Today marks one year ago we brought Holly home.. she was so small.. she was about the size of the palm of my hand.. I let you pick out the dog and name her.. I was so happy to start that journey with you.. it was the first time I actually felt like we were a family you and I.. we talked about having kids and being more but I wasn’t sure if we could pull a baby off but I bet we could have.. I just wanted to do it sober and we both weren’t sober so I said let’s try a dog first.. we also wanted to get a puppy for your kids Hoping it would teach them responsibility and teach zayden not to be so scared of everything.. he hated the dog.. what a little baby.. what 5 year old hates puppies lol… I ended up with it 90% of the time and paid for 99% of everything for her.. I wouldn’t change anything.. I’m glad I have her.. I just wish I still had you too.. I used to love when you and the dog were together cuddling and I would say “ aww look my two favorite girls in the world” “ look at my brown eyed girls”
Besides from my birthday coming up I’m almost out of dates that mean anything to me, my favorite memories with you have all passed by this summer… only memory left that I can remember from last year was my birthday .. that was also two weeks before you went away for treatment and everything changed for us.. I knew things would never be the same between us.., i shouldn’t have stuck around.. especially if you told me that if I waited for you that you were only going to show your appreciation by cheating on me, lying to me, ghosting me, and than being beyond heartless and cruel when I just wanted to talk to you.. get a little closure atleast.. but just a simple conversation I wanted.. but you never did anything for me unless it benefited you also.. you never made sacrifices like I did for our relationship.. fuck you.. I can’t wait for my heart to be over you.. I miss you and love you so much still it makes me sick that I still do and can’t get over you.. I don’t know what happened between us.. in my eyes we were doing good.. then boom I’m blocked and a week later you said you can’t do this and I need to stop calling and let it be. Clean break.. like what? And you stuck to your guns and walled me off.. bravo emily.. shut the only person that was there for you through your darkest moments and time last year.. now that your shining and sober you were too good for me and “ we stopped growing” fuck that.. your cps case fucked us up.. made rules that made our already extremely complicated.. we almost made it work.. I thought for sure after you got out of wayside and we were able to see each other once or twice a week.. even if it was only for a few hours I was still happy and cherished every moment with you.. but I thought we would get through this.. how stupid I was.. you were probably talking to guys the whole time on your phone.. I never went through it.. I trusted you.. again how stupid could I have been? You cheated on all other relationships why wouldn’t you on me? Because I was loyal? What a fool I was.. hope your happy that I’m out of your life now.. I hope everything just improved and your not depressed anymore ( like I was the problem fuck you ) it wasn’t the fact you were doing sober living with a bunch of roommates that you didn’t like and didn’t like you.. it wasn’t the fact you lost your kids and only was able to see them on. Weekend pass on weekends.. ir wasn’t the fact your cps worker wouldn’t let you see me very much or let me come to your house with you.. wasn’t the fact we barley could see each other.. nope none of that.. it was the only consistent thing you had since you lost your kids.. the only person that supported you.. you might have others now.. but you had nobody except me who actually cares about you.. congrats emily.. instead of working out your butt and your body you should really work on your insides and your personality your lacking a moral compass and traits that make a good person. Loyalty, honesty, compassion, empathy, guilt, love. You just know how to manipulate men with your body and words.. congrats on getting sober.. you didn’t have to drag me through the mud and destroy me in the process when I wanted NOTHING but your happiness and to see you succeed. I love you and hate you so much …. Words can’t describe how I feel about you.. I wish I just could be like you and be heartless and a asshole but it’s not in my nature like it’s in yours. Again thanks for nothing emily.. you should have been a little more mature and just broke up with me rather than destroying me with your lies and ghosting