#outofhandcuffs

so, an update on the whole moving situation: some friends of ours rent out the top floor of their house and we’re gonna move in there (their current lodger is moving out this week) - we’ll be there for as long as it takes us to get a mortgage and buy somewhere more permanent

we are moving in 1 week and i am stressing. moving dates are 8th & 9th, plus we’ll have to clean and stuff so we leave the flat in a good state. basically, long story short, I have no idea how much i’m gonna be around for the next few weeks. i will be lurking, and around on disco, but probably not posting or queueing replies (i know i’m slow as heck anyway, but i will be slower)

Either way, it means that I've no idea what muse or activity will be like over the next few months - there is a lot to do and a lot to think about, and of course I'm super anxious about the whole thing - so this is advance warning that I might disappear, or alternatively might write loads as escapism. Which way it goes remains to be seen 🤷‍♀️

i am an absolute wreck atm if i’m being completely honest. my mental health is just a disaster, and coupled with what now seems to be a hypervigilance around what is likely to tip me over into a bad day, i am just always on edge, always tired, often tearful, often lonely, and usually unmotivated. i am literally keeping going day to day on prayer and willpower whilst trying to forget what’s going on. trying to get help with all this is proving to be more difficult than i thought, so who even knows when i’ll get something.

i’m slowly getting better, and hopefully i’ll be back to writing and queuing stuff soon.