#oweee

You: Yessssss. Wanna meet in the hall at 8? 

Sevika: that works. i’ll see you in a little bit then. 

You: You gonna tell me our plans? 

Sevika: it’s a surprise

You: Right right…

Sevika: just wear something you feel sexy in. that’s all ya need to know.

You: 🫡

After sorting through the clothes you bought last week, you ended up slipping on a black maxi dress that had mesh material on the top portion of it. A slit ran down your right leg, letting the red heels you paired with it peek through. You adjusted yourself in the mirror, the mesh was dark enough to not show your whole chest, but just for safety you still had on some flesh colored pasties. 

Dangerous was the word you’d use. If you could fuck yourself, you would. You sprayed your hair with water, picking out your fro. The time read 7:58 once you finished dousing yourself in perfume. Nerves had you practicing your breathing while you headed towards your front door. Going out and being perceived still would have your stomach in knots sometimes. No matter how old you were, the nerdy shy gay in high school would sometimes peek through. A drink definitely was required later. 

After grabbing your purse, you opened the door to see Sevika standing there. Her hand raised, ready to knock. 

You tried to ignore how her eyes roamed over you, but you were doing the same to her. This was your first time seeing Sevika dressed up. And she looked good. She somehow matched you, with a red button up that showed her skin. A gold necklace you were tempted to grab hung between her boobs, and the black slacks she wore complimented her legs well. 

She let out a low whistle, her gap flashing you. “You clean up nice.” 

“Thank you. You don’t look bad.” You needed that drink right now.

“I feel so honored.” She offered her arm to you. “Ready to go?” 

“I’d be more ready if you told me where we’re going.” You looped your arm with hers, walking down the hall alongside her.

“You must plan everything huh?”

“Most things. I just like to be prepared is all.” 

“Just trust me. I’m a Philly native, so whatever I show you will be better than anything you see on the blogs.” 

You didn’t want to admit that you stumbled across some articles for hot places around Philly. Putting your hands into someone else wasn’t something you did often, but Sevika had been nothing but kind to you since you got here. 

“As long as there’s drinks.” You nudged her a bit, and she gave you a reassuring smile. 

The two of you approached her car and you reached your hand out to open the door, but her body moved quicker than yours. Opening it for you. Her eyes dared you to say anything, but you stepped into the car. 

“Watch your dress.” She kneeled to put the rest of your garment in the car, before closing the door behind you. It gave you a few seconds to get your thoughts together before she’d be right next to you. 

The drive was pleasantly silent, which you didn’t mind. You just basked in her scent that wafted over you. She changed her vanilla to something more earthy today. Traffic was packed like usual, but the further she drove the more the cars waned out. Seeing the city without the trouble of driving was a nice change. 

She pulled into a lot where you saw other people dressed up for whatever was happening in the red brick building. The crowd looked like you and Sevika, black and brown people coming alone or with someone. 

“We have arrived.” She pulled into a spot and got out of the car. Just for shit and giggles, you opened your door yourself, but didn’t step out. When she made it around her eyes furrowed. 

“I can open my own door.”

She brought her arm out again, you grabbed onto it as she closed your door. 

“Not when I’m around.” She tsked at you. “Now I gotta sprint to your door next time.” 

Next time? “Don’t do that in those nice shoes.” 

“Watch me.”

You giggled as she led you to the front door of the building. The person checking tickets let you in after Sevika showed her phone to them. An androgynous worker manned a table containing wristbands. 

“Blue for taken, Red for looking, and Purple for just friends.” 

You always heard about these social events online, but never signed up for one due to fear of going alone. 

“My friend and I will take red.” 

The worker attached the bands to your wrists, sending you on your way. The room you entered was decorated with balloons and hearts everywhere. A bar sat on the opposite side of the wall while the rest of the area was open space filled with places to sit and lounge. A dance floor sat in front of the dj booth, where a short haired dj spinned their tunes.  

“This place is huge.” You looked around in awe. This definitely was not on the blogs you glanced at. 

“It even has an upstairs smoking area upstairs.” 

The two of you sat down on an empty couch. Sevika turned to you. 

“What do you want to drink? I can get the first round.” 

“Anything fruity and a shot of tequila.” 

She walked off leaving you alone. Having her around made you feel less awkward, but now that you had to deal with the reality of the situation your nerves came back. Hopefully she’d be back soon. 

“Is this seat taken?” You looked up to see a pretty black fem point to the seat across from you. 

“No, go ahead.” You usually dated mascs, but you were open to all types. 

“I know your band says you're looking, but I just wanted to ask. Are you taken?” 

“Oh, no. Single as a pringle.” You hoped that wasn’t too corny. “What made you ask?”

“The masc you came with looked like your date.”

“Oh, she’s just a friend. We’re both looking.” So you weren’t delusional for thinking the two of you matched. 

