#ofdemoniics

               now roman had developed his own coping mechanism. and that was drinking until he felt like his head would explode the next morning and his stomach would come up and out his mouth. so he found himself visiting the nearest bar  ( certainly nothing to do with the hold devitt had on him, no. roman just didn’t want to get lost )  and downing drink after drink after drink. as if his head wasn’t already a mess, the alcohol only stirred the pot. the confusion of his feelings and why he felt so at home in this place. why he found himself depending on devitt and the others for guidance and structure even if he wasn’t always happy. 

               feet unsteady and vision blurring in and out, roman finds his way back to the dojo and right in front of devitt’s door. he curses himself under his breath, hand raising and knocking a little too hard on the door. there was no way this could end well. not for him.

[text: Big In Japan] Never say I don’t know how to take instructions

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[text: Abs o’clock] They were for you! [text: Abs o’clock] Well, those weren’t because they’re awful [text: Abs o’clock] I wanted to show you the new lingerie I got [text: Abs o’clock] Hang on

[ Picture Message: Sent ]

❰ sms - #finnfreeze - sent ❱   pregnant with twins tbh ❰ sms - #finnfreeze - sent ❱   but it could grow bigger. like, if i find some pie somewhere ❰ sms - #finnfreeze - sent ❱   or cake. yes. good. do you have cake???

     Rifts were the worst things to overcome. A daily communication that had almost become silenced on both ends. Rehabilitation and constant ANXIETY over his pending return consumed his everyday life ; it was his number one priority over everything. Perhaps negligence had become somewhat of a company for him, the solitude helping him grasp the top of the ladder to come THIS FAR. “…I had a task'ta accomplish.” A goal in mind. Crosshairs had been occupied for the last several months and…DISTRACTIONS couldn’t be a lingering thought.

           But this was BAYLEY. This was someone that he had grown ATTACHED to.

      “Sacrifices…sometimes have'ta be made for ‘da greater good.” That could’ve been worded in a manner that didn’t come across as STERN, but…the sudden burst of syllables that dropped out of Bayley caught him off guard. A thick sheet of instant regret shimmered behind beryl mountains, fighting the urge to just LOOK at her. To have that courage to FACE his faults…when in all reality, he ABANDONED her. He had nearly abandoned A GREAT PERCENTAGE of what little allies he had accumulated since his arrival to America.

                         “…..I needed’ta concentrate on the GOLDEN PRIZE.”

        POOR CHOICE OF WORDS, FINN. And my god, he knew the repercussions wouldn’t exactly be something that would come out in a string of lullabies.

       DON’T LET APPEARANCES FOOL YOU      --     if anyone was aware of the cutthroat nature of the business they’d fallen in love with, it was bayley.  kept in the confinements of developmental for so long,   she’d played the part of the shoulder-to-cry-on enough times to have heard it all.    but no amount of grief, past or present, would have prepared for the hollow feeling in her chest that made itself known upon finn’s disappearance.   from her tv screen, from her life.     sometimes, late at night, when there was no screams from a crowd seemingly more passionate than her,    she’d wonder whether the sinking feeling in her chest was because he’d taken half her heart with him when he’d left.

                       and the worst of it all was that she couldn’t even let him know.

      how he managed to turn from one of her closest friends to a stranger within a matter of weeks was BEYOND her, but there was little she could do about it now.   or, at least, that was what she’d been telling herself for a while.   blaming him for their lack of contact helped dull the pain of the thought that it was her mistake to; for not trying more, for being too afraid to try more.    and she’d have been proved wrong if his choice of words hadn’t justified her fear.

             “Oh.”    she’d uttered, blinking once, twice -- until the initial shock had worn off and she was able to view the situation just as it was.     “Is it selfish of me to say I didn’t realise how easy I was to sacrifice?”     her tone wavered, throat becoming heavy with a sadness she’d pushed to the side for too long.     she’d not let the tears come; she’d die before she let him see how much this was affecting her.