#outsideborn

❝  I'm  trapped  in  my  own  mind.  I’m  falling  behind.    ❞  Walking  with  her  sister  arm  around  her  waist  as  Vas  helped  carry  her  home  from  yet  another  job.  She  had  shorted  out  essentially.  Hadn't  had  to  have  a  Johnny  save  in  awhile  but  that  back  there  it  was  bad.  V  was  lucky  she  didn't  just  keel  over  and  Johnny  kept  control  the  whole  time.  Vas  practically  had  to  drag  her  out  after  the  fight  ended.  Looking  down  at  her  feet  as  the  pair  stumbled  together  blood  dripped  onto  the  sidewalk  from  her  nose.  A  tragic  laugh  falls  out  of  her  mouth  as  she  forces  herself  and  her  sister  to  stop.  A  sad  smile  falling  onto  her  faces  as  she  looks  at  her,  taking  in  carefully  the  features  of  her.  Almost  like  a  goodbye  before  the  real  one,  before  Rey  was  gone  forever.  As  much  as  she  said  she  would  be  fine,  as  much  as  she  was  pushing  off  the  thoughts  of  death  for  her  sister,  for  the  singular  family  she  had  she  knew  how  this  would  end.      ❝Clinging  to  the  walls.  Vision  starts  to  blur.  This  world  is  such  a  curse.❞    

@outsideborn​​ sent: “ i’ll try to shine forever . ”

❝It's  not  about  shining  bright,  or  forever  Vas.  ❞            She's  on  her  bed  toliet  paper  held  to  her  nose  nursing  a  bloody.  nose  as  Johnny  sits  beside  her  sister.  Both  look  concerned  and  the  honest  truth  was  she  had  gone  down  hard  in  the  middle  of  the  last  contract  they  took  and  it  was  sudden.  Johnny  had  to  take  over  for  a  decent  amount  of  time  just  to  make  sure  V  didn't  die.  Her  side  full  of  stitches  and  new  cyberwear  perks  of  Vik  offering  to  fix  her  up  once  again.  Bullets  were  bitches,  ironic  considering  the  necklace  she  wore  now.  Standing  she  places  a  hand  shaking  hand  on  her  sisters  shoulder  and  squeezes  it.  

It  didn't  matter  if  you  live  bright  or  you  live  long,  Jackie  being  an  example  of  the  former  and  Ro  one  of  the  latter.  What  mattered  was  what  you  did  while  you  were  alive  for  yourself.  Something  Rey  was  coming  to  understand,  the  craving  from  a  family,  for  love  was  real.  For  a  relationship,  a  romantic  one,  not  to  say  Vas  wasn't  family  but  V  really  just  wanted  that  settled  lifestyle  and  chance  to  give  a  kid  or  two  what  she  never  had.  But,  she  couldn't  at  the  end  of  the  day  V  knew  when  this  was  all  said  and  done  even  if  they  got  Johnny  out  of  her  head  she  would  only  have  a  short  amount  of  time  to  live.  Which  is  why  she  was  talking  to  her  sister  today.  ❝We  gotta  square  shit  away,  if  I  live  or  die  we  still  gotta  have  shit  set  up  for  you.  I  don't  have  shit  Vas,  I  have  you  that's  it.  You  and  Bingus.  ❞  Hand  motioning  to  her  cat  curled  up  in  his  bed  fast  asleep  before  she  looked  to  the  other  girl  again.  A  twinge  of  pain  at  the  thought,  she  was  leaving  behind  the  two  things  she  loved  the  most  and  it  hurt.  No  amount  of  prepping  really  made  you  ready  to  say  goodbye.  Another  thing  she  was  learning  and  that  she  didn't  want  to  learn.  ❝Plus  we  gotta  finish  up  shit  with  Mama  Welles  and  Jackie's  shit,  and  Misty.  Ya  wanna  talk  about  leavin'  a  mark,  well  shit  ain't  gonna  matter  in  twenty  or  fourty  years.  I  am  gonna  be  in  the  dirt  and  you're  gonna  be  kickin  it.  The  only  thing  that  matters  Vas  is  shining  bright  for  ya  self  and  doin'  what  ya  want.  Don't  do  what  I  am,  or  have.  Alright'  actually  live  for  ya  self.  ❞  

❛  the  problem  is  these  would-be  rockerboys,  were a always  so  depressingly  short-sighted.  they  look  at  a  singular  head  and  forget  it’s  a  hydra.  ❜

@outsideborn​ sent: ∞

( msg; sissy ) i don’t think he would be mad ( msg; sissy ) johnny doesn’t either. ( msg; sissy ) that wsa abt jackie idk, sorry i woke up bc of therelic malfunctioning and johnny and i started talking

The day is bleak. It’s appropriate, considering the occasion. Rain hits the roof in a faint pitter-patter that nearly blends in with the ringing in Laura’s ears.

The bar is filled to the brim with people, each there to pay their respects. Most are men of the street - Valentinos, the ripperdoc she is vaguely acquainted with, a few others that she cannot place - and near all are dressed down in appropriate attire. 

Slowly, the ofrenda is filled, object by object added to the small table, surrounding the smiling face of Jaquito Welles. When it’s her turn, Laura brings forth a small book. She gives no speech explaining her choice, no words for those who mourn with her. Only the book, followed by the press of two fingers first to her lips, then to the dark cover. 

She stays to mingle for a time, sipping soda water from a glass, exchanging soft condolences to his grieving mother and to speak with a few of the others, learning more about the Jackie that they knew. Until, finally, she is alone at his ofrenda once more. No onlooking eyes, just her and Jackie.

“I just don’t understand how this could happen...” The words are murmured more to herself than the man who can no longer hear her, yet a moment later, a reply comes. 

@outsideborn sent: ➳ for an apologetic text

[to: V, sent: 3:12pm] if there’s smth i can do just tell me 

[to: V, sent: 3:13pm] i wish i could be of more help 

[to: V, sent: 3:34pm] don’t forget about the pills 

 Hands  raise  as  the  other  speaks  about  the  band,  about  Johnny.  Surprisingly  knowledgeable  especially  about  the  affairs  of  one  Johnny  Silverhand  and  his  thoughts.  A  chuckle  as  V  went  on  as  she  cast  a  glance  towards  Nancy  who  was  chasing  Kerry  who  had  left  probably  ten  minutes  ago.  Supposed  to  spend  a  bit  more  time  together  as  a  group,  reconnect  and  what  not  but  it  appeared  he  had  other  plans.  Denny  didn’t  mind  though,  for  once,  letting  it  slip  away.  She  liked  V,  she  was  interesting  but  something  felt  off,  Denny  wasn’t  going  to  question  it  after  all  it  was  her  call  that  let  Denny  play  tonight.  ❝    Now  you  tell  me  V,  where’d  you  learn  to  play  like  him?  Ain’t  seen  someone  shred  like  that  since  way  back.    ❞