#open yourself

There are things I've seen, that I didn't want to believe. Memories within my mind that I wished were lies, as much as I tried reality still stood, as much as I tried to forget I never could. So I opened myself, I didn't take a peak... I pored my soul out no longer a vase with a leak. I refilled myself with wonder and power, rebuilt my mind, a new seed to a flower. I don't become my emotions, I don't become my thoughts. I create my own reality, I learn from the sacred teachings forever taught.

“Changing things in your life, for the better, is probably the most obnoxious, uncomfortable, scary, refreshing, exhausting and rejuvenating feeling in the entire world. Lately, I have been trying really hard to change the little things that I never really thought mattered, in my life. Such as unfollowing people on social media who make me question my own self-worth. My own beauty. Such as opening up to new people, healthy people, people who I know would lift me up, people who have different views and opinions than me and people who look at life completely different. It’s hard allowing yourself to bend over backwards and opening up your belly exposing your heart in such different way. Not exposing your heart in the way of love, but exposing your heart to new feelings and new emotions. Exposing your heart and your mind and your soul to people who could lift you up and people who can and will make you a better person in the future. That shit is scary! It isn’t easy showing parts of yourself to people who you know will take those parts in their hands and kiss them better. It’s scary showing people your scars and showing people The dark corners of your mind and knowing that they will take all of those stories and all of those corners and love you anyways. It’s scary because you’re used to having people turn the other cheek. You’re used to people taking those things and creating more brokenness instead of healing. It’s scary because you’re used to people making you feel so little because of the things you get brave enough to share. On one side of my mind I want that so bad and thrive to have people like that in my life and then on the other side of my mind I want to build this huge wall up and not let anybody in because my past screams in my face and all of my hurt rushes back and tries to stop me from ever exposing those parts of me ever again. But when that happens, when our past hurt and heart ache stand up in front of us to face us, to try and scare us away that’s when we have to grab it by the throat and scream back. That’s when we get to show our courage and to prove to ourselves to that part of us that we are so much more than how other people have treated us and how other people have made us feel about ourselves. So, with that being said, I challenge you to open up your bellies and expose your hurt and expose your pain and expose your past, dark corners. You are so much braver than you give yourself credit for. It’s taking me a long time to realize that and I’m still slowly realizing that about myself and about my own strength.🖤”

Apriti - Open yourself