"Oh I think you'll be distracted by me no matter if we kiss now or not," said Ilya, finally crashing his lips to Shane's, and Shane couldn't help but laugh a little into the kiss.

He was completely right.

He was distracted by Ilya the whole tournament (though they still managed to just barely eke out a victory against Ilya's team). He was distracted by Ilya on the bus ride home, as Ilya texted him how much he missed him already. He was distracted by Ilya every night when he was supposed to be focusing on homework, and again at the next tournament (which Ilya's team won this time).

Summer couldn't come fast enough.

===

For the second year in a row, the Hollanders stopped at Sergei's first. This time, however, they were surprised to find Ilya already waiting outside with his duffel bag. Full Bloom Flowers was closed, the interior of the shop even darker than usual.

After pulling Ilya into a tight hug, as long as they dared in front of Shane's parents, they let go so that his David and Yuna could hug him and say hello too.

"Is your mom out?" asked Yuna, noting the darkened shop and 'CLOSED' sign. "I was hoping to say hi to her."

"She's… she's sick today," said Ilya, his jaw set. "Still in bed. Normally I would help at the shop, but Mama didn't want me working on Shane's first day back. And Olga's at the hotel, so we… we had to close for the afternoon."

Shane could tell that he was trying to be strong, but there was a waver to his voice and something about the way his brow furrowed that told Shane he wasn't nearly as okay as he was pretending to be. He took a step closer to him, so that their arms were pressed together, and curled his pinky so that it gently brushed Ilya's, hoping it said what he couldn't right now: I'm here. You're not alone. I've got you.

His parents exchanged one of those looks that Shane was convinced held an entire silent conversation, and then David nodded towards Ilya.

"Well, we're really sorry to hear that, bud," he said, reaching out to grip his shoulder. "I'm glad you've got the day off though. I think we're just going to say a quick hello to Sergei and see how he and Olga have been doing, and then we'll be on our way soon. You two catch up so long."

Shane got the sense that they were going to talk to Sergei about the Irina situation and glancing at Ilya's face, he seemed to have picked up on this too.

"Hey," he said, threading his fingers through Ilya's properly now that they were alone and giving his hand a squeeze. "You know of somewhere quiet where we can catch up?"

The litttle smile that Shane received in response to that was encouraging.

Ilya pulled Shane beyond a chained gate, to a loading zone next to the flower shop, and pushed Shane gently against the wall once they were safely behind a dumpster.

"Not the most romantic," said Ilya with a bit of a grimace. Shane, who was feeling weirdly dizzy and floaty about being pulled and pushed around, gave him what was probably an incredibly dopey smile.

"I don't know," he said, "that felt plenty romantic to me. Anyway, it's about the same level of romantic as a creepy abandoned bike shed."

Ilya's lips were on his before he could say anything else, and god it was like Shane's whole body had come back online. Suddenly it didn't matter that they'd spent half the year away from each other, because Ilya was here now and his to hold, and to mess up his hair, and taste and… and…

Shane realised that what he was tasting was salt, and when he opened his eyes, Ilya was crying.

"Hey," he said, immediately shifting gears and pulling Ilya into his arms. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I've got you. Whatever's happening right now, you don't have to face it alone anymore, okay?"

Shane could guess what the tears were about and he knew he was right when Ilya collapsed against his chest and just cried. These weren't the quiet tears he was used to from Ilya – these were huge, sorrowful sobs that wracked his whole body. Ilya didn't make a sound with them, but they shook every part of him and Shane felt himself having to fight back his own tears. He hated seeing Ilya like this – his heart was breaking with it.

"Sorry," said Ilya, once the initial wave passed. "Sorry, you just got here to enjoy your summer and I'm here ruining it."

"Hey, no you're not," said Shane, catching Ilya's chin between his fingers and thumb, tipping it up so that Ilya would look at him. "This is our summer. It's only fun if you're having fun too, and I never ever want you to feel like you have to just pretend you are for my sake. We're a team now, right?"

"Right," said Ilya with a small smile that seemed like it was fighting not to be a grimace.

"We're going to have fun," said Shane, pressing his forehead to Ilya's. "Even if it's a little different this year."

"We will," Ilya nodded, now really smiling as he pulled back to look at Shane. "Fuck, I've missed you, My Shane."

And because Shane could reward him for it in person, he pressed another kiss to his lips.

"We should probably check what Mom and Dad are doing," he said, slipping his hand into Ilya's and tugging them back towards the front of the building again. They made it back just in time to see David, Yuna, and Sergei emerge from the hardware store.

He hated having to let go of Ilya's hand.

"Ah, hello Shane!" said Sergei, holding out a hand for him to shake. This was what Shane always appreciated about Sergei – he'd always treated and talked to him like a grownup.

"Hi, Sergei," said Shane, shaking his hand. "How're things at the shop?"

"Ah, you know, could be better, could be worse. But at least the roof is still on and there are still hammers on my shelves."

Shane didn't really know what to say to this, so he smiled and nodded and hoped it sufficed.

"Ilyusha, you have stuff to sleep over at Shane's?" he asked. "Otherwise, you should go get them now."

"I have sleepover stuff," said Ilya, cheeks flushing with color as he looked at Yuna. "Just in case. I didn't want to disturb Mama in case we were allowed. Sorry, Yuna."

"No need to apologize, honey," said Yuna, with a somewhat sad smile. "You've had to wait so long to see each other, and we figure you two are old enough now to make your own bad bedtime decisions."

Ilya laughed, but it was a small, tired thing and Shane's heart was breaking. He needed to get Ilya away from here. He needed to get him to somewhere the only thing he had to worry about was whether they were going to swim or play hockey first.

"You boys ready to race for shotgun?" asked David and Shane looked curiously at Yuna.

"You aren't coming too?" he asked.

"Well, Sergei thinks it might be good idea if I go up to check in on Irina, so I'll do that while dad's taking you home."

"Mama isn't weak or pathetic, you know." said Ilya suddenly, sharper than Shane's ever heard him.

When Shane looked over at him he looked somewhere between angry and terrified, and Shane chewed his lip, uncertain how his parents would react to this. He'd never seen Ilya be anything less than perfectly polite before. He couldn't imagine they'd be mad, but Shane had never been brave enough to snap at them like that. Shane held his breath as Yuna got that pinched look between her brows like she was trying not to cry.

"Ilyusha," said Sergei, stepping forward to intervene, but Yuna held up a hand and shook her head gently.

