#outerbanksfic

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You hated lunch at Kildare Preparatory Academy. It wasn’t that it was bad or anything, but it was certainly not good. There was no added butter, no oil, and obviously no love. It all tasted like it would have been sold downtown, at one of the new juice bars or vegan cafes. 

Sarah didn’t seem to mind, though. She was digging into her panini and pasta salad, gossiping with you as you sat at a table in the sun. You listened in silence, letting the warmth cover your bare legs. You were glad you met her. There was always a cliche in movies that the pretty, popular girl bullied the introverted new girl. But that wasn't true. Sarah accepted you into her circle. She invited you to parties, showed you the cool way to plait your hair, and made Kooks see you as one of them, rather than a Pogue whose parents hit it big.

Even though moving schools during freshman year was hard, it was moments like this that made you glad that your family made it. Kildare County High School was a mess, falsely beautified by newly lacquered gym floors and covered in finger-print-smudged windows. Kildare Prep was gorgeous, wrapped in ivy with Tiffany blue glass stained windows. You sighed contentedly and opened your eyes again to find Sarah staring at you. 

“I have something to tell you.” She announced, looking like she would burst. You raise your eyebrows expectantly, waiting for her to spill whatever it was that had been weighing on her mind. “I started seeing someone.”

You wanted to pretend that you were shocked, but you weren't. Sarah had a bad history with men. The bad part being how fast she went through them. 

“I know what you’re thinking: ‘Sarah, another one?’ I know! But I actually really like him. He’s not like anyone else I know.”

You grin at your friend, seeing the blush rise on her cheeks. You send her a knowing smile. Witnessing Sarah giddy with excitement was a special kind of happiness. “Who is it?”

Her smile faded slightly, and she took a deep breath. “Well, it’s- hm. It’s…John Routledge.” You open your mouth to burst in, but she quickly talks over you. “I know! I know you know each other, and I know you’re gonna be so pissed, but it’s different! He is so sweet, and he just understands me, like everything that's going on with Rafe and Dad." She pauses briefly and searches your eyes. "You know I’m right. You would know better than anyone.” 

You knew all too well. Before your family earned big on investments your dad made, you used to live right next to John B. He, along with Pope Heyward and JJ Maybank used to be your best friends. You spent all day together, fishing and surfing, getting so sunburnt that you couldn't walk. They were always there for you, no matter what.

After you moved, it was radio silence from them. Not that you wanted it to be, but they never reached out after you left their side of the island. Ever since then, you became a stranger to them.

“Sarah.” Is all you say, mouth left hanging open. You can't help but stare at her. 

“Close your mouth. You’ll catch flies.” She deadpans, a slight smirk extending across her face. “Plus, tell me that you never miss them. This could be good for you!”

“And if you break up?”

“Then nothing will change! You don’t talk at all. Please, Y/N, don’t be mad at me.”

Her reaction takes you back. Being mad never even crossed your mind. Shock that she would even hang out with Pogues, yes, but never anger.

“Mad? I’m not mad. I’m…I want to be happy for you. It might just take me some time to warm up to them again.” You reply, stealing a piece of pasta salad off Sarah’s plate with your fingers. You scowl as you taste the vinegar, far too strong for your liking.

“Then why don’t you hang out with us this weekend? Just to get you comfortable with them again. I've never met his friends, and I want you there. You’ll see, he’s so mature now. Plus, he’s hot too!”

Hot? That was never the word you would associate with John B. Nerdy and kinda bashful maybe, but definitely not the "hot" boy in the group.

“Ew! If I say yes, will you stop bugging me about a boy I grew up with, who at one point was practically my brother?”

She laughs out loud, arms spread wide and face set towards the sun. “Yes! I swear, I’ll be quiet forever!”

You grin at how happy she is. She looks so free like this, smiling at the sun with her golden hair practically blinding you. “I don't want you to be quiet forever. Just for now. And maybe for the next week."

-

The ride back home was slow. Sometimes, you wondered what life would have been like if you stayed in the Cut. Would your car be packed full of your old friends? Dopey boys changing the station, or a certain blond trying to light up in your front seat? Would your parents even be able to afford a second car at all? You feel like a loser thinking back on stuff that you can’t change now, but you can’t help it. What Sarah said to you weighed heavy on your mind today. What happened to the friendship you had with them?

