#ornery-jack

Clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, the former police officer let her eyes fall to the mashed food that sat untouched on the plate before her. Unpalatable and atrocious looking. There were many reasons she had decided not to devour the food, but the most compounding factor had been that she knew what the employees were capable of doing to get people like her to cooperate. 

Ooh, that I can most certainly do.

Basic details: he’s a two-headed dog about the size of a small pony, looking a lot like a muggle rottweiler aside from his obviously magical characteristics. Black with brown markings, docked tail, broad build, the whole bit. The right head tends to display a carefree, happy-go-luck personality, while the left head is more serious, but also more prone to misbehavior.

Unlike Hagrid’s three-headed dog in book one, who was a naturally-occurring animal in the vein of Cerberus, Romulus is the result of illegal magical experimentation into the creation of chimera - that is, magically mashing various animals together to produce a more dangerous animal. He was actually two littermates before they were transfigured together, but that happened at such a young age that they can’t remember being any other way, and he gets by just fine. Any attempts to separate the two parts of him would likely result in the death of at least one part, and if not, it’s unlikely they could adapt to being separate again, since they’ve been one being since infancy. 

Harvey came across him when he and two other Aurors apprehended Rom’s creator seven years ago, and while most of the man’s creations had to be humanely euthanized, either because they were suffering in their condition or were too dangerous to allow to live, Harvey stepped in on Romulus’ behalf and appealed to have him released into his custody. He was always fond of dogs, and felt a connection to this one in particular, and after some legal jockeying he was licensed to keep him as a pet, similar to the license a wizard would need to own a Fwooper, Kneazle, or Crup. Any time he goes somewhere muggles are likely to be, he has to perform disillusionment charms on him, but since both he and Romulus now live almost entirely at Hogwarts, that isn’t really a problem.

     ”Oh, for crying out loud.” He shut his good eye tight, and for just a moment imagined himself in a Hogwarts where everyone wasn’t out to make his job so much harder than it had to be. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to round up a herd of animals nine out of ten people can’t even see?” Of course he did. He was a poltergeist - this was what he did.

A thought I had way too often when watching the last Spider-Man movie: Harry looks too good all beaten up. /no shame

D: I hate when that happens.

"I'd do it, of course!"

Really? Pam's glaring at us with her "submissive bitch alert" binoculars somewhere.