tunnel out. 

Not even Ozryel could break through that. 

She howled in rage and hate, and looked at her mangled descendant with glowing green eyes.

“I was going to make new children! Loyal ones! An army!” She snarled. “You took that from me! You - you filth! Pathetic imitation! Half-troll whelp!”

“You’re a terrible mother.” Murmured Tuuya with weary amusement, too tired to try to knit their broken body back together. “I’d say I did those poor would-be swarms a favor.”

“As if you are better!” Said Ozryel harshly, mockingly. “You blame Rhyssa for your troubles! But you did not listen to her when she first asked you to come, so of course she had to force you.”

Her green eyes gleamed as she spoke again, voice now low, a sort of sadistic purr. 

“I’ve seen all your memories, Tuuya. I lived in your body.”

The worm swarm swallowed.

“I know you abandoned Uunive for space, thinking you would die killing Firebird. You lied to her throughout her youth. 

You shelter Ailene, knowing as she grows more healthy, you’ll be more tempted to eat her.”

Tuuya’s ears drooped. It wasn’t anything they hadn’t thought before, but hearing Ozryel say it…

“Do you really think Florah will continue to accept you if he learns more of your deeds? That Melina will still humor you once she gets bored of your fussing? That Crimew will want you if she is ever able to return home? 

You are a hypocrite denying your true nature, pathetic and mealy-mouthed, trying to play both sides while embodying the worst qualities of each. You are nothing but a stain upon troll and swarm.”

Tuuya lay there, silent, having no retort. What defense was there to give?

Ozryel got up, her dress now tattered, and walked a few feet away, crossing her arms as she stared down at the second worm swarm. 

“I meant to save every race this empire has ever destroyed, and I failed. I am the product of trollkind’s own violence, and you wonder why I rage at what they took from me? At least I do not pretend to be anything else, unlike you. Lying to yourself so well that you believe you belong among trolls. Lleios had the same sickness.”

Tuuya shook with a quiet sob. 

“I don’t…I’m not trying to…”

“Liar.” Said Ozryel softly. “Still lying, even at the end. You have always loved to deceive and destroy…you cannot change your mind now, after gorging yourself on blood and pain for over a hundred sweeps.”

“No more.” Whispered the worm swarm. “I want to die. We both have to die.”

“I am death.” Said Ozryel scornfully. “You are a shadow of my weakest child. You cannot kill me.”

“No.” Said Tuuya, closing their eyes, mustering all their focus. “I can only offer you another way.”

Hundreds - thousands - of worms left their skin through their mouth and hands, their face, leaving it slack around their skeleton. They curled around Ozryel’s feet. She could have struck them down, but she was too amused. What were they doing now? 

It reminded her of how Lleios had played, when they were young.

They rippled and flowed over her skin, not biting her, merely tickling her with their wiggling. 

Then they curled inside her ears, her mouth, her mind, but they were so gentle. They didn’t linger…they dissolved.

They returned to her. Piece by piece, she felt her hope restored, given up so long ago when she’d thought there was no use for it anymore, trapped far underground in the dark, in a body she’d never wanted.  

She hissed and thrashed, trying to fight it. She still had no use for it! She - she - 

Ozryel glowed, not with the white pallor of an undead, but with promise; with the realization she should have left long ago, impressed on her mind as she became whole again. 

It was not possession, as she had once done to them. Tuuya willingly let themself melt away, their very identity slowly flickering into nothingness.

Her wings cast beams across the cavern, illuminating the entire place as she turned to pure light, shedding all her mortal concerns.

Corrupt no more, she ascended Alternia, an angel risen at last from her prison of flesh. 

Death was needed elsewhere.

When the light faded, Tuuya’s remains lay still and abandoned on the stony floor. 

–

The worm swarm floated far above their planet, adrift among its ships and satellites, the endless bustle of troll industry and empire.

Tuuya felt only a mild curiosity that they were not yet dead. Why were they witnessing this?

A last dying dream? Some sort of hallucination, like the one they’d had with Cestoa?

They saw…they saw Crimew, somehow.

Crash-landing on the planet, just like she’d said she had. 

Tuuya dove down closer, worried about her. She looked hurt and alone.

Tuuya saw Melina, alone, having just escaped her cult, unsure what to do or how to be a part of society. 

Florah, held captive by Allmah, suffering, driven mad by hunger.

Ailene, threatened by the drone. 

Devrin, cheerful, but a bit lonely on his turtle. 

Lulith, not taking any time to watch cartoons, bereft of the JoJo-themed clothing they’d made. 

Vallis, struggling to stay himself.

Ashe, still not knowing any other rainbowdrinkers.

The Diplomat, causing suffering once more.

Tantor, still longing for someone else like him when he was far from home.

Proxus, Hydran, Meloni…all their other students, still hoping for guidance.

Claire…never having gotten therapy, having no one to spar with to get her anger and frustration out.

Margol, still stuck on Alternia, slated to be helmed.

Gwyn, having made it off Alternia, but far slower, with more difficulty. 

Pebble, never having gotten a phone, unable to make friends far away from her volcano. 

Talula, untrained in her shadow powers, still a risk to herself and others.

Ichi, endangering himself far too recklessly in his daylight runs.

Rivali. Still miserable in a cavern that did not respect them.

Channi. Locked up in his mansion, even more afraid of the world than he was now.

Kamala. Still loved, still cared for, but not quite as much.

Vrayan. Similar to Kamala, and yet…

Jaskir. She and Channi were friends. Yet…she didn’t smile so often. Her lovely face was more muted now.

