#oc limit

The remaining Council members agreed, directing compliments and congratulations your way, but it all seemed too distant to take in. You managed a wan smile and nodded at them in thanks, but it felt as if the ship were tilting dangerously to one side.

Master Secura took pity on you before everything became too strange. “After we have rested and made our reports, we will perform your Knighting ceremony. For now, see Limit about your injuries and get something to eat. You may leave, Padawan.”

You nodded, grateful for the dismissal. As you turned, however, your master rested a strong hand on your shoulder. Her familiar face curved into a smile and she leaned in to tell you, “I am proud of all you have accomplished.”

That broke through the strange detached feeling and you smiled at her. “Thank you, Master. I could not have accomplished any of this without you.”

And then you left, feeling as though your feet were only just able to keep up with how quickly you were moving. Or maybe you were having trouble separating the pace of your body from the pace of your thoughts. 

You had been chosen as a padawan later than some of the others, a year or two into your teen years by the time Master Secura was ready to start teaching. She had been fairly new to Knighthood herself, but the Force had instructed her to take a padawan and she had listened. 

For your part, you had been a quiet youngling, dedicated to your studies of everything from field medicine to saber training. You weren’t overly fond of Force-augmented gymnastics, but you were passable at everything else. When Master Secura had chosen you as her padawan, you had been surprised. However, Master Yoda confirmed her choice had been guided by the Force and you were off to learn from the Twi’lek Jedi. 

And now, that learning was complete. 

You didn’t feel ready. Should you? Surely the Council wouldn’t make you a Knight if you weren’t ready. The Force wouldn’t let them. And yet, you had heard of padawans being made Knights earlier and earlier with the war going on. There was a greater need for generals to lead the Republic’s troops and help fight against the Separatist forces…

Your thoughts circled, sharp and angry as an akk-dog’s jaws. Your feet kept moving, the weariness of battle and the armor in your clothing a distant detail with no bearing on your current state. All you could do was walk and think, think and walk. 

This was going to change everything. You would be leaving the 327th and all of the troopers who were part of it. They were technically your subordinates, but they were more than that - they had been for a long time. You had worked with them, fought with them, laughed with them, comforted and been comforted by them. They were just as much a part of your life as any of the Jedi you had grown up alongside in the Temple. How would you manage without them?

Beyond that, you would be in charge of a group of men. As a padawan, you had been able to get away with certain behavior. The closeness you shared with the men was frowned upon by the Jedi, but would have been entirely inappropriate for a general. It was behavior you wouldn’t be able to repeat when you were a general, in charge of your own troops. 

Something brushed your shoulder and you jumped, only then becoming aware of a large shape looming to your left. You used a touch of the Force to redirect yourself sideways, settling into a half-turned stance with one hand near the lightsaber attached to your hip. 

So much of your most recent mission had been based on stealth and undercover operations. Perhaps that was the reason you were so jumpy. Whatever the cause, you had been fully expecting to see a droid when you turned - a super battle droid, or even a commando droid if you were particularly unlucky. 

Instead, your eyes fell on Limit, the 327th’s medic. 

His eyes were wide - he was as surprised as you were. Still, he left his hand outstretched, palm-out and nonthreatening. 

“Easy, it’s just me,” he soothed. “The General said- said you should have gotten to the m-medbay by now.”

“Limit, I’m sorry,” you apologized, instantly feeling like a monster. “I was just thinking too hard, I suppose. Lost in my own thoughts. I… honestly kinda forgot I was on my way to the medbay.”

Limit was the most patient person you had ever met, including the Jedi masters you had grown up idolizing. He cared about the men, and when he felt they weren’t taking care of themselves, he was willing to tell them that directly. More than one trooper had been guilted into the medbay after a quiet, sincere chat with Limit. He was the perfect medic, and one of your favorite people. 

“That’s o- that’s okay,” he assured you. “I’m on my way there now. Will you come wi-with me?”

“Of course.”

You trailed behind the medic, feeling shame. It was a fortunately unfamiliar emotion - you rarely allowed yourself to feel it. Limit was taller than most troopers by a noticeable amount, and you had never been able to figure out if he really was broader or if it was a trick of his height. Either way, you had to choose between walking beside him or staying behind him and being totally cut off from a view of the hallway ahead. 

You opted to walk beside him. 

