#ormund

This wasn’t the plan. Otto wasn’t supposed to be here yet. Sanah told you that this dinner was for the three of you, and after hearing Ormund’s advice, then Otto would arrive. You needed to hear another perspective, other than your sister’s but you also felt like time was of the essence.

But here the Hand of the King stood.

 You could tell he was trying not to look bewildered. But something in his eyes was giving it away.

“Good evening brother!” Ormund stood from his seat, gave you a quick glance and stalked forward.

     “Evening,” Otto muttered, holding out his hand, “the invitation told me a later time, but your Lady wife knocked on my door.

 There was a few heartbeats of silence.

The way they looked at each other was curious. So many words unsaid, layers upon layers of feelings, memories and hurt. Did they want to tear at the masks and shout their true feelings for all the castle to hear? You knew Ormund would. He’d done it many times before. But Otto wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

Sanah looked at you with mischief in her eyes. You tried not to roll your own.

   The decanter of wine looked much more appealing now. And you filled your cup to the brim and drank.

                                                            -✶-

I looked at Lenia and tried not to blush. The thought of her naked breasts filled my mind and I had to look away. She looked stunning in her green dress. Had she known I was coming and put on the colours of my House? Or maybe I was being self-centred.

  It was difficult to separate Lenia from my mind, particularly so these past few nights. My hand was seldom incomparable to the feel of Lenia. I wanted to smell her again, to have her beneath me. She left so suddenly the next day that I thought I had done something wrong. Well, I knew I had done something wrong. Maybe I was too rough in my lovemaking, but I’m sure I would be punished by the gods for loving Lenia, completely, before marriage. And yet, I’m sure they knew how much I loved her. That our love couldn’t be wrong, or a sin.

  The dinner table had been set for three, and the servants were creating an extra space for me. Seemingly, no one but Sanah knew I was coming. Disappointment trickled through me.

                                                       -✶-

The glow of the candles blurred together as your eyes flicked across the room. Light music was playing, and a violinist sat in the far corner of the room, their eyes closed, getting lost in the music. You were getting lost in something as well. You could feel the thrum of your blood. The heat from the drink was warming every part of your body. You felt lightheaded but in a good way. Like all the problems in the world meant nothing.

  “Otto, why haven’t you spoken to me since the other night?”

The room went silent.

And you weren’t even shocked at your outburst of a question. Common sense, anxieties and morals had been drowned out by the red liquid in your cup. You hadn’t looked at Sanah, but she was smiling slightly, trying not to giggle. See, she had let the drink overcome her as well. She was catching up to you.

    Otto looked like he might combust. Even though he tried his best to keep a cool demeanour, you could sense his unease.

Ormund was the one to speak, “You can speak openly brother, Lenia has told us everything. Well, nearly everything.”

Now Otto completely blushed. The mask he was fighting to wear had completely slipped and he was beet red.

                                                           -✶-

Was this really happening? Otto thought. Never in his life would he thought his youngest, and wildest brother, would be having dinner with the woman he loved, her sister, talking about sex.

  “It’s normal,” Sanah was in the middle of her sentence, and I tried to zone her out. The musicians had been sent away as the hour grew late.

 Lenia looked at me. A fierce look that was a mixture of hot and cold. Desire and sadness.

  “You don’t have to be embarrassed Otto. Sanah says breast-biting is very common.” You weren’t exactly slurring, but your words were coming out without any annunciation or pause.

You knew Otto would be embarrassed but you were tired of him being so uptight. Sex was normal, and you wanted him to know that.

  “Otto, please don’t feel uncomfortable. Ormund does a lot worse to me-“

At that very moment, Ormund spluttered, choking on his wine. But then he laughed. A deep, heavy belly laugh. Not a mocking one, or one that deflected the attention of the words.

  “It’s true brother, much worse.”

                                                         -✶-

Dinner had been eaten. A grand display of meats, honey-covered vegetables and spiced fruits. The fresh bread had made your stomach rumble. The kitchens had been good to you tonight.

You felt carefree. There wasn’t a worry or anxiety anywhere in your body, or in your mind. Even though the musician had left, you could feel the music within you. The goblet you were holding had been topped up by Sanah, who had discarded her own and was drinking straight from the bottle.

You both swayed together, clutching onto each other’s free hand. You twirled and mimicked one of the popular dances in King’s Landing. Elrie had been showing you only yesterday.

 “I don’t think we’re doing this right,” you said, giggling.

“No, not at all. But god it’s fun.” Both of your shoes had been discarded and Sanah continued talking. “I think I want to get a pet. Do you think Viserys would care if I got a cat? Are cats allowed in the castle?”