You pulled into your lengthy driveway, spotting your brother's dusty car sitting in the garage. It was the end of May, so he would be coming back to the island soon. You missed him so much, it physically hurt you. 

With him home, there was only one thing left to wait for: summer. 

As much as you needed your days free, along with the ability to call your friends whenever to go get ice cream, summer only led to what you dreaded: college applications.

You didn’t know what you wanted to do with your life. How the hell would you? You were still a child, how could you figure out what you were supposed to do for the rest of your life? With your family's new wealth, your parents were very stubborn about the fact that you and your brother would go to a prestigious school where you would get a top-notch education.

However, that was not something you were interested in. Your brother went to school in Indiana, at Notre Dame University. They expected you to follow him. 

You wanted to stay local. Not commuter close, per se, but close enough that you could drive him if you needed more contacts or a new prescription. You couldn't stand to be far from the water, the only place that brought you stability and comfort. 

But your parents insisted that you would leave and see what else there was. So you would.

You parked your car and jogged up the stairs, kicking your shoes off and hanging up your backpack before heading to the outdoor shower to change into your wetsuit. In the warmer months, you taught younger kids how to surf in the afternoon. You loved the challenge of trying to get kiddos to not be spooked by the waves and going under. 

The beach had been the first place you and the Pogues had for yourself. Your parents were never there and there were no concerns about not having enough money to fill the boat with gas. Your surfboard was second-hand and coated in wax, but it was yours and that was enough. 

You used to all have matching anklets, constructed from pieces of sea junk and old rope found in John B’s surf shack. You lost yours swimming with Sarah the year before, but you wish you still had it. It was one of the only reminders you had of them. 

You changed quickly and headed to the beach. Lessons were exhausting, but the little girl that you taught today made you smile. She was six years old, and her name was Penny. She had long, blonde hair and shiny blue eyes, just like she was meant for the coast. She looked so similar to JJ, who was your absolute rock during your girlhood.

He was always at the beach at the same time you were. You never talked to him and he never even looked at you. He made you feel like there was never anything even there between you two, which hurt you more than you cared to acknowledge. Yes, you two had grown apart. But to act like a stranger? There was a point in your life where you would call JJ your brother, your best friend. Now you were nobody.

He was with John B and Pope, laughing and chilling on their boards in the water. Every now and then, you could see Pope splash at his friends, rolling his eyes when they said something idiotic. When a wave came by, they rode it together. You constantly saw them chuckling when they wiped out and help each other cough salt water out of their lungs. 

When John B caught your eye, he smiled a bit and waved. He always either nodded or half-smiled, but a wave was foreign to you. You grinned back shyly, unsure of how to respond. When the other two boys looked over at you, you suddenly felt like a target.

JJ did not seem as forgiving as John B. His eyes narrowed at you, scoffing a bit and mumbling something before he turned back to the group. 

Pope smirked at his comment, but John B did not seem impressed. You watched him yell at his best friend, and though you couldn't hear what he said over the waves, you could guess it wasn't nice. 

The fact that you knew they were not only making fun of you but arguing because of you, made you uneasy. The last thing you wanted was to create a rift in the friend group, as you knew how much they all depended on each other. You glanced around for Kie, but you couldn't find her. 

You guys had kept in touch when you both moved, but you never were the best of friends. You spoke at parties and occasionally you saw her strolling the boardwalk, but you never hung out. If you were honest, you were a bit jealous of her. Why wouldn't you be? She still had them. 

Growing up together as the only girls in a group of boys, you constantly were pitted against each other. Always being compared over everything, especially your looks, became tiring for both you. It wasn't either of your faults, but it created a barrier between the two of you. 

Soon enough, the class was over, and you could flee the beach. You practically ran home, desperate for a shower and dying to call Sarah and tell her what happened. 

The phone rang twice before she picked up the call. 

“What’s up? Are you okay?”

You switched your board from under your left arm to your right, and readjusted your phone. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just need to tell you what just happened because I’m like, kinda geeked.”

You described the situation to her, breaking in the middle to let Sarah ask her most pressing question: Which board shorts was John B wearing? The blue ones with the suns or the stripes?

