#overwriters

My friends, we are now living in a post-Thanksgiving world. That means it is now OFFICIALLY socially acceptable to play Christmas music!! I have never been more excited. Unfortunately, today’s post is not about writing Christmas music even though that would probably be more interesting. Today’s post is tips for all of you overwriters out there! I am a proud member of your ranks, and I’ve definitely been working on how to be more concise lately, in both my creative writing and the writing I do for school. Some people definitely think that having a high word count somehow correlates to the quality of your story but a boring, drawn out story is just as bad a short, rushed one. You have to find the sweet spot in between. So, here are a few tips that have helped me with overwriting!

But That’s My Favorite Scene

I wish I could say that I do not get emotionally attached to scenes that I really like, but that, dear reader, would be an incredibly blatant lie. I get very emotionally attached to my favorite scenes, especially those little scenes that come to me in the middle of the night or feature my two favorite side characters. Unfortunately, my favorite scenes are not always the most necessary scenes. When you’re going through a second or third draft, sometimes you have to recognize that your favorite scene is really not at all relevant to the plot. That’s what I personally think of when I hear the phrase: “kill your darlings.” To me, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to kill your favorite character. It means more that you need to delete or get rid of things that are not relevant to the story but you as an author really like. BUT, when we say delete, we never actually mean delete. Always keep a copy of every scene or chapter that you might delete from your manuscript. You never know when it may come in handy, or if it might bring you joy to reread it later!

Keeping It Concise

As someone who loves writing the longest sentences known to man, I am not known for my concision. A lot of times, concision is key in writing. Sometimes, this means tightening up your sentences, and other times this means getting rid of filler worlds. Filler words don’t add anything to your narrative, and often, sentences with them could also be tightened for clarity. Some common filler words are: really, very, just, began, started, sudden, stuff, thing, see, look, hear, wonder, feel, and think. If you see that word in a sentence, it’s normally a signal that the sentence can be rewritten using much more clear language to make an overall more concise and strong sentence. When you’re trying to make things more concise, I would look out for overly descriptive sentences. Obviously, we want a clear description of whatever is happening in your story, but one of my biggest issues with Sarah J. Maas’s writing (I know I always find a way to bring her up) is that she will use four adjectives to describe something, but all of those words mean the same thing. If I describe something as the crisp, frosty, cool, winter air, that tells you absolutely nothing. Those words pretty much mean the same thing. You could have said the crisp winter air for a much more clear and concise sentence that will also decrease your word count a little. 

The Death of Passive Voice

This reminds me of freshman year English class. I literally didn’t know what passive voice was until freshman year, but now I consider myself a little bit of an expert. Passive voice relates to the previous tip because most sentences using passive voice can be rewritten using stronger or more descriptive words. Here’s a little example. Princess Sarah was driven to the castle. Okay, that’s a fine sentence. It’s grammatically correct, but it leaves a little lacking. Who’s driving Princess Sarah, for example? Let’s rewrite the sentence. The Captain of the Guard drove Princess Sarah to the castle. Ooh, okay, that simple wording change gives us so much more description. We now know who is driving Princess Sarah to the castle which probably saves us some unnecessary words later. If you’re having trouble identifying passive voice, I always say that if you can add “by zombies” to the end of the sentence and have it make sense, then it’s normally passive voice. Princess Sarah was driven to the castle by zombies. Further confirmation, that that sentence is passive voice and needs a little rewriting! Also, most of the time, rewriting a sentence written in passive voice decreases the word count. The example I gave didn’t, but normally it does lol. 

Whipping Out That SAT Vocab

“ You were reckless. ”

It wasn’t a phrase she hadn’t already heard before. Especially in her new line of work. She had always been that way... Action before thought. It had saved her skin more times than she could recall. Never entirely unscathed but she was still alive and breathing.

Though this time... She had grazed death by mere centimeters.

“ I did my job. The other agents made it out- ”

“ That’s not the point! ” She visibly flinched from the booming voice so close to her ears. She had never heard Agent McCree raise his voice before... 

A hard, heavy sigh ghosted against against the exposed planes of her back before she could feel the calloused fingers of her senior officer continue to stitching up one of the fresh bullet wounds. A quiet hiss escape between her teeth.

