In which she realises that if her life doesnât involve him then she doesnât want it.
Warnings: Attempt of suicide and parent abuse.
Words: 1,7K
A/n: Iâm really happy with how this turn out, so I hope you guys like it! :)
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Trapped. Thatâs what the ring feels like. A constant remainder that the days are coming to an end and the ceremony approximates slowly, and then, when sheâll be wearing a white dress she picked with her mother a week ago and sheâll be carrying flowers in her hand, her life-long sentence will begin. And sheâll be his forever, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health until death brings them apart.Â
A commitment sheâs not willing to take, ...at least not with him. Just as if it was a mockery to her tragic life, the bracelet complements perfectly with the white diamond ring, silver and gold, two different things, different promises, different persons.
It was right there, in the fallen trunk next to the pond sheâs facing where he gifted it to her.Â
He parted from her lips, his hand travelling to the back pocket of his pants as her eyes followed curiously. âZayn, what are you doin-?â, he shushed her with one of his fingers on her swollen lips, the increasing moon shining in her eyes. âPromise meâ, he said as he opened her palm and laid the delicate bracelet on her hand, her gaze fell on the jewellery, she was surprised to say the least, but also concerned-- couldnât help herself from wondering how on earth did Zayn obtained the silver bracelet. âPromise you what?â, she asked looking back at him. His hands worked unclipping the metal and clipping it back again around her small wrists, his fingertips caressing them lovingly when he finished. âPromise me youâll consider us.â
Thatâs all she can do, dream about âwhat ifâ and imagine them--us. But deep down, where reality lies and fairytales are just fairytales, she knows she canât have him.
âHow dare you?!â, the cold words of her father echoed on the room followed by the harsh sound of the glass of wine crashing on the wooden floor, âhow dare you?!â Tears streamed down her face, the wish of comprehension blurring her sight. âDad, I donât love him!â, she tried to make her father understand. â--I won't hear it!â, he yelled, her mother watching from her seat in the dinner table, âWhen are you going to understand? You donât make decisions around here!â âDad, pleaseâ, she pleaded, âZayn--.â Slap. Her mother stood up abruptly but when her eyes met her husbandâs she sat down again and watched her daughter bring a hand to her red bruised face. âYou donât ever say his name again. Understood?â, her fatherâs defiant tone was no stranger to Y/n. Silence broke in the room, but she had no other choice, she gulped down her words and nodded. âNow, you are going to clean your face, and you will go look for Will and youâll apologise to him and declare that you were confused and that you love him. And youâll marry him.â
Love is a strange feeling Y/n decides as she sits on the fallen trunk, her fingertips brushing against the old dried crust, her hair swinged to the side as the cold wind of November blows against her figure. She looks up the sky painted with small bright stars. Love can change your perspective, change you.Â
Love is different for each person. Her love is black-haired, glowing dark eyes, thick contagious smile and even more contagious laugh. Her love was unexpected, crept into her life from the shadows of big houses and luxury. Her love is Zayn and no one can deny it. They can yell at her all they want, slap at her if they wish, but she wonât ever deny it.Â
She loves Zayn and she doesnât mind shouting it to the four winds.
However, each day the ring in her hand becomes heavier and the stollen kisses with the craftsmanâs son becomes rarer. She canât take it anymore, not when he watches as she holds Willâs hands and the rich boy pampers her with things Zayn could never grant her. But thatâs what they donât understand, jewellery and money wonât ever buy love.Â
Their love is like a strong flashlight in the middle of chaos and dark. The truest thing in her life that has always been filled with lies and superficialities. He is her flashlight, illuminating her and helping her see what life is truly about. At first, Y/n opposed strongly against him, she is Y/n L/n for Godâs sake!, daughter of a millionaire and prodigy child, and Zayn..., well Zayn is Zayn. Except he is not, Zayn is many things, but above all Y/nâs most important person.
After the gold ring slipped on her finger she lost him. Never a real goodbye, just a âIâll see yaâ when I can.â
The grass tickles her bare feet and she clutches her sweater closer to her body. Y/n wonders as she leans on the pond, her face reflected on the liquid mirror, if the water is cold. She deeps a foot on the pond before pulling it out of the water, thatâs a lie, she already knew it was cold. She wonders a different thing, and before she can think twice--because sheâs tired of thinking-- she takes a last breath before jumping in.
