#outofhost

NO

Stop hurting me aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

While I feel maybe some of you felt like this might come, I only seriously considered it a few days ago. I’ve come to a decision, and it is that I’ve reached a point that, for all I enjoy the idea behind tumblr rp, I just don’t find anymore the satisfaction I had before. All that I find curious to explore, I can’t find anymore a joy in trying to explore it by rp, and I easily find joy by self indulging in fanfics when the ideas I get call for me to do so.

RP has been a eight eyes page of my life, and I had times where I felt I might close it, but it was always the specific muse that I ended up not finding joy anymore. I was always able to find a new muse. But what’s happened now is that I have lost the satisfaction in the very settings of tumblr rp, and of writing those rps. For all I’ll still find the plots interesting, and I would wish to write, there is no actual calling anymore.

I came to realize there is a lot to a tumblr blog that ended up weighing on me. You maintain your blog, your pages, you feel a need to be somewhat active, for all you might keep yourself to a few partners or threads, you’ll still see, feel there’s more people, you see your dash... Before, I had no trouble with this, and I took joy in sharing, in the public aspect of tumblr rp. That’s exactly what I’m not enjoying anymore, and whether it caused it or it’s another thing that happened to me, I don’t really feel a want to rp anymore. There’s very, very few plots I am still willing to keep, and develop privately where there’s none of the expectations of a blog, and where it’s much easier for us to handle.

I can’t say with certitude I’ll never return, I’m not a “never” person. Or I’m only saying never when I say “I can never know for sure”. But as of today, and until or unless my feelings change, I am closing my rp blogs and I am quitting tumblr rp, and except those very few plots for which I already contacted the muns for, I am not rping anymore.

There was only Allen’s blog and Wei Wuxian’s blog that had remained active, and this means both of them are being closed now.

Obviously, if you wish to remain in touch, you can! Your best bet is discord, as it’s a little easier to handle than IM on tumblr.

And of course, you can still find me, just not in rp blogs. I strongly advise my fanfic blog as your go to place, as I intend for it to the place where I can speak about myself (I have a personal blog, but I intend to have it be reblogs only). Especially if you liked what you were seeing on my rp blogs, and/or my writings and/or ideas; as both the canon au for Allen’s blog and the Noah!WWX ideas will be fanfics.

If you want my AO3 directly, it’s there!

Meet me Halfway to the End if the fic for the exact canon au that is at the base of Allen’s blog, but when it’s comes to Allen’s characterization, a lot of my canon/canon au (and even au) fics remain with the portrayal you have seen me develop. As for Noah!WWX, they don’t exist yet, but I fully intend to indulge into writing for ideas based on the different verses that existed on the blog, and one or two more; I’m rather certain I’ll make a series where each fic cover a specific idea (like “what if he awakens when he’s brought back” and “what if awakens when he’s thrown in burial pounds”).

And while this does mean I’ll get more time and energy to give to fics, what I know is that this really frees me up (especially mentally) when it comes to my original writings. It would mean a lot to me to see you on my fic blog, or checking my fics, and it would mean so, so much if I see you following my writer blog, or checking/keeping an eye on my site. I don’t know if I often said it, but everything on my site is free to read, and my income is the support anyone willingly give via Patreon and/or Ko-fi.

So while it’s amazing when I do get financial support, what matters the most is for readers to find me, and for a secure network to be born. The more people that find me, and the more of those that actually find something they like, the more I can create a secure space. But for that, I can only trust in the curiosity of others, as I share about my writings.

“He misses someone he loves, just like I miss mine”

YELL