#oof babe

Baz turns back around in time to see Dev emerge from the coffee shop section of the store, looking just as worn out as Baz feels. He has put in countless hours helping me get this place set up. Niall, too. Baz isn’t sure he could have done this without them.

“Hey, Baz,” Dev says as he walks closer. “Let’s get out of here. There isn’t much more that we can do. Let’s go celebrate.”

“Celebrate what? We aren’t even open yet.”

“But you will be in a week.”

“I don’t want to celebrate prematurely. Do you have any idea how many things could go wrong before then? If we have another break in, we might not be able to open.

It has actually been a few weeks since the last time someone broke into the store, but Baz knows that it could happen again. He has imagined every bad thing that could happen before next Saturday that would cause them not to be able to open, and it keeps him up most nights.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Dev says. “You’ve said it all everyday for weeks. Celebrating might be the wrong idea, but you definitely need to get out. Drink, let loose a bit. The stress is going to kill you if you don’t slow down every once in a while.”

Baz sighs. Dev has a point, but what he doesn’t know is that Baz has been out every night this week.

Away from his father and his constant watch over him, Baz has branched out in more than one area of his life. He finds it freeing to be able to walk into a bar or a club and pull some random guy, barely even bothering to learn his name before their hands are roaming each other’s bodies, and Baz is letting the guy pleasure him into forgetting everything that is going on.

Baz is done trying to make a deeper connection with people or get anyone to care about him. It was time for him to start something new on his own, so that’s what he’s doing. Getting attached to people is a mistake, which is why he doesn’t do it. They only even end up disappointing you, but if you just spend one night with a guy, it is exponentially harder for them to do that.

Baz never called back last night’s fling, and he doesn’t plan to. He deletes their number before telling Dev that he’ll go drinking. They lock up for the night and head to a bar on the opposite side of town where Niall will be waiting for them.

They stop by Baz’s place so that he can change into something nicer, and he pulls his hair down from its bun, allowing it to fall down around his face. There’s no use messing with it any more than that if some guy is just going to wreck it within the hour.

***

An hour and several drinks later, Baz finds himself getting lost in the mass of people out on the dance floor. This is one of few times that he just lets go and allows himself to just enjoy the moment. The stress of running his own business and the memories of countless arguments with his father wash away, and the only thing he’s thinking about is the beat of the music and which guy he’d most like to take home tonight.

Baz dances for a while, and when he opens his eyes at one point to take in the people around him, he finds himself staring into too familiar blue eyes.

Simon Snow is standing just a few feet away, and he’s looking at Baz.

As soon as they make eye contact, Simon turns and disappears into the ground. Baz briefly considers going after him to make sure that he wasn’t imagining things, but he stops himself. He isn’t going to allow himself to get messed up with Simon again. He’s past that.

Getting drunk and dancing with strangers has practically become habit with Baz, but this is something new. It throws him off. After that bit of shock, he loses the beat, and it no longer feels like he’s just dancing with strangers.

At least, that’s what he tells himself. It is definitely not because any old feelings have been dredged up just by seeing a guy from his past.

Baz hasn’t seen Simon since high school. Things weren’t always easy between them, but during their senior year of high school, Baz had begun to think that things were getting easier, that we were becoming something close to friends.

There was even a moment when Baz thought…but then Simon just ghosted him.

He wouldn’t return any of Baz’s texts. He avoided him in the hall and during lunch, and he moved seats in all of their classes so that he wouldn’t have to be anywhere near Baz.

Baz tried to talk to him once about what happened, cornering him in the parking lot one day after school, but Simon wouldn’t talk to him. Baz wanted to hit something. He wanted to yell at Simon. He wanted to demand that they sit down and talk about what happened, but Simon refused to say a word.

He just set his jaw and stared at a spot off to the side until Baz got tired of talking with no response and finally walked away.

He hasn’t tried to talk to Simon since that day. He thought he had left town after graduation. He was either woefully misinformed, or Simon is back in town.

Either way, it doesn’t spell good things for Baz. It never does.

After Simon disappears, walking away without saying a word, Baz tries to find his groove again, but it proves to be impossible.

This guy’s eyes are the wrong shade of blue. That guys clothes are too nice. And that one’s hair is all wrong.

Now, everywhere that Baz looks, he sees people who aren’t Simon, and no matter how good they might be in bed, it doesn’t seem worth going home with them. They all pale in comparison to the only guy Baz has ever been in love with.