Uunive…

Uunive hadn’t lived at all.

Just another crushed grub, discovered hidden by Anders, simply for being lime.

Why were they seeing this? 

They were still selfish, parasitic of kindness better spent on those more deserving than them. They’d wanted to eat nearly every one of those people, dozens of times. 

They had consumed Kamala once, even if she had already died.

Such hungry love wasn’t real love.

Besides, they’d ruined so many more lives than they’d ever helped, starting with the massacre of Kaningård all those sweeps ago. It would never be even. 

They should get on with it and die.

Do the right thing, for once.

“Is that really what you want?” 

Lleios’s quiet, lightly accented voice asked.

Tuuya’s jaw dropped as they witnessed the first worm swarm now floating beside them. 

Translucent in their green suit, nearly intangible, Lleios’s angular face smiled at them with a grin almost identical to their own.

A ghost, or another hallucination? 

“Ozryel’s gone now, hm? And what a mess she’s left behind.” They said with a chuckle, then fixed Tuuya with a sharp jade gaze.

“Will you too abandon everyone you love? Leave them behind to deal with it all, like you did when you went off chasing Firebird?”

For once, Tuuya could not seem to find words. They all felt trapped in their throat. 

They couldn’t remember who that was. 

They felt like they should. But they couldn’t. 

Lleios wagged a slender gray finger at them. 

“Death is not a settling of scores, my dear. All the damage you’ve done would remain. I would know.” They gazed up at the stars, then down at Alternia. 

Then they looked their successor directly in the eyes. Tuuya didn’t know what that meant either. What scores? 

“I asked Rhomox to make something interesting of me. If there was one thing that man did right, it was you.”

Tuuya tried to laugh, but they were still too choked up. Them? Something right? Hysterical. 

Who was Rhomox, anyway? How had he known Lleios?

“What are you waiting for?” Said Lleios calmly. “The right punishment? The proper amount of suffering? What do those fix? None of the people who love you would enjoy seeing you in pain. Quite the opposite.”

Tuuya couldn’t remember who all those people were. Names started to turn fuzzy, to slip away. It was so tempting to slip away with them. 

No more pain.

Lleios sighed.

“You’ve got to try, despite - and because of - all the harm you’ve done. Will you waste the body I gave you? Yes; gave you. Willingly. I, Lleios the First, do not mind that I became Etuuya the Second. I’m rather proud of it.” 

The older undead put a hand to their successor’s shoulder as Tuuya stood stunned by this revelation.

Proud? Of them?

“Start by feeling guilty about one less thing. Little steps, hm? We are worms, after all. Not so fast, or powerful, or dangerous as the others. But always persistent.”

The second worm swarm crumpled, clinging to Lleios with a small squeak. They knew so little now, but they - they needed to know more - 

“I’m not staying, you daft thing.” Their predecessor said, amused, though they did gently put their arms around the younger drinker, hugging them for a moment. 

“You can. If you want to.”

They vanished, and the second worm swarm looked at the stars again, then back down at the planet.

All they knew for certain was that they had loved. 

They had loved over, and over, and over again, and they felt certain that they would always love, if they could do nothing else. 

Little steps, Lleios had said. 

Tuuya took one. 

–

Hours later, after the matriorb had been secured, the empire called and informed, and the surviving jades tended to, Rivali and Daudre warily deactivated the shield and stepped into the mother grub’s room.

Both of them looked sadly at the massive corpse waiting for them, bowing their heads in a silent moment of mourning.

Then they looked around the place, avoiding the laser-blasted spots and picking up any of Uunive’s knives they found, searching low and high for any trace of Tuuya.

They had almost given up when Rivali’s sharp eyes noticed shreds of the rainbowdrinker’s red clothing, then a tiny glimmer of white; a single worm curled up and lying still on a small rock nearby.

They rushed over, putting a pair of gloves on before they picked it up. Sure enough, it was Vannyn; a piece of them, anyway. 

They looked around. They couldn’t see any other worms, nor bones or any other remains. Only this one, which was so lethargic it didn’t even move in their hand.

“They need blood.” Said Rivali, looking at Daudre. “Blood and a place to reform.”

The other jade nodded, and they both left at a brisk pace.

Rivali carried the worm gently, attention split between the small invertebrate and watching where they were going.

“Thank goodness I found you.” They muttered to it. 

“Do you have any idea how much hassle it would have been to explain that you were dead? I’ve already had to deal with your family’s fretting. You never stop causing problems for me.”

The worm still did not move.

Rivali’s ears flicked.

“You had better perk up when we get you some food. I will be extremely irate otherwise.”

They walked a bit longer, finally making it to a room that hadn’t been destroyed, and appropriating an old ceramic laundry bin to put the worm in. 

“They might not make it if we don’t feed them now.” Daudre said quietly.

Rivali looked at the rocky ceiling.

“I want it stated for the record that I hate this.” They groused, but took out a knife and carefully shed some of their jade blood directly onto Tuuya, cut from their arm.

At first, there was no response. The komondor troll watched, agonizing seconds go by, as the worm still did not move…

…until nearly a minute later, with tiny, weak wriggles, its toothed mouth started sipping up the green liquid.

Rivali broke into a relieved smile, which they swiftly covered with a cough.

“Finally.” They said, avoiding Daudre’s amused eye.

“I’ll call their family.” Offered the other cavern troll. “You deserve a break. I’ll give them more blood, too.”

“Good.” Sniffed the lusus wrangler. “This is disgusting and I never want to do it again.”