  “Ask Lucie, he probably has a whole litter underneath his bed.”

You both laughed heartily at that. Because the next day, you heard a meow coming from his rooms.

                                                           -✶-

“Are they always like this when they get together?” I asked my brother. Both of us were still seated at the table, our own goblets in hand. The food had been cleared and a plate of desserts was left on the oak table.

     “…yes,” Ormund said after taking another gulp.

“I don’t mind it,” I looked out the window at the moon high in the sky. A star winked at me, and an owl hooted.

   “Yes. I guess it is nice to see people have fun.” Ormund gave me a darkened look, then got up and walked towards his wife and her sister.

I watched as Ormund smoothly slid into the dance. He took both of the women’s free hands in his and whirled them around. The wine sloshed around in their cups and threatened to spill at any moment. And yet no one cared.

 It bothered me that I did. I cared so much about the spilling that my instinct was to grab the goblets and place them far out of their reach.

A voice sounded in my head then. One that I hadn’t heard in many, many years. It can always be cleaned up.

  I hadn’t heard my wife’s voice since Alicent was married. Echoes of her words found me in difficult moments. When I begged the gods for advice, for guidance or a hint of what to do.

And so, I felt it in me then. The urge to rid myself of caution. But before I could do so, I was whisked from my chair and led to the floor.

                                                       -✶-

You and Sanah had pushed the furniture out of the way to make the floor fit for dancing. Even the rug was pulled into a corner, crumpled against the wall.  It was something you used to do back in your childhood, especially when you were travelling to different cities, where your parents were performing. Nights in your shared chambers, dancing with your two sisters and younger brother. The memory overtook your mind and you stopped dancing to look at Sanah.

     “I love you,” sniffing, you engulfed your sister in a bone crunching hug.

“Ow, I love you too, gods when did you get so strong!” Sanah laughed and kissed your cheek.

  As quick as the memory came, it was chased away by the presence of your love sitting in his chair. Alone and looking peculiar, your heart reached out to him. Your hands followed suit and you fluttered towards him and pulled him from his seat.

 He was shocked, but something in his expression told you that that was exactly what he was waiting for.

You hadn’t had all that much to drink, but you weren’t used to the effects. You trusted the people in this room so much that your tongue let loose.

The words left your throat before you could think. You didn’t care if they were too forward, or wrong, or ill-thought.

“Do you still want me?”

   Those very words made Otto’s eyebrows furrow and pull together.

“Why would you ask such a thing?”

    “You haven’t sought me out.” Your words felt so vulnerable. You never thought of yourself as someone who guarded their feelings. Who hid behind a wall. And yet, these words felt too exposed. The fear of being rejected was like ice down your spine.

“I thought you didn’t want me to.” The room was quiet.

   “No, I wanted you to come to me. I always want you to come to me.” Your fears were put out like a candle.

“I’m sorry I didn’t. Truly. I-I wanted to,” his hand found your own. Hesitantly, he took it in his own. “When you left that morning, I thought that meant you didn’t want me, to see me, to be near me.”

   You let his words stay in the air for a few moments, as you stood in front of each other. Face to face, it felt like you were the only two people in the room. His large hand engulfed your own and it reminded you of that night.

You thought about the way he caressed you, gripped you, held and clutched onto your skin. You knew he had the same desire because he inched closer to you. Closer and closer until he was mere centimetres away from your lips.

  He waited, and you knew what he wanted to hear.

“Kiss me,” you whispered.

Like a ship crashing onto shore, his lips were upon yours with a fierce passion. One hand held your head in place, and the other was on your waist, pulling you towards him. The kiss lasted both seconds and years.

 When you pulled apart, Otto looked around for Sanah and Ormund, but they were no longer in the room.

  “We’re alone,” he whispered.

You shuddered and smiled.

   “Thank the gods,” you said, and you were upon him once again.

                                                             -✶-

Clothes were discarded and your naked bodies were on the lounge. The fire dwindled as Otto pushed himself inside your wet core. Your nipples were hard as Otto bit and sucked. You had already given your full, whole-hearted consent. He wouldn’t do this unless he heard those words. Otto always respected you, and your body. Enough to constantly ask for your approval. His heart would truly break if he ever hurt you.

The night’s hour was truly late, and you knew tomorrow would come soon. But you didn’t care.

 You had been thinking about this moment for days. The length of him, the way he filled you, made you whole. You felt very empty without him. Both emotionally and physically. You looked at Otto, wish his broad shoulders above you, almost shielding you from the world. His chest had spirals of black, and his nipples were small yet also perked.

 Before he started to pump in and out of you, he said three words. Ones that you knew solidified your relationship.  

       “I love you.”

You blushed, and your body bloomed red.