#on tolerance

 ‘We’re all equals’ is a phrase commonly uttered when talking about tolerance. Gay, straight or somewhere in between, Caucasian, black or Asian, male or female, we are all humans, and we all have rights. The goal of this is to make sure everyone can feel accepted and loved in our society. But by doing so, we are in essence contradicting ourselves. Homophobes, for example, are seen as something bad; a bunch of idiots trying to take basic human rights away from LGBT+ people. The same goes for racists and sexists. They are seen as people fighting that unlimited tolerance, and are therefore seen as people who should not be tolerated, putting limits on that ‘unlimited’ tolerance.

 Basically; by standing up for one group of people, we’re talking another group down. By supporting one group of people, we leave another group alone. And by trying to make one person feel better, we make another person feel worse about himself. As far as I can see, this isn’t the kind of ‘tolerance’ people were talking about when the idea first came up. This is just racism backwards.

 So is this all just an overreaction? Yes and no. The current idea of tolerance doesn’t match with its original ideals, that much is true. But as far as opinions, and the expressions thereof, are concerned, there should be a line. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean you can’t use common sense. There are basic rules of interaction most people learned in kindergarten, and those same rules are laid down every time you go to a new school. Be nice, don’t do to others what you wouldn’t do to yourself, and we’re all equals. These are the baseline for tolerance. So how did all of this get so confused?

 Back to the point; freedom of speech and common sense, or why sometimes you just have to hold your tongue. Let’s give you an example: Jenna and Ethan are 2 kids who go to the same school. Jenna is a Christian, and Ethan is an atheist; their beliefs clash like water and fire. Yet they are still friends. This is what part of society think the principle of tolerance should be about; people getting along great despite their cultural differences. This is what causes people who think Jenna and Ethan shouldn’t be friends to feel neglected. 'Untolerated', as you will.

 But let’s give you another example: Andrew and Rob, again 2 kids who go to the same school, and again a Christian and an atheist. Andrew thinks people whose beliefs don’t match with his are idiots, and Rob can’t understand how someone can believe in anything but the truth and science. Needless to say, they aren’t friends. But that doesn’t mean that Andrew goes around slamming Rob into lockers, or that Rob purposely screws up the group project the 2 of them were forced to work on. They don’t like each other at all, but they can be civil towards one another. And that’s the point tolerance is trying to make.

 Tolerance is not about hating someone who doesn’t agree with you; in fact, that’s pretty much the opposite of what tolerance is. It’s about being civil and acting human towards one another, no matter what their beliefs are or what they look like. Bullying is wrong. No matter if the person you’re bullying and degrading is the bastard child of Paris Hilton and Lord Voldemort; it is, and always will be, wrong.

 There’s still is a line to be drawn. We may all be equals, but as I said before; freedom of speech doesn’t mean you can’t use common sense. Some opinions are best kept to yourself. Not liking people, and stating that, is perfectly fine. Saying you hate someone, borderline case. But if you keep saying things like ‘all black people should be exterminated’, or just telling someone to kill himself because that person is a ‘freak of nature’, that is just not done. It’s wrong and you know it (Basic rules from kindergarten, anyone?), and behaviour like that shouldn’t be accepted.

 But still… by saying things like that the contradiction just grows. There’s something to say for both sides here, and that’s what makes this all so confusing. According to common sense, some things are just too much and shouldn’t be accepted. Yet tolerance states we should accept anyone despite their beliefs etc. Accepting everyone includes accepting the people who don’t accept the people they’re being accepted by. And that’s what bugs some people. To most people, however, common sense wins out over the broad principle of tolerance, because it contradicts with tolerance. Which, in a way, also contradicts with tolerance. It’s a vicious circle.

 Tolerance itself is an oxymoron,  but it’s the way of looking at it that defines its meaning. As I said before, most people feel like common sense should define its meaning. People should know when to stop their insults and their expression of hatred, as it goes against the main principle of tolerance. Because tolerance isn’t about liking everyone, it’s about tolerating everyone. About being civil towards everyone, even if you don’t agree with them. Telling someone to go kill themselves because they believe in different things than you… that’s inexplicably rude and immature.