#outsiders week

ID: a contrapuntal poem where one side is labelled Randy and one side is labelled Ponyboy. The Randy side reads "is it my fault?/i'd like to think it isn't/maybe if i had told him no, this/will only make things worse/either way it doesn't matter/my friend is dead and/he's never coming back."

The Ponyboy side reads "maybe it is/true that there was no saving him/blood pooling on the ground/it haunts me when i try to sleep/at the end of the day/my friend is dead and/he's never coming back."

“Steve?” It’s a girl's voice and she sounds teary, like she’s been crying. 

“Who is this?” Steve asks, wiping at his eyes. He checks the clock above the stove, three in the morning. 

“Steve, it’s Susie.” Why in fresh hell would Two-Bit’s little sister be calling Steve’s aunt’s house at three in the morning? 

“Susie, what’s goin’ on?” The girl hitches a sob over the phone. “Come on now,” Steve says, trying to soothe but he didn’t really know how to handle this. He always felt out of his element when Evie cried, not that it happened all that much. Ace didn’t cry hardly ever, it’s probably why he was so bad at the comforting thing. 

“I’m… I’m sorry.” She chokes out and Steve softens a little bit. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“My mom isn’t home…” She trails off and Steve stands there waiting for her to get to the point. He was starting to get a little scared. Someone hadn’t broken into their house, right? “And Keith-” She cuts herself off to sob out of the receiver. 

“Suze, what happened? You gotta talk.”

“He must have drank too much and something’s wrong. I don’t know how to fix it.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Steve barks out, he can see shadows coming down the stairs from the corner of his eye. He hopes he didn’t wake up Eves. 

“He’s like… blue and he ain’t breathin’ right.” 

“Alright…” Steve says, wiping his eyes. Fucking Two-Bit, couldn’t keep a nose out of a bottle to save his own life. “Turn him on his side, I’m driving over right now.” 

“Okay, thanks.” Susie says, a small whimper escaping her lips. Steve hangs up and turns around to find Evie standing near the stairs, a tired but interested look on her face. 

“Everything okay? Anything I should know?” She asks and Steve swears he could fall more in love with her right then. 

“It’s Two-Bit. Susie said something's wrong with him. I’m guessing alcohol poisoning from what she told me. I’m goin’ over to help.” 

“I’ll come with you.” 

“You don’t need to.” Steve says, scrubbing a hand down his face tiredly. 

Evie gives him a dirty look. “You really wanna deal with a drunk off his ass Two-Bit and a crying little girl? Didn’t know you were goin’ soft Stevie.” 

He shoves her shoulder. “Fine, you come and you deal with Susie.” 

“Where you guys going?” A sleepy Ace is walking down the stairs, her little shorts twisted around her body. 

“Go back to sleep Ace.” 

“I ain’t goin’ back to sleep till you tell me what's goin’ on.” Steve sighed, Ace was as stubborn as they came, of course she wasn’t going to let this go. 

“Susie thinks that Two-Bit has alcohol poisoning so we’re heading over there to help her out.” Evie says. 

“I’m coming with you guys.” 

“Ace-”

“You’re gonna need help!” She argues. 

“Fine, whatever. Let’s get going now, I gotta put on some fuckin’ pants.” Steve brushes past her to go up the stairs. 

“I could do without the pants.” Evie snarks and Steve would snort out a laugh if he wasn’t worried about Two-Bit and Susie. What kind of older brother puts his little sister in a situation like that? Steve couldn’t imagine doing something like that to Ace. How could he knowingly put her in that kind of danger? 

Less than a minute later, they all pile into his old beater, Ace in the backseat. Evie put on some jeans and a T-shirt but Ace didn’t bother to change. Her short shorts hiding under an oversized T-shirt she definitely stole from him. 

“Don’t speed, those cops are always looking to bust cars like this one.” Ace says sleepily from the backseat. 

“Thanks captain fuckin’ obvious.” 

“He likes to go fast.” Ace reasoned. Evie pulled a cigarette out of her bra and lit up. Steve thought about taking the one she offered him but couldn’t. His hands weren’t shaking, he just didn’t get like that in times of crisis. 

“I’m gonna kill Two-Bit for this.” Steve says, one hand gripping the steering wheel while the other grips the shifter. “First of all, he can’t keep doing this to Suze and second of all, we lost them too. The selfish asshole.” 

“You better get this out now.” Evie states, taking a drag. “Susie ain’t gonna wanna hear it.” He nods, steeling his nerves as they turn into the driveway of the Matthews house. The living room light is on, despite the late hour. They all get out of the car, eerily quiet as they trance up the stairs and walk into the house. 