“Did Master Secura seem upset that I hadn’t been to see you yet?” you asked, feeling like a small child frightened of being chided by a parent.

“No, not upset,” Limit said, shaking his head thoughtfully. “She seemed- seemed more concerned. Said you had got-ten some news.”

You nodded silently. It was still too fresh to delve into, too strange to consider in concrete terms. 

Limit was watching you. You didn’t realize it until he asked, “Good news or bad?”

“Good news, I suppose,” you said, recognizing dimly that your tone wasn’t making it sound that way. You smiled up at him, trying to take on a lighthearted attitude instead. “It was good, just unexpected.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Something you c-can share?”

You paused, struggling between the desire to avoid talking about it and the need to tell your friend about something so major. Because that’s what Limit was, you realized with a bit of surprise. He was your friend. You opened your mouth.

“No,” Limit interrupted quickly, pretending to be fascinated at the view of hyperspace that flashed from the viewports. “I don’t want- don’t want to hear about it. Not until you’re ready to sh-share. For now, I want to hear a-about your mission.”

The relief you felt at that redirection was only slightly tinged with regret. Immediately, you were more absorbed in explaining the mission to Limit, a process that lasted until you reached the medbay and he began to patch up the minor injuries you had sustained.

It had been a simple mission, but remarkably effective. Master Secura had allowed herself to be captured on her way to rendezvous with the rest of the 327th and, as a Jedi General, had been taken to a command ship. After some investigation, she had found that General Grievous was not on the ship, having left to launch an attack on a different ship. 

That was when she called you. 

The objective had been plain in theory, but far more complex in execution. You had to sneak aboard the ship, free your master, gain as much information as possible about the whereabouts of other Separatists ships and bases, then set the ship to detonate before you left.

“Stupid of them not to expect you to help- to help the General,” Limit commented, bandaging a burn on your forearm. “Everyone knows you have her b-back.”

You shrugged, cutting the motion short when Limit shot you a look of warning. “I don’t mind being underestimated. It makes things easier.”

“Makes sense,” Limit agreed mildly. 

When he finished with the burn, he turned his attention to your final injury - a small cut above your eyebrow. The helmet you wore as part of your armor protected you from the worst your enemies threw at you, but nothing could save you from what happened when the helmet itself hit your skull. 

As he gently applied a bacta ointment, Limit remarked, “Sounds like i-it went well.”

You warmed at his unspoken concern. Limit had been sneaking glances at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. He wasn’t going to push for information, but he wanted to be sure you were okay. 

“It did.” You frowned, thinking over the elation you had felt when you and Master Secura had completed the mission and were successfully on your way back from the Separatist ship. Abruptly, you decided it was time to share with Limit. “So well, in fact, that the Council is considering it my Trials.”

Limit’s eyes flew to your face. “Your Jedi Trials?” 

A moment later, a pained look came over his face. “Of cour-course your Jedi Trials. I don’t know wh… don’t know what other Trials you would be talking ab-about…”

Limit’s increased stammer told you he was flustered, but it was such a perfect moment - so human - that you couldn’t help but burst into laughter. You could feel his embarrassment through the Force, but it ebbed when you patted him gratefully on the arm. He even joined you in laughing. 

When you were finished, the tension and stress in you thoroughly broken, you nodded. “Yes, my Jedi Trials. I am now considered a full Jedi Knight. Or, I will be when Master Secura and I perform the ceremony.” 

“Is that all?” Limit asked. He gave you an apologetic look when you frowned at him. “Earlier, you looked so up-upset, I thought I missed a… missed a name on the KIA list.”

You shuddered at the thought. Since this mission had been just you and Master Secura, there had been no trooper casualties. No casualties at all, actually. “No, I just… Well, I’m a Knight now. That means I can’t stay with Master Secura or the 327th anymore. I have to leave, and I’ll be assigned my own group to lead.”

“And, you’re worr-worried about that?” Limit asked. “Why? You won over every trooper on this ship.”

“As a padawan,” you specified, making a face at Limit. You could tell what he was about to say. “Even a padawan who was also a Commander. It’ll be different when I’m a General. I’ll have to be distant from them, not friendly like I am with you guys. And what-” You broke off, clearing your throat to disguise the way your voice had broken mildly. When you continued, it was in a whisper. “What kind of Jedi is worried about being lonely?”

