Me now when I see Larry:

It is after midnight, and I am going to hate myself in the morning (well, later this morning), and the finale is an hour and a half long, but I can’t wait.

Aww, poor Dixon watching his friend’s corpse being carried out.

It’s still winter?!

I get the sense that Dixon blames Luschek for Penn’s death. And Penn’s ghost waving and walking off? (choked up) I don’t think we got that with any of the other characters who died (Tricia, Poussey...).

As usual, Alvarez has bad timing, passing around all those Judy King books.

JUDY MENTIONED THE THREESOME WITH LUSCHEK AND YOGA!! Karma, Luschek!

And Luschek was fired after admitting to being the phone smuggler. Man, this isn’t a good day for Luschek is it? LOL

Well, Piper’s a free woman now. Kind of in a weird relationship with Zelda but her relationship with her dad is improving. And he has made a few good points about Alex.

Dixon took Taystee to see Suzanne, who’s a bit more calm and chill now than she used to be. It’s refreshing.

Ward left the GED files on Taystee’s desk. Penn got her GED. There are no words.

I really hate the direction the writers went with Vauseman....

Yep, Taystee’s definitely back! Both Ps (Poussey and Pennsatucky) are smiling down on her!

They found drugs in the chicken and Linda fires Ward. Damn.

Cindy made a new friend!

Red has officially moved to Florida and full-on has dementia. She doesn’t remember Frieda, who is surprised and relieved Red doesn’t remember her!

Looks like Flores is free, too!

OMG It’s Chang! I wasn’t expecting to see her!

Is that Tasliz?

Suzanne’s building a memorial for Pennsatucky. ^_^

So Gloria’s being released after all! Yay!

Still no explanation as to how Cesar is out of prison.

And Daya dragged Eva into this drug war? Jeez...

I thought that conversation between Piper and Larry described Piper perfectly.

Cindy’s making some progress with her mom and daughter!

Hey! It’s Judy King in person! And Taystee wants to start a loan foundation in Poussey’s name!

Sigh...oh, Lorna. Still in denial.

OHSHIT! Red remembers! Frieda manages to get away.

Okay, seriously? Accidentally killing someone should not have turned someone this dark! Are you kidding me?

That fucking asshole! Leaving Karla ‘cause she’s injured!

“I never prepared them (the chickens) for life on the outside. Of course they turned to drugs.” LOL Oh, Suzanne...

Are you fucking kidding me right now? HELLMAN is the new warden?!

Alex is in Ohio with Boo, Anita, Yoga, Gina, and Norma. 

Hmm. Where’s Piper going?

Oh, Nicky’s literally taking over for Red! Is that Daya?

Oh, and we see the meth heads, Alison, and Janae! And Sankey and Soso!

Blanca and Diablo are reunited!

Red singing Lorna to sleep in Russian.

The Poussey Washington Fund launches!

Piper and Alex get back together! Yay! I’m so happy!

Everyone lives happily ever after!

Well,  this season was not what I expected. I wanted Taystee to be cleared of the murder charge, I wanted Daya to change back to the way she was, I wanted Piper to go through with writing her memoir, I wanted Cesar to die in prison, I wanted Red to reunite with her sons and grandsons, I wanted Healy to die a slow and lonely death, I wanted Suzanne to find out about Kukudio’s death, (and now for Boo to find out about Pennsatucky’s death) and I wanted Kubra to show up and it be revealed that he saw the video of Piscatella torturing the inmates and that Alex is very much alive, but I did not get any of that. 

Me, eating cheetos:

Why do I feel like this personal snow day is going to blow up in their faces?

Looks like Eva is headed down a delinquent path. 

Wow, Aleida’s mom pimped her out? Not cool.

Oh, thank God Taystee didn’t go through with killing herself! Instead, she’s gonna be Ward’s new assistant!

Aww, Alex wants to send something nice to Piper!

Poor Red...

“She’s dating someone twice her age.”

“Cesar?” 

LOL You would think. That was a good plan on Aleida’s part. Bringing Eva to visit Daya.

Oh, Taystee, Poussey would be so disappointed in you. What are the chances of P pulling a Mufasa on T?

(Speaking of The Lion King [Beyonce plays Nala]) OMG I can’t. Maritza’s praying to Beyonce, who ain’t even dead! Ah, well. At least it’s not a grilled cheese sandwich. XD #Glee

Aww, Maritza! Maybe since you did something good, a good thing will happen to you.

...Or not, since the guards are watching.

Oooh, I want that Vauseman t-shirt!

And Piper got caught. Yep, I knew it.

