My Beef With #AA.
I chair a very small #aameeting every Tuesday night at 8pm. I love #chairing this meeting because many of the people who attend it are folks who wouldn’t normally come to the larger meetings, are afraid of sharing in large groups, or in some cases are indigent and can’t make it to meetings other than the ones close to their homes. It is a closed meeting, meaning that visitors cannot attend, only people who (at minimum) think they have a problem with alcohol. Since the beginning of my recovery journey in 2009, at AA meetings I have long self-identified as an “alcoholic and addict.” It is so I remind myself that as an alcoholic, I abused drugs other than alcohol, and that those substances would always lead me back to my primary drug of choice, alcohol. I did so at this meeting. After the readings, I always introduce a topic for discussion, and last night’s happened to be the following from the “Daily Reflection”: "I WAS AN EXCEPTION" He [Bill W.] said to me, gently and simply, "Do you think that you are one of us?" — ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 413 (Third Edition) During my drinking life I was convinced I was an exception. I thought I was beyond petty requirements and had the right to be excused. I never realized that the dark counterbalance of my attitude was the constant feeling that I did not "belong." At first, in A.A., I identified with others only as an alcoholic. What a wonderful awakening for me it has been to realize that, if human beings were doing the best they could, then so was I! All of the pains, confusions and joys they feel are not exceptional, but part of my life, just as much as anybody’s.” Following that, I always say, "If anyone has had trouble staying away from a drink or a drug today, that takes priority." A gentleman in my meeting shared that his doctors had been adjusting his medication for his "outside issues" (which I think is one of the most misconstrued phrases in AA, especially if they are mental health issues that will lead you to a drink) and that he was feeling very anxious and afraid. This is a prime example of the hand of AA needing to be there. THIS moment. I read the following from the Big Book, page 133: "Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinkÂing and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are conÂvinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerÂful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation. But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitionÂers of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward." Straight from the Big Book. Not to worry, I wanted to tell my friend in the meeting, the founders of AA knew what they were doing. Later in the meeting, an “old timer” who occasionally shows his face decided to chime in on “qualifying” yourself as an alcoholic (rather than also as an addict) - and why I was wrong to talk about "outside issues" (such as health matters - which can directly or indirectly effect your alcoholism). Even though I read straight from the Big Book. Straight from the horse’s mouth. He sounded like he was simply regurgitating someone else’s dogmatic AA banter. I believe in my particular AA chapter, there is a group of white, middle-aged (I am, technically, middle-aged), southern men who want to turn AA into their own little version of the Southern Baptist Convention. No talk of drugs (because, you know, alcohol isn’t a drug), of sexuality, of race. Just turn the clock back to the 1950s - even 1950s medicine. And no one, not one person, spoke about the main topic. Where does the insecurity over “qualifying” stem from? Why in jeebus’s name are we so intent on alienating those who come to a meeting - scared, sad, hopeless, needing help - over our petty definitions of our illness? Are our recoveries built on such a fragile foundation that we must negate someone else’s idea of recovery to pad our own? Even if the Big Book itself directly contradicts your argument?