Having said so, the dog troll stayed next to the basket as Daudre made the calls, and quietly shed a few more drops of blood into it.

The process was slow, slower than Rivali had ever seen from Tuuya before. It took them almost ten minutes just to make as many worms. They must have been damaged somehow in their final confrontation with Ozryel.

They still kept at it, segment by segment.

“Are you worried, is that it?” Muttered Rivali several minutes later, now watching the worms in between reading a book.

“You should be. Rhyssa is dead, but Inshii isn’t, they just withdrew for some reason. We don’t know where Gallen is, or if he’s alive…it’s a mess. We need you to deal with it. You can’t just escape responsibility.”

The worms kept building their brain, deaf and voiceless for the moment.

Daudre shed some more blood over them.

“They’re a funny thing, aren’t they?” The genet troll said conversationally. “Unique, scientifically speaking. It was interesting to study them, back when they were here.”

“Don’t say that to their family.” Warned Rivali. “They might think you want to imprison them again.”

Daudre laughed. “You did that, Riva.”

The dog troll looked delicately annoyed. 

“I’d do it again. Otherwise…I would have been trapped in this place for far longer.” They admitted quietly. “And Tuuya would have kept their jades captive for who knows how long.”

They looked down at the worms.

“They forced me to learn how to adapt.” Rivali admitted. “Insufferable creature.”

Daudre laughed softly. “You’re not going to say any of this to their face, are you?”

“Absolutely not. And give them the satisfaction?”

The scientist laughed, and so did the lusus wrangler. 

Hanhai’s jades slept and recovered. Rivali left to keep Uunive company. Daudre held Ashwat as she cried over the mother grub and laughed in relief to see her friend safe.

The sun set over Alternia after a very long day.

Tuuya kept rebuilding, more slowly than ever before, into a new version of themself.

Weakened. Damaged.

Sustained, now, by their own hope.

THE END OF

Life was so simple. They went out collecting, they came back and tended to their daughter. There was nothing else to worry about.

They sewed even if their hands seemed to resist the old motions, as if they were drawing their sewing machine through thick mud, patterns and stitches no longer lining up like they used to. New clothes would help their child feel better!

It was a pity her body was still solid flesh. She wasn’t truly free, and they ached for her. But she didn’t want to listen to their sympathy, and they had stopped giving it. 

Never mind. She’d come around, or they’d make her -

Make her -

A sharp bolt of pain shot through their head, and they put a hand to their skull.

They blinked, looking down at their other hand, dark gray and bony. Were their fingers supposed to be thin, their wrist bones pronounced under meager layers of worms? No, they’d always been small, right?

Being lean was good, it made them look like -

Look like -

They glanced in a mirror and saw a strange, angular face. They closed their eyes, the pain increasing again.

When they opened them, their constructs had assembled containers full of blood - high-tech things that chilled the liquid so it didn’t congeal into dry uselessness. The containers laid on the grass outside the hive.

A cool breeze tossed their wavy hair around, hair that was shorter now. When had they cut it? They couldn’t remember…they’d gotten forgetful, lately.

They looked at the blood, several different hues, but something held them back. They weren’t supposed to eat much. It wasn’t for them…it was for - family. Yes, family.

Family that wasn’t Uuni -

They screamed from pain, and this time, this time -

This time the drinker gasped as they woke up, surrounded up to their chest by massive green worms.

You struggle so, murmured a voice. You show such hate. You truly have forgotten me. 

The voice was heavy with sorrow.

The drinker tried to struggle, but the worms held them fast, slowly writhing around them. They couldn’t think. Nothing made sense. How had they gotten here?

Why was there no sky, instead only a rocky ceiling above them?

I haven’t seen the sky with my own eyes in four thousand sweeps, second worm.

Terrible loss. Mourning. Regret. 

Resentment. She looked bitterly at her children, who brought memories of the sky she could never see for herself, who felt the wind and moonlight of the surface with their own bodies instead of having to experience it through someone else.

The worm swarm shook their head. None of this meant anything. Pure nonsense. They hadn’t gotten a bad trip off some blood, had they? The last time they’d been high -

The last -

They blinked, and there were no worms, though they were in the cavern. There was only Ozryel, drinking quietly from the containers. Strange to see a creature so large hunched over them so, her long proboscis darting in and out of her vast mouth as her first pair of forelegs steadied her. She shook slightly, and her green eyes seemed almost…glazed. Bleary.

A small animal ran past their feet. How odd.

She looked at them without recognition.

Who are you? You are not the first worm.

They tilted their head.

They were…

Who were they, again?

“I don’t know.” They said, hesitant. “I’m…Uunive’s lusus?” 

Yes. They were Uunive’s lusus. Were they someone else’s too? They couldn’t remember. Where had they been, before? What was their name? They’d had more than one, hadn’t they? 

Too many questions. Their head hurt.

She drank more blood as they stood in silence, then shook her head, massive teeth stained multiple different colors before her proboscis curled around them, wiping them clean.

But there were still stains on her face, stains she couldn’t get to with how her legs were positioned. As they moved closer, glow brighter so they could see better, they saw the dried stains of many sweeps…centuries, maybe.

They saw scars. Deep, ridged scars in the carapace, rough and grayish jade in the off-white. They reached out a hand in concern, only to yelp and snatch it back as she snapped at them and missed by inches.

“I was only trying to help!” They squeaked. “Please - please don’t hurt me.”

I do not know you! Withdraw! You could be one of the ten, back to kill me!

“I don’t know who those are! I don’t remember anyone!” The worm swarm pleaded, bright green eyes wide as they raised their hands in surrender. “I don’t know anybody except you and Uunive, I swear, I promise.”