“The same kind- kind of Jedi who speak to the troopers as equals,” Limit told you, voice firm. “The kind who never leave anyone to suffer alone. The kind who have earned every ounce of respect from the men and will only earn more as time goes on.”

That made you smile despite yourself. Limit returned the expression immediately. 

“Don’t worry a-about the troopers,” he continued. “We all talk to- talk to each other, and every member of the 327th would gladly sp-speak up on your behalf. Before long, you’ll have a whole group who sees you as- as someone they can trust, not just a general.”

“I appreciate that, Limit,” you said, trying to let your voice and expression broadcast how much his comfort meant to you. “You really are an excellent friend. I think I’m going to miss you more than anyone else.”

“Thanks, Commander,” he answered, grinning. “If there’s any room in your new division and you think you mi-might need a medic… Well, I wouldn’t mind a- mind a change of scenery. I’ve been with the 327th for a long time. It can’t hurt to have a fr-friend along with you, can it?”

“That would be the best!” you told him exuberantly. It came out too loud, but you couldn’t help it - this was the most hopeful you had felt since you had heard the Council’s decision. “But I don’t want you giving up your place here if you would rather stay.”

“I wouldn’t have offered if- if I wasn’t willing to go,” Limit told you, turning away to start cleaning up the area where he had treated you. “Just pr-promise you’ll tell me when you know what division you’ll be in charge of.”

It was the easiest promise you ever made.

---

Author's Note - I know the timing of this is off. Most estimates place Aayla Secura a few years ahead of Anakin Skywalker in the Temple. She wouldn't have had time to fully train a padawan (a process that takes roughly ten years) before the end of the Clone Wars. But we're just going to pretend, because I love Limit so much and I like this one-shot.

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You managed to hold yourself together for the first few layers of the cast. The plaster smelled unpleasant as it was ground down in a precise line by the vibrating blade, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all for you. 

But then it started to get closer to your skin.

Not that you could feel that, of course. Limit had warned that the friction could cause the plaster to heat up and that he would be happy to pause when that happened to minimize your discomfort. No, you were just watching the blade and the cast far too closely and your shoulders tightened as it sank ever-deeper into the protective layer.

You tried to breathe through it, but the air felt strange in your lungs, like it held too many particles of the plaster cast. You tried to talk yourself through it, but the noise of the saw was too loud. You couldn’t hear anything over its whirring.

Suddenly, it was too much, and all you could do was bark out a warning.

“Limit!”

“Hey!”

You barely recognized the second exclamation - you were too busy pulling away from the blade with a violent speed born of fear. You ended up with your injured leg curled on the bed in front of you, your arms wrapped around it in a protective stance.

Limit was watching you with concern, but you were more preoccupied with the hulking shape beside you: Alpha was hovering far too close, looking ready to move Limit away if necessary. The second exclamation must have come from Alpha, you registered dimly. 

“Are you okay?” Limit asked carefully. “What hap- happened?”

“I don’t-” you paused to take a deep, hiccuping breath. “I don’t really know. It didn’t hurt or feel hot or anything. I just… panicked. I’m sorry.”

“It’s a good- a good thing you both said something or you c-could have been hurt, pulling away like that.” Limit glanced down at the saw, flexing his fingers slightly. “Or I could have b-been.”

“I’m so sorry, Limit,” you apologized, hating this newly discovered weakness. You had never had a problem with medical procedures in the past, even ones that were far more invasive than having a cast removed. Maybe that was the problem, you reflected. This was the first time you had broken a bone, so the newness of the experience was getting to you. “It won’t happen again.”

“It can’t,” Limit agreed seriously. “I’m really sor- sorry, but I can’t risk that happening again. I’ll need to r-restrain you before we keep going.”

“Do you have to?” you asked reluctantly. You understood Limit’s caution, but ever since you had been taken by the droids in the attack, you had recurring nightmares about being trapped. There were good odds that being restrained would only make things worse.

“I can hold your foot st- still, but I need my other hand to use the saw.” Limit looked guilty and sympathetic at the same time. “Or I could administer a mild sedative, but we would need to- need to wait for it to take effect.”

“Or I could just hold her,” Alpha offered.

You looked up at him so quickly that your neck twinged. Limit glanced between the two of you, seeming nervous again. “I don’t- don’t think that’s such a good-”

“Let’s do it,” you interrupted. The pronouncement shocked both men, but you didn’t back down. Alpha may actively dislike you now and you were rapidly heading that way with him, but if it meant you wouldn’t be restrained or sedated, you were willing to give it a shot.

