you can never trust a man because Oliver Marks said “I don’t know it’s like I look at you and suddenly all the sonnets make sense” to Meredith and then almost immediately after took the fall for a crime he didn’t commit and went to prison for 10 years because he was in love with James.
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( i feel like i'm like the writer of the klible when i say i didn't particularly like if we were villains AND i am writing a full-fledged analysis of james and oliver inspired by the great war............. ) anyways
jamesoliver (iwwv) x the great war by taylor swift
told through oliver's pov
My knuckles were bruised like violets
Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked
oliver thinks he's the least talented among the other 4th years
Spineless in my tomb of silence
spineless, as in oliver did not have a foundation to act, he didn't know what to do or say among his peers and especially, especially towards james. tomb of silence?? the unvoiced affection towards his best friend. and yes it's a tomb because oliver would rather keep it buried deep within, denying the love for his best friend who also happens to be a boy.
Tore your banners down, took the battle underground
and NOW we're jumping a bit ahead, to when james is a little bit unhinged, his state of mind isn't well, and yes it's because of the murder and his hero complex but also ohio! yes ohio! oliver "tore his banners down" by just being himself with him, by not saying anything or denying anything when confronted by his sisters. so james could hope but at the same time not. all the guilt was tearing him apart and oliver with meredith was destroying him. "took the battle underground" oliver finds the hook and confronts james, james who tried to tell him the previous night through shakespeare. underground, cause it was a sneaky thing to do, he could just talk to him but then again not sneaky because it's a literal murder and perhaps the only thing that could make james bend and talk.
And maybe it was ego swinging
oliver's ego, denying denying denying. or james' ego, putting himself as a hero above everything else.
literal bloodshed as in richard's dead body and oliver terrified jumping after him OR all the big mess, emotional as well, that came after the murder.
Uh-huh, sweet dream was over
My hand was the one you reached for
All throughout the Great War
JAMES WAS ALWAYS A BIT MORE DISTANT TO THE OTHERS BUT NOT WITH OLIVER because oliver was his roommate his best friend his everything his person and he reached out to him for help with the supposed suicide letter AND during the events of the story where he was eaten up by guilt and when he wanted to tell oliver and when he confessed!!!!! james didn't say anything to oliver when he found him in the bathroom because he never wanted him to look at him the way he's looking at him right now(!!!!!) but he reached out to him in so many other ways.
Always remember
Uh-huh, tears on the letter
JAMES' LETTER! but also.
I vowed not to cry anymore
If we survived the Great War
as if to say i will confess my undeniably sacred feelings of love for you if we survive this. maybe after graduation. whenever it's over. whenever we're safe, and good.
You drew up some good faith treaties
I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone
"you drew up some good faith treaties" james asking oliver to take it back and let him take the blame as he should. "i drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone" oliver saying no and being kinda miserable by himself in prison. (yes james had it probably worse but yes.)
You said I have to trust more freely
But diesel is desire, you were playin' with fire
And maybe it's the past that's talkin'
Screamin' from the crypt
Tellin' me to punish you for things you never did
when james confessed, he was afraid oliver would tell the police, and that he would stop thinking of him the same way as before. maybe it was a defense mechanism, *asking* to be punished so that oliver would refuse. and so he did. punish him for things he never did? yes he killed richard but it wasn't intentional, it was self-defence in a time that if he acted otherwise he would be the one laying dead on the lake right now. or would he? would richard truly kill him? (that's a thing for another day oops oops let's move on)
So I justified it
All that bloodshed, crimson clover
Uh-huh, the bombs were close and
My hand was the one you reached for
All throughout the Great War
Always remember
Uh-huh, the burning embers
I vowed not to fight anymore
If we survived the Great War
Uh-huh
Uh-huh
It turned into something bigger
Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed
Your finger on my hair pin triggers
Soldier down on that icy ground
Looked up at me with honor and truth
Broken and blue, so I called off the troops
That was the night I nearly lost you
I really thought I lost you
We can plant a memory garden
Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair
There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair
And we will never go back
To that bloodshed, crimson clover
Uh-huh, the worst was over
My hand was the one you reached for
All throughout the Great War
Always remember
Uh-huh, we're burned for better
I vowed I would always be yours
'Cause we survived the Great War
oliver wanting to go see james after he got out of prison. he was always gonna be his. when james asked why he's doing this and he replied "i think you know why". when he called him worthy prince in the play when he wasn't supposed to talk to him, it wasn't in the script. it WAS an indirect confession. so after everything, oliver went to him.
Uh-huh
Uh-huh
I would always be yours
'Cause we survived the Great War
Uh-huh
I vowed I would always be yours
and because he vowed, internally, he will understand james' message, because only he can. and he will find him and help him and save him and they will be together. james farrow and oliver marks. as it is supposed to be, with a happy ending, after all the tragic situations they went through.
So I just finished if we were villains and you’re telling me that’s it??? We don’t find out what happens next ?? I just have to live with this ambiguous and heartbreaking ending??? No. No this can’t be…
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I know you don’t understand. I’m so thankful you don’t. I know time has passed. Somehow, the world kept turning, even when mine stopped. I’m back on the ride now, reluctantly, sometimes half-heartedly, but I’m showing up. I know I am changed. I forever will be. Maybe that’s what happens when you kiss a piece of your heart goodbye.
I know it’s hard to hear, see, comprehend. When you tossed around words like “stuck” or “move on”, I wanted to explain it all to you, not with anger or spite. No, friend. I wanted to explain the tenderness, the sweetness, the deep love that doesn’t fit into the neat lines and acceptable boundaries of this world. I wanted to tell you about the richness of it all, yet the words seemed to fail. Some sentiments and explanations are bigger than me, bigger than answers, bigger than I can succinctly share.
There are so many things I wanted to tell you, and in an effort to package it all nicely into a brief statement, thoughts and feelings have spent months running rampant through my mind, demanding to be felt, experienced, shared. It’s something bigger than me, bigger than any person or situation. It’s about death and a love that is greater.
So, I talk about him…
I talk about him, because grief doesn’t need to be experienced silently, especially when the silence is fueled by stigma and shame.
I talk about him, because frankly, acknowledging him is more important than the discomfort of acquaintances. As much as I never want to alienate people, he’s as familiar to me now as the air that I am breathing.
I talk about him, because it’s my prerogative. In a culture of bravely making your own choices, no matter which direction others are going in, this is mine.
I talk about him, because it’s one way I process and feel. Feelings demand to be felt, I’m learning, and the stuffing and pushing aside doesn’t leave room for the wounds to heal.
I talk about him, not because I’m stuck or because I haven’t moved on, but I talk about him because I am his, and he is mine, and no passage of time will ever change that.
I talk about him, not because I’m constantly living in pain. I’m not anymore, but in my world, this is my normal, and I’d rather live honestly and out loud. Joy, love, happiness, and gratefulness are my everyday, but so are death, loss, heartache, and grief.
Even more so…
I talk about him because I’m proud.
I talk about him, because he deserves to be remembered.
I talk about him, because even though he’s not physically with me, he’s never far from my mind.
I talk about him, because he’s part of me, a part that I could never ignore or disown.
I talk about him because I love him still, and I always will. Forever. Nothing will ever change that.
This is my normal. I know it’s hard to understand, and maybe that’s okay. When it comes to loving him, I will not be silent or hide away, and the bottom line is that is okay, too.