She paused.

Uunive?

“My daughter.” They said proudly. “My wonderful daughter, raised her myself from a grub! Oh, Anders will be so happy when I tell him how accomplished she is - “ They cut off, blinking. 

Anders…the name had come out of their mouth without even thinking about it.

They tried to focus on it, but any further scraps of memory scattered like dandelion seeds in a breeze. Had they made him up? Had they gotten Uunive’s egg themself? From where? Their cavern hadn’t had a mother grub in centuries…

No, that was silly, wasn’t it? They’d never been in another cavern except Ozryel’s. This was where they’d come from. Uunive must have come from here too.

Strange how they didn’t have a name, though. Maybe they didn’t need one? As long as they weren’t one of the ‘ten’, whoever those were.

Ozryel watched them, uncomprehending. 

Then her gaze sharpened, and their ears went back against their head. Somehow, that felt like trouble. Like they’d done something wrong.

She shifted, turning away from them, and their feelings lurched as they craved her approval, but then she beckoned them onward with a shaky gray side leg. Her long wings rustled against her sides, the feathers dull and ragged from long disuse. She smelled of dust and decay, a hint of putrid rot beneath it all.

“You haven’t seen the sky in so long…” They echoed, a vague memory finally surfacing. “Why? Why can’t you leave?”

Trolls. They shot me down once. They would finish me if they could. Unlike my children, I cannot change shape to hide. Not anymore.

The bitterness and grief tore through their mind, and they put a hand to their head. Oof.

“That’s why you need us, then.” They said in wonder, in comprehension. Some things began to fit together.

Us. Yes, they felt certain there was an ‘us’, even if they couldn’t recall the others.

She whipped her head around to snarl at them.

Don’t you gloat at me. You are merely a shadow of the first worm. If I could extract them from you, I would. 

Anger seared their thoughts, and they yelped. Ozryel paused, silent. Then she moved again.

Not knowing what else to do, they followed, ears still flattened. What had they done wrong? Why wouldn’t she tell them how to fix it?

Who was this first worm?

They hunched their shoulders and kept silent, not wanting to anger her further. After a minute or two of walking, they came upon…they weren’t sure what it was, actually.

Well, it was some sort of…hive? It was shaped like a beehive, big and carved from stone. Yet there were only a few scattered insects skittering about, centipedes and the like, and the cells were roughly the size of their head.

One of her arms extended slowly, carefully, to get out a very faded and threadbare green suit. Yet despite its woebegone state, it was of good make and had clearly been well maintained; their tailor’s eye knew the damage stemmed from age and frequent use, not carelessness.

Another went out to fetch a golden cane, scuffed but barely tarnished - they knew it must have a good deal of genuine gold in it. Worms of the same color spiraled around its length, except for the top. She laid these things on a rough stone table with surprising delicacy, its surface large enough for her to maneuver her limbs comfortably over it.

The last item she set down was a faded photograph, the glass over it cracked and the frame itself dull and worn. It had four trolls…were they trolls? Three sparked vague memories, and the fourth…

The fourth both was and wasn’t familiar.

The drinker was certain they’d never seen the angular face with spiky hair and a slightly mocking smile before. Yet it buzzed in their head as if they should know it, the knowledge fluttering just out of reach. Their ears flicked in frustration as they toyed with a strand of hair, chewing their lip slightly.

Ozryel watched them, then bowed her head, her great twisted horns dull orange-gray in their glow. Patches of lichen grew on them, trailing off into wisps of gray fungus.

You do not recall, do you. The wasp was right. The first worm is truly dead to us, and we do not even know why, after all this time.

I have seen memories of your former trollhood now, I accept you were telling the truth. It was the other one of your bloodline who had the worm…but they were mindless ones. My child would have never consented to be put in a flesh body that way. They would have fought. They would have eaten you. 

A vast, chittering sigh echoed from the wickedly sharp mandibles around the fanged mouth. It was a strangely weary, casual noise from so vast a creature. 

How, then, did my blood not kill you?

The worm swarm shook their head helplessly. They were getting a headache.

They closed their eyes only for a moment, but when they opened them again, someone else was there.

One of the faces from the photograph. A violet - no, a swarm. Butterfly. 

Too bad it wasn’t really a troll. Hunger gnawed at them, their insides writhing. 

They felt light - too light, in their body and their head. Un-anchored, drifting, as if they weren’t there at all. As if they were only watching themself stand there, clutching the table for support.

What are you doing here, butterfly? It isn’t your time to send blood.

Her tone was accusatory but not harsh as she loomed over the pair of them. Curiosity wove through her words as well. 

“We have a way to know the truth, mother. Right under our noses. We can access Lleios’s memory hives again.”

They looked directly at the worm swarm.

Lleios.

Lleios.

Yes, they knew that name.

They knew beyond a doubt it wasn’t theirs.

“I am not them!” They hissed. “I’ll never be them. I don’t know what you’ve done to me - why I can’t remember things - but I know I’m not Lleios.”

It was strangely comforting. This was something to start with, even if they couldn’t recall their own name. Something sure, something true.

Ozryel and the butterfly ignored their words, the butterfly picking them up with one hand by their neck. They struggled, but were far too small and weak to make any difference against the tall bulk and strong grip of the other swarm. After a few moments they went limp, exhausted even by that exertion.

The butterfly paused, then put them down again with surprising gentleness. The worm swarm wobbled as they stood, blinking. Their headache was worse, pounding in their skull.

