#ooooofff

Luo Wenzhou putting his heart on the line and Fei Du ripping his guts out, including old pain and secrets and bearing it to him. That was a lot. The greater conspiracy and all the threads tied to so many people is complex and very dangerous.

But I'm going to hold onto these two parts.

Luo Wenzhou's father offering Fei Du familial support

And Luo Wenzhou confessing with his whole chest

I love these two and their messy, traumatic love.

They are each other's garden in the desert 🥹

Everytime the past is brought up and them finding each other I want to burst into tears and I don't think that will ever change.

NOW as for that kindled scene 😳😳

We all know what Xavier was doing down there, that was not subtle. 😳 Holy hell. 🔥 His gaze could melt a glacier and I'm living for it.

But also the way she climbed up on top of him, and all his breathing and whimpering, YEAH. This is a legendary scene. Erotic and romantic.

you ABSOLUTELY can!! 🥰

fuck you for ruining love for me (thiam)

Josh ran his index finger along his lower lip. “Then who is he?”

Liam lost himself in the gesture for a few seconds. It felt nice. “Who’s who?”

“The guy you slept with yesterday,” he clarified, curiosity crossing his dark eyes and his deep, warm voice. His soft features indicated his calm. He wasn’t mad that Liam had stood him up for Theo.

the monster in me loves the monster in you (liam x kira x theo)

“What if I don’t like guys, huh?” Theo challenged, his chest puffed out in false confidence. It wouldn’t make a difference, he knew, but he didn’t want to be under the orders of either of them. Theo couldn’t help but get into arguments that Liam and Kira found laughable. “Are you going to make me?”

Liam was the one leaning against the doorframe this time, watching, while Kira was crouched in front of him. A wicked, knowing smile had taken over his lips.

“Oh, you like guys, yes. I’ve met two of your exes.”

ain’t it funny how i’ma gonna have the last laugh? (allison x tracy x erica/thiam)

“What are you looking at, you freak?” Liam growled at her, books neatly arranged in his arms, two steps away from her.

She didn’t answer, just lowered her head and headed in the opposite direction from Theo. Tracy didn’t want to be the target of any more mockery from Liam—who was irritated, so it was best not to poke the bear anymore, even if it meant avoiding her own locker.

theo kidnapped again (thiam)

“You fucking drugged me!” Theo growled—or at least tried to—the dizziness making the room spin. He wasn’t seeing clearly. He was pretty sure this guy didn’t have two heads—at least he hoped not. “It was you, wasn’t it? At the club. I knew something was up…” Theo muttered to himself, trying to piece together the night, but to no avail. The place was cloudy and the background music was muffled. That was all he could remember.

sceo moodboard (sceo)

“I’m not, uh, in my best clothes.” But Scott was barely paying attention because he couldn’t stop staring (admiring) at the veins bulging on Theo’s biceps, sweat clinging to his arms, making his skin glow. Best clothes? Pft. He was sure that if it were any other mechanic anywhere else, he wouldn’t look as good as Theo did. In fact, Scott was sure Theo would look good in any outfit. Probably without it, too. “...and can I help you with anything?” And only then did Scott realize he hadn’t heard anything his friend had said.

i won’t fade away (this life is mine to live) lydia & theo

It would be great if he could have a peaceful night. No cops, no nightmares. It seemed too much to ask after all the harm he had caused, but he couldn’t help but want to live without fear. It’s always been about this, hasn’t it? Living without fear. Fear of masked ghosts haunting him in the middle of the night, fear of asthma attacks, fear of heart disease leading to his death. Fear of the punishments, of all the surgeries and exhausting, hallucinogenic days to become the alpha he so longs to be, with his own pack, powerful, free. If only he could see the future back then... Maybe living with the possibility of heart disease would be better than this. Scared. Helpless. No family. No one. Lonely.

How ridiculous.

Wrapped in his own stinking depression.

i’ll make you fall in love—a spell that can’t be broken (liam x kira)

“You killed people,” she whispered, trying to escape his beautiful eyes. Why did he have such beautiful, bright blue eyes? He killed people! He wasn’t supposed to be handsome. Kira had to leave and pretend it never happened. She couldn’t be caught at the crime scene, being there was not only scary enough, but also dangerous for her.

“You get used to it.” And not a trace of remorse was detected in his voice. Liam was cruel. Two murders, and his face was impassive. The blood on his clothes didn’t even make him wrinkle his nose.

I was last in Japan in the beginning of 2020, just a month and a half shy before most countries locked down due to COVID-19. And before that, I was last back here in the autumn of 2012, when I was still a college student studying abroad and living on my own for the first time.

I don’t know how to explain it in any way other than it’s mixed feelings. On the hand, I always think to myself that this may be the last time I’m here, since I want to visit other places one day, but then on the other hand, I always somehow find my way back.

I don’t know if I’d ever make the choice to live here, but I will admit that there may be a part of me that never left this place when I first came here in 2012. Part of the growing up I did to be who I am today took place here, after all.

“ so, i’m gonna fight it ‘til i can’t fight it anymore. and when all is said and done… i’ll go down swinging.”