#old us

I wish we could have gave it a shot sober.. that was always the goal for us.. I don’t know what happened to us.. even after I got sober you still shut me out.. fast forward a year and I’m turning 28 and I haven’t heard or seen you for almost 7 months now.. I couldn’t even get a happy birthday from you.. that hurts Em. That really hurts, I thought we were special you and I. Maybe I was just a little more foolish than I like to admit, I really believed you when you said you loved me and wanted to start a family and bring me into yours.. I only ever wanted to be part of your life. It’s a toss up what hurts the most but another thing that really stings is just the fact that I was there to weather the storm with you, but you made me ride out mine by myself and for what, because you cheated on me? How unfair.. there was never any other girls on my end.. not even when you were inpatient for those. 3.5 months in the cities and i very easily could have cheated and been unfaithful in anyway without worrying about being caught.. I didn’t want too and had no desire. I’ve only ever wanted you since April 2020. You’ve been on my mind since everyday I promise you that. I enjoy thinking about you, i really can say you were like my best friend.. it was a dream come true you were my girl.. I wish you would have been a little more patient with me about my sobriety.. you told me you wouldn’t break up with me and you would work me with me before the breakup.. I know I let you down and I was a liability for the cps case.. but that’s all different now:: crazy thing is you haven’t given me a moment of your time since I’ve been sober.. I did everything you wanted me to do Em, and I am your best friend and nobody can make you laugh like I can.. I know you think of me I just wish you weren’t so damn stubborn and just talked to me.. we’re both loosing when you fight this.. what’s the worst that’s going to happen if we meet up and talk and catch up a little , maybe you could see OUR dog we got right before our lives changed forever ( especially yours ) but mine was impacted and effected as well, unfortunately we never were the same and never recovered… I miss you.. I still get butterflies thinking about you.