“C’mon Keith…” The girl is on the ground next to him muttering things that Steve can barely make out. He’s too busy staring at Two-Bit on the ground. Two-Bit is lying there motionless, a strange look on him. There is a puddle of vomit next to his head that Susie has obviously tried haphazardly to wipe up with a towel. At least Susie did what Steve told her to do. Two-Bit is lying on his side, mouth propped open even though his breathing looks erratic. 

Susie stands when she sees them, looking absolutely stricken. Her curls are frizzy and tears streak down her cheeks, her red eyes looking scared. “Hey… I’m sorry to bother-”

“How is he?” Steve interrupts, not looking to listen to all the guilty shit he knows the kid could pile on top of him. 

“Not good.” She says softly and Evie goes over to stand by her, an arm around her shoulder in almost a sisterly way. “He ain’t breathin’ right.” 

“Yeah, he don’t look good.” Steve says, never one to sugarcoat, even to his tear streaked kid sister. “Ace, let’s get him in the car, we’re goin’ to the hospital.” 

Susie’s head snaps up at that. “What? No, we can’t… Mom can’t…”

Evie softens, pulling the shaking kid into a hug. “I know but he needs more help than we can give him.” Susie mumbles something and Evie runs an arm across her back. 

“Ace,” Steve starts but Ace is already moving to lift Two-Bit up and into the car. Steve was glad the girls had bullied him into letting them come, not that he’d ever tell them that. They manage to get him in the car, laying him across two of the back seats so that Ace and Susie can still squeeze into the back seat. Susie is crying something awful and Ace throws an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her roughly in a way that Steve might have done if he wasn’t too busy driving the fucking car. It’s different with girls. Steve reminds himself. It was easier for girls to put their arms around each other and dry each other’s cheeks and kiss cheeks and under eyes. It was easier for them. It would have seemed out of place if Steve Randle was placing a kiss on Two-Bit’s kid sister’s head. 

“Darry didn’t answer…” He can hear through Susie’s soft sobs. “I tried there first ‘cause your aunt…” She trails off and Steve stiffens, imagining what would have happened if his aunt was home that night. She usually brought company home, that was when Steve stayed away, Ace too. 

“It’s fine,” Ace soothes. “She wasn’t here tonight. We got lucky.” Steve finds himself agreeing. He goes to switch the car gears and feels Evie’s hand on his. Evie was tougher than tough, rough around the edges, and sharp as a nail on her good days but sometimes, in moments like these, she grew soft enough to melt Steve Randle’s heart. Wasn’t Steve the same? He’d never gone soft in front of anyone, wouldn’t let anyone see him bleeding on the ground, but when Evie touched him, or carded her fingers through his hair, he couldn’t help but to melt just a little bit.

“I know,” Susie cries, sounding a bit hysterical. Steve supposed she had every right to be. “I just didn’t want to… but then he started shakin’... like really bad… Like I never seen him before…” 

“You call your momma?” 

“Her work didn’t answer.” Susie goes quiet, silent sobs wracking her body as she lies half in Ace’s lap. Ace cards a hand through her hair, sharing a look with Steve in the review mirror. Drive faster. 

They pull up to the hospital in record time, Evie already out of the car before it comes to a stop yelling at some emergency worker. She’s yelling things that Steve doesn’t catch. Things like alcohol poisoning and passed out and our friend. Steve can’t take it all in, he’s too busy throwing the car into park and pulling an unconscious horrible smelling Two-Bit out of the back seat. 

“Just…” He chokes to the doctors running to help. “Please help my friend.” 

“We’re going to do our best sir.” One of them reassures him as they load Two-Bit onto the gurney and take him back. 

“Well shit.” Evie says, watching them go. 

“Shit.” Steve agrees. Susie is still sobbing, hanging on to Ace like she’s the only thing keeping her tethered to the world. Evie goes on the other side, basically holding her up as they walk into the waiting room. They immediately take a seat, with no signs of moving for a while. 

“Sir?” Steve nearly jumps out of his skin, turning around to find a nurse with a clip board. “I’m assuming that its your friend that just came in, do you think you could fill out some of his information?” 

“Jesus,” Steve snaps. “You always interrogate people comin’ in after a medical emergency? You think she wants to hear that? Shit.” He motions to Susie, who’s still a sobbing mess. The girl has the gall to look scared for a second before steeling herself and asking him again. 

“I know that tensions are high-”

“Goddammit, I’ll take the clipboard, just leave us alone.” He takes it from her and she walks away. He piles into the chair next to the girls. Susie is still crying while Evie and Ace both say things that Steve can’t hear or think about right now. He’s too busy trying to recount everything he knows about Two-Bit Matthews- Keith Matthews, he corrects, scribbling out his previous writing. 