"Of course she isn't, honey," she said to Ilya soothingly. She hestiated for a moment before reaching out to smooth down Ilya's curls the way she always did with Shane and he didn't know why this of all things made his stomach swoop. It just felt good to know that his mom and dad seemed to love Ilya as much as he did. "I'm sorry if that's how I made it sound. Shane will tell you, I'm working on my tone. If anything, I actually think she's incredibly strong. The kind of sickness your Mama is fighting is really tough, and as her friend, I just want to see how I can help. That's all. She's your family though, and I don't want to overstep, so if you would prefer that I didn't go up, I won't. Is that okay?"

Ilya threw his arms around Yuna.

"I'm sorry, please go see her," he said into her shoulder. "I think… I think she needs a friend now."

Shane wished more than anything that he could slip his hand into Ilya's right then. He settled for standing as close to him as he could once he stepped back from Yuna's embrace.

Neither of them really felt like racing for shotgun, but Shane got the sense that Ilya would rather sit in the backseat anyway. He didn't seem to be in his usual talkative mood as they drove to the cottage. David seemed to notice this, and expertly started a neutral conversation about the Vancouver/Ottawa game from the night before – probably realizing, like Shane did, that Ilya hadn't been able to catch it. As such most of the conversation involved the Hollanders animatedly recounting Ottawa's surprise victory to an Ilya who was starting to look and sound more and more like himself as the conversation went on.

It wasn't long before they were rounding the trees and pulling into the cottage driveway.

"There are some snacks and drinks for you in the trunk, okay? We'll bring you lunch around one again." said David. "Same rules as last time apply – pool swimming only and call us if you need anything. And the most important rule, the one I want both of you to keep in mind throughout the rest of today…" He regarded both of them seriously, then his face broke into a gentle smile. "Have fun. Got it?"

"Oh my god, Dad," said Shane, rolling his eyes, and Ilya nodded, smiling the first real dazzling smile he'd seen from him all day. They climbed out of the car and Shane headed for the trunk. "I'll get the snacks – you unlock the house so long. The alarm code is two-four-eight-one. You just punch it in as soon as you get the door open."

Ilya nodded again to show he understood, and headed off to the front door. Shane waited until he was out of sight before walking round to his dad's open window.

"Dad, just in case Ilya doesn't want to talk about it," he started, knowing David wouldn't lie to him about it, "how bad are things with Irina?"

"They're not great, kiddo," said David truthfully, "but your mom and I, as well as Sergei and Olga – we're going to do our best to help her, however we can. Now, try not to worry about it today, okay? It sounds like Ilya's been having a tough year so the only thing I want you to focus on today is making sure that he… that the both of you, just get to just be a kids today. Got it?"

"Got it," said Shane. "Love you, Dad."

"Love you too, bud," he said. "Now get your snacks and have a fun first day of summer, okay?"

Shane didn't need telling twice.

They did end up having fun that day, but Shane could tell that beneath it all, Ilya was exhausted in that way that went all the way down to his bones. When they played hockey, he was still lightning fast, but a fraction slower. When they swam, there wasn't nearly as much of the splashing around and showboating there usually was – Ilya mostly just wanted to lie on one of the pool floaties and occassionally kiss. He nearly fell asleep during Top Gun, and Shane knew that was one of Ilya's absolute favorites.

Shane was so worried he was starting to feel sick with it.

When he suggested they should probably get to bed, the only thing Shane saw on Ilya's face was absolute relief and gratitude, and it made his heart ache. Where was the Ilya who kept trying to get them to stay up longer – who reveled in fucking up Shane's sleep routine?

Once in bed, they didn't even talk as much as they usually did. Ilya would usually poke at the silence with questions and observations, no matter how silly, that Shane felt compelled to answer, which would only prompt more, until somehow they'd stayed up until four in the morning without them even realizing. Tonight, the only thing cutting through the deafening silence was the sound of Ilya's uneasy breathing. Shane listened to it from his blow-up mattress on the floor, feeling queasy at how unequipped he felt to help Ilya with whatever he was going through, but also relieved and warmed that he was listening to Ilya's breathing at all right now. It had been way too long since he'd been able to.

It did, however, mean he nearly jumped out of his skin when Ilya's voice eventually broke through the silence.

"My Shane," he said in a small voice. "I know this bed is not as big, but can you please come up here? I… I think I would feel better if you were close."

It was the first thing all day that Shane thought he'd be any good at helping with.

Walking over the door first to lock it (he'd rather have his parents tell him off for a locked door than cuddling with Ilya), he walked back across the room, to where Ilya held open a corner of the blanket, and climbed in next to him, immediately pulling Ilya into his arms. Ilya snuggled into his chest, pressing his lips softly to his shoulders and collarbones, before settling down. Shane peppered Ilya's forehead and curls with kisses.

"I'm sorry I've been so lame today," said Ilya. "It's your first day back here and I've ruined it by being so sad and boring."

"Hey, you couldn't be boring – that's my thing, remember?" he gave Ilya a squeeze, pleased when this drew a little laugh out of him. "Honestly, we could have spent the day watching paint dry and it still would have been amazing because I'd be watching the paint dry with you."

"Yes, well, there's lots of summer left, maybe we'll still get to do that."

Shane's heart soared. Ilya was making jokes and he couldn't help but take that as a good sign. He pressed another soft kiss to his forehead.

"I just feel like I'm letting you down as a boyfriend, Ilya. I don't know what I'm doing at the best of times and all this is even bigger. I wish I knew how to help you with this."

"So do I," said Ilya. His accent was a little thicker in that way it always got when he was tired and English became more difficult. "But it doesn't make you bad boyfriend that you don't know. I don't think anyone really knows how to help with this."

Shane didn't know what to say, so he just rested his cheek on Ilya's curls and held him as tight as he could.

He woke up several hours later with a crick in his neck, a sharp ray of sunlight cutting into his eyes, and Ilya's smile. Shane didn't know if it or the sun was brighter.

"G'morning," he said, pressing a soft kiss to Ilya's cheek. "You're looking a little better this morning."

"Mm," said Ilya, snuggling into Shane with a satisfied sigh. "I'm always better when you're here."

===

Things seemed to get improve after that. Irina seemed to mostly be feeling better, and when there was a day that was too difficult for her, Shane and Ilya, along with Olga, David, and Yuna, would take turns helping in the flower shop. Shane found he didn't mind doing the occaisional shift – he always got paid for his time and it made him feel incredibly grown up to be helping Ilya put together flower arrangements and other orders for customers.