“ Your life ain’t anymore or less important than someone else’s, got that? ”

She highly doubted that. Sure, she was sure The Elders back home would mourn the loss of a Hriènt brød. Pure Bloods were scarce as it was. There would be this whole grandiose event to grieve for someone that barely knew of except for what she was and who she descended from... The tiniest inkling of a thought popped up.

“ Would you... Would you all miss me? ” She could feel the Gunslingers hands freeze before resuming their care.

“ You got morbid real quick there, didn’chya? ” It wasn’t an answer but the weak prod at trying to lighten the mood was appreciated. Another sigh hit her skin.

“ O’ course we would. Yer one of us. ” She clenched her teeth to keep herself in check as the words hit her ears. “ But I’ll be damned to let death take you, even if it means I gotta shove all your stubborn organs back in and stitch you up again. ” That got a little chuckle from her that quickly turned into stammering ‘ow, ow, ow’.

“ Shit, laughing fuckin’ hurts. ” 

“ Serves you right. Maybe it’ll learn ya’ to quit rushin’ in like an idiot. ” She heard a ‘snip’ before the weight of the cowboy shifted from her back. 

She turned her head just enough to peer over her shoulder. Annillia knew she wouldn’t be able to see his handy work but she couldn’t help in still trying. It earned her another hiss before slumping back forward.

“ I feel sorry for the guy that inked you all up. By the time you retire, you’ll probably be nothin’ but messed up stitch wounds. ” The sudden flick of a finger at her opposite shoulder had her yelp before spinning around and swatting his hand. “ ‘Specially if you have me handlin’ it over Angela. ”

“ Just don’t tell him what I’m doing and everything will be peachy. ”

“ ... You honestly think you could keep my mouth shut? ”

“ ... I’ll buy you a whole nice new set of cigarillos. ”

“ Bribery? Secrecy? Why, Anni, I never knew you had it in ya’! ”

“ And I wonder just how I started becoming this way, Senior Officer McCree? ” 

“ Fuuu- Just call me ‘Jesse’, Anni. You make me sound like an old fart like Morrison. ” She’d bare the pain for the laugh that exploded from her mouth, doubling over while holding her side after witnessing the other scrub his hand down his face.

(Day second for @overwriters, continuation of the story. These time a word prompt, Memory. Once again, Fahéj x McCree)

From her place she could hear the muffled sound in the background, the exchange of words being sharp and quick, and though she was a bit curious and worried at the same time. A bit curiously she raised her pillow, seeing only the shoulder of person that stood in the doorway. The words were muffled and the talk ended quickly, with Jesse turning back to the bed, walking towards the bed to collect the clothes.

“Jesse? Is everything all right?” though Fahéj knew that it was pretty hard to read McCree but she knew that his attitude from the minute before just disappeared. She even lifted herself to look at him better, watching him getting dressed up in rather quick manner.

“Yeah cinnamon. Just get yourself up and make sure that you won’t be late for whatever important businesses you do in there” he ruffled her hair, lifting her clothes to place them all next to her. “See you in the evening” he moved closer to place a kiss on her forehead and walked out of the room, the door shutting right behind him.

The woman couldn’t wrap her head about this event, getting herself ready to work despite the pain in her head and still the effect of hangover feeling. What was something that put Jesse out of his usual cocky attitude? Probably nothing good, but right now it was too late to find him and ask, probably not like he would share it anyway.

“Fahéj!” someone behind her shouted and the woman flinched, her face turning into the hurtful manner.

“Please, Genji, a bit quieter” she sighed, raising her hands in the air in the defensive manner when the cyborg approached her.

“Have you seen McCree today?” he asked her, now in a more quiet manner, but she could sense the he was also stressed. That started to make her more worried and she turned quickly towards Genji, her face showing a concern.

“He already left, I am afraid. Had something happen?” she asked him, walking by his side as he headed towards the administration part of the building.

“They came with the news today, that some of the former Deadlock gang members are plotting for something very nasty. And…that they had an aid from someone who was in Blackwatch” Genji’s fist clenched like he would like to punch the person that brought these news as well as the one that who would be responsible for anything connected.

“ Go on, take it. ”

Taking was not something Annillia was uncommon with. But in this circumstance… It was foreign.

