#officialese

Garner’s Usage Tip of the Day

Officialese is the language of officialdom, characterized by bureaucratic turgidity and insubstantial fustian; inflated language that could be readily translated into simpler terms. E.g.: “To promote the successful completion of our customary mid-diurnal paradigm regarding the procurement of necessary nutritional supplementation and the advancement of the contemporaneous, spontaneous, and coterminous interdialoguing of affiliated human-services assets, the present contingent should initiate both direct and lateral movements as appropriate to minimize and at the end of the day eliminate the physical separation between the target population and the aliment-preparation and -dispensation facilities.” As translated: “Let’s talk over lunch.”

Officialese is governed by four essential rules. First, use as many words as possible. Second, if a longer word (e.g., “utilize”) and a shorter word (e.g., “use”) are both available, choose the longer. Third, use circumlocutions whenever possible. Fourth, use cumbersome connectives when possible (“as to,” “with regard to,” “in connection with,” “in the event of,” etc.).

medusa would be rad, but only if the snakes changed color with my mood. like, happy=bright purple, sad=dark blue, stuff like that. a werewolf would be cool too though. ((what if you were a weresheep I’d die of cute))

aaa yes excellent I will be the cutest sheep

where is this magical place??

right by the melbourne mall