Finding Your Purpose in Life – Powerful Insights from a Life Coach
Does finding your purpose in life seem like a daunting task? You might even have a lot of ambition but you just don't know where to start.
Keep reading to learn actionable tips from Tomas Svitorka. Tomas is a successful life coach who guides people to create results they want in life. If you do what he says, you'll find your purpose in life.
There is also an audio version of this interview with Tomas. Check it out here.
Finding your purpose in life is key to fulfillment
In a happiness survey conducted in 28 countries, 47% of respondents say "feeling their life has meaning" is the greatest source of happiness.
Only three things are ranked higher than that:
· health and physical well-being (55%)
· their children (48%)
· their relationship with their spouse or partner (48%)
How can you find your life purpose?
Since I'm a life coach, clients come to me as they search for their life purpose. Often, people expect that they should just know what their calling is. And I tell them it's naive.
Take romantic relationships, for example
It's as if you're thinking, "I should know who I will marry one day." You can't because you haven't met them yet. So, how do you find a life partner? You go out and talk to people, go on dates.
With some people, there's a little bit of a spark, chemistry, passion. Finally, you go on a date and all of a sudden something clicks, right?
It's rarely love at first sight. They look attractive and you start getting to know them. You start getting to know their mind, their feelings, their passions. And the more you get to know them, the more you realize that you love them.
Now, apply the same mindset to finding what you want to do in life
Ask yourself:
· Maybe, you didn't think about your life purpose enough yet.
· Perhaps, you haven't tried enough things that people need to explore.
· Maybe, you didn't try a particular thing long enough to fall in love with it.
These and similar questions will help you reveal your interests. That's what you need to do then:
· Try those different things.
· Go out and explore more.
· Read about other things.
· Volunteer.
· Get different jobs.
· Pick up lots of hobbies.
As you get to know the features of professions, something will just feel right. And the more you understand those features, the more you can start putting them together. You start thinking, "How can I bring this all together and do it as a job?"
The question "How can I put this all together and do it as a job?" led me to life coaching
The same thing happened to me.
When I went into personal development, I realized:
1. I love sharing my knowledge with people
2. I love helping people and you know
3. I love seeing them grow in life
How could I do this professionally then? And the closest thing I knew was to become a psychotherapist. So, at the age of 25, I went back to college and I did my degree in psychology. It was so fascinating and I really enjoyed it. But I didn't want to be a psychotherapist.
· It can be quite dark and heavy.
· It's a slow process that's more about fixing rather than improving.
· It's like getting towards the okay zone rather than the high-performance zone.
I also didn't want to be a clinical psychologist, testing cats and rats. So, I asked myself again, "What do I love? What do I want to do?"
1. I love psychology, I love setting goals, I love mindset.
2. I loved working with people.
3. I love helping people
4. And I hate having a boss
How can I put that together?
And somehow coaching emerged as an idea.
I started looking into coaching
I didn't know anyone who was making a living as a coach at that time. I decided to give it one year of my absolute attention and all my time. And if in one year, I could make enough money from coaching to quit my day job, this is what I would do.
And I threw myself into it. I started reading books and going through courses. I started coaching people for free. And I still had my full-time job at the time.
So, I was working Monday to Friday, from 9 am till 6 pm. And I was coaching on evenings and weekends. And you know what? In a year, I was nowhere near making enough money to support myself with coaching.
But I fell in love with it. I just loved coaching and realized that I wanted to pursue it no matter what:
"I don't care if it takes three or five years, I'm just going to make it work."
Finding your purpose in life is a journey that takes time
Often, people deny themselves the opportunity to fall in love with something. They don't give themselves enough time. They try it for a couple of months and they struggle at best. And then they quit because it's hard.
But that's too early. You've got to persevere on this journey to understand who you are. There isn't enough self-knowing, self-awareness, and self-transparency. That's why it's so hard to feel what the right path should be. But when you take the time to get to know yourself through exploring, journaling, etc., everything falls into place gradually.
Self-discipline is key to finding your purpose in life
See, successful people never complain when it comes to getting things done. Whereas others whine and bitch and cry. And life is terrible. And when I work with them, it turns out that they don't do anything. They can't get themselves to do it. They're unmotivated.
Self-discipline is crucial for getting what you want in life because it requires a lot of work. Work that you don't need to do, e.g., finding your purpose in life. You can get by without doing it. That's exactly why you need self-discipline to do it.
Three most important ways to develop self-discipline
You can develop self-discipline by relying on these three tools.
Tool 1: Develop your identity as a disciplined person
People who are not disciplined always say things like:
· I'm weak.
· I don't have willpower.
· I always quit.
And by saying that, they encourage being weak. So, the most important part is developing the identity of a disciplined person.
For example, self-discipline is such a big part of my identity that being disciplined comes easy to me. It's just who I am. And not being disciplined feels fake, like I'm trying to be someone who I'm not.
So, stop any kind of negative self-talk that encourages not being disciplined.
Tool 2: Set reasonable goals to develop a mindset of getting things done
Many people make a mistake of setting their goals too big. It's the 1st of January, and they feel compelled to set stretching goals for the year.
For example, they commit to a 2-hour morning routine. And they've never done anything like this before. The first two days are exciting. But then, they get a little bit sleepy and then they quit on the 5th of January.
Why? It was too much of a change.
I always tell people to set achievable goals. Start with a goal that's almost easy to accomplish. And stick with it, say, for 30 days, just to get into a mindset or rhythm of getting things done. And then add a little bit more.
It doesn't matter how big the task is. What matters is consistency.
Tool 3: Track progress to feel motivated and be consistent
Tracking your progress with your goals and habit is encouraging and exciting. That's because we all want to see that we're making progress.
For example, I've created a tool called "The Consistency Calendar." It tracks how often you stick to a new habit or a goal. Every day, you make a color mark about whether you've stuck to a goal or not. Over time, you’ll be able to see how consistent you are. There is something satisfying about seeing the colors and looking back at a whole month or a year.
Takeaways
1. It's naive to expect to know what your purpose in life is. You need to explore a lot first.
2. Find what you like to do. And then ask, "How do I put that together and do it as a job?"
3. Persevere on this journey to understand who you are. Often, people quit too early.
4. Cultivate an identity of someone who's disciplined. Stop negative self-talk about being weak.
5. Set reasonable goals. And keep making them bigger gradually. Don't overstretch yourself.
6. Track your progress as you work on your goals or new habits. Use a visual tool that motivates you.
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