Just like the place she was in. 

This place was so brightly lit, shadows chased away from every corner of the room and it felt just too… Confining. The white walls and large meeting tablet between her and her ‘recruiter’ didn’t exactly make this feel all that welcoming, either.

But she supposed she shouldn’t feel like that. Annillia was here on business for herself. And her assuming that they should cater to her feelings was beyond silly. This was an organization that was for ‘the greater good’ and she was here to help be a part of it. Against her will or no. 

Once again, her tawny gaze was drawn back to the communicator ear piece that had been slid her way. Such a tiny thing… And yet, it frightened her all the same as if it were some gigantic explosive ready to go off in her face.

“ Just make sure to not lose it. ” The gruff voice of the Blackwatch Commander cut through her thoughts and had her sitting up in her chair once again. “ We need to keep you up on comms to let you know if another route is needed. Are we clear? ” 

“ Crystal, sir. ” Annillia knew enough than to try and sass a Commander of any kind… At least, too much. 

“ Good. Your first assignment is to learn the layout of this building and the surrounding area. Familiarize yourself and point out any escape routes. Report back in about… Fifteen minutes. ” She could hear the smirk in his voice but she followed it all the same. “ I expect a good twenty or so. ”

“ Of course, sir. ” She smirked before nabbing the comm, shoving it in her pocket and rushed out of the room. 

Fifteen minutes was plenty of time. She had already spotted a good ten on her way in, after all. Maybe… Just maybe… 

 (Super late day five for @overwriters. Properly tagged later)

“Don’t go there” Genji warned her, wanting now to spread a few ideas, probably with the main reason for her to not be allowed to take any action but Fahéj only shoot him the weird look.

“Of course, I am not a stupid person. After all, there is no reason for me to go there, starting from my skills, through my knowledge of the case and many other reasonable things. Of course it is a trap” she huffed, though it wasn’t hard to tell that this whole situation rose into the absurd. “What are you going to do now?” she asked, scratching her cheek.

“Probably we will try to contact him once again, but if not, we would send squadron to search for him. It’s hard to tell, everything will be settled in the next days or hours” the cyborg moved away from the table content he was checking. “Promise me you won’t be doing anything dumb” he shoot her the gaze and Fahéj shrugged her arms.

“What do you expect of me? To go on the vendetta all alone?” she sighed. To be honest she would like why this crazy situation was even existing, but it wasn’t thing that she could now go and threw away all the rules and regulations. It would be both stupid and dangerous.

“Ok then. I think we will see each other at the dinner, right?” he nodded, waving to her for goodbye while walking away, probably to get his part of job done. With no more issues around her she returned to her work, though she was wondering what could be done better. The work and her thoughts consumed her to the level that she didn’t notice that someone came closer to her until she heard an another voice calling her.

(For @overwriters day four, theme from sentence “It’s too late”. Also, I promise that when I would put this all together, it would make more sense. Just you wait!)

„Fuuuuuuck” Genji’s statement was more than an accurate at that moment. For what it would seem, it was the thing that they didn’t quite expected. Despite almost all of them were still quite confident that McCree would take care of himself pretty well, neither of them would be good with dealing with it.

“Can you say it to the Winston? I think I need to go. Drop by the workshop later, would you?” she squeezed his hand while handing him the pad, wanting to somehow lift him up. They both were now stressed, the shadow looming at you though you know everything should be all right. With a nod, Genji disappeared around the corner and after a while, Fahéj managed to move herself and go to finally take care of her work.

~

“Fahej!” a voice pulled her out of her thought and with surprise she blinked, stopping the swirling. Her gaze came above the clock and she almost spitted her drinks, seeing the hour. How did she not focused at her surroundings and time being? She didn’t focused at anything, just…worked? It seemed like Genji was calling her for what seemed to be a second or third time.

“Yeah? Sorry, I just took care of this” she tried to sound rather convincing while she turned around to look at him. “Any news?” she asked, whipping her hands as she stood up.

“It was too late to contact him. We tried to reach him through are agents, but they can’t locate him. Which is strange, because we exactly should know where he should be” he huffed, clearly irritated but a lot of calmer than earlier. “But here is the thing, we got the asking for the support from the mobile unit he used” Genji seemed to be half amused, half tired.