#ofishul

RISKY BUSINESS  Starring: Frank “Ol’ Ding Dong” Slytherin; Elmer “Nachoman” Glueington; Siesta Savannah; and The Horseman with No Arms, Darian. Painstakingly illustrated by our resident historian and artist, Abbey “The Bee” Jordan.

Roxanna: We are the fish cult. This is true. A group of friends brought together by fate. We enjoy each others' company, I'd like to think. We get together for tea and board games and general fun times, no vices. "I'm a girl and I like grammar," is how I've described myself in places recently, but recently I've found I also like many other things, like music, and words, and logic, and puzzles and mysteries. Things I once knew that are finally coming back.

Darian: Behead all those who insult Islam, true believers! ELIPSES

Savannah: Aromatic and free

against all liberty

eating only what I see

Savannah.

Elmer: My favorite song is David Bowie.

Abbey:Explorer of the Hawiwi.

Abbey of the great wild west.

You know whos the best?

Oh Yes, A-B-B-E-EST

Savannah: Abbey. You're like a medium, but sometimes you're orange. To much wisdom might blow the minds. The beyonds. The masses.

Abbey: The meeple. Instead of sheeple.

Darian: What's a meeple?

Abbey: The math people.

Elmer is drawing. I am typing. David Bowie or fabulous cheekbones are what Elmer's drawings normally look like.

Savannah: I'm like a fish person.

Darian: We're all fish people, anyway.

Abbey: I should show you guys. It's really good. In the picture is me, hunched over, really angry-looking. And she looked so happy and I'm just like MEH. All hunched over and like, looking into space.

Savannah:(to Elmer) Do I have a weird sash? Am I napoleon? *sighs* Can't wait for Chrimbus.

This is tiring. I should probably go home soon. Love the cult. Love typing. Love writing. Love words.

Savannah: We should get masks then. And then perform intricate dance routines. Elmer has a very good Lucky Star dance routines. The three of us (Elmer, Savabbey) can do it. Legitimately. Two is the charm, really. People always go for three, its incorrect. We're not saying anything that is of substance. I think when Frank said his name it was pretty much substantial. Elmer kinda introduced his hair. I haven't found another Savannah Dessert before. I am one in a million.

Elmer: I've seen a lot of Savannah Desserts on Facebook.

Abbey: One of the freshmen was telling me that for their bioology class they were studying some magical biology quizlet that was made by someone named Abbey Johnson and she asked if it was me. My new name is Abbey Johnson.