Ilya was more like himself again too. With his mom not as scarily sick, some of the tension began to leave hiss shoulders and he and Shane finally threw themselves headfirst into summer. In the back of their minds was always the knowledge that next year would probably be different – with summer-long hockey camps as the two of them geared up for juniors. It meant that they were more determined than ever to make this a summer to remember.

Shane thought his parents might realize this too, which was why, instead of the movies for their shared birthday this year, they were suprised with David picking them up from Ilya's place with a big trailer hooked up to the back of the car. They didn't have to wait long to find out what it was carrying – David had hired the three of them jet-skis for the day. Shane had never seen Ilya more overjoyed. They spent the morning racing around on the lake, Shane feeling more alive than he ever had in his life, Ilya grinning so wide Shane wondered if it was possible for a face to actually break from smiling.

"Did you have fun?" asked Shane, as the two of them lay on the dock later that afternoon, warming up in the sun. After securing the jet-skis in the boathouse, David had gone up to the cottage to start the grill for the late lunch they'd be having, leaving Shane and Ilya alone for the first time all day.

"The most fun," said Ilya with a grin. "One day when I'm famous and rich, I'm definitely buying jet-skis for our cottage."

Shane's heart hammered.

"Our cottage?" he asked. "As in you and me?"

"Well, yeah," said Ilya, turning to his side and propping himself up on an elbow to look at him. Shane's mouth was dry as he watched the drops of water drip from Ilya's hair to his shoulders and down his chest. Goddamn his boyfriend was hot. Ilya grinned, almost as if he could sense what Shane was thinking, and swooped in for a quick kiss. Pressing his forhead against Shane's, he continued. "Of course we would have a cottage together. I am never breaking up with you so it would be stupid to have two cottages, no?"

Shane didn't say anything because he didn't trust himself to say anything after something as sweet as that stated so matter-of-factly, like it was obvious that that's what their future was. Shane wanted to curl up in the warmth of it and live there forever.

Ilya regarded his silence with what looked like amused curiosity.

"My Shane, you're telling me you've never imagined having your own cottage one day?"

"Of course I have," said Shane, feeling himself flush all the way down to his chest. "I've been planning mine since I was like eight already."

"Oh really? And?" Ilya poked Shane playfully in the chest, smirking. "Are you not going to tell me about it? Or is this cottage top secret and only for you?"

"No, fuck off," laughed Shane. "I've just never talked about it out loud before, let alone had someone ask me about it. You really want to know?"

"Fuck, Shane, yes," laughed Ilya, leaning forward for another kiss. "I thought it was obvious by now that I want to know everything there is to know about you."

"Ugh, stop being so cute," said Shane, covering up his face, knowing he was beet-red now. "You're not going to be able to tell if I'm getting sunburn if you carry on like this."

"Shaaane," laughed Ilya. "Don't hide away and don't avoid the question. I want to hear about what you want our cottage to look like."

"You really want to share a cottage with me one day?" Shane pulled his hands away from his face to look for any sign that this was a game or just a fun hypothetical that Ilya was posing, but there wasn't a hint of a joke on his face. "You'd really want us to have a house together if we never break up?"

"Ugh, nope, that's the last time you're allowed to talk like that, okay?" said Ilya, grabbing Shane's hand and bringing it to his lips. "It's when we never break up. Not if. Never if, okay?"

"Okay," said Shane, feeling weirdly emotional about it. He bit back the tears as he looked into Ilya's eyes. "You want to know what I imagine our cottage will be like when we definitely share one one day because we will still be madly in love?"

"Exactly, My Shane," said Ilya with another soft peck to his lips before lying back on the deck and closing his eyes. "Tell me all about our dream home."

Shane couldn't believe he was getting to talk about this out loud.

"Well, obviously it would be a lakeside property like this, just bigger. Maybe much bigger. I want windows everywhere so you can see the sunset or sunrise from wherever you are in the house, or watch the snow falling in winter."

Ilya was smiling and listening to Shane speak with all the joy and enthusiasm of a little kid being told a bedtime story. It was so cute that Shane turned to his stomach and reached out for his hand.

"I want an even bigger hockey room than the one here," he continued. "Like maybe a whole basement level, about the same size as a real rink so I… well, we, can play real hockey even on the off season. I also really want a games room. A big table for boardgames, a nice TV area for video games, and also a pool table. And foosball and air hockey."

"Wow, and I thought you were going to say boring stuff," said Ilya. "This is very cool so far – I'm impressed."

"Thanks," he said, unable to stop his smile at the compliment. "What do you want in yours?"

He was burning with curiosity to know what Ilya would choose for his.

"Well, everything you've said because it sounds really fucking cool," he said. "And then also a huge garage for all the cars that I'll have. And a smaller room for the model cars because I will have so many again by then."

He gave Shane's hand a squeeze here and Shane knew it was another thank you for the five new model cars Shane had got him for his birthday.

"It would only be right," Shane said, earning a huge grin from Ilya that made him feel buzzy all the way down to his toes.

"I also want one of those private movie theaters – like those ones you see on MTV Cribs, with the reclining seats and blackout curtains and surround sound. The jet-skis obviously, and a pool, even bigger than your parents' one. Also a slide that goes right from our bedroom all the way down to the pool so I don't have to waste time going down stairs in summer."

"A slide? Seriously?" Shane asked, unable to stop the way his nose wrinkled slightly. He was imagning a garish blue tube attached to the side of their beautiful house and it was ruining the fantasy a little.

"Hey," laughed Ilya, poking him in the ribs, "you asked me what I wanted in our dream cottage and I am telling you. I didn't judge yours."

This was true. He still didn't love the idea of the slide, but he could let it go for Ilya's sake. They could fight about it closer to the time.

"Fair enough," he said, conceding with a smile. "What else?"

"Well, we would need a ton of guest rooms for when all our family and friends stay over, so they all have their own rooms. Oh, and I want a hidden room. I don't even care what's in it, I just want to be able to pull a lever on a bookshelf and have the whole wall open like on Scooby Doo."

"Hidden room – got it," said Shane, like he was making a mental note. "We should probably add a gym too, if we're going to be professional athletes."

"There's the boring," laughed Ilya, shuffling closer to kiss Shane again. He was quiet for a moment or two and Shane watched his face as he looked up at the sky. There was a small frown between his eyebrows and without really planning to, Shane reached up to smooth it away. Ilya looked at him and took a deep, shaky breath. "Promise we'll do it, Shane? Promise me that one day, no matter what happens, we'll have a very cool lake house that belongs to just us?"