Limit eyed you long enough that you gave him a firm nod in response, then he clenched his jaw and gave a slight nod. “Fine. Captain, we need to make sure sh- she can’t move her tor- torso or arms. However we c- can manage that in a way that’s comfortable for everyone is fine.”

Alpha slowly sat behind you on the bed, bringing his leg up and around you so that your hip was braced against his powerful thigh, his calf locking over your uninjured left leg. His right leg stayed dangling off the other side of the bed, out of the way so Limit could continue to work on removing your cast. Slowly enough that you could stop him if you wanted, Alpha’s arms lifted to wrap around you. You didn’t fight him, and he closed his arms around you, trapping your arms against your sides and locking your back against his chest.

You were self-aware enough to recognize that you should have felt just as trapped in that position as you would have if you had actually been restrained, but you didn’t. Instead, you just felt overwhelmingly safe. Since this may very well be the last time you were ever this close to Alpha, you decided to let yourself relax and soak in the experience.

As you eased slightly against Alpha’s bulk, Limit glanced up at you. “Ready?”

Since you didn’t entirely trust your voice, you just gave a short nod and he started the saw up once more. You managed to stay relaxed for an even shorter length of time, tensing up as soon as the blade worked its way down the length of your cast.

Just as you started to squirm, Alpha’s arms tightened around you, holding you against him more firmly. You fought him for a moment, but he started humming tunelessly behind you, and the vibrations worked against those rattling your leg. You didn’t have a chance of hearing him past the noise of the saw, but you relaxed anyway.

Limit kept working, one hand locked around your ankle to keep you from trying to pull away. As the saw drifted further and further down, the blade moving closer to his own hand, you tensed again. Limit’s grip tightened, clearly anticipating a movement from you, but Alpha provided a distraction.

He was already close - stars, you were closer to him just then than you could ever remember being to anyone - but he leaned even closer to speak in your ear, ensuring that you could hear the deep rumble of his voice clearly. 

“You’re doing well, neverd’ika,” he said warmly, and a thrill shot through you at the use of the achingly familiar pet name. “Limit is almost done, just sit still a little longer for us. Do you want to come run with me and my ARCs when your leg is free? You’ll be able to do that. I’m sure they’d love it. And the kids, too. Crosshair runs faster than any of my men, but I’m sure he’d take it easy on you. He’d still win, but not by much.”

You didn’t reply, lost in the joy of that hypothetical future, half-convinced that this was a nightmare-turned-dream brought on by stress over having your cast removed. You would wake up in a moment to your alarm, ready to go get some work done before you went to visit Limit in the medbay.

“You still here?” Alpha asked, rocking you back and forth so slightly that it didn’t disturb Limit’s work. “Talk to me.”

“Still here,” you managed. “I’m not going running with you.”

Alpha’s silence felt thick and… a little hurt? You suddenly realized how that may have sounded and smirked as you added, “I don’t need an entire group of people mocking how quickly I get winded.”

“We would never-” He broke off at your skeptical noise, and his laugh rumbled through his chest and your back at the same time. “Okay, we would, but you know no one would mean anything by it.”

You were so busy enjoying the lighthearted conversation - in full denial that things would return to the way they had been after the cast was removed - that you hardly noticed when Limit turned off the saw. 

“I’m g-going to start working on spreading the cast now,” he warned. “Are you going to be able to keep still or should Alpha stay there?”

“I’m not sure,” you answered honestly. “I’ve never had a cast removed before and I’m not sure what parts are going to make me panic.”

“I’ll stay here,” Alpha told him, and Limit gave a grateful nod. 

The medic turned his attention to your cast once more, now wielding something that looked alarmingly like a large pair of pliers. You dimly recognized it as the device he would use to crack open the cast like a shell. He set the end into the narrow groove he had carved, centering it roughly halfway up the cast itself. When the end was in place, he did something that made the plaster give a menacing creak.

Your fingers tightened where they rested on Alpha’s forearm, which was just enough warning that Alpha was able to lock his arms around you more firmly before you could start struggling full-force.

“Breathe, neverd’ika,” Alpha urged gently. “You trust Limit. You always have, even when he was just a stammering kid who patched up my nose.”

