#orcboss

The Eradicon squad is just a clanking pile of problematic content, so

Avi is an annoying health nut

Scramble would rather die than compliment his friends in earnest

Nova isn’t paying attention half the time

Helix thinks Starscream is a good role model

Winder will not stop telling puns

Shrimp

thinks that someday he’ll grow facial hair

actively avoids getting in scraps, very un-orc-like

elbows like knives

adopts stray beasts of the darkness

Zabeth

has zero tact

probably wouldn’t have defected if Thace hadn’t first

still has one foot on the wrong side via caring about Galra troops

eats all your leftovers

I’ve already done Vela, but she has enough bad habits to go around.

listens to music way too loud

strong sense of her own personal space; no sense of yours

sits in chairs the wrong way, always

are human teeth supposed to be that sharp??

Ohoho, Mirana

magazine-pretty but dead inside

knows her captain is gay before he does, doesn’t tell him

out-villains local wannabe villain

“Well, anyhow,” Shrimp said officiously, “‘s mine now.”

It was hard to argue with that except by outright taking it, and no one in the band was sure they wanted the thing.  They’d never had the sheer luck to find a warg before, not on the run as they were, and they weren’t sure they’d had the luck now.

“Sure that ain’t a dog?” Urugol asked.

Lagduf grunted.  “If that’s a warg pup, I’ll eat my foot.”

“Well start chewin’!” Shrimp retorted.  “Just ‘cause he’s small don’t mean he ain’t a warg!  He’ll get bigger!”

The pup, whatever it was, whistle-whined at all the yelling.  Its black muzzle was on Shrimp’s lap, and the rest of its lanky body was sprawled off to one side.  Shrimp scratched behind his ears and it whuffed happily.

Slowly, the band turned to Shagrat.  He was bigger than the rest and so prone to being turned to.  He shrugged.  “Could be a runty warg.”  He scowled.  “Could be a big dog.”

“Big enough for Shrimp, then,” Snaga called, and they laughed.

The only LotR AU I have is Orcboss.  :)))))))))

Not a one of the orcs is romantically interested in Essie, but in some way she’s theirs and everyone else can bugger off.

They shout a lot when they run into orcs that are still aligned with Sauron, and terrible things are said all around, but at the end of the day that’s a lot less dangerous than running into humans or elves.

They never do like Faramir.  But they’ll keep him from dying and then hound him and his soldiers about it for ages.

At the time of the trilogy, the band stands at about two dozen.  They pick up a couple along the way.  At the end of the trilogy, when you’ve suddenly got a lot of orcs and no Big Boss... it becomes a lot of logistical work.

Spiky boy!!

You mean Shrimp!!  I understand.

Mokosh is probably the only person who calls him Gort instead of Shrimp.  Bless her.

Shrimp has so much to learn from her!  The art of being intimidating, the art of flirting with girls, the art of drinking more than one round of strong liquor.  They learn to be great wingmen for each other.

When he gets in trouble, he has a habit of pointing over his shoulder and going, “Yeah, but see, my friend ‘ere---”

I just realized that in all my orcboss AU writings, I've only ever written from the perspective of other parties.  It makes the realizations fun, but the orcs don't get much to say.  I'm here to fix that.

--------

Faramir's rangers accepted their captain's decision, and they made little enough trouble with their orc guests.  All the same, they did not welcome the creatures.  The orcs, for their part, kept together at a safe distance; they seemed to feel the same way about the rangers.

So over the weeks, the two forces circled each other about the shared space, never getting too near or speaking with each other outside necessity.  But they did watch each other, and closely.

This night, the rangers were gathered at a table eating.  Faramir and the woman captain of the orcs were speaking just outside but well in view.  Meanwhile, the orcs huddled similarly across the hall, talking amongst themselves and looking to the conversation outside with toothy sneers.  The rangers kept an eye on the orcs.  For who knew what dark schemes these monsters spoke of?

*

"Lookit him," Bargol spat.  Beside him, Wargha barked out a mirthless laugh around a mouthful of cheese.  "What's that tark think he's playing at, huh?"

Mob!AU Esselyn -

Name one or more of their bad habits.

She has a tendency to fidget. She doesn't like sitting still for very long. That, and she cracks her knuckles constantly.

Is there anything they are too optimistic about?

Essie is a more jaded character in this AU, simply because of what she's been through. However, she's always optimistic that she'll win any contest that the dwarves challenge her too. Just because she's arrogant.

When would they be too judgmental of someone or something?

When someone doesn't have the proper motivation to do something; she doesn't understand the purpose of doing something for the sake of doing it--because of past experiences, she knows that there is always a price for something.

Orc Boss Esselyn -

Some of their emotional shortcomings?

Essie has a tendency to let her anger get the best of her, simply because of the company she keeps. She is intolerant of those quick to judge based on things others have led them to believe.

What are their intellectual shortcomings?

While Essie is a brilliant strategist, her intellectual shortcomings belong in the realm of social interaction--beyond her own group of mercenaries. She is strong with leadership, but lacks the social skills and, well, general know-how in terms of interacting with those beyond her own party.

Are they ever a pushover about something? If so, how?