“Mother. You haven’t been feeding them.”

They look better this way. More like the first worm.

“Don’t be impractical.” They said, a hint of irritation in their usually flat voice. “If they hibernate from starvation, then what will you do?”

Don’t you take that tone with me!

Ignoring her further protests and curses, the false seadweller took out a large canteen of blood from their sylladex and unscrewed the cap, offering it to the worm swarm.

They snatched it out of the other rainbow drinker’s hands and gulped it down before they even knew what they were doing. Tiny drops splattered on their clothes as their hands shook.

Inshii - yes, that was their name - raised an eyebrow, but took the chilled container back and put it away again. They desperately wished for another - for a dozen others - but they could tell from the other drinker’s unyielding expression this was all they were getting. They swallowed. At least they could stand on their own now.

“Come with me.” The butterfly said, and they followed, hating themself for being so meek, so obedient. 

But what else could they do? They were still quite weak, and it was better than being alone with Ozryel. They shivered at the thought.

They walked up, out of the vast cave into the rest of the cavern, skirting some fallen chunks of stone. Inshii looked at them with an unreadable expression, but kept moving. They passed murals, and Tuuya paused to look at a troll in one who seemed familiar, a canine lusus with ropelike fur by her side…but they couldn’t place her.

They passed another, depicting other, unknown swarms, and it tugged at something Ozryel had said.

“Inshii…who were the ten?”

The butterfly swarm stopped.

“Not now, Etuuya.” They muttered, before they kept moving. “Not when she might be listening.”

They nodded, mouth shut, but they couldn’t help smiling. Their name! They knew their name again. It was a bit of a mouthful, though. 

Tuuya, they thought. Tuuya sounded much friendlier. 

The two rainbow drinkers came to a beautifully carved stone case, several feet tall and across with mother-of-pearl and gold decorating its handles, swirling designs twining together almost like spirals…for some reason, it made Tuuya feel resentful. 

It was all so gaudy, too. It practically begged for attention.

“It’s very…bright.” They said, trying not to make their distaste too obvious as Inshii opened it to reveal…something. 

Spiderwebs? No, the white shapes were wrong for that, the structures more solid, with odd clusters in between the strands. 

The butterfly swarm snorted, their lips curling up slightly at the ends.

“My sibling didn’t have much in the way of taste.” They said dryly. “They were the youngest of us. Ozryel’s favorite. I am the oldest…not that it matters much, anymore.” 

They waited a few moments - for what, the worm swarm was unsure - then shook their head.

“Of course you won’t know how to work it. Still, if there was enough of Lleios in you to survive Ozryel’s blood, you can certainly manage this. Let a few of yourself out. Look back about two hundred and fifty sweeps. That’s when they died. See if you can tell who killed them and why.”

Hesitant, suddenly worried about what they’d see if they did this, Tuuya bit their lip. Yet they did let a few worms out of their hand, instinctively opened their small mouths to gently bite into the intricately woven white strands -

Back. Back so far the trees in the forest outside the cavern weren’t even saplings. Back so far they saw clothing that hadn’t been worn in over three thousand sweeps. 

Forward. They saw - Rhyssa, yes, that was her name, they saw Inshii, and Gallen - other swarms too, crab and flea and moth, several others -

They saw Ozryel, far more lively, her movements quick and darting despite her size. They saw her smile, spreading her feathered wings in a gesture of welcome to her children.

A rush of memories flooded past them, so many, so so many - they cried out, struggling, writhing, how could they do this? How could they find one point of time in this endless abyss of thoughts and feelings and recollections?

They felt a pressure, distantly. As if their shoulders were being covered with butterflies, wings slowly flapping and rustling. They breathed deeply. They could do this. They didn’t have a choice.

If they were honest, part of them wanted to know.

Slowly, they wiggled their way through the mass of information, searching for a time before they’d been hatched…but not too far back. Mere moments for Lleios, a decent chunk of life for them.

Sunlight. Beautiful green hills. 

A small hive with a jade microscopium symbol on the door.

Their breath caught.

Rhomox. Oh god, it was their ancestor, younger, with no gray in his hair, his horns shorter and with three spines like their own.

They were so shocked they withdrew, their perspective of the situation moving back, and thanked every divinity imaginable they did -

Because Lleios kissed him.

“Bleugh!” They said, jolting out of the memory in disgust, their worms recoiling and going back in their skin. “What - what the - what the HELL was that?!”

“What did you see?” Inshii asked. Their butterflies were no longer on Tuuya’s shoulders, a few flitting around the false violet’s troll body as their fins twitched.

“Your sibling KISSED my ancestor!” The worm swarm complained, hardly caring that they were being loud, arms curled around themself. Oh god. Horrible.

The other drinker looked slightly surprised, then shrugged.

“They were like that.” They deadpanned. “The amount of times I had to drag them away from bars before they tried to seduce half the trolls there…it was all a game to them. They were the only one of us like that. A side effect of their purpose, I suppose.”

Tuuya stared. What the hell did that mean? Was there an assigned job that turned you into a classless floozy? There was nothing wrong with sleeping around, but toying with people like that…how cruel and undignified.

Ozryel’s favorite child. Clearly the two had deserved each other.

“Go back in.” Said Inshii. “This is useful, but we need more information.”

The worm swarm folded their arms.

“If I have to see them kissing more, you are paying my therapy bills. Honestly, I’m just as shocked about Rhomox! The man never showed any interest in a single troll when I knew him, and I thought it was because he was too obsessed with his project.

