show me how you want it to be
tell me baby, ‘cause I need to know now
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show me how you want it to be
tell me baby, ‘cause I need to know now

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Pip should meet Olivia
Bring all the ladies to know me.
Tbh I constantly swing between yeah I probably do have depression and nah I'm just lazy and that's an easy crutch to fall on. I genuinely don't know which it is and that's just as annoying as anything else.
The obvious answer then is to actually go talk to a professional about it. I can't count the ways in which that's terrifying, but I'll try to name a few. Talking to a stranger. Talking to a stranger about myself. Talking to a stranger about myself about things that I don't even understand and can never put into words.
And if I do have depression. Then what? Medication? Therapy sessions? For what purpose? I just don't feel like there's any point, there's no real end-game that those will help towards. I'm pretty much already AT my end-game. And that's part of the problem.
And if I don't? What then..?