#ofau

college-era william living lavish off his daddy’s money is probably the most interesting asshole anyone in utah has ever had the chance to witness alive. what do you mean he drives a purple car. what do you mean he’s pursuing a degree in computational mathematics with a minor in technical engineering. what do you mean he’s joined the local theatre troupe. what do you mean he plays a bach trumpet in the jazz ensemble. what do you mean he has the fastest pitch on the baseball team at 75 MPH. what do you mean his father forced the uni to create a men’s team for track and field just because william wanted to join. what do you mean he joined the cheer team to impress the girls. what do you mean he sometimes teaches in his classes just because he can wrap his head around the most complex shit the professors throw at him. what do you mean he’s a giggly bastard who day-drinks and makes sex jokes when it’s only henry and edwin around to see him. what do you mean he’s friends with edwin murray. what do you mean he can draw cartoon animals. what do you mean he has a split tongue due to accidentally biting it right in the middle when he got socked in the jaw by a cop for supporting the civil rights act his sophomore year. what do you mean he brazenly calls people “cunts” in public. what do you mean he’s afraid of mice. what do you mean he goes to house parties just to hook up with his fellow male athletes. what do you mean he had a girlfriend the entire time. what do you mean he wears wingtip oxfords every single day and not just to church. what do you mean he inherited fazbear entertainment the year after graduation. This Man Cannot Be Real He Is The State Cryptid.