#ozakif

HOLO 44.2.248://

TEXT READOUT

DISPLAY? Y/N

I'm getting real sick of the attitude of a lot of Jedi.  Just because me and mine aren't force sensitive doesn't mean we aren't worth a little bit of common decency.  We're more than just meat shields for their reindeer games, or targets to mind fuck when they get irritated.

And unfortunately, it's starting to feel like some of our allies in the Marran don't see it that way.  That just because we're not special snowflake force sensitive darlings, we don't deserve the basic respect that jedi practically demand just by their presence.

I'm getting really sick of people idly throwing around references to "mindkriffing" people like they're talking about picking up a cup of caf.  Getting really sick of patching up my boys in blue because they took a force blast to the chest and took to the air like a bird in an Alderaan spring, just to make some space for a jedi to run in and start swinging with their glowbat and get all the credit and glory.  

Sith bleed just as good from blaster fire as the next fucker, and I don't care how all powerful they are, one Sith can't deflect sustained fire from a dozen blasters at once.

And I know I ain't the only one who feels this way.

Bald nearly went to blows with Ihlrath on the Hyperion last night.  Because one of Ihlrath's people told Oz to go home... and Oz tried to walk out the airlock on their hangars.  Put that idea right in his head.  I might not like Oz - shit, that's the understatement of the year - but I've saved his ass enough to know how he bleeds. They tried to say it was "just a suggestion", but with everything Bald's going through, dealing with Red...

It was nasty.

And the thing is, I don't think any of the forcers get why he was so angry.  They don't - or refuse to - see the ramifications of being able to just look at someone and make them think "Oh, I should go" but not have any control over how they're going to do it.  To just idly affect someone's actions like that, to take away their control?  It makes them no better than Sith.  Absolutely no better than those fucks who screwed up Red's brain so badly.

And it didn't help that Bald and I were in a little tiff not thirty seconds before Oz came wandering by, brain all scrambled.  About Red.  Because I guess I don't know when to stop poking the bear when it comes to her.

And Nia's probably mad at me now, too.  I told her I was trying to track down where Dhen fucked off to when he transferred out.  I want to drag his ass back by that busted nose of his so Nia can properly kick it for treating her like shit.  For fucking off without even saying so much as goodbye.  I deserved a goodbye, and she deserved a whole lot more than a shitty letter.

"Teral here."

"Hey dad, it's Jerax."

"Hello son, how are you doing?"

"I've been better." "Still got your Sergeant on your mind?" Hendrik asked his son.

"No... well somewhat. We got him back." Jerax stated.

"That's great!" Hendrik exclaimed.

"Yeah, he looked beaten and bruised." Jerax informed his father.

"Yeah, the Sith aren't one for niceties. But if he's back, what is troubling you?"

"Vyen'a."

"What happened, son?"

"One of my privates. The one that I told you has been a nuisance since he was transfered her. Well he told Vyen'a that she's the reason that the unit has been having problems, because she is distracting me." Jerax explained.

"And you don't believe him?" Hendrik questioned.

"No, she isn't distracting me. In the field, I am focused on the mission."

"And on base?"

"Well, when we're back at the base, I do shift my focus to her, but she's my girlfriend, of course I would." Jerax stated.

"Anytime where you favored her over anyone else?" Hendrik inquired.

"Well-"

"Well what, son?"

"I mean, there might have been a couple of times. I mean, she got a little hot under the caller when... he got in her face."

"And who is he?"

"The obnoxious private."

"So he feels he's getting the shaft and Vyen'a is getting a pass?"

"I guess."

"Well then maybe he isn't so wrong. Son you need to be objective. She may be your girlfriend, but out in front of your men, you can't treat her as such. If she casues or is is part of scuffle, then you need to reprimand all parties. Then when in private can you treat her as your girl. Tell her it isn't her fault and tell her she was in the right." Hendrik told his son.

"Okay... if there is a next time."

"What happened between you two? You two get in a fight?"

"No, after the fight between her and the private, she got on a transport and left to heaven only knows where."

"She say she was leaving for good?"

"No, but... I just don't know. She basicly proposed to me earlier. It sounded jokingly, but I still said no."

"You explain to her why you said no?"

"No."