Besides, he had all the appeal of rotten eggs. I’m disappointed in both of them, but on the other hand I suppose they were meant to be in their mutual horribleness.”

They paused.

“Oh god he WAS too obsessed with his project, oh god what - ”

“Go back in before you have a fit.” The false violet said, voice betraying a hint of impatience. 

Their mouth wobbled and stretched across their face, but they sighed, let themself back out again, and entered the memories where they left off.

This time they saw the two working together. Lleios offered their worms - offered? 

What? 

The first worm swarm had a wide, sharp smile on their face almost twin to Tuuya’s own (only lacking their buckteeth), handing themself over to the jadeblood willingly. They looked perfectly at ease, languid and confident as they laid back on a sofa in what they assumed was Rhomox’s hive.

He took them with a nod, and turned to a table full of scientific equipment they remembered from their youth. The surreal nature of it all made them dizzy.

Why? Why had Lleios done it? They’d always blamed Rhomox for his terrible, stupid idea…but it was this bastard’s fault too! How could they? Giving themself to a man like that? 

They flicked through other scenes - skipping past the intimate ones with disgust - but the two were just…a couple, even if a strange one. They went out together. Argued. Chased each other around their hives. Exchanged gifts.

Two sweeps. This had gone on for two whole sweeps.

Then…

A letter. Kaningård - the cavern Tuuya and Rhomox came from - threatened to cut off his funding. Despite everything, they wish they could have screamed a warning to the other drinker as they read it.

They knew all too well what that thoughtful, reserved look from their ancestor signified.

They slowed down the pace of the memories, all of them curled up and sluggish with dread, as it came to the inevitable conclusion.

Rhomox used some mist he sprayed to paralyze them. Lleios laid on the floor of their own hive, utterly still except for their mouth, yet…they weren’t angry. Their face only showed a sad sort of amusement. A kind of resignation in those ancient green eyes.

Their ancestor knelt down next to his partner. He stroked their face, their hair.

“I’m sorry.” He said, in a voice nearly empty of emotion, yet his brows knit together in the way they did when he was sincere, the rare times when he truly cared about what he was doing.

“I don’t have a choice. I need all of you, and I can’t risk you interfering. You could change your mind any time and choose to ruin me. I know how you feel about the caverns.”

“Ah, now why would I resent them so?” Murmured Lleios. “They sent me a way out.”

Rhomox paused, taking his hand back. His ears flicked in confusion as they continued.

“I’m tired, dear. Ozryel won’t let us go if we want to, did you know that? My siblings couldn’t have died any other way but by her own will. Maybe that’s what they really hoped for when they tried to kill her. Despite how I begged for their lives, perhaps they’re better off. I’m ready to see them again. This time I’ve spent with you…well, I do hope you don’t feel led on.” They said, cracking a half-hearted grin.

The jadeblood didn’t move. Lleios waited for a moment, then coughed.

“Rhomox…this only ends one way. Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet, now. Not a good look for you. Kill me like you mean it, you rotten robber baron. You know you want to. Get whatever glory you feel you were so cruelly denied by those stuffy old broads.”

Their expression turned smug.

“Besides, I am better than anything you could’ve come up with on your own.”

Hesitant, but resolute, their ancestor took out a syringe filled with a dangerous-looking cloudy liquid. Something in its gleam instinctively made Tuuya very, very afraid.

“Aah.” breathed the first worm swarm. “So you did succeed…I suspected so.” 

They shut their eyes.

“Good day, love.” They said sleepily. “Make something interesting of me.” 

The syringe went down.

“He killed them.” They said quietly. “Rhomox…he killed them, stripped their mind away and took their body for science, but they wanted to die. He…he regretted it. If he regretted it then why did he do it?!” 

They yelled the last two words, slamming a fist into the stone container, not caring that it hurt, that their bones cracked slightly. 

“Why am I nothing more than the corpse of his lover and the meddlings of his wretched experiments?! Why couldn’t he have been fucking normal, and none of this would’ve ever happened and I never would’ve had to exist at all!”

“Stop.” said Inshii firmly, pinning their limbs back with clouds of butterflies. “Stop, you’ll hurt yourself further.”

“I DON’T CARE!” screamed Tuuya, struggling, unable to get free. 

“I deserve it! I’ve always deserved it, ever since I was hatched! Ever since I was a little girl, I was sick in my mind! No wonder, when that wretch spawned me! I was nothing compared to him!”

Their pupils were the thinnest of slits as they heaved, their entire body writhing under their skin.

“And Lleios! What the fuck was wrong with them? Why did they want Rhomox of all people to kill them? Why did they actually seem to care about him? The rest of you couldn’t give the faintest hint of a da - ”

They stopped, rigid. 

A side effect of their purpose…

They stared directly into Inshii’s violet eyes.

“Ozryel made them that way.”

The butterfly swarm had the grace to meet their gaze and nod slowly.

“Ozryel made them that way to collect blood for her more easily, so they could get trolls to trust them. That’s why they were the youngest, the last one. It went wrong, didn’t it? Oh, it all went wrong, they cared about a troll so much they let him send them down to hell, and she lost her favorite.” They spat. 

Then they went limp, eyes wide.

“Ozryel made them that way, and that’s why…that’s why…”

Oh, no. No.

Tuuya tried to cover their face in their hands, and found the butterflies let them as they wept softly.

“That’s why I can care.”

They’d always wondered why they’d only been able to develop empathy after losing their trollhood. It had never made any sense…until now.

This time Inshii picked them up carried them in their arms, and the second worm was too spent to resist.

Tuuya’s consciousness slipped away, and they welcomed the release with relief.