The coldness first threatens her to resurface, but she fights it off ignoring the fact that little by little her joints begin to freeze, sparing her from feeling anything outside her body. Then the burning begins, quick and overwhelming as soon as it starts, a fire that first lies on her chest, her lungs begging her to inhale. Then the burning spreads to her whole body, every organism catching fire until she feels it reach her head, granting her the last feeling of water pouring inside of her before being covered in a thick blanket of darkness and emptiness.
Until death do them apart.
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Zayn stared for a while at the white shape inside the pond, not exactly sure at what he was staring but he was hoping she would come soon.Â
âI had to promise him!â, she had cried wrapped in his arms, âI had to promise him I will marry Will.â He had tensed when those words came out of her mouth, but as soon as a sob fell from her lips he ordered himself to relax again. âDonât worry. Try to calm down, loveâ, he soothed at her while brushing down the knots of her hair, their figures hidden behind the tall trees of the woods. âI swear Zayn. I swear I consider us everyday, Iâm not giving up! Maybe we can leave, grab a few things and never look back. My father wonât ever give in!â He shook his head, he was well-aware of how selfish he was being. It was inevitable, they would never end up together, but he just tried to steal fate a little more time with her.
He started moving his leg up and down, sitting on the fallen trunk he eyed his old watch--maybe she was just late-- before staring back again at the white dot inside the pond. It looked almost like a piece of fabric, a white dress perhaps... Thatâs when he realises that maybe he wasnât waiting for her, but she had waited for him.Â
He stood up so abruptly he stumbled against his own feet, practically running closer to the pond. And there she was. Her lifeless body suspended inside the water, still dressed in her white dress and blue sweater that flowed. He barely had time to think before jumping in, the rush of coldness engulfing his body but far less important than the though that maybe he just lost her.Â
Pulling her out of the water might had been easier if he wasnât terrified, his heart pounding each time faster and stronger, almost making him think that it could burst out. âY/n?â, he asked cupping her cheeks with both his hands, his hair dripping and small steam coming out of his mouth against the cold weather. But it was worthless, she didnât respond and he didnât think she would.Â
Her lips were tinted blue, her skin the palest he had ever seen and the veins in her face visible. He proceeded to fill in her lungs by placing his mouth against her frozen one, he felt her chest come up and then down as he did mouth-to-mouth breathing. âCome on, Y/n. Come on!â, he pleaded, tears pricking at his eyes as he brushed her wet  hair out of her face, he breathed before starting again.Â
Time was running out and he was aware of this, thinking that maybe he had been too late. Zayn would never forgive himself. And just before he was about to give up, breathless and tired, she coughed. He swore he had never heard such beautiful sound before.Â
âMy lord, Y/nâ, he breathe out as he helped her sit up, water coming out of her mouth like a river. He cupped her cold hands with his own while he used the other to rub circles in her back, âwhat in the name of God were you thinking?â, he finally letted himself cry. The though of loosing her far too overwhelming.
The words fell out of her mouth minutes after, her body wrapped against Zaynâs, they shouldnât have stayed there for long in the cold night of November, but they couldnât think straight either, the emotions far too strong, âI just realised that if my life does not involve you then I donât want it.â
They were hard words for Zayn, but they were the most sincere ones someone had ever told him, so he thanked himself for being just in time. âI promised you that I would consider us, and I didâ, she continued bringing her weak hand to his hair, ânow I ask you to promise me that youâll give us a chance, a real one.â
So he promised, he promised even if it meant packing things quickly and leaving the past to welcome an unpredictable future. And the gold ring drowned forever in the pond, never seen again.
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The One Direction Fanfics Directory is now up and running! Iâve also added the Authors page.Â
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You and your husband Louis were just watching a random TV show in the living room. When suddenly Louis speaks. âBabe how do you feel about having kids?âLou asks. âI want kids for sure but I just havenât really thought about.âYou say.  âOh well do you want to talk about it now?âHe asks. âSure why not.â âJust to make sure you actually want to have kids with me right?âHe asks. âWell of course I do if I didnât I donât think I would have married you.âYou say. âGee thanks but now that, that is all cleared up do you know how many kids you want?âHe asks. I donât know maybe two or three, how many kids do you want?â âThree to five.â Omg Louis thatâs a lot of kids!âYou exclaim. âL know but theyâre so cute and small.âHe says. âYeah they are but you still add in to factor that babies are expensive and youâre always on tour.âYou point out. âItâs okay if theyâre expensive and weâre going to slow down so we have time for our families.âLou says. âOkay, but for now can we just worry about having one?âYou ask. âOkay all I ask is that you think about.âHe says. âIâll think about.â