“Well, I’m glad he stuck up for you. I’m confused though. I've heard that JJ was nice. Maybe he was having a bad day? Or maybe he wasn't even talking about you.”

You puff out your cheeks and let out a deep breath. “I don’t know man, he seemed pretty pissed at me.”

“Well, there's nothing you can do about it now. Hey, are you coming to the club tonight? There's that barbeque for Memorial Day that my parents are making me go to.” Sarah asked, shutting the door to her closet and walking down the hallway. You heard Ward in the background questioning her, but she muted and gave you the "one-sec" motion before she answered him. 

You texted her that you were gonna hang up, but that your parents were also forcing you to go so you could suffer together. You made a fart noise into the speaker before you pressed the little red button, and laughed to yourself at the thought of Sarah hearing that as she squabbled with her dad. 

By the time you made it to the club, Sarah had already finished her food. She rolled her eyes as she saw you speedwalk to the table with your plate in hand. She took a long sip of her lemonade as she examined you up and down. “Well, at least you look good.”

“Shut up. I had work,” you reply, sliding into the chair next to hers and placing a napkin on your lap. “Plus, most of the food was gone. There was like, nothing left.”

“Maybe you shouldn't have been late then! I don’t know, just a thought.” Sarah mocked, laughing at your side-eye. “Hey, real talk though. I need some advice.”

“What?” You ask, covering your mouth with your hand as you chowed down on your pulled pork sandwich. 

“Well, John B said that when we all hang out Kie is gonna come. And it’s not that I don’t wanna see her, it's just that- well, I guess I don't wanna see her.”

“Why?” 

You knew why. Everyone knew why. You really hoped their beef wouldn't make the reunion any more awkward than it already would be. 

“It ended so badly between us. She literally left school because of me. I was such a bitch.” Sarah sighed, pushing some of her golden hair over her shoulder. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” You laughed, raising your eyebrows at her. “Sarah, be real. Do you think he would invite her if she was gonna make it a big deal?” 

She cocked her head to the side, eyes searching for something on the pristine golf course before shaking her head. 

“No. No, I don’t think so.”

“Exactly. You worry too much. If I can do it, you can too. My situation is worse, I’d say.”

Sarah giggled and drained the rest of her drink. “Yeah, probably. Hey, are you seriously okay about hanging with them? I know it might be a little awkward.”

Honestly, you didn't want to go back to them. It would be painful, to hear their inside jokes that you no longer had any idea about and re-acquainting yourself with the life that could have been yours. As much as you loved the life your parents has built for you, there were times that you missed the easygoing nature of the Cut and evenings at the Chateau with Big John. 

 “It’ll be more than a little awkward at first. I mean, JJ can’t even look at me and Pope can’t help but to laugh at JJ’s snide comments. But I’ll do it for you.”

“What do you remember about them? JJ and Pope?” Sarah asks, pulling her cardigan tighter around her tan shoulders as the wind started to wind up.

“Well, Pope is a genius. Always has been. Kind of a suck-up, but that’s just him. He’ll always help out if he can, and he’s super genuine. I honestly don’t think there's a bad bone in his body.” You stop and take a deep breath. You didn’t really like to allow yourself to think of them too often. “And JJ, he’s-”

“You used to like him, didn’t you? I feel like I remember you saying that.”

You instantly blushed at Sarah's words. You had drunkenly told her that one night during one of your “ladies' nights”. In other words, you each stole a bottle of wine from your parents and got wine drunk. 

“Well, yeah kinda. I guess. It was strange. He was my best friend. He was always there for me, especially when my dad was going through it. We were similar in a lot of ways. He was proud and courageous. He taught me how to surf on a board he stole from a random tourist. He said the most out-of-pocket shit, but somehow when he says it, it’s just funny.  He’s so fucking funny.” You smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. When Sarah notices, she grabs your hand. 

“Sorry if that was too much, we can stop. I know it’s hard for you.”

You watch the sun disappear under the water, the sky filling with oranges and light pinks while the steady May breeze brushes over your skin. You felt Sarah's head lean on your shoulder, and you placed yours on top of her own. 

“You are the best person I could have ever hoped would come into my life. I love you.” Sarah sighed, feeling the smile grow on her face from where she was propped on your shoulder.