—

They gasped and opened their eyes, surrounded by massive green worms again. This had happened before, hadn’t it?

Ozryel loomed over them in the distance, even more vast than usual as she bared her massive fangs. Her anger surged through them, crackling like lightning, but they hardly cared.

You! You killed Lleios!

“Wrong Vannyn.” They muttered, tired and out of it. “Lleios died sweeps before I ever hatched. I ate Rhomox, you know. You should be thanking me.”

Even that thought didn’t bring them any of its usual joy. 

Ozryel paused, then shifted, turning around in disgust.

I don’t want to see your face. You look just like him. Murderer. Manipulator. 

They barked a bitter laugh at that, trying to shift in the worms, but they were simply constricted tighter.

“Please. Lleios wanted to die, and given how you treat the others? I don’t blame them! Only smart choice they ever made, even if we got me out of it. Terrible end result, I agree, and Rhomox was a bastard, but you might as well get over it.”

Ozryel hissed, but didn’t move. The large worms grew still around them.

“You’re never getting them back, but you won’t kill me, will you? Even their shadow would be gone then. You can’t bear to let the last piece of them go, even if I wear his face - and let’s be honest, you also hate Rhomox because they chose him instead. Ooh, you can’t stand that, hm? Your favorite chose a troll over you.”

For some reason, while they felt satisfied after giving their little speech, an odd sort of yearning coursed through them as well. Why did their last words feel so meaningful? Large chunks of their memory were still missing, blank spots whose size they could only guess at.

Ozryel was silent for a minute. Then she laughed, a harsh crackling noise.

Do you know what happens when you choose trolls? I hid this from you, for your own sake.

They saw a silverblooded woman, ripped open, her organs full of worms that also writhed around her ribs and the remains of her throat. A whiteblooded man, his fins chewed off, his sockets empty and ragged from his eyes having been devoured. A fuchsia-maroon cusp, hardly recognizable from the loss of her face to a mass of worms, her limbs overflowing with them. 

Kamala. Channi. Jaskir. Their quadrants. Oh god, they had quadrants!

Uunive, dead to a bite - Klirro’s bite, how had they forgotten? How had they forgotten the DeVilles and Rhyssa? 

Ailene, rotting alone in the forest, abandoned, her little body even smaller in death. 

Tuuya sobbed. The big worms vanished, but all the rainbow drinker could do was curl into a ball, arms wrapped around themself on the rocky floor.

It was hopeless. What could they trust to be real? Had everything…had even Inshii’s presence, Lleios’s memories been a hallucination? They couldn’t be sure. They didn’t know what they’d lose next.

Maybe…maybe it was better if they simply surrendered. If it was true, if there was nothing left to fight for, maybe they were better off just collecting blood for her for the rest of their nights.

Ozryel shrieked in pain, and they looked up, so surprised their ears flicked directly upward.

“Choke on your own entrails, hag!” Yelled a high-pitched, childish voice from above them. 

Something - someone very small - kicked the creature directly in her oversize teeth. Ozryel writhed, despite how much bigger she was, her pincer-like mandibles snapping. She twisted away like she’d been burned, but the troll kicked her again, and again, biting and clawing at her, until she crumbled to small green worms…which then crumbled to dust, blowing away into nothingness.

Tuuya’s jaw dropped open.

What?

They blinked, and the small, thin child stood a few feet in front of them. She was no older than four sweeps, with a green and white striped bow in her wavy hair. She looked at them mockingly, with a smile that, while lacking long needle-sharp teeth, was otherwise the same it had always been. 

Tuuya’s breath caught.

“Cestoa?” 

The name was a whisper in their barely parted mouth as they extended a cautious hand to touch her own. Afraid yet reverent, their ears flicked in long-buried shame as they stared at her face. 

She slapped at their fingers with mild scorn, a disciplinary swat. They took their hand back, chastened, as she walked a little further away before looking back with an amused, frustrated expression.

“Of course, stupid.” Came the high-pitched wriggler’s voice, scornful and self-assured. 

“Haven’t forgotten what you looked like, huh? Old idiot. Just like him.” She remarked dismissively, spinning around as her gray dress twirled with her. 

The stone around them rippled with the motion of the fabric, the cavern walls swaying like trees in a breeze. Tuuya could barely speak. 

Here she was, their own child-self, yet they were lost for words.

“Yes, you are kind of pathetic.” She said casually, as if plucking the thought from their mind. The mossy cavern walls shook and crumbled slightly.

“What’s the point of being a monster if you’re going to be so lame, huh? You’ve basically given up.”

They bared their teeth.

“I’ve fought her as best I can. I’m exhausted and I barely can tell what’s real anymore! For all I know - for all I know Uunive is actually dead, and she’s been tricking me the whole time. For - for all I know she really has m-made me eat m-my q-quadrants and Ailene is gone too.” They said, voice shaky, breaking into a sob.

“Whine, whine, moan, complain.” Retorted the jade girl airily. 

“If they’re dead there’s nothing you can do for them. If they’re alive you need to get back to them, I guess.” She made a disgusted noise, and pointed a finger at them accusingly. 

“You’re so soppy. I don’t get it at all. You could do anything you want and you fuss over mutants instead.” 

They ignored her remarks. She was an uncaring child; she didn’t know anything of hate or pity. She wouldn’t see the point for a good while.

“Cestoa, where are we going? How did you get rid of Ozryel? Where did she go?”

They walked along for a minute and their younger self didn’t answer.

“I’m not really you.” She muttered, and by now Tuuya wasn’t surprised she could sense their thoughts. 