It was Shane's turn to sit up and look down at him.

"I promise, Ilya."

"You mean it?" asked Ilya, sitting up too. "It's my birthday, so you can't make a false promise, you know? That's at least eighteen years of bad luck if you break it."

"That's not a thing," Shane laughed, though he was just superstitious enough that he wasn't going to fuck around with the possibility it might be. "In any case, I promise you, Ilya Rozanov, that one day when we're both very famous and rich hockey players, we'll build a cottage…" Shane looked around for a secluded part of the lake and pointed, "…there. Just beyond that little island. I promise we'll have our cottage that's too big to be called a cottage, with a movie theater and a garage and a hockey room and a secret hidden room too."

"And a slide?" asked Ilya, waggling his eyebrows.

"We'll see," said Shane, not ready to promise that yet.

"Good enough," laughed Ilya, kissing Shane again, deeper this time. They probably shouldn't have been kissing in the open like this, but they were hidden from the cottage by a small clump of bushes and trees and Shane was feeling a little reckless, high on having Ilya nearby and being able to just do this now.

Shane wanted to stay here all day.

Unfortunately it was then that the wind started changing and a cool breeze swept over the lake, making Shane shiver despite himself.

"Come, chihuahua, we should probably get you into something warmer," said Ilya, hopping to his feet and offering Shane a hand up.

"I'm Canadian," said Shane defensively, holding onto his hand even once he was firmly on his feet. "I'm not scared of the cold."

"Well, I'm Russian and I don't think you've ever felt real cold."

"It's always a competition with you," Shane laughed fondly. Then, without any warning besides letting go of his hand suddenly, Shane began sprinting to the cottage, laughing as Ilya cursed him in Russian and tried to catch up.

Shane wondered if he ran fast enough, he could escape the end of summer looming on the horizon. He didn't want to think about going back to not having this every day.

And more than that, he didn't want to have to leave Ilya alone again.

Shane thought he caught something curious in the way Irina was watching them, it seemed like as soon as he noticed, she looked back at Yuna.

"That little girl is going to be the luckiest to have a big cousin like you," said Yuna, putting an arm around his shoulders and giving him a squeeze. Ilya was smiling wider than Shane had ever seen him smile before.

And then, it was the strangest thing. Suddenly the smile was fading, like the sun going behind the clouds as a storm rolled in. Shane reached out and took his arm in concern, but when Ilya looked back at him, he was smiling again, somehow even wider, though Shane didn't think it quite reached his eyes.

Something was wrong, and Ilya didn't want him to know about it.

Shane found this a little strange. It wasn't like he always needed Ilya to be real and raw and vulnerable around him, but he thought they'd moved past him hiding his feelings. He'd clawed his way to a place where Ilya told him about his dad and his brother and his struggles with his mom's sickness, and suddenly there was something that was off-limits again. Shane felt a small knot of dread start at the bottom of his stomach, but he swallowed it down.

Hopefully there would be a chance to ask Ilya about it later.

"Well, Irina," said Yuna, pulling Shane out of his thoughts before he could spiral all the way. "I think our boys are going to be too busy catching up to want to keep an old lady company tonight, and it's been way too long since we last had a wine and romcom night. How would you feel about staying over too? It's so rare that I get a girls' night."

"That sounds really nice," said Irina, smiling that smile that was so much like Ilya's and Shane wondered, not for the first time, if grownups really got as excited as they did about things like hanging out and sleepovers. "I have to finish some orders here, but I would really like that."

After making arrangements to collect her after her shopping later, Yuna and the boys made their way to the car. Shane won this round of shotgun but only because he slipped spectacularly on a patch of black ice and Ilya had been laughing too hard to finish the race. Shane had laughed about it too, but only after making damn sure he won.

Ten minutes later, the knot of dread in his stomach largely forgotten, they pulled into the driveway of the cottage.

"Okay, boys, you know the drill," said Yuna. "Remember the code is—"

"My jersey number and dad's jersey number," said Shane. "I remember, Mom."

"Okay, have fun," she said, giving Shane a kiss on the cheek, and turning to smile at Ilya. "Oh, one more thing – as tempting as I know it will look, no skating on the lake, okay? Not till we've taken a look to see if it's safe. Got it?"

"Got it," both boys said, then before Ilya had a chance to react, Shane darted to the trunk to get Ilya's duffel before he could fetch it.

"What was that all about?" asked Ilya with a slight frown. "I can carry my own bags, you know."

"I know," said Shane. "But maybe I'm trying to be romantic, okay? Maybe sometimes it's nice if your big strong boyfriend does it for you."

Shane could tell by the grin that Ilya had, in fact, liked the idea of that, even if he still grumbled about it all the way to the front door.

"And anyway," said Ilya, continuing his largely performative rant as they made it inside, "you're only a few centimeters taller than me right now, so when you say 'big' I think—"

Shane didn't think he'd ever get tired of kissing the words right out of Ilya's mouth.

"Happy anniversary, baby," said Shane, going to press his forehead to Ilya's as the pulled apart, feeling icy dread flood him as Ilya pulled back instead.

Oh god he'd fucked it.

"Baby?" Ilya asked and Shane had never regretted a word so instantly.

"Fuck, I knew I shouldn't have said it, I just thought since you always call me 'My Shane' or all your cute Russian names, I'd try one. I mean, I think it literally every time I talk to you these days, but I just… If you hate it I won't ever call you that again."

"My Shane, if you never call me that again I will be heartbroken," said Ilya, crashing their lips together in a way that flooded Shane's body with relief. "Please say it again?"

"It again," said Shane, relishing the groan and eyeroll he received in response. It was a stupid joke, but he was just so relieved that Ilya hadn't hated the pet name. "Fine, I'll be nice. Happy anniversary, baby."

"Happy anniversary, lyubimyy," said Ilya giving Shane a soft kiss before pressing their foreheads together. "It does feel different without the giant snowman."

"Jesus Christ, please don't ever mention that fucking snowman again," said Shane with a grimace. "I still haven't heard the fucking end of it at school."

And Ilya's raucous laughter was almost enough to make Shane forget how he seemed to forget how to smile earlier.

But only almost.

======

The first day of winter at the cottage was as magical as Shane had always dreamed it would be. It sucked that David wasn't there, especially because Yuna insisted that they would have to wait for him to prepare the ice for skating, but he gave them aall a call after work to say hi. He'd wanted to speak to Ilya too which had touched Ilya so much that he'd almost cried.