"Then you need to do the following things. When she comes back, because she will, tell her you are sorry. And mean it. Tell her you love her. Then you tell her why you said no. It better be a good reason. Right now she probably thinks that you're just stinging her along. You need to let her know you are in it for the long haul even though you aren't yet ready to give her a ring."

"You think she will?" Jerax asked unsure.

"Yes, Jerax, she will come back and you damn well better be the first person she sees. You do what I told you and these issues will not happen again."

"Okay. I'll do that. Thanks."

"You're welcome, now buck up. You need to be strong for your men and her."

"Okay, talk to you later, dad."

"Talk to you soon, son. Stay safe." Jerax's father said before the line clicked off.

HOLO 321.5.022://

!!!ALERT!!!

Visual Feed attached.  Commence playback?:  Y/N

*The loud roar of a transport ship filters through the speakers before the static stops, settling on a familiar face.  Her eyes, however, are bloodshot and puffy, her cheeks drawn, and her mouth in an unsettling frown.  She sniffs before opening her mouth, laughing sharply.  It's not a happy sound.*

I should be happy.  I should be fuckin' ecstatic.  Morgan's back.  They found him, and got him free.  Alive, too.  Pretty fucked up, but alive.  Last I saw him, he was floating in kolto on the fleet, Katalin practically hugging the tank to be near him.

*She grimaces, running her hand through her hair*

Fuckin' Ozakif had to start picking.  And picking.  And...

Fuck.  I hate it.  He's right.  That fuckin' busted chronometer was right on time for once.  The lieutenant pays more attention to me than he does the seventh.  That ain't good for anyone.  And yeah, maybe I am just a dumb fuckin' whore.  I sure as shit was before I met Jerax.  One or two nights and then just set them free.

*She swallows, voice cracking*

And so it shouldn't have fucking mattered when Jerax said no.  I shouldn't have had to play it off like a joke.  Like asking him to marry me was something I thought up on the fly to make him laugh on the way to that meeting.  It should have just been a joke.  Not real.

Not... 

*She wipes her eyes quickly, scowling*

Dhen-zaka found me bawling my damn eyes out like a kid on the way to the Nar Shaddaa shuttle. I took it instead of my ship, since the girls are living in my cargo bay still.  I don't even have my damn ship any more.  He's such a sweetheart.  Four months ago I would have fucked him just for fun, but now the idea of anyone else but Jerax in my bed makes my heart hurt.  He calmed me down and set me on my way with a hug.  

I'll buy him some whiskey when I get back.  Niatara doesn't know what she's missing out on if she lets him slip through her fingers.

*She sniffs and tilts her chin almost arrogantly*

So fuck it.  Fuck all of it.  I'm going off the grid for a few days.  Seedy bars and bottomless whiskeys and dancing with the spiceheads like I used to do.  Get my own head clear twenty levels down on Nar Shaddaa.

Find Vyen'a again.  Be who I'm supposed to be again.

And I'll come back and shit will be good.

Please, let it be better.

Well, last night was probably one of the lowest moments for the unit. Last night was an Op on Ilum. They had us drop in behind enemy lines to eliminate some AAA battery to allow some Jedi to do something. Whatever it was, was gruesome. They all came back covered in blood. They couldn't have done a better job if they soaked in a tub of blood. For our efforts, we lost two men and had three injured. All for some damned AAA battery on a planet no one gives a damn about. Hell, a planet I didn't know existed until we went there. This job was for Special Forces and not an infantry unit. Then they make us go and set detpacks on the damn thing. Just have us laze the target then the cruiser in orbit unleash an orbital strike.

Poor Vy, she was there. She helped save Morgan and Private Ozakif. She takes it hard, even though she doesn't let on or show it. She cares for them as if they were her brothers and sisters. She just holds it in, and it is taking a toll on her. Then Ozakif, the idiot, goes and insults her, then insults me. While he may not affect me, it is just words, it hurts her. And when she is suffering, he the goes and hurts her... he deserved that fist to the face. He's a kid, but he is so damn selfish. Vy took it hard. She thinks she was in the wrong, but I know her, she doesn't go to punches that easily. She was a nervous wreck and he pushed her.I talked with her afterwards, she was appologetic. I tried to tell her she had nothing to be sorry about. I don't think it really sunk in.