Finally, after another half hour passes, Baz decides to give up and just go home. He pulls out his phone and calls a cab as he exits the bar because he doesn’t think he can face Dev and Niall after this. They will immediately sense that something is up, and the way that Baz feels is so ridiculous that he doesn’t want to have to talk to them about it, so he shoots them a quick text telling them that he’s headed home and thanking them for a night out.

Then, he spends the night trying to forget about Simon but unable to.

He barely sleeps and is in a terrible mood the next morning. It’s a good thing that he doesn’t plan to go into the store until that afternoon, after he has gotten some much needed coffee in him.

After breakfast, Baz receives some news that lifts his mood a bit. One of the people that has been an integral part of getting this shop off the round thinks that she has found him a new hire, and he knows better than to doubt Penelope Bunce.

Baz didn’t realize that it would be so difficult to find people to work for him. He’s a week away from opening, and he still doesn’t have enough employees.

There have been more than a few times when he has begun to wonder if his father was right, even now when he’s so close.

But no. He can’t think like that.

He can’t let his father bring him down, not when he is so close to finally opening his own business.

He has to prove his father wrong, show him that this was the right decision and that he did not make a mistake when he decided to venture out on his own.

He sends Penelope a text, telling her to have the applicant be at the shop at one that afternoon for an interview.

He figures that if the applicant is serious about wanting to work there, he will make the time to be there, even if it is on such short notice.

***

Baz is going to kill Penelope.

He should have known better than to trust Simon’s best friend from school, but her help has been indispensable. But maybe he should have been suspicious when she didn’t give him the applicant's name. He didn’t think he had any reason to be suspicious, though. He didn’t think that she would send Simon Snow to his doorstep.

Baz sees Simon through the door, standing there and waiting for Baz to let him in, and Baz almost turns around and hides in the back. Almost. But he isn’t that childish, so he walks over and opens the door.

Fortunately, Simon seems to be just as surprised to see him there, so maybe Penelope was keeping the truth from the both of them.

“Sorry,” Simon says. “I think I’m in the wrong place.

Baz twists his mouth into a sneer and pushes a hand through his hair. “No, I don’t think you are.”

“Oh. It’s just that Penny – my friend – said that this place was hiring. I didn’t realize that you worked here.”

It’s interesting that it seems like Penny didn’t say anything to Simon about this. Baz just has one question: why did she send Simon here?

“I don’t work here,” Baz says.

“Oh.”

“I own it.” Baz has to admit that he enjoys the look on Simon’s face when he says it.

“Oh. I guess I should just go then.” He starts to turn away, but Baz stops him.

“Wait. I can’t have you getting me into trouble for not giving you a fair interview.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

Baz makes a noncommittal sound in response, not really believing him. “Come on in, and we’ll talk.”

He leads Simon to a seating area at the back of the shop and quietly looks over his resume and application. They’re both crumpled from being stuffed in his pocket, but at least he thought to bring them with him. (Probably also Penny’s doing.)

Baz wants to turn Simon away, but he hasn’t received any other applications as of yet. No one wants to work at an independent bookstore, especially one such as Baz’s. Dev agreed to be a temporary barista, but Baz needs to hire other people if he wants to be able to open on Saturday.

Baz silently stares at Simon’s references and such for a long time before he finally looks up at Simon again.

He thinks about it for another long moment before he says, “Do you know what this place is?”

“A bookstore?”

“Yes and no. It is a safe space for everyone, but especially those of the LGBTQ+ community. There are not a lot of places where we can go and be open and feel welcome, so I set out to create such a place. I want anyone to be able to walk in here and feel like they have a place where they belong. Whether they have a label or choose not to use on. Whether they are out or in the closet or questioning. I want them to be able to come in here and find answers to those questions and to meet others like them and not feel so alone.”

Baz pauses for a moment to make sure that Simon is still listening before he continues. “Yes, this is a bookstore, but it is so much more than that. There is a café, but there is also this comfortable area where people can sit and read books that they may be worried about their parents seeing them with. Now, I know you may be thinking that it won’t be profitable, but I don’t care about the money. I care about making everyone feel safe and welcome.”

“Actually, I was thinking that that is amazing.”

It’s not quite the response that Baz was expecting. He didn’t know what Simon would say, but he didn’t think that it would be that he liked this place.

Simon turns his head to look around the store, and Baz looks with him, wondering what it looks like through his eyes.

At first glance, it may seem like an ordinary bookstore, but if you look carefully at all of the details, various section titles can be seen above different shelves that hold books on different LGBTQ+ resources, and there are all different kinds of pride flags hanging on the wall.

