#odaa

Kira rolled her eyes as Saja squirmed closer to her. “Of course you do.”

“So? Tell me. What’s your secret, babe?”

Kira gave her girlfriend a hard look. “You know how I feel about pet names.”

Sadja didn’t balk. “Yes, I do. So, baby. Tell me your secret. If you don’t I might be forced to call you sickeningly-sweet pet names for the rest of eternity.”

“Are you sure you want to go down this road? I’m very stubborn.”

“So am I, bae.”

“Disgusting.”

“Aw,” Sadja coos, “You love the attention. Don’t lie.”

“Since when have I lied?”

“Well if you really want to go there—”

Kira sat up straight, almost flinging Sadja across the couch. “No, let’s not go there. And sorry. Are you ok?”

The demon rubbed her jaw. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I mean, I have a broken jaw now and I might finally die but I’m fine.”

“Yeah, you’re ok.”

Sadja gave a loud hmph in response. “So, secret?”

“If I tell you, it won’t be a secret now anymore now will it?”

“It could be a secret between us?”

Kira pretended to think about it. “Nah, you can’t keep a secret.”

Sadja pouted. “Yes, I can!”

“Ok, so what about that time when I was planning to—”

Sadja lept across the couch and covered Kira’s mouth with her hand. “If you’re gonna say the Mark thing, I swear that I’ll find a way to kill you.”

“Devils don’t die,” said Kira. But with Sadja’s hand in the way, it sounded a lot like Dvbils don’t dive.

“Not yet they don’t.” She gave Kira her best puppy dog eyes. “Promise not to mention the Mark thing?”

Kira rolled her eyes and nodded. Once her mouth was free, she smirked. “Anyways, Mark—”

“Kira!”

“Fine, fine. Wanna know my secret? Come closer.”

Sadja instantly sat up and leaned in. “What?”

KIRA SATANAS

In this house we worship and respect the devil

Name: Kira (Kai-ra- NOT key-ra she’s very particular about that) Satanas

Age: 21 (eons)

Sex: female

Sexuality: ace lesbian

Birthday: doesn’t remember-just celebrate on 6/6

Height: 5'4

Race: (appears as) Chinese

Eye color: red- wears brown colored contacts

Hair color- black (has an inverted bob)

Glasses? Yes but she doesn’t need them

Alignment: Lawful Good

Favorite weapon: (in this order) Scythe, daggers, pitchfork

Fun Facts: the devil, a lesbian, can see how many sins one has committed and what type of sins they’ve committed. 7 deadly sins are individual demons that she created as a child(she was kind of a bratty kid ngl) that serve her. She is very blunt and likes to get things done. Very straightforward and sarcastic. Strong as fuck. A fair judge- everyone in hell respects her. Has a pentagram tattooed on back, when she sees people’s sins, depending on how bad they are, she can either kill you where you are and send you to one of the 9 circles, or she will give you a second chance (not without smacking a little sense into you first). was once friends with dominic

Likes- consent, respect, cats, classical music, tea, equality.

Dislikes: Dominic Christus, racism, oppression, smoking, drinking, sex, being mistaken for weak

DOMINIC CHRISTUS

oh, look, a douchebag

Name: Dominic Christus

Age: 21 (eons)

Sex: Male

Sexuality: straight

Birthday: 7/7 (he thinks)

Height: 6'7

Race: (appears as) caucasian

Eye color: gold (wears green contacts if he feels like it)

Hair color: chestnut

Glasses? No

Alignment: chaotic neutral at first, then switches to chaotic evil

Favorite weapon: (in order) sword, pistols, his bare hands

Fun Facts: God. A fuckboy and an asshole (later turns insane and psychotic) Rude, loud, and obnoxious. Was once a good guy. Was once friends with Kira. Saved her from creeps once upon a time. Doesn’t know where all this Jesus nonsense came from but hey, they worship him so why not? Mary is actually his slutty side hoe. He DID create the 7 holy virtues but that was a LONG time ago. Good boy turned bad in the worst possible way. Supposed to judge others when they die and see if they should be sent to hell or not but shoves everyone to hell without judging them. Kira has to do extra work because of this. Has a tattoo of angel wings on his back.  (Started some wars because he was bored?) Also ripped as fuck. Even Kira has to admit he’s attractive much to her dismay. borderline racist and homophobic

Likes: calling Kira key-ra, drinking, sex, drugs, smoking, seeing humanity pitted against each other and tearing each other apart

Dislikes: anything kira likes, being told no, not getting his way

SADJA INNOCENTES

she wears slutty clothes because they're more functional

Name: Sadja (SAH-di-a) Innocentes

Age: 20 (millennia)

Sex: female

Sexuality: bi

Birthday: who knows just celebrates whenever she wants

Height: 5'6

Race: (appears as): caucasian

Eye color: pink

Hair color- pink

Glasses? No

Alignment: Chaotic good

Fun Facts: slutty clothes? Why not? They’re easier to move in. Also, they show off her assets. It’s a win-win. A demon who loves herself but loves her gf more. Helps gabriel get to understand and express himself and his sexuality more

Likes: Kira Satanas, herself, parties, herself, sleeping in, coffee, herself, annoying Kira,…has she mentioned that she really, really, likes herself?

 “How the hell do you know your way around a strip club, Gabriel?”

Gabriel blushed. “Dominic sometimes takes me here to try to ‘get me hella laid’.”

Sadja arched an eyebrow. “Right…”

“Sadja!”

“Have you ever gotten hella laid, Gabriel?”

“N-no,” murmured the angel.

Kira coughed and Sadja’s jaw dropped. “What. Gabriel Ace Nullius do not tell me that you are that heavenly. You’re a virgin?!” 

“Ace isn’t my middle name. A-anyways, Dominic should be in this area—”

The demon marched in front of him and placed her hands on her hips. A passerby shoved some dollar bills in the waistband of her shorts and let his hand wander but she batted his hand away. “I’m not a stripper,” she growled as she pocketed the money. “Anyways, don’t change the subject, Nullius. “You’re a virgin?”

Kira stepped in between her girlfriend and their (very red and very sweaty) friend. “Sadja, don’t you think we can deal with this issue later? We have more important things to worry about. Like finding Dominic for example.”

Sadja rolled her eyes. “Please. The dickhead probably hasn’t left this place for days. He’s not going anywhere. Right now, we have a new mission.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened. “Please don’t try to get me laid. I really don’t want my first time to be with a stripper.”

“How old are you Gabriel? 16 millennia?”

“18 millennia,” he muttered.

“Whatever the point is, you’re old. Not really. By our standards, you’re still a baby. Anyways, you’ve been on this shit rock for a long time. Surely you’ve met some girls? Or guys? Or someone in-between?”

“I, I have…”

“So what happened to them?

Kira sighed. “Sadja, now really isn’t the time—”

“Shush, Kira. I love you, but this is distressing for me. Even you’ve had sex! And you’re ace! So why hasn’t he had any?”

“Sadja.”

“Kira.”

“Guys.” The two women looked towards Gabriel who was clenching his fists. “I, I already like someone else, okay? I like him a lot but he doesn’t like me back.”

“He doesn’t like you back or he doesn’t know?”

“Both. Anyways, I’m coming to terms with that fact and I’m currently trying to get over him and until then, I don’t want to do anything, okay?”

Kira and Sadja looked at each other in surprise. Sadja sighed. “Ok. I’m sorry. Just,” She brushed past her girlfriend and placed her hands on his shoulders and squeezed. “Promise me that you’ll get laid at least once in your eternal life? Please? For me?” 

Gabriel relaxed and smiled. “Sure, Mom.”