After a day spent playing hockey (both in the hockey room and on the Xbox), they'd fired up the pizza oven to make homemade pizzas with dough from the bakery. Well, Shane, Yuna, and Irina had made pizzas. Ilya had made a pile of toppings that he kept insisting was good but that Shane remained skeptical about.

They'd had huge mugs of Irina's famous hot chocolate as they watched the first of Yuna and Irina's stack of rented romcoms together, a new one where Reese Witherspoon was a ghost that Mark Ruffalo had to save from a coma. The moms had cried, but Shane had found the whole concept quite terrifying putting himself in Reese's shoes – the idea of relying on a stranger to save him from his well-intentioned family pulling the plug on him, and then forgetting everything about this person he was so in love with who'd just done absolutely crazy things to save his life. Shane didn't know why it freaked him out so badly, but it did.

Ilya must have sensed this, because he'd moved a little closer to Shane on the sofa and held his hand under the blanket they were sharing. Again, Shane thought he'd caught Irina's eyes on them a few times, but decided that maybe he was being a bit paranoid. He didn't let go of Ilya's hand though. No matter what, he'd promised himself he wouldn't do that.

After the freaky Reese Witherspoon movie, Shane and Ilya had gone to bed, leaving the moms to their wine and romcoms. When it came to sleeping arrangements, they reasoned that it only made sense, with it being as cold and snowy as it was, for Shane and Ilya to share a bed for body heat. And in next to no time, snuggled up on Shane's single bed, they were asleep.

Well, Ilya was asleep. Shane was lying in his arms still just staring up at the ceiling.

The thing was that there had been several more moments through the day where it felt like Ilya disappeared again. But every time Shane asked him about it, Ilya shook his head, said he was fine, and immediately changed the subject. Shane was close to brushing it off as something about his dad, but then Ilya started filling him on the latest about his dad from Alexei, and Shane was back to square one.

He didn't think it was about Alexei either because when Shane had asked him how things were going with him, he'd smiled and said he and his brother were getting along surprisingly well. So whatever it was, it was worse than his family in Russia if he couldn't bring himself to share it with Shane. There was the possibility that Ilya was cheating on him, but he dismissed this one right away. Call him naïve, but he just knew Ilya wouldn't do that to him.

All of which meant, that despite an hour of staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars that had charmed Ilya so much the first time he saw them, Shane was no closer to figuring out what was going on with Ilya.

The small knot of dread was now like that crazy biggest ball of yarn they'd seen one of their family trips.

He turned to his nightstand, to the glass of water he always kept there for if he got thirsty in the night, only to find that he'd forgotten to get one before going to bed.

A trip to the kitchen it was then.

After carefully extracating himself from Ilya's arms, pressing a kiss to his forehead when he protested in his sleep and assuring him he'd be back soon, Shane made his way down the hallway, surprised to find the light already on.

When he rounded the corner, Irina was sitting at the kitchen island, holding a glass of water and looking at a small laptop like it might explode.

"Irina?" Shane asked gently, trying not to startle her. She jumped anyway. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh. Yes," she said, trying to covertly wipe her eyes the same way Ilya sometimes did. If Shane noticed that they were a little red and blotchy, he certainly wasn't going to say anything. "I was just getting a glass of water and checking my email."

"Me too. Well, not the email, but the water. I… I need some." He grimaced, not sure at all how to navigate this particular interaction. It was rare to talk to Irina without Ilya there too and it had never been in his kitchen at one in the morning. Figuring it was safe to at least do what he came here for, he grabbed a glass from the cupboard and mad his way to the sink. "I usually keep a glass by my bed but I forgot tonight."

For a moment, there was quiet, save for the ticking of the kitchen clock and the sound of pouring water as Shane filled his glass, then Irina spoke.

"Shane, you and Ilyusha are not just friends, no?"

Shane's spine went icy and it took all of his hockey reflexes to not drop the glass in his hand. His cheeks were red-hot as he turned to look at his boyfriend's mom. Even if he lied now, his face would have probably told her everything. His heart was hammering and his mouth was bone-dry. Shane looked at Irina with dread, but she didn't look mad or particularly happy, just curious, like she was trying to figure something out.

"W-what makes you say that?" he said, risking a casual sip of water, most of which ended up sloshed down his shirt because his hands were shaking so badly.

"Well, I have never seen Ilyusha like this with any of his friends before," said Irina, gesturing for Shane to come sit in the stool next to hers. He was powerless to do anything but obey. "He has friends at school and hockey, but only Shane ever gets talked about. Even when you are not here, is like he talks about you even more."

"Oh, that's… I mean we're best friends, so I guess we, uh, we both talk—"

"Also I saw you and him kissing on your first day back in summer."

Shane was glad he was sitting because he was fairly sure that his legs would have given way beneath him if he'd been standing.

"You saw that?" he asked, unable to get his voice much louder than a whisper.

"I was not trying to," said Irina, putting a comforting hand on Shane's arm. He was grateful for it. He felt like he was to shake apart into atoms. "I heard noise near the dumpster and we sometimes have… I cannot remember the word. Yenot. Sometimes they call them like trash panda?"

"Oh, racoons?"

"Yes! Racoons. They get into the dumpster and make mess, so I was going to try to scare them, but then I saw it was you and Ilyusha and you were kissing."

"Fuck," said Shane.

"Not fuck," said Irina. She was still holding onto Shane's arm and now ran her thumb comfortingly along it to soothe him the way he'd seen her do with Ilya before. It would have made him feel all warm and pleased if it weren't for the way he felt like his whole world was suddenly falling apart. "I am not telling you to scare you or because I am angry about it. I am very happy about it. Is just that Ilyusha has not told me about it and I want him to tell me when he is ready, the way I am sure you would like to with your parents."

"You're not going to tell them?" This was almost too much to hope for.

"Is not my secret to tell," said Irina with a reassuring smile and it felt like all panicked air was being let out of him with how relieved and boneless he suddenly felt. "Anyway, I am glad to know about you and Ilyusha because I know how happy you make him. He makes you happy too, yes?"

"So happy, Irina," said Shane, feeling his eyes getting damp again at being able to talk to someone about this – someone who knew Ilya really well. "He's my favorite person in the whole world."

"I know he feels the same way," said Irina, giving his arm a squeeze. "The only reason I am telling you that I saw anything is that I wanted to say thanks. I know this year has been hard for Ilyusha. I have made this year hard for Ilyusha. It means a lot to know that you are looking out for his heart so much."

