reply box re: dcfs call
Sent you a message I hope you got it
valencing replied to your photoset “I need some advice. I’ll take any input before I make a decision. This...”
(2/2) but keep in mind the neighbors will know SOMEONE made a complaint & may suspect you depending on how many ppl are in ur building. that the husband was hostile to you already is scary.
valencing replied to your photoset “I need some advice. I’ll take any input before I make a decision. This...”
i would call cps (altho cps CAN be invasive/destructive). if it was an infant i would think they were "sleep-training" her which i'm against but is unfortunately normal. but usually a preschool-age child doesn't cry that continuously.
cluelesswolf replied to your photoset “I need some advice. I’ll take any input before I make a decision. This...”
i'm not trained professionally, but i work with little kids and spend a lot of time around them and that would really trouble me. like everyone else said: do what your gut tells you. i'm sry about this weighing on u tho ):
peacefulpreciousgem replied to your photoset “I need some advice. I’ll take any input before I make a decision. This...”
Call child protection services maybe? Idk to me It's better to be safe than sorry. I don't think it's prying. It sounds like the welfare of the child is endangered. Follow your gut tho :)
hufflepulf replied to your photoset “I need some advice. I’ll take any input before I make a decision. This...”
maybe the next time the kid is crying for a long period of time, more than normal, you could call the police? at least here they're used to getting calls from people worried for kids and know how to deal with it
theroadverytravelled replied to your photoset “I need some advice. I’ll take any input before I make a decision. This...”
it's been a while since my little sisters were that age (bout 10 years or so) but prolonged crying is quite unusual, especially if it's happening daily. reading this gives me such a bad feeling, i'm sorry for the kid and for you weighing all this
othisredding-personal replied to your photoset “I need some advice. I’ll take any input before I make a decision. This...”
I mean a kid might scream/cry for 30 minutes MAYBE but more than that and I'd be concerned, not at that age
othisredding-personal replied to your photoset “I need some advice. I’ll take any input before I make a decision. This...”
I'm not sure about what the solution here is but a 3/4 yo kid crying for long periods of time especially during the day is a huge huge huge red flag. That's not normal.
thank you everyone for your input, big or small. many of you private messaged me in greater depth, too, and i really appreciate all of you, on or off anon. some of you offered firsthand experience which is invaluable. this is a contentious issue as i have so little hard evidence. i do feel like something is wrong in my gut, and i do have a social responsibility to that child. i was talking to a friend about it last night and she said something that chilled me to my core. i said "i just don't want something to happen to the kid, i'd never forgive myself for not calling." she leveled and said, "something is already happening to that kid."
but val's points are what make me hesitate. i've seen DCFS wreck havoc on honest, loving families that were just stretched a little too thin. if, somehow, my call makes it past screening, and they send someone to the apartment, that's a stressful situation for everyone involved--potentially traumatic--and what if i'm wrong? it sucks that i have this built in distrust of the system, but it isn't exactly for naught.
val's other point about him suspecting me is highly likely. i know that a call to DCFS would keep me anonymous technically, but it isn't hard to put the puzzle pieces together. we're a small, four unit building, and one unit isn't even inhabited currently. from what i've noticed, they hardly ever have friends or family over who might notice something wrong. the child doesn't appear to attend any kind of daycare or school that might make a call on their behalf. on top of this, i've had issues with the husband before. in a country where, on average, a child says they're being abused seven times before it's looked into, i don't even think this child has seven people to attempt to tell. that narrows the scope uncomfortably to me, and i don't know what he (or the mother) are capable of. i just have to decide what that fear weighs against my fear for this kid.
i've pretty much resolved to make the call, probably tonight, especially because absolutely nobody that i’ve talked to w/ experience w/ this age group thinks that amount of crying and distress is normal. i just want to ask for good vibes. i don't feel good making this decision, even if i feel it's the right thing to do. this isn't something you ever think you might have to do. i might cause trouble for good people that i've simply misjudged. but as so many of you have said, it's better safe than sorry. any passing support would be welcome, especially if this ends up putting me in hot water with my neighbors. :(