He doesn’t know a lot of it. Blood type, social security, fathers name. Those aren’t the kinds of things you know about your buddies. The kinds of things you know about your buddies are their worst fears, how they got that scar above their hip, how he might like to marry that one girl but she won’t let him because he keeps doing stupid stuff. He should be sitting here telling Two-Bit to marry Kathy and do right by her, not filling out the next of kin for his clothes if he dies in the hospital. 

Steve was going to be sick. 

He skims through the rest of the document, filling out what he can before handing it back to the front desk lady who was annoying earlier. He can’t bring himself to go back to the girls though, instead he wanders downstairs toward the cafeteria, hoping that maybe they’ll have something Susie would like. Maybe it might cheer her up or at least make her stop crying. 

He scans the shelves, knowing the actual hot food isn’t ready due to the fact that it’s three in the morning. Not thinking about the shortage in his wallet, he grabs some bubblegum for Ace, some lemonheads for Evie, a Pepsi for himself, and chocolate milk for Susie. Then thinking back, he grabs her a chocolate bar and some bit-o-honey, second guessing himself. He wasn’t around the kid enough to know what she liked to eat. Two-Bit never really brought her around to the Curtis house when they hung out. He knew that Ace hung around the Matthews house more than he did, so she would probably have known what Susie liked but Steve didn’t really like hanging around the Matthews house. It pulled at some phantom ache in his chest watching his Momma patter around in the kitchen or make dinner or something else stupid. As dumb as it was, he missed his Momma. 

The other half of it was the fact that he couldn’t stand seeing Two-Bit black out drunk for long. It bugged the shit out of him if he was being honest.

After paying the night attendant, he walks back up to the floor of the waiting room. Susie seems to have calmed down some, half laying on Ace as Evie runs a hand up and down her arm. Evie looked up at him, eyes softening when she saw what he was holding. 

“Hey Suze, you think you’re feelin’ up to a little chocolate milk?” Her tired eyes tracked the bundle of goodies in his arms and she managed a wan smile. 

“Sure.” She said softly, taking the bottle he hands her with shaking fingers. “Thanks.” Usually the kid was brimming over the top with questions for any members of her brother's gang. Steve can recall more than a handful of summer barbecues or holiday parties where she’d sit and talk her lips right off to whoever would listen. She wasn’t too scared of Dallas either, never having any reservations about asking him if he’d seen someone dead or what New York was like. Not that she’d be able to do that ever again. 

That hits Steve right in the chest. 

He should have known. He should have fucking known. But this was on Two-Bit because they all lost them too. Sure Ponyboy was having a rough go of it and Soda was exhausted trying to keep his brothers from fighting and maybe Ace had cried herself to sleep on more than a couple nights on that dirty mattress in the hallway when she thought Steve and Evie were fooling around but they weren’t jumping head first into a bottle. Especially not when they had little siblings they were supposed to be looking out for. Two-Bit was selfish for that and Steve didn’t know if he was going to forgive him quite yet. Susie probably would, lord knows that kid had a good heart and Two-Bit had broken it more than a couple times now with his drinking but she always let him back in. Steve didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing either. 

Susie finishes, putting the empty bottle down and laying her head back down on Ace’s shoulder. Ace mumbles something and pushes her hair back from her forehead. Steve can’t remember the last time he ever saw Ace be that soft with someone. He loved his sister more than anything in the world, but she operated more like a boy sometimes. The way that she ran rough with the guys on their side of town and tried to be tough just to keep herself from getting hurt. It was good that she had Susie and Evie too. 

Susie falls asleep pretty quickly after that and Evie does the same thing, her head falling on Steve’s shoulder. “She okay?” He murmurs into her hair. 

“Course not.” 

“I’m gonna kill him for doin’ that to her.” 

“She didn’t deserve that.” Evie agrees. “She’s a good kid but it’s obvious that she’s pretty much on her own in that house. Momma’s too busy and Two-Bit cares too much about a bottle to make her a priority.” It did something to Steve to hear Evie talk like that. With a fiery edge in her tone that made her sound like she was going into battle. She cared about things… so much and more than that, she wore it on her sleeve. Steve got jealous of it sometimes. He knew he could be brash, downright mean, and cockier than any son of a bitch but he’d worked hard not to let anyone know what he was thinking. Evie was usually the exception. 

Steve doesn’t know how long they sit like that. Susie curled up into Ace and Evie into him. All he can do to not punch a wall is mess with the stud collar on Evie’s jacket anyway. She doesn’t say anything else, just drinks Pepsi and messes with the cigarette carton in her pocket. 