“You’re-” you broke off, wincing as the plaster made a disconcerting cracking noise. “You’re acting like that was years ago.”

“May as well have been,” he grumbled, though you could hear the smile in his voice. “Everything has changed since then.”

That reminder killed what little sense of joy there was in you, but it was sobering enough that you had no trouble keeping still for Limit. Alpha’s arms stayed wrapped around you, his leg entwined with your uninjured one as he held you in place.

Soon enough, Limit cleared his throat. “I think it should be… should be loose enough now. Try to p- pull your leg out.”

You leaned up and Alpha released you, letting you sit up in the circle of his limbs around you. A glance downward showed that Limit had used the threatening-looking tool to pry the plaster apart slightly and hold it there, locked open slightly. It wasn’t slipping off by any means, but there was a slight sense of give where there hadn’t been before. 

Limit nodded at you, gingerly holding the cast to avoid dislodging the tool. You obeyed his silent instruction and moved your leg. The gauze wrapped around your calf caught slightly on the rough inside of the plaster shell, but it pulled away easily enough. With some work and maneuvering between you and Limit, you managed to free yourself from the cast.

Already your leg felt strange. It was almost too light, as if it would begin to float if you didn’t keep it consciously subjected to gravity. 

“You’re doing gr-great,” Limit congratulated. “All that’s left is to cut through the bandages. Captain, if you would?”

Alpha’s arms lifted again, but you leaned forward slightly to avoid him. “I think I’ll be okay with this part. Thank you, though.”

“You’re sure?” Limit asked as Alpha stayed noticeably silent behind you. 

Given that the alternative was to be held by Alpha for as long as it took to remove the gauze, you were willing to fib slightly. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Is it dangerous?” Alpha asked.

Limit shook his head. “The scissors don’t have a- a pointed tip. The only things that are sh- sharp are the inside of the blades, and those don’t- they don’t open wide enough to catch her skin. She may be pin- pinched if she moves too much, but that’s the w-worst of it.”

“I’ll warn you if I feel like I’m going to try to move away,” you promised, noting that Alpha didn’t move away from his place behind you. It was probably a smart idea if you might need him to keep you still again, though that very closeness was wreaking utter havoc with the unreturned feelings you were still trying to tamp down.

Obligingly, Limit set to work on the gauze. 

Instead of the whirring of a saw or the unfamiliar creaking of straining plaster, the room was filled with the gentle snipping of a small pair of scissors through a soft material. You were soothed by the sound instead of stressed by it, lulled by the quiet atmosphere until you were in a state of utter calm as Limit peeled away the gauze to reveal your newly healed leg.

You were curiously unembarrassed by the strangeness that was revealed. Your right leg was noticeably smaller than your left, the muscle having wasted slightly with disuse. The hair covering your calf was thick and a different texture than you normally saw. There was a similar difference between the skin that had been beneath the cast compared to the skin that had been above it, exposed by the pair of shorts you were wearing to keep your clothing from getting in the way of Limit’s work.

“One last scan to check- to check that the bone has fully healed,” Limit said, patting your ankle and encouraging you to leave it resting against the med as he picked up his scanner. He programmed in the setting for bone scans, then panned it slowly over your leg.

It felt like an eternity passed as he studied the scanner’s screen, looking intently at the results. You were tense, trying to reconcile yourself with the idea that he might have to reapply a cast if the injury wasn’t as fully healed as you needed it to be. But before you could make yourself too nervous, Limit set the scanner aside and smiled at you. 

“Everything looks great,” he assured you. “Exactly how we- how we want it to look at this s-stage. I’m just going to w-wipe down your leg, to start the- to start the process of shedding this built-up skin. Don’t scr-scrub at it. It will come off on its own over the ne-next few hours or days.”

You were already beaming at the understanding that you wouldn’t have to have another cast applied, and agreed readily.

“Great,” Limit congratulated, beaming back at you. “Now, thi-this last part, we need to ta- t- need to take it slow. Okay?”

“Of course,” you affirmed. “What is the last part?”

“We’re going to have you wa- walk around the room,” he told you. “Tell me if there’s a-any pain. We may need to adjust a little, send you- send you out of here with some help.”

“You just need to know if I can get around by myself,” you summarized, waiting for Limit’s nod before you slid toward the edge of the bed. 