Shane wanted to say so many things to that. On the one hand, he was so grateful that Irina was supportive of the two of them, and that it didn't sound like she was going to say anything to his parents.

On the other hand though, Shane was kind of annoyed with her. He knew it was probably unfair of him but he was annoyed that Ilya had to feel like shit every time his mom did. He would always look after Ilya's heart as best he could, but it shouldn't just be him doing it. That was Irina's job too, and it seemed like most of the time it worked the other way round, with Ilya looking after her heart.

He wasn't going to say any of this out loud, of course. He knew how bad things were with her sickness, and he knew that she wasn't entirely her fault. So, instead, he took a deep shuddering breath.

"I… I really love him," he said. "I just want him to be happy."

"Me too, Shanya," she said, letting go of his arm to pull him into a hug instead, and Shane felt his heart swell at the nickname. "I am very grateful for you. He will need all the support he can get when we go back to Russia."

If Shane had felt like his world was ending earlier, it was nothing compared to what he felt with those words hanging in the air between them.

Ilya was leaving.

Ilya, who was already almost always too far away, was moving somewhere that would take way more than four hours to get to.

"Is he… are you… forever?" he said, struggling to breathe.

"No, no, only for some time," said Irina ressuringly. "We leave in a few weeks. There are things that are becoming difficult to fix here and it will be easier if me and Ilyusha are there to fix them. Yuna has given me some really good lawyers to talk to so hopefully we will be able to get this dealt with once and for all. I think we will not be gone for long, but it will still be very difficult for Ilyusha in that time. He will need someone on his side."

"Does he know about this?" asked Shane.

"I told him about a month ago. He was… not happy about it."

No, Shane was sure he wasn't. He could finally take a guess at what had been bothering Ilya all day.

But why the fuck hadn't Ilya just told him?

Now, rather than worried sick, Shane was kind of mad at him. Why would he pretend everything was okay? Did he think Shane would be mad? Maybe he wasn't being understanding, but this was the kind of thing he'd hope that Ilya would talk to him about. If he knew, they could plan, he could spend this time with Ilya knowing that it would be the last for a while. He wouldn't have been so fucking worried about him all day.

And he'd known for a whole month. Why didn't he feel like he could trust Shane with this?

Irina was watching him, waiting for him to say something. Shane took a deep, shuddering breath.

"I'll be on his side," he assured Irina. Because he always would be, no matter how annoyed he was.

"Of course I know you will, Solnyshko," said Irina giving him one last squeeze before closing her laptop and making her way to bed.

Shane stared down at his glass of water, trying to process the conversation he'd just had. He felt cold and sticky and he couldn't swallow down the anxiety that was bubbling up from inside him.

Eventually though, Shane finished his glass of water, put it in the diswasher, and made his way back to his room. For a moment, he strongly considered going to sleep on the air mattress, but the part of him that wasn't mad – the part of him that was worried about the long stretch of time coming up where Ilya would be thousands of miles from his arms – thought better of it. He locked the door and crossed the room to climb into bed next to Ilya.

Ilya immediately wrapped his arms around him and pressed a sleepy kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"M'Shane, where'd you go?" he asked, voice all gravelly with sleep in a way that for a moment made it difficult to remember why he was mad at him. But not difficult enough. He let out a sigh, and turned away from him so that he couldn't see him.

"Sleep, Ilya," said Shane, trying not to sound as angry as he was. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"K," came the sleepy reply. "Love you."

"Love you too," said Shane because it was true. It would always be true. No matter how mad he was right now.

Shane knew that he wouldn't be mad at all if it wasn't true.

"Fuck you, Rozanov, I'd obviously clean the plates. I'm just saying that even if your hands are clean and the plates are clean, your hands have oil that gets left behind when you handle them and white shows it less."

Far from winning him the argument, this only seemed to make Ilya laugh harder. Shane couldn't help but huff in amusement too, and within minutes the two of them were laughing so hard they were crying, bent double in pain at how much their abs hurt.

"Fine," Shane said, once they finally calmed down. They were pretty visible out here on the island so Shane didn't want to risk kissing him – as much as he wanted to – but he was fairly sure no one would see them hold hands. He lay back on the grass and threaded his hand through Ilya's. "One day, once our house is all built and ready to go, you can choose the plates. But I'm still choosing the silverware because you don't understand why the forks in the drawer are perfect and the forks on the hanging cultery stand suck."

"That's because how is there a difference? They are both forks – they help get food into your mouth. That's all you need from a fork."

"Yeah, but it's about the feel of it too. The hanging set is so flat, and thin. And square." Shane didn't even want to look at Ilya right now. He knew he was probably giggling silently again. "They're horrible to hold. I don't understand how you can even focus on what you're eating with those monstrosities in your hand."

"When we get back to the cottage I will show you. There is no such thing as bad or good cutlery. It's just the tools you use to put food into your face."

"I bet you anything Olga's only going to put out the good stuff though," said Shane. Olga was making a fancy dinner for everyone that night since it was the Hollanders' last night in town. Shane knew she would have good opinions on which were the correct silverware and plates to use. "She works in the fancy hotel. She definitely knows what she's talking about."

"Ugh, that's it," said Ilya, and for one heartstopping moment, Shane thought he'd finally done it – he'd finally reached the point where Ilya found him too weird or insufferable or whatever people thougt when they'd decided they'd had enough of him. But no, when Shane looked Ilya was grinning. He could breathe again. "You are simply too fucking cute. I know you don't want to kiss out here, so we are kayaking back to the dock right now so I can kiss you properly about it."

Shane grinned and began pushing his kayak towards the water. It took them another ten minutes to get back to the dock (mostly because Ilya insisted on paddling around the island a few more times, mostly as an excuse to start a splashing war) but as soon as they'd climbed out and hoisted their kayaks up after them, Ilya pounced, pinning Shane to the dock and kissing him to within an inch of his life. Shane wished he could disappear into this moment – to live the rest of his life in this one perfect snapshot of summer.

"Hey," said Ilya, propping himself up on his arms so that he could look at Shane properly. "Don't think I didn't notice how you got a little tense earlier. Is everything okay?"

Shane nodded and pulled his lips into a thin line. Why was this making him want to cry?All he knew was that he didn't want Ilya to know how scared he always was about the invisible line, the one he always crossed with people. It was always there, the thing that made people turn on him, and it was only a matter of time before Ilya found it.

"I'm fine, I promise," he told Ilya, who raised his eyebrows in that way that told Shane he wasn't buying it at all. He took a deep breath. "I just… I guess I keep waiting for you to see that thing that everyone else sees. The thing that makes them stop liking me or tolerating me or… I don't know. I keep thinking somethings going to happen that's going to make you see that I'm not the person you think I am."