The fem smiled. “That’s good to know.” 

The two of you talked for a minute, you learned her name was Haedan and she just recently moved to Philly too. You didn’t feel any type of sexual attraction but she still was fione as all hell. Maybe she’d be more of a prospect for Sevika. 

“Sorry for the wait, the line was a bit long.” Sevika sat your drinks in front of you. She turned to Haedan.

“And you are?” She flirted with ease. 

The energy changed once Sevika laid her eyes on her. No longer was Haedan looking at you, but practically drooled at the sight of your neighbor. Her coming over here asking about the band started to make more sense. 

You didn’t blame her, you’d hop on any opportunity to get Sevika’s number too.

Haedan pulled her hair back behind her ear, fluttering her eyes. 

You downed your shot as Haedan left Sevika her number, sauntering away. 

“Shit, I wanted to take a shot with you.” Sevika downed her shot glass in her hand.

“Too slow.” You teased.

She sat next to you, sipping at her beer.

“See anybody that’s your type?”

You scanned the area and there were a few. But the one you really wanted was pressed against you.

“That person by the dance floor looks cute.” 

The enby you were talking about had locs down to their back. They swayed on the floor with no one around, but it looked like they didn’t mind one bit.

“You should go talk to them.” 

“I should.” You stayed in your seat. 

“You need my help?” Sevika’s eyes were soft. 

“I just need to hype myself up for a second.” 

“You look good enough to eat, I’m sure you won’t have to do much talking.” 

You ignored how that comment made you feel. “I’m going, I’m going.” 

“I’ll be over here if you need anything.”

You gave her one last look before you got up. 

As you approached the dance floor, you looked for the band around the dreadhead’s wrist. It was purple to your disappointment. But you still headed their way, at least you could get some practice in. 

“Dancing all alone?”

The masc looked at you, their eyes briefly looked at your breasts before meeting your face. 

“Hopefully not anymore. The name’s Jax.” 

You gave a shy wave. “My name’s ~.”

“What brought you over here?”

You swayed to the music, and they followed your lead. “I saw you sitting here by your lonesome and wanted to solve that.” 

“That right?”

“I see you’re only looking for friends though.”

They looked back down to their wrist. “Well, friends and something special on the side hopefully.” 

Nothing too serious was just what you were looking for. Maybe this could be a successful hookup that didn’t end in you falling hard. 

“Tell me more.” 

The two of you danced for a bit as the crowd on the floor became thicker. Their hands found your waist and you leaned back against them. It felt nice to feel wanted and to be held. Some time during the night, you glanced to see if Sevika was still at the same spot. But the couch was empty. 

Jax spun you around. “Would it be too forward to ask you to come home with me?”

“Buy me a drink first, and I’ll think about it.” 

Jax left a kiss on your hand, before leaving for the bar. You danced by yourself, letting the words of the song overtake you. A familiar figure made you turn, as Sevika was dancing with Haedan from earlier. They pressed against each other like no one was there, Haedan’s ass grinding against Sevika. 

Your drunk brain provided imagery of it being your ass instead before you swiftly packed it away when Jax returned. At least this night wasn’t a total bust. 

“Hope you like it.” 

The drink they got you was a tad bit too sour for you. But you drank it anyway, not wanting to waste their money.

“It’s good.” 

The event continued on with you dancing five feet away from Sevika. The big windows showed the moon now, as the night ticked away. 

You talked with a few more people on the dance floor, but Jax stayed by your side. They were good company and told corny jokes all night, but you didn’t feel any type of romantic chemistry from them. Which wasn’t bad, since you didn’t need to get attached too easily. 

“I think I’m all pooped out now.” 

Jax sat with you as you gathered yourself on the couch. The drinks were all danced out and you had a good gay time. 

“Not too pooped for a night cap I hope?” 

You gave Jax a shy smile. “I could stay up for that.” 

You spotted Sevika leaving the dance floor, hand in hand with Haedan. “I just have to talk to my friend first, then we can go.” 

“Okay, don’t take too long.” 

You warmed at their eagerness. You waved at Sevika as you walked over, her attention snapped to you. 

“You need anything?’ 

“Oh, I’m good. Just wanted to let you know that I’m going home with someone.” 

Sevika looked behind you to see Jax eyeing her up. Not unfriendly, but cautious. 

“So, you don’t have to wait up.” You continued. 

“Are you sure?” She gazed at you. “You sober enough to go home with them?”

“I’m good, girl. Thanks for taking me out, it was fun.” You hugged her and waved the both of them goodbye. “I’ll text you when I get there, okay?” 

Sevika seemed to ease up. “Okay, just let me know.” 

You waved them goodbye and went back to Jax.

“All good?” They asked. The look in their eyes told you exactly what they wanted when you got to theirs. And you were excited too. 

