#outofteasing

I want to personally apologize to this boy right here because i don't feel like I can do anything right now like I'm wanting to interact with new people or do new interactions with my friends I already have but I also... have such a wierdly negative brainspace that makes even the two drafts I did today a chore and I honestly want to feel more creative in this space and in other spaces as well but that's another beast to conquer...

But it seems like this week especially, it's been a battle to simply place myself in a space that doesn't seem like I'm just a lost 5 year old who forgot how to social cues.

Wow my mood is dropping the closer I get home... I really want to write but also I don't know what to do so...I'm ask sorry I feel like all I do is gripe lately but thanks for being here.

My mood is doing a rollercoaster, and those who are in my twitch discord know why but for everyone else....

So yesterday Cherry started acting really funny, and it turned out she was injured pretty bad. Nothing is definitive but it's got owl written all over it. The vet said there was nothing else wrong, no infection, so it's just a matter of treating the wound. She was really groggy and shy yesterday after the vet (they had to put her under anesthesia) but eventually she was alright enough to let me pet and headbutt her...

Today she's hiding in the room where I do tarot laying next to one of my little altar cloths and she's grooming herself and she even gave me a little kitty kiss on my hand and was being bratty and demanding pets but I'm... it was hard to wake up today and hard to concentrate when I see the wound on her shoulder and know that she was in so much pain yesterday and is just... laying so low. It's been hard not to cry thinking about it but I'm just so fucking thankful that nothing else happened and that she's still here... but I also have things to do I have work and I'm making progress and it really is just me trying my best to be chill.

I feel like I'm the only one ready to fall apart at any moment over it and I'm trying not to let it show.