There are a lot of non-fiction books that Baz is hoping will be informational to those who need them, but there is a large fiction section as well. There are books whose authors and/or main characters are part of the LGBTQ+ community. Even the names of the drinks in the café have a theme to them. Then, there’s the seating area where we are currently at. It is situated at the back of the store, out of view from the front windows so that people can hopefully have a sense of privacy while they read. Baz wanted everything to be perfect.

Simon turns back to him, and he seems to be whispering to himself as he says, “It truly is amazing.”

That is when Baz makes up his mind about him.

“So, when can you start working?”

“What?” Simon asks, obviously surprised. “You only asked the one question, and I got it wrong.”

“It was your response to what I said afterward that I was looking for. Your resume isn’t too shabby either. Is there any way that you can start tomorrow? There is still a lot to do before we open, and I would like you to familiarize yourself with the place.”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Simon says, seeming a little confused, but that quickly turns into excitement as Baz talks with him about some things about the store he’ll need to know before he starts working.

Ten minutes later, they’re shaking hands, and Simon is on his way.

Baz is feeling a little better now that he has someone to work the sales floor with him. A couple of part-time people will need to be hired as well, but this seems like a good first step.

Baz can’t wait until they open.

***

It is finally opening day, and things are going better than expected. Baz had only hoped for a dozen or so people to come for the opening, but there have been groups of people moving in and out all day.

It started pouring down rain just before noon, and that helped drive people into his shop who were looking to get out of the rain, but people also seem to be genuinely interested in what the place has to offer.

They have made way more sales than Baz expected them to. He thought that people would simply come in, look around to see what the place was about, and then leave, maybe buying a coffee if they felt so inclined.

But it has been so much more than that.

Baz has been walking around helping people find things on the topics they are interested in and recommending some of his personal favorite books and discussing things with people who had any questions he thought he might be able to answer.

Niall came in to help Dev out in the café, and Baz has heard a lot of whispering about how cute they are. It’s just too bad that they are happily engaged to each other.

Things between Baz and Simon have been a little awkward this past week, but they work surprisingly well together.

Simon is hardworking and has gone above and beyond to help Baz, staying late into the evenings to get things set up and read to go. Baz has been there with him every second of it, and he hasn’t been able to think about anyone but him in days.

As Baz walks around the store, helping customers, he can’t help but watch Simon out of the corner of his eye. He bounces between the cash register and talking animatedly to customers, and he seems to really enjoy being here.

Baz has to admit that he is actually glad that Penny sent him his way. (Although, a warning still would have been nice.)

The rain clears late in the afternoon, about an hour before closing time, and a rainbow can be seen from inside the store. It’s beautiful, and Baz is delighted in how well the store has done on its first day, but by the time they lock up for the day, he only has eyes for Simon.

Baz and Simon quietly clean up the store together, straightening shelves and putting away a few stray books that are lying around, and just as Simon is about to leave for the night, Baz gets up the nerve to ask him if he would like to go for drinks.

“Are you busy tonight?”

“I was just going to head home.”

“Dev, Niall, and I were going to head out to a bar to celebrate a successful first day. You can come along if you would like.”

Simon’s smile is hesitant, but he says, “Yeah, that, um, sounds nice.”

“Cool. Ask Penny if she would like to come along, too. She was highly instrumental in getting this place open and advertising it to people.”

“She was?” Simon asks, raising both brows.

Baz nods. “Yes.”

Penny handled the creation of the shop’s website and the social media aspects, getting this place noticed and advertising the grand opening so that hopefully people will show up to it.

She helped find artists to commission for the artwork that lines the walls in between and above the bookshelves. She also helped design the pride buttons that will sit in a little bowl at the front and the merchandise that is going to be sold over by the coffee area. Baz could not have accomplished any of this without her.

He and Simon head out together, Dev and Niall following closely behind, and even though Baz is a little nervous about being around Simon outside of work, he’s a little excited, too.

***

They all gather to celebrate in the same bar as last week, and after one drink, Baz decides that he has had enough to drink. He’s worried about what stupid things he might do or say with Simon right there, sitting at the table with their mix of friends. Especially when all he can think about is pulling Simon into a dark corner and kissing him senseless.

To avoid what would be an immensely stupid act, Baz gets up and goes out to the dance floor, letting the music take him in. He closes his eyes as he dances to song after song, not caring about any of the people who surround him. He is ready to let go for the night.

After a while, Baz feels a shift in the pace around him. He isn’t quite sure what it is until he opens his eyes and finds Simon standing directly in front of him, and he finds himself once again surprised to be staring into the eyes of Simon Snow.