Ilya frowned so deeply that for one heartstopping moment, Shane was worried that he'd just spoken it into existence.

"Ilya?" he asked.

"Sorry, I just… you really think I would do that?" His voice was quiet, like he was talking to an animal he didn't want to scare away.

"Yes. No. I don't fucking know, Ilya," said Shane, bringing his hands up over his face as he felt the tears threatening to leave his eyes. "It happens with everyone. Every time I think I make a friend or get close to someone, I do something or say something and it's like a switch gets flipped and suddenly that person doesn't like me anymore. I don't… I don't think you'd be like that, but I also just haven't ever had anyone prove me wrong."

"Fuck, Shane," said Ilya, lying back down, but only so he could gather Shane into his arms. His skin was warm from the sun and cool from the breeze and Shane buried his face into his neck and just breathed, fighting his tears with everything he had. "Every time I think I'm as angry as I can be with everyone who's ever made you feel like shit, you tell me some new thing and I'm even more pissed off."

He pressed a kiss to the top of Shane's head and despite his best efforts, he felt a tear slipping down his cheek.

"I know it's not your fault you think this way, but, Shane, My Shane, you're going to have to start believing me when I say you're the best thing in my life, okay? I'm not just saying that to try to win boyfriend points or whatever. Without you, I don't know where or who I would be, especially this year. Especially with everything with Mama. I just… I don't think it's possible for me to ever be sick of you. Especially when I don't get to see enough of you to even be used to you being here. Time with you is only ever a good thing. I'll be the one to prove you wrong, okay?"

He pulled away from Shane to look at him and wiped his tears away, even as Shane could see tears forming in his own eyes.

"Fuck," said Shane, buring his face into Ilya's neck again.

"Fuck," Ilya agreed, voice thick. And if their chests shook a little bit more than usual or their necks and shoulders were getting damp, neither of them said anything – just clung to each other until their breathing returned to normal.

Shane's eyes fluttered closed against Ilya's shoulder.

"Whatever we do, we cannot fall asleep like this," he said, stifling a yawn, completely spent after crying. "It's a little overcast so we'll burn worse than usual if we do."

"You're so boring, My Shane," said Ilya through a yawn of his own, in a way that sounded exactly like 'I love you'.

They woke up an hour later, beet red, apart from a sliver of pale skin on Ilya's left, and Shane's right.

 "Oh jesus, we didn't just burn," said Shane, scrambling to his feet, looking at Ilya's torso in terror. "We burned our arms into each other's skin."

"Moy pomidor, you're saying it like this isn't the most romantic thing ever," said Ilya, pulling Shane in for a kiss. Shane did not appreciate knowing the Russian for 'My Tomato' in this moment. "We'll have the reminder of this nap for maybe weeks."

"There is nothing romantic about skin cancer," said Shane, accepting the kiss, even though he was grumpy now. "Or our fucking sunburn giving us away."

Ilya laughed.

"We won't get skin cancer from one burn," he said, pulling Shane tight against his chest, and despite his best efforts to stay annoyed with him, he immediately dissolved into the embrace. "And we'll wear shirts and stuff around our parents from now on till it fades. Summer's over anyway."

He was right, of course, but the words sat heavy over both of them. Especially with it starting to get darker and the night creatures strarting their songs.

"Fuck," said Shane, face pressed into Ilya's neck. "I don't want to go home."

"I don't want you to go home." The words rumbled against Shane's chest. "I want to keep you here and build our cottage with all the money we made at the flower shop this summer."

"I don't think we'll get very far with just a couple hundred dollars," said Shane miserably.

"Maybe not. But you're very good at talking and I'm very charming. Between the two of us we might be able to get a few discounts."

Shane laughed. He loved this ridiculous boy so much.

"I suppose if we tell them it's for the sake of true love…" he said. "Fine, let's do it. Keep me here. Don't let me leave."

As a loon call tore through the relative quiet of the lake, Ilya sighed and held Shane even tighter.

"I really wish I could."

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Lily: Uv got mail <3 Imprtant stuf! Luv u x

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From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: Some news

My Shane

I know we had such a long Skype call yesterday, but SO much has happened since then, that I feel like I need to email you about it.

The best and most exciting news is that Olga is having a baby!!!! They've apparently known since summer, but decided to keep it quiet because they were told they couldn't have children, so they wanted to be very sure before they started sharing it with others. They told me it was okay to tell you – they're going to call David and Yuna to tell them tomorrow, I think.

But seriously, how cool is that?? We're going to have a baby!! I know it would be my cousin, but I really feel like I am getting a little sister. (It's a girl by the way!! <3). I can't wait to meet her. I already know she's going to be the cutest most adorable thing in the whole world. She's due on xmas day which is really cool (or bad for her because she probably won't get double presents. I mean she will from me, but that's because I'm determined to be her favorite cousin/big brother.)

I asked Mama if this means we could also finally get a puppy since we're growing the family anyway, and she just laughed and said Nice Try, which is a good sign that she's getting better I think! She's started going to this therapy thing at the church. I don't think it's actually from the church, they just meet in that big church hall that everyone uses for events and things. Mama still won't go to any of the churches here, even though I think she still prays sometimes.

Anyway, I know you and your family aren't very religious so I won't keep talking about all that. I just wanted to let you know that she's doing better. I've only had to help with one or two shifts the past month and Mama was still working both of them, I was just helping make it a little easier for her.

It's about to get more complicated though, I think, because the other thing I wanted to tell you is that Alexei has been in touch with me.

He messaged me last night after our call to ask if we could talk sometime and I didn't know what else to do so I said yes. I was pretty sure it was a trick from my dad, but Alexei said that no, it was about my dad so I figured I should listen to him. I told Mama I was going to sit by the lake a bit because I was missing you (which I always am so it was barely a lie), and Mama believed me (because she knows how much I'm always missing you ;___; <3) so I went to that bench we like sitting at sometimes when it's a weekday and there's not many people around and told him he could call me.

And at first I was so angry with him, because he's been doing all this stuff to undermine Mama's case and I yelled at him about it for a bit, but then he yelled back at me about how I don't know what it's like back home and how terrible Papa has been to him. He is still mad at Mama for leaving him behind, even though Mama has explained how she could only bring one person and she chose me because she wanted to protect me and Alexei was already 18 so she hoped he could at least move out. And even though Alexei did move out, Papa still makes his life hell. He keeps putting all this pressure on him even though he doesn't live with him anymore.

