#orokamonogatari

Also her constantly killing and insulting Araragi in her mind is very good because it offers a very clear example of what she said in Owari, how she needs to cling to that hate to go forward, and we see it happening in real time here - she uses it both to calm down and to give herself the strength to act by convincing herself she's proving him that he's wrong about her. She's slowly getting back up again from the bottom so even when helping other people she needs to cling to her worst thoughts and impulses to do it rather than positive ones, which would be too much for her to accept right now. Hell, the moment she shows the most confidence and does a very Araragi-like action is when she came out of a trash can.

It's kind of a heavy novel to read due to how much of it is like reading a very long and elaborated vent post, and it feels especially bad for her when things don't go her away even when she's trying (the classmate running away from her when muster the courage to try to interact with her, having bad luck and failing even to take that one simple photo the idea of which was making her happy for the first time in the novel) but also that's precisely why it works. She'd doing the smallest of steps yet it somehow feels like she's really making progress, like how when you've been depressed you take solace in the little things you manage do to after you start getting back up.