#on repentance

"Remembering a sin we have committed does not mean that the sin has not been forgiven. This remembrance of our sins is only a warning to us lest we become proud and sin again. In fact, we-not God- are the ones who cannot forgive ourselves. We cannot forgive ourselves because of our pride. A genuine sign that a sin has been forgiven is the fact that it has not been repeated, and we are at peace. It is also important how we spend the last years of our lives. A God-pleasing life in old age blots out the sins of youth."

-Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica-

Assalamualaikum my dear!

It is true that the sources vary and may be confusing at times but sweetie one of the fundamental things that are commonly agreed upon is tawbah, alhamdullillah for that. Some argue that there are three conditions, others argue that there are five. Here is an interesting article where you can find detailed narrations from the Prophet ﷺ on repentance and its conditions, among which the most important is sincerity toward Allah swt, and quitting that one particular sin that you're repenting from. In fact, making tawbah to Allah swt does not necessitate a lot of things, all you have to do is sincerely feel that you regret that sin, and that you want to change for the better! You have to show some self-discipline and be serious about your willingness to start fresh and be closer to Allah swt. You ask Allah swt for forgiveness and then you make sure to prove your sincerity to Him swt by staying away from that sin and close all doors leading to it. Sübhanallah, sinning is part of our humanity. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said that all children of Adam are sinners and the best of sinners are the ones who always repent/ keep repenting. And he also said that "Allah is pleased with the repentance of His slave than anyone of you is pleased with finding his camel which he had lost in the desert.” (Al-Bukhari)

I think the hardest step though is quitting the particular sin or trying to stay away from it, especially if you don't have a supportive environment. And in that case, you need to make duaa to Allah swt to ask Him to give you strength and patience and to help you avoid sinning again. In fact, it is with Allah's mercy and help that we do repent and find our way toward Him swt.

May Allah swt accept from you my dear, and keep you steadfast on His path, ameen.

I would also like to remind you of the duaa that Prophet Adam and our mother Hawa made right after they disobeyed Allah swt and ate from the tree: "رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ "

Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers."

And right after that, Allah swt forgave them with His infinite mercy!

May Allah swt forgive us all and bless us with the instinct of repentance, and accept from us, ameen.