We might feel a bit deflated about Cait’s seeming willingness to allow implications that Tony is her Hub and she had her first child by Tony this year. She stated she is not married to Sam and we’re all just “horny old grannies.” Maybe she is just a sincere, hard-working actor finding her way later in life through a challenging career and experiencing some luck and success along the way. But I’m not deflated or deterred in my belief that SC live a rich, full, sexy, joy-filled, creative private life together with a herd of wee Balfe-Heughans. The harder she tries, the more I feel she has something to hide and something very precious to protect. Her family, friends and spouse agree and are part of the charade. For one thing, beyond the thousands of receipts, all I need to see are photos of her with Jamie on the red carpet where they look like regular co-stars, in contrast to the hundreds of pics with Sam where they look like lovers IRL. These confirm it for me. The questions are do I mind not getting a peek into her and Sam’s private life and what are my expectations for a celebrity I follow as a fan? First, I’m as curious as anybody. Of course I’d love to see a few posts with pics of SC enjoying their off-camera life together. Their children must be precocious and beautiful, just as our own are. They can provide awesome opportunities for their young family. We would celebrate this with them. The majority of us want the best for SC and their kids and would even protect them if we had the chance. But there are so many wingnuts in the world today, I shudder to think about the negative impact or violence from just one disillusioned, disgruntled, conspiracy-loving, misinformed, malignant bystander. SC are in the public eye. OL is seen by millions around the world. I believe they bare their souls in creating their art on OL. All artists, including myself, are vulnerable because our best work comes from a deep place within where our beliefs, creativity and magical self reside. Why should they expose their private world when they show us so much of themselves on screen? Second, my expectations for anybody I know are honesty, respect, kindness. But I don’t know SC. I’m interested in them because I respect their work and find them intriguing. But I don’t have the same expectations for them, just as I don’t have those expectations for my boss, neighbors or clients. I appreciate their honesty, but if they choose to not fill me in about their lover, spouse and children, that’s okay. I respect that. It’s a professional relationship. If they gaslight or demur, I accept it because I don’t need to know what doesn’t affect our work or our professional time together. If they’re honest, respectful and kind in our work together, I accept that there are probably circumstances I can’t control, don’t know about and are not privy to behind the scenes. I respect them. I’m kind towards them and I’m honest about what they’re entitled to or need to know about. Beyond that, it’s off limits. Social media is a highly addictive, damaging, lie-filled, dangerous tool. In the wrong hands, it’s a deadly cancer on society. Of course, it isn’t all bad, but it must be understood, respected and used carefully with specific democratic goals in mind. I wish SC all the love, tenderness, joy and authenticity available to them. May they flourish and prosper. Maybe some day they’ll allow us a wee glance at their private supreme happiness. 💕