Alexei told me last night that he really wants to study something to do with computers, he was trying to save up for a long time, but Papa found out about it and it got really ugly. He wants Alexei to be police like him because he's been talking to all his police friends about it for years, how much Alexei wants to be like him.

He hit Alexei so hard he apparently has a black eye now. So he that he was tired of helping Papa, so he wanted to reach out to me. He's still too mad at Mama to want to talk to her though and I guess I get it. I can't imagine how angry and hurt I'd be if Mama left me behind.

So anyway, Alexei and I are talking now. I don't know how to feel about it yet. I still don't trust that it's not some kind of trick that my father is pulling, but I've just really missed my brother. We were never really close, but I really wanted us to be because I always thought he was so cool, and now it sounds like Alexei might want the same thing. We'll see. I'll definitely keep you updated on what happens.

Ugh I can't believe I have to wait until October until I can see you again!!!! This year is going at the speed of snail. I'm worried I'm going to forget how to kiss before our next hockey game. I'm going to get there and just stand there like an idiot while you try to kiss me with those beautiful lips of yours and it's going to be so disappointing for you. I guess I'm going to have to practice.

Things are about to get reeeally awkward between my pillow and me.

Anyway, I miss you so much and I love you always. Let me know when you get this so we can start freaking out about my new baby sister cousin together, okay?

Your Ilya

xxx

P.S. I just know you panicked when I mentioned kissing practice. You thought I meant with someone else. Admit it. :P

You never have to worry though. You know you're the only person I ever want to practice kissing with. <3 <3

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From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: RE: Some news

Dear Ilya

Oh my god! This is so exciting! I think Sergei and Olga are on the phone with my parents right now telling them. A baby girl! Your family must be so excited. It's going to be so cute seeing you with a baby.

Is it bad that I'm maybe a little jealous? I used to really wish for a baby brother or sister (especially a baby sister), but I learned very quickly that that's the one subject I can't bring up with Mom and Dad because they get really weird about it. Not in a bad way – they just get really sad and heartbroken. I'll have to see what it's like through you.

Oh my god, Mom just came in to tell me about Olga and Sergei and she asked me how I'd feel about us doing Christmas at the cottage this year!

Ilya!!! We're coming to the cottage for Christmas this year!!!!

Mom and I are going to stay for all of winter break, but Dad can only really come for the Christmas weekend. He can stay for Boxing Day though, so at least it's a long weekend for him. I think we're going to invite you and your mom over for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas lunch. Sergei and Olga too, but if the baby is due on Christmas I suppose they might not be able to.

I know that Mom's real motivation for wanting to go is wanting to see the baby right away, but I think she also wants Dad and her to be there to help in case it's needed, so that Sergei and your mom can focus on helping Olga. So hopefully if everything goes right we'll actually get to celebrate Christmas together.

I know you said you guys don't really do a big Christmas the way we do it, so I don't think there's going to be any pressure if you don't want to. But it would be nice to at least sneak one kiss under the mistletoe once everyone's asleep (I'm pretty sure we're going to be asking you to all stay over). I know it's really far away, but oh my god I'm so excited. We've never done Christmas at the cottage and I just know it's going to be so beautiful in the snow.

Oh and it's going to be our anniversary too! How crazy?? We'll have been together one year by then. <3

I'm glad to hear Irina is doing better. You both deserve life to give you a break. And I don't mind talking religious stuff if you want to. If it's important to you, it's important to me, right?

About Alexei getting in touch, that's so crazy. I'm glad it's sounding like something positive and not bad, even though you're worried. I really hope it's everything you want it to be – with Alexei being the brother you want him to be. I've got your back if it goes bad though, okay? I'll kick his ass. I don't care that I'm fourteen and in Canada. I'll fly to Russia. I'm a hockey player, I'm not scared of a fight.

(But mostly I hope that he's a good guy and that you get the relationship you want with him.)

You're right. October is way too far away. And if you're worried about getting bad at kissing, imagine how I feel!!! You're the one who taught me. :/ I'm going to have to practice with my pillow too. Can't let my favorite coach down. ;)

Love you and miss you always too. I've taken to building our cottage on The Sims whenever I'm bored or stressed. I'm attaching some pictures so you can see what I'm kind of imagining and you can tell me if you like it or what you would like to change. I think it'll help with the distance if we remember that it won't always be like this.

Love you so much it aches.

Your Shane

xxx

P.S. … I'll admit I got a tiiiny bit jealous until I read further. Those lips are mine, Rozanov. We've got an exclusive no-sharing training contract.

But I know you would never. You're the first person besides my mom and dad that I can't imagine ever hurting me, because I know you feel the way I do. And the way I feel is that I would rather get my fingers skated over than ever do anything to hurt you.

We'll get to practice soon. <3 <3 <3

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Lily: Gt ur mail. My Jane ur da qtest bt i dnt c the slide on r cottage in da pics :( </3

Jane: I neva prmised th slide! If ur team beats us in oct, mayb ill ad it. ;) x

Lily: O ur gna ad tht slide 4 sure! ;P Luv u xx

Jane: O its ON. >:D Luv u 2 xxx

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Jane: Ugh ading th slide now. I h8 u.

Lily: No u dnt. I hv da hicky 2 pruv it. ;P

Jane: Rolin my i's so hrd rn >.>

Jane: I do luv u tho. So much.

Jane: Nd the kissn was perf btw. Idk y u wer wrryd. Ur evn betr at it thn hocky i thnk ;)

Lily: Dw, we'll finaly get u gud at bth wen ur hre 4 xmas ;) Luv u 2 x

Jane: Fk u >.> Luv u. Msn wen ur home? <3

Lily: It's a d8. <3 <3

June Love The sun on the water The scent of the pines in the air Let's not head back like we ought to Stay a little longer, Love Stay here with me

Your fingertips on my shoulder The cool of the lake at our feet Yes, I know it's getting colder But stay a little longer, Love Stay here with me

My June Love Hold closer to me The nights are getting longer And I don't want you to leave

We're warming up by the fire As we try to steal a few hours more Yes, I know you're getting tired But stay a little longer, Love Stay here with me

Your smile in the moonlight The secrets we share in the dark I wish for forever in this tonight Stay a little longer, Love Stay here with me

My June Love Hold closer to me The days are getting shorter And I don't want you to leave

The last stars in the evening We knew that this summer would end Come the dawn you'll be leaving But stay a little longer, Love Stay here with me