Open… close… open… close… open… close-

“Family of Keith Matthews?” The same nurse from before calls them over. None of them jump up. Steve is honestly not excited at all to see this loser. Ace gently shakes Susie awake who rubs her eyes, looking just like the little kid that Steve had first met her as. 

“They’re gonna let us see your brother.” Ace says softly and Susie nods, her eyes filling again. Ace hooks an arm around her shoulder, gripping her tighter and Steve wishes he could do something. He wants to offer his services somewhere.

“You okay?” Evie asks her softly and Susie nods as they follow the nurse down the hall. Right before they turn into the room, the nurse turns around. 

“He sustained alcohol poisoning, we were able to push liquids through and it looks like he’s going to be okay. Mr. Matthews is sleeping right now, it might be a little bit before he wakes up. Let me or any of the other nurses know if you need something.” She opens the door, letting them through before promptly walking back to the waiting room. 

“Suze?” Steve asks, unsure of what he can do to help. “You okay? You want me to yell at him or something?” 

She grins wanly before her smile drops. “I just want him to be okay.” She says, barely a whisper before entering the hospital room. 

He doesn’t look good to say the least. He looks pale and his curls are matted down to the side of his face with sweat. He’s connected to a couple different machines but the most notable is the IV pole obviously trying to flush out the last of the alcohol. Susie lets out a whimper before all but collapsing in the chair next to him. 

Ace turns around, her face looking stricken. “I’m gonna see if I can get ahold of their Momma.” She chokes out before promptly leaving the room. 

“Suze?” Evie asks, sitting next to the girl and throwing an arm around her. Susie can only nod and look on at her brother. “Anything you want us to do?” 

“Can you make him stop drinking?” She manages to get out a small huff of a laugh but it falls short. 

“You’re a good sister Susie, you don’t deserve any of this, okay?” It’s strange to see Evie soft but Steve can’t say he’s opposed. He’s only ever seen the soft side of Evie in the musings between sleep and wakefulness or when she’s had too much to drink. It was a good look on her, he only wished that she’d look that way more often. 

Susie doesn’t say anything else. Just sits like a stone holding vigil at her brother's bedside. She mumbles something every once in a while but otherwise doesn’t move. Steve steps outside for some air to find Ace on the phone. She’s using her hand to talk, something that Steve has always thought was funny. Not that he’s thinking any of those things now as he watches her. She hangs up the phone and takes a minute before turning around. 

“She pick up?” 

“Not her, a co-worker said they’d let her know.” Ace wrapped her arms around herself, not turning to go back in the room. “She’s gonna be wrecked.” 

“Everyones wrecked.” Steve bites. “Maybe if Two-Bit weren’t such a selfish asshole then he coulda just watched his sister like he was supposed to.” 

“I just wish…” Ace sighs. “Why’d he have to go and do that? He’s got Susie, his momma, us…” 

“Because he’s a selfish asshole. Cares about drinking more than his own family.” 

“I don’t see how we can fix it.” 

“We don’t.” Steve says, feeling exhausted. “I don’t know about you but I ain’t babying him over this. I’m not gonna sit around here and wait for him to wake up. I think I might strangle him in that hospital bed if I did that. Soon as his Momma gets here, me and Evie are leaving.” Ace doesn’t say anything, just nods dejectedly. “You look tired, you should come back home with us.” 

“I don’t know. I’ll see how Two-Bit’s Momma is and maybe I’ll stay and help her.” Steve nods, Ace was one of the most stubborn people he knew. If she didn’t want to go, she wasn’t going to. They walk back to the room, Susie asleep with her head on the bed. Evie has a hand on her back, looking half asleep herself. She shook herself awake as soon as she saw them come in. 

“Steve?” He knew he looked angry. Every time he looked at Two-Bit with that stupid IV in his arm and the tube under his nose he just felt this overwhelming urge to beat him senseless all over again. He was seeing red and he could tell that Evie knew. “Steve, you okay?” 

“Yeah, I just-” He cut himself off as Susie made a move to wake up. Ace and Evie switched spots, Evie grabbing on his hand and asking him again what was wrong. “I’m fine, I just want to go.” He said quietly. Evie nodded and bent down to say something to Susie and Ace. Ace grinned and shoved her shoulder while Susie said something sound close to thank you. 

Then they left. Evie might come off as tough and unreadable but she could be so soft when it came to certain things. 

“I could kill him.” Steve admitted quietly, as he pushed the car into drive. “Just seeing what he did to Susie and the rest of ‘em… I could kill him for doing that.”

“It’s a good thing we left then.” 

“Yeah, I coulda strangled him in that hospital bed if Susie wasn’t there.” Evie nodded. “I really could have.” 

“I know.” 

“It’s gotta get better, right?” He hit the steering wheel. “Right?”