“Let’s go.” 

_________

The sex was…okay. 

Which was fine. Totally fine. When you first got into their apartment that night, there was only a little bit of talking and nothing else after that. They moved across your body like they knew what you would want, but they didn’t even bother to pick your brain about it. You asked them to slow down a couple of times when they went down on you. But they didn’t follow instructions well. You eventually told them to stop, and they did. They even had the gall to ask you if you came, and you had to control yourself from yelling at the top of your lungs. 

You fingered them and they shouted into your shoulder while they came. But after that they fell asleep. Which left for an unfulfilled and lonesome night, sleeping next to them. Jax wasn’t looking for a passionate night but just someone to make them cum. And that was fine, but you wish you could have seen the fine print first. 

You didn’t even bother waking them up when morning came, and slipped out without notice, taking a Lyft alone and unsatisfied. Slipping back into your apartment brought you a sigh of relief. At least you were finally home and could run some water on your skin. So, you did just that. You tried not to feel used, while you wiped the night away. But it was hard. 

After you got out, you sat on the bed and texted Sevika. 

You: Made it back home. Thanks again for taking me out. 

You didn’t expect a response right away. You were sure she had a more enjoyable night then you had. To your surprise, your phone buzzed seconds later. 

Sevika: how was your night? i’m still a little hungover, lol

You: Not gonna lie. The sex was ass.

Sevika: Can I come over?

You: ? I mean it’s a bit early, but sure if you want. No pressure. 

A knock was on your door before you even sent it. You opened it to see Sevika, the most mad you’ve seen her. 

“Run that by me again. Can I come in?”

You let her in, and she walked in like it wasn’t her first time. Plopping herself on your sofa. You went to her. 

“The sex sucked Sevika. I didn’t even wait for them to wake up.”

“What the fuck were they even doing?” 

“They were tonguing me down like they were hungry. But it was so ass, just doing anything down there.” It felt relieving to tell someone about this. “She didn’t even ask me what I liked. It’s my fault too, I should have been more assertive.” 

“They still should have asked. Communication is a two way street.” 

“You’re right.” You pushed your face into your couch cushion. “I feel so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. You deserved a good fuck, not D minus cunnilingus” 

“That’s a big word for Elmo.” 

“Shut up.” Her finger came to her chin, making you face her. “What do you like?” 

“Huh?”

“Well that chump didn’t have the decency to ask. So, I’m asking. What do you like?” 

Did you want to divulge this incriminating information? 

“You go first.” 

“Seriously?” 

You zipped your lips and threw away the key. 

“Fine.” She couldn’t look at your eyes. “Have you ever heard of dacryphilia?”

You weren’t born yesterday, so the kink was familiar to you. 

“You know. That doesn’t surprise me.”

“Your turn.” She deflected.

“Don’t laugh.”

“You saying that will make me wanna laugh.”

“I’m not saying it.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. Continue.”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Now I won’t say I don’t mind giving. Love to give. But I am unfortunately…a pillow princess.”

Silence. 

“That’s it?”

“Thats it? I thought you were gonna give me shit for it.”

“I mean, if that’s what you are. It is what it is. No shame in it” She bit her lip. “I mean I’m no better.”

“What do you mean?” 

She mumbled something. 

“Sorry I didn’t hear you.” You asked.

“I’m a stone butch. So, I can understand where you’re coming from.”

You’ve always had partners that loved to be touched. And you loved doing it too. But your true desire in the bedroom was to give your all to someone you trusted fully. Surrendering to someone while experiencing all they had to give you. Past partners always said they would understand, but after a few months of dating they would grow tired of your preference. Which was understandable, but it did leave for a lot of insecurities during sex. 

“That’s actually why I don’t really date. My partners can’t handle it.” 

You let her continue. “But it’s not like I’m not enjoying my time. Or that I don’t think I deserve it or anything. I just find having control comforts me. And seeing my lover’s face after an orgasm brings me better joy than my own.”

“Very poetic.” 

Sevika laughed. “Have you had the same issues?”

“Yes, we’re definitely in the same boat.”

The air in the room seemed way more tense now. Sevika being this open with you was nice and you felt happy she was comfortable enough to share. The fact that you guys matched in other ways, didn’t help your infatuation with the enigma that was Sevika. 

“You just came over to see about me?” You leaned against the couch, staring at her. 

“Yes.” Sevika copied you. “Don’t let it go to your head though.” 

“How did it go with Haedan?”

“Who?” 

“The girl from last night?” You were sure Sevika would have had her sleeping in her room by now.

Sevika squinted her eyes, thinking. “Oh, I just ended up going home alone.” 

“Oh.”

A smile made it on your face. You tried to hide it, but failed. 

“Don’t look too happy. I might think you like me or something.” She said.