Simon has this strange expression on his face as he starts to dance with Baz, attempting to move to the music with him. He makes a big show of his movements, but he is actually quite terrible at it. He can’t even keep to the beat.

After a couple of long minutes of simply watching him, Baz places his hands on Simon’s hips and begins to guide his movements.

It doesn’t quite fix Simon’s dancing, but it does help it, and they begin moving together, drifting closer and closer together until they are practically pressed up against each other.

Baz startles at the first touch of Simon’s lips to his skin, but then he leans into it. Simon’s lips graze along Baz’s jaw, and Baz wonders if he should protest since they are in public, but it feels too good. Baz is lost in his touch.

Simon’s lips start to move, and Baz knows exactly what he plans to do. Their lips are just a breath apart when Baz places his hands on Simon’s chest to stop him. “Not here.”

Simon looks at him with a confused smile, and Baz squeezes his hand.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Simon nods, and they make their way out to Baz’s car. Neither of them has drunk much, but Baz feels a weird, electric energy coursing through him.

“Not here either,” he repeats once they’re in his car and Simon starts to lean towards him.

Baz starts the car and puts it in drive. He pulls out of the parking lot and starts towards his place, no idea what he’s going to do when they get there. Is he really taking Simon all the way to his apartment so that they can share one kiss and forget about it again?

He really shouldn’t be kissing his employees, but it’s Simon. Simon isn’t just some employee. He’s the love of Baz’s life.

And Baz cannot let this turn out like last time. He wants to have more. He needs to know that Simon wants more, or he can’t do this.

Just as he is about to reach the turn for his place, Baz turns the opposite direction and heads away from it.

There is a park nearby where they can sit and talk.

Simon looks confused as Baz parks, but he doesn’t say anything as Baz gets out of the car and moves towards the park entrance. He just follows after him.

Baz doesn’t want to have this conversation while they’re cooped up in his car. Luckily, there are only a few people at the park this late, especially since it rained all day, so they can have some privacy.

Baz leads them over to the swings, flipping the seat over to the drier side before sitting down. Simon tilts his head at him, frowning slightly.

“What are you doing?”

“Swinging. I think we should talk before we… Before this goes any further. And it’s a nice night, so come swing with me.”

“Alright.”

Simon takes the swing beside him, and Baz pushes off the ground, moving back and forth slowly so that he can still talk to Simon as he swings.

“What did you want to talk about exactly?”

“The kiss.”

“What kiss?”

Baz grinds his teeth together and squeezes his eyes shut, reminding himself that getting angry isn’t going to help anything.

“Oh,” Simon says before Baz can respond. “That kiss.”

“Yes. That kiss.”

“Do we really need to talk about that? It was so long ago.”

“We do because I still don’t understand what happened or why you quit talking to me.”

Simon groans and pushes off the ground forcefully. He swings for a minute before he finally responds.

“You know what happened. I kissed, you hated it, and we stopped being friends.”

“I—. What? I didn’t hate it. And we didn’t ‘stop being friends.’ You quit talking to me, and I had no idea why.”

“Because I was afraid that we would go back to the constant arguing and that you would use that kiss against me. And I didn’t want to—. Wait. You didn’t hate it.”

Baz sighs, staring at the ground as he lets his swinging slow until his feet are dragging on the ground.

“Of course, not. I had been wanting to kiss you for a long time, and when that finally happened, you disappeared. You quit talking to me, and I didn’t know what to think except that you thought it was a mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mistake.” He speaks quietly, and Baz barely hears him.

“What?”

“It wasn’t a mistake,” he repeats, louder this time. He turns to meet Baz’s eyes as he continues. “I liked kissing you, and I wanted to do it again. But I thought you didn’t like it.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“I was afraid of getting hurt. And I now realize that I hurt you by doing that, so I’m sorry.”

Baz stares at him quietly for a long time. He isn’t sure what to say to that, but maybe he doesn’t have to say anything.

Sliding off the swing, Baz moves to stand in front of Simon. He holds his hands out and pulls Simon to his feet.

He searches Simon’s eyes for any sign that this could end badly, but he isn’t sure. All he knows is that he wants to take the chance. He wants to kiss Simon and go from there.

So, he does.

He leans forwards and kisses Simon carefully, pulling him into his arms and holding him tightly.

Simon kisses him back eagerly, jutting his jaw forward and making Baz’s knees weak as he deepens the kiss.

This kiss feels right. It feels like it’s full of hope and the possibility of something new.