#omgitsshawnda

I meditate to find you to get close to you.

Do you have a name?

Where are you from?

Just a dream away, I find myself getting stuck and swolled whole

My physical takes over and I can't find you

I want you so badly, but innerspace is nothing like outerspace

Who were you before?

Nothing like me, ashamed of the past

There's no trust in me, my soul please save me.

Sweet whispers of joy, my soul has a voice through the words I write

Second, third, fourth chance to get it right

I try to take flight beyond what is me

My eyes deceive

Cruelty, abuse and suffering

This can not be what I see

My soul...Please find me

What is your name so I can cry it out

Im stuck here until you rescue me

No room for error

I must get it right this time

In this body

My soul is truly heaven

Connection with 3rd eye

My soul is me and beyond my soul has many eye that I cannot see

Numb…no feeling no pain To my heart its cold You crush No longer thinking for self Bound by the emptyness Suffacate yet lonliness Of the fact that I can’t leave you Run…run… Far away Yet you return Facing a brick wall Not to climb for me Brick wall thats my bed A fly that won’t leave Powerless Suck me dry Anorexia no breathe My future is paralyzed No rest… Powerless One day…one day… Let alone What is it going to take to be free Free from you

Your insults My worth Confused Do you really love me? Are you willing to share yourself with me? Your words create passion But when we fuss and fight I get distracted I do what asked But its never right I give you want you need Drain my soul yo the very last drop You talk I interrupt. I roll my eyes in disgust You call me a bitch I think its time for me to ditch Out…of my mind For loving such a man But he can be so grand Be mistreated is to be defeated Love don’t love like this What did I miss? My mama didn’t tell me all this. A woman with no control no words to fight back All I have is love. You take it and use it. All I have is me So cherish it…one day I’ll be free

He whispers “I want to make you cum” With my eyes rollin back. He kisses me and carress on my breast He know thats my spot Making it wet for daddy You know you my one and only I whisper back I go on a cosmic ride Making sure my pussy grip from the inside Oooh baby Hold me tight Let me open up wide So you can feel my insides Hold on let me stay still So i can feel Your throbbing manhood Baby… I feel you getting near… Explosion Your love is so poision I pull your dreds I squeez you closer Yes!!! We came at the sametime You feel good to me Don’t get up yet, just lay in it for me. Making love… Sweet passionate love My one and only Forever inlove

Discarded and alone No friends No pride Im just looking from the outside Abandoned Struggling to make a mens Constantly being haunted from the past. I cant help but to wonder Did you fuck my man? Is that why we can’t be friends? Girls don’t like me They wanna be me Tell your cousin she always talked about me Who cares. Gone separate ways Just know that i knew him first U still probably wanna still fuk him to this day. Sorry K… Didnt mean to say how I feel. Still don’t know why we aren’t the closest friends. U say we grew apart That’s just so hard to see If you had a problem with me Just come talk to me. Its too late now, i wish you the best. I never thought loosing a best friend would feel like this.

Down The Drain

You wanted to control me. Drain my soul from me. You had me Took my thoughts Twisted me. My love My friend The one I thought Id be with till the very end. You cruel selfish fuk You drained me Couldnt even provide for me Mentally Socially Drugged me false hope. Turned to lesbo Searching for love i wanted you to give. You was to lazy to have your girl back. You drained me Lost Confused You abused my love I will no more call you my love I have let go You had 8 years to get it right You failed Im gone I can’t live like this anymore If love is like this I dont want it. I dont want you My love isnt for you.