#ouaw shitpost

Gideon: Which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water??

Twig: Y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Kremy: Gid. Answer the question, Gid.

Gideon: Yeah??? I thought for like, five years people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason

Torbek: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Frost: why are u putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Torbek: Do you think Torbek have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Twig: It takes less than a minute!

Torbek: Bestie, is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun?!

Gricko: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove!?

Torbek: Like seven minutes??

Gricko: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like 2 minutes . . . less than that u use a saucepan...

Torbek: You're putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Ur stove is enchanted

Frost: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic

Kremy: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

Kremy: "Alright guys, what are we going to watch?"

Gricko, the indecisive one: "Let's watch a comedy! No. No. Action! Wait,"

Gideon, Gricko and Torbek: Just here for the free snacks.

Kremy, the one that talks through the whole movie: "You clearly heard that there's a killer in the house. Now you're going to go investigate? He's going to get ya! He got them!"

Frost, the nitpicker: "These special effects are terrible."

Torbek: the overreactor

Gideon: the awkward laugher

Gricko and Torbek, the ugly criers: "WHY?!?! Why did they have to kill him?!?

Gideon, the one who's seen it before: "Check it out. Check it out! Something really cool is about to happen!" *Sees Kremy not paying attention* "Dude, you gotta look! Come on!"

Frost, the super invested one: "shhh!"

Kremy, the one usually on their phone: "What? I have Better things to do than to watch a stupid movie."

Hootsie and Torbek, always falls asleep during the movie

Kremy: "Torbek, get up. The movie's over. You slept through the whole thing."

Based on this short:

*After a long day of Adventuring, (Let's be honest, 90% of the time they're just fucking around in the backwoods) The crew stop to pick up a bite to eat.

Kremy: Gid, I'm not much of a fast food eater.

Gideon: Yeah, Kremy? Can you tell what I'm thinking right now? I'm thinkin' "shut up and get a salad".

Torbek: Torbek want some McNuggets.

Gideon: We'll get to you, Torbek!

Gricko: I want a hamburger-- no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake.

[Hooting noises coming from the back]

Gricko: Oh yeah. And a happy meal for Hoostie.

Gideon: Uh, hello!

Peggy: Yes, welcome to QuackDonald's. Can I help you?

Gideon: Uh, yeah. We're gonna get 2 McChicken Sandwiches and a Diet Coke and... What do you want, Frost?

Frost: A McDLT.

Gideon: I already told you, they don't make those anymore.

Frost: You know, it's a regional thing. You could ask.

Kremy: No QuackDonald's anywhere makes an McDLT anymore!

Gricko: I'd love a Shamrock Shake if they got any of those.

Kremy: It's September, Gricko!

Frost: I'm just sayin', they have all the ingredients for a McDe...

[a car behind them honks its horn]

Gideon: Just hang on! Alright?! There are a lot of us! There's a lot - it's a big order!

Torbek: What time do they stop serving breakfast?

Kremy: It's 3:00!

Torbek: Some of them serve breakfast all day.

Kremy: NONE OF EM' SERVE BREAKFAST ALL DAY!!!

Gideon: Do you guys have beer?

The Crew goes Bowling

Kremy: Alright, everyone got their bowling shoes?

Torbek: Torbek doesn't have his shoes.

Kremy: Torbek, we were just at the counter! Why didn't you get your shoes?

Gideon: I don't have my shoes either.

Kremy: What the he- You need your shoes to bowl!

Gideon: Now why exactly can I not wear my boots? What is the danger there?

Kremy: Because Gideon! Because Gid, those are the rules!

Gideon: Well, I think it's just because they want another dollar fifty from me.

Kremy: Alright, I'm putting our names in. Gricko...

Gricko: Wait, don't put Gricko!

Kremy: *signs*

Gricko: Put king shmebulock!

Kremy: I don't know how to change it! I already typed it in!

Torbek: Put Torbek as Torbek is Awesome.

Kremy: I'M NOT PUTTING EVERYONE AS A FAKE NAME!

Frost: How do you want to do the teams?

Gideon: How about Brains over Muscles?

Kremy: Gideon, don't be an instigater.

Torbek: Torbek has to pee.

Kremy: *signs* Gricko, can you please take Torbek to the bathroom?

Gideon: Because my phone was dead.

Kremy: Well then, why didn't you text me?!

Gideon: ... Because. my phone. was dead.

But do you know what I really want?

A Coalecroux Little Mermaid AU!

It just makes sense to me.

Kremy is definitely going to be Ariel

Gideon is Prince Eric

Frost can be Sebastian. He's literally perfect for the role

And Gricko or Torbek as Flounder

And Hoostie as Max!

I don't have everything figured out yet, but in my head, this makes sense!

Someone make this a thing

PLEEEEEEEEEASE!

I need a fanfic and fanart!

I already posted this on the reblog of my original post, but here we go!

UPDATED CAST LIST:

Kremy as Ariel

Gideon as Prince Eric

Frost as Sebastian

Gricko as Scuttle

Torbek as Flounder

And Hoostie as Max

The more I think about it, Torbek fits the part of Flounder so well.

IDEA!

I also had a thought. Since Kremy is known for being somewhat of a con-man and Scam Artist and shady as all hell, it would fit that he would have the power of the siren song and use it to enchant sailors and while they're in a trance, he would steal all their treasure and gold and jump back into the water before anyone is none the wiser. He would probably keep the wealth and valuable objects for himself or sell them to the other aquatic creatures for jacked up prices.

His grotto would be filled with the collection of all the shit he stole over the years. Fancy stuff like expensive paintings, silverware, and other shinies. Basically rich people shit.

It just feels so in character for him. It fits.

Eat! Eat my children! We Coalecroux Shippers are Starved! I'm surviving off of crumbs.

I haven't figured out Triton or Ursula yet.

I don't think this AU necessarily needs a Triton, but it definitely needs a Ursula! This AU needs a villain, we gotta get that conflict somewhere.

If anyone wants to take this whole thing and turn it into fanfic and fanart, I wouldn't mind.

...

SOMEONE MAKE FANFICTION AND FANART OF THIS!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

PLEASE!

I should probably end this post before I embarrass myself any further. Also, it's almost 1:00 a.m. I should probably go to bed.

Think about it.

Gideon as Peter

Gricko as Stewie

Frost as Brian

Torbek as Chris

Kremy as Lois