#ouch.......

𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆   𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒. 

fuck.   the   jacket   you’re   wearing   is   too   heavy   and   when   you   take   it   off   you’re   too   cold   and   your   shirt’s   the   wrong   texture.          none   of   the   clothes   in   your   wardrobe   feel   right ,   or   fit   in   the   way   you   need   them   to.    YOUR   SKIN   IS   CRAWLING   AGAIN.   it’s   not   going   well ,   is   it?   you   think   about   crying ,    like   you’re   standing   outside   of   your   body   and   peering   at   your   own   face.   go   on.   cry ,   why   won’t   you   just   cry ?      it’s   almost   unbearable ,       just   a   fraction   short   of   that.      but   that’s   the   catch ,   that’s   the   catch.   you’ve   been   a   fraction   short   of   ‘lost   my   mind’   for   so   long ,   that   you   don’t   know   what   it’ll   take   for   you   to   break.        so   you   keep   on   going ,   you   stay   the   same.   sludge   in   your   brain   no   matter   what   direction   you   tilt   it   in.   we’re   walking   through   water ,   love.       but   you   don’t   know   how   to   say   you   don’t   know   how   to   swim.          i   think   you   should   sit   in   the   sunniest   corner   you   can   find   and   listen   to   mitski’s   cover   of   ‘let’s   get   married’,   and   it’ll   make   you   feel   a   little   bit   better.   ( and   I   know   it's   bad   when   we   look   out    /    but   bad ,   bad   people   don't   live   in   our   house)

“  do  you  think  keeping  it  from  you  was  easy ?  ”      all  bark  and  no  bite.  she  can’t  hold  back  the  flash  of  teeth  ,  but  pulls  in  enough  emotion  that  she  doesn’t  snap.  how  easy  it  would  be  to  lose  it.  he’s  the  one  person  she  trusts  enough  to  let  herself  be  angry.  but  this  isn’t  his  fault.  weight  comes  to  rest  atop  fragile  shoulders.  she  hadn’t  realized  she  had  been  carrying  the  world  until  it  was  too  late.  and  now  ,  she  feels  like  she’s  sinking.  drowning  in  her  own  mistakes  with  nothing  to  keep  her  afloat.  not  even  her  best  friend.