But her PO is going easy on her. That’s good. She’s lucky.

Hmm. I see something going on between Nicky and that Egyptian girl (can’t remember her name).

Jabba the Butt? OMG Lorna...

I’m not a mom, so I don’t know exactly, but Aleida’s Mama Bear rampage seems a bit over the top.

Uh-oh...Red is showing signs of early dementia. Remember when she didn’t want to become like Jimmy?

OMG Cindy’s up for early release! And Taystee’s gonna fuck it up, isn’t she?

I’m liking the juxtaposition with Cal, Piper, and their wives. Piper got a gift and Cal got yelled at.

Oh, fuck, Aleida got arrested again.

And Maritza’s being deported. Well, so much for good karma.

I swear- Linda is on some sort of power trip. She is a little too excited about stuff.

SOPHIA! She seems to be doing well.

Uh-oh, another random sweep!

Oh, McCullough, could you be more suspicious?

So, Gloria’s getting out in a few weeks! Good for her.

I was wondering if we were ever going to see Carol Chapman again.

Aww, I kind of wanted to hear the other reasons Piper loves Alex.

Taystee’s back! And she wants to start a microloans program for recently released inmates.

Sophia’s working at a hair salon! And she wants to leave prison in the past where it belongs.

Well, at least Alex ended her affair with McCullough, who looks upset about it.

Ohhh....that’s why Shani was so desperate to see Nicky. They’re taking her back to Egypt. She left a note for Nicky, though.

Oh, Jesus, they’re cross-examining children now? “Not even the younglings survived”.

Judy King wrote a memoir?! Speaking of memoirs, what happened to Piper writing a memoir, writers?

Fig’s going soft...sort of. And she’s pregnant, but she wants an abortion because she can’t bear the thought of bringing a child into this world.

And Bell phone the cell phone. I guess Karla neglected to tell her sons not to call on the number she called on.

McCullough showed up on Piper’s doorstep and told her about her affair with Alex, and she went running to Zelda. Bitch.

Fig gave Caj an abortion pill, didn’t she?

Yep, I’m doing this again! Final season, I’m so excited and anxious!

Here we go!

Oh, that’s right! Cal and Neri had a baby! It’s a baby girl named...Goodall? Maybe Goody or Allie for short!

Piper must have been out of prison for a while now if her probation officer “finally” gave her permission to to either use a car or go visit her wife.

Speaking of Alex, looks like Murphy is...mm. I wanna say “bullying” her, but I’m not sure that’s the right word.

And they’re doing voiceovers again. Twice in three minutes. It’s like a Glee episode!

“I want drugs” (Sigh) Angie 2.0?

Taystee! Hm. I half-expected her to look beat up since she was (wrongly) convicted for the murder of a CO. And she’s Murphy’s bunkie? The “thug” comment threw me off.

Um, Pennsatucky, you do know you are also a convicted murderer, right? I can’t believe she and Suzanne actually believe Taystee is guilty. Really?

Man, how long are Red and Gloria going to be in SHU?! I kind of like that Gloria is positive and I hope Red is depressed because she realized she missed her once chance to mend fences with her family.

Guess The Recipe? I wanna play!

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Polly. 

Looks like Piper got a job at a Thai restaurant.

Oh, I guess Lorna’s baby survived despite her taking medications that would have been damaging. And it’s a boy named Sterling.

Hmm. Looks like Alex is trying to frame Murphy for smuggling contraband. Wait, though, did she put it in the right bunk?

Ooh...Taystee’s turned violent. So, Alex’s plan worked out...sort of. Badison was sent to SHU and the guards think Badison started the fight.

Well, Cindy sure gained a reputation for being a rat fink.

“But the judge and jury say she did it.” Sigh, should have known Suzanne would have that kind of attitude. She believed she slocked Red back in season 2 because Vee said she did.

Cesar/Aleida flashback?

Suddenly, Larry in a flashback.

Looks like Piper asked her dad for help after all, and he reluctantly agreed.

Fucking Hellman. I wonder if he’s the villain this season.

Oh, I guess Aleida got her kids back and Rick jumped into Daddy Mode apparently.

Did Daya just kill Daddy? Holy shit.

Oh, nevermind. She just drugged that hooch.

Hm. I expected Alex to have a negative reaction to those drugs.

Nevermind again. Daddy is dead. Dammit, Daya, are you trying to become a lifer?

And Piper just got fired because she’s not dependable. Assholes.

Aw, Vauseman flashback!

Yeah...why can’t you two talk about your hellish week?

Geez, what’s with all the voiceovers from different characters? Not even Glee does that!