She was only some construct of their damaged mind anyway; they were, thankfully, still sane enough to recognize she couldn’t be real. 

“You wouldn’t exist without me…but I’m more like the slurry going into the mother grub that’ll make an egg, not the egg itself. Troll Tuuya wouldn’t be here. Troll Tuuya would never have done anything with a lime grub but rip her apart with their bare hands.”

They had to laugh a little at that, darkly and dryly. 

“I’m not all that different. I still love to be vicious when it suits me…I was more honest as a troll. At least I didn’t pretend I could be good.” They said sadly, ears drooping.

“Even if I can return to my quadrants…how do I look them in the eye now? After I let Ozryel use me? I won’t blame them if they leave me once I explain what happened.” Their voice had dropped to little more than a whisper.

Cestoa turned around again and pretended to gag, sticking her tongue out.

“Enough mushy crap, or I won’t help you. We can only get where we’re going if you stop being so wet.”

“Oh, you’re helping me? That’s news.” They muttered, then felt a pang of guilt.

Cestoa laughed.

Mockingly, but not harshly. It was a high-pitched bubble of slightly vindictive joy. 

Tuuya blinked. They’d always remembered their wrigglerhood laughter as creepy. Bitter. Off-putting, like the matrons had said. Unmannerly like their terrible smile and strange fascination with death and decay. More creature than child, they’d once overheard a jade say, and the others had agreed.

The jades must have been right, all of them, because look what they’d become. Better culled as a grub; Kaningård’s matrons would still be alive. 

Cestoa had stopped.

They were deep in the caverns now, standing in the dark passages where many lusii lived before taking charges. Except here there were only scattered bones. Chewed, but the marks were small, as if from tiny, sharp teeth…

Teeth like their worms’ own.

But…they didn’t attack caverns. So why…?

They felt a chill as they noticed all the skulls had the same horns, dull colors in the low light. They curved closely over the skulls’ backs, coming to a point, spines on the tops.

Vannyns.

Cestoa knelt down and picked up a yellowed skull, large and unwieldy in her small gray hands.

“You stopped the project from killing any more, Tuuya.” She said quietly. “You stopped the empire from having a weapon and a spy network. Rhomox won’t hurt anyone ever again…and neither will Lleios.”

“Our bloodline deserves death.” They said harshly. “It would be better if we’d all never existed.” Their clenched fists trembled by their sides. 

She looked up at them with bright green eyes, clear tears like the ones they had now leaking out, the color lost along with their blood.

“So what if you’re terrible?” She demanded. “You think you’re the only one? You’re not special, Tuuya! At least you have people who love you! Don’t you - don’t you dare tell me they shouldn’t. You can’t make anyone love you…and you can’t stop anyone from loving you, either. It sucks, not having control.” she said, sniffling. 

“Sucks not being able to tell people to leave so they don’t get hurt, because duh, they will, right? Sucks because you don’t have control over whether you get hurt…much as you wish you did. Monsters aren’t supposed to hurt, we thought. Monsters are immune. Shows what we knew, huh?”

Their breath caught in their throat. 

It didn’t matter if someone like them suffered. Did it? 

It was better if they did, it was right, it was completely deserved.

“Maybe.” Cestoa said quietly, putting the skull down. “But your quads don’t agree. Your kids don’t. Ailene…I bet even she misses you, the dummy. Even if it’s just ‘cause you protect her.”

The little girl walked onward, and the cavern sloped up sharply, yet they didn’t feel winded climbing it at all. Granted, of course this wasn’t real, so they shouldn’t…and they didn’t feel as hopeless as they had before. They were still weak and hungry, but the headaches had gone.

“I guess my suffering doesn’t actually help, does it.” They murmured. “Despite everything, there are trolls who don’t like to see me in pain. It’s not nice to them, I suppose…”

Cestoa didn’t speak, but the moss on the walls glowed more brightly. 

They walked some more, and the sun blazed down as they reached the surface. Tuuya sighed in relief from its hot rays, their insides wriggling contentedly. 

Then they saw…they saw Rivali in the distance. They saw Ozryel snapping at them, ducking, weaving with frightening speed, her wings spread as she tried to bite them in two.

“Yes, they’re actually here.” said Cestoa casually. “Inshii brought you back hive. I didn’t really make Ozryel go away for good, she’s using your body to fight them right now. You’re going to have to wake up, rip your own brain apart and kill her worms to get rid of her. Full regeneration. It’s the only way.”

Tuuya swallowed. They’d figured it would probably take a measure that severe.

They turned to look at her, their pupa-self. She looked up at them calmly, her lips twitching slightly in amusement.

The rainbow drinker knelt down and hugged her. The young jade stiffened, but after a few hesitant moments, she relaxed.

“I’m sorry no one loved you.” They whispered. “I’m sorry that I still have a hard time accepting it.” 

She huffed, but there were tears in her eyes again.

“You were just a child.” She said. “Remember that.”

She melted into worms, white worms that flowed back into their body, filling them with resolve. 

“You and me, Rivali. Just like old times.” Tuuya murmured, watching the jade continue to fight their wretched relation. They waited for their chance, eager, leaning forward.

How funny, that what they wanted most in the world was for their old captor to take them down.

“You can do it, jadepup.” They whispered. “You knock me out, then you and me and Uunive can have some tea. It’ll all be all right. You followed me before, didn’t you? Even if it was more out of spite than anything. Look at you now.”

Rivali’s blade slashed down to land a wicked, destructive blow on Ozryel’s neck.