Limit was clearly nervous, but not nearly as much as Alpha, who had managed to stand before you could even think about it. He was hovering close to the bed, apparently ready to catch you if you fell… but you had been dealing with this for the past six weeks, and two of those had been without any help at all.

You expertly maneuvered yourself off the bed, catching most of your weight on your left leg and allowing your right leg to straighten slowly and begin taking some of that weight as well. It was odd - no matter how scared you had been that the break wasn’t fully healed, your reflexes took over and positioned your leg in the proper place as if by instinct alone.

There was a definite weakness in your newly un-casted leg. It supported you enough that you didn’t go toppling over into Alpha’s waiting arms, but you could feel that it was unsteady. You managed to straighten it and hobble around the room with reasonable success, but there was a weakness in the knee and ankle that made you worry about how you would do with long distances, such as from your office to your quarters at the end of the night.

You passed that along to Limit, who nodded thoughtfully. “We could do a br- brace if you wanted, but I don’t like to- like to have people use them. It can slow the process of r-regaining muscle. Or we can have you keep the crutches.”

As ungraceful as it was considering how much he was doing to help you, you couldn’t help but grimace at that. You had been looking forward to putting away the crutches, almost as much as the cast itself.

Limit grinned at you, clearly making his own translation of the face you had made. “We can try just one if you- if you like that idea a little b-better.”

You nodded, determined to make that work. “Let me try another lap with one crutch.”

Just as he had the first time, Alpha followed you in your circuit around the room - a step back and one away to give you space, but clearly close enough to save you if you started to fall. It was a kind gesture, but how much of it was born of guilt rather than affection? So you did your best to ignore the hulking ARC captain as you staggered around the room.

Maybe it was only wishful thinking, but it seemed like the single crutch made a world of difference. There was still weakness in the leg, but it was completely offset if you leaned a little more of your weight onto the crutch.

When you got back to where you had started, you beamed up at Limit. “I think this is going to be perfect, Limit! Am I good, then?”

“Should- should be,” he agreed. “I’ll transmit some files to your datapad later, just simple exercises that will he-help you build your muscle mass and in- inc- and increase your range of motion. If you have que-questions about how to do any of them or you have any pain, p-please talk to me.”

You thanked him sincerely, gathered up your one crutch and got ready to leave the medbay, but Limit called your name. When you turned, he approached you with a small bottle in his hand. “Don’t- don’t forget these.”

You were confused for half a second before your face gave a slight throb of warning and you remembered the events leading up to when you entered the medbay. “Thanks again, Limit.”

As you tucked the pain meds into your pocket, you smiled at your friend. “Goodbye, Limit.” You hesitated as your gaze landed on Alpha. It was too uncomfortable to leave him in silence, especially when he was watching you like you were going to decide his fate, so you took your cue from Limit’s interactions with him over this visit and gave him a shallow nod. “Captain.”

You wished you had the foresight not to look at Alpha as you addressed him. His reaction played behind your eyes as you turned to leave the medbay. In the millisecond after you had called him ‘Captain’, a flash of hurt had crossed his face, but it was like the lightning that split Kamino’s skies: gone almost before you recognized that it had been there. Before you could even process what had happened, Alpha’s expression had smoothed, taking on a look of professional blankness.

Your heart didn’t hurt at that interaction. Not a bit.

You fixated on that lie until you turned the corner away from the medbay.

Doni Pender had been gone when you passed the place where your confrontation had happened, but you still turned ready to swing with your crutch when you heard a noise behind you. 

Alpha blocked your swing with an easy lift of one of his forearms. The light metal alloy pinged harmlessly off his muscle, but he nodded approvingly anyway. “Good instincts.”

You hissed out a sigh that was half relief and half annoyance. “What do you want, Alpha?”

“Nothing,” he replied. “I’ll escort you back to your office.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” you repeated, voice firm. “I appreciate it, but I can take care of myself.”

“That doesn’t mean you should have to,” Alpha argued, gaze drifting to the painful swelling on your cheekbone as his jaw tightened. “You need someone to watch your back.”

“Not you,” you said, the punch of gratitude and barely restrained feelings forcing the words from you. “Not… you.”

Alpha looked like you had managed to hit him with the crutch anyway. With hurt on his face again, he asked, “Why not me?”

“Why are you acting like I’m the one who wronged you?” you snapped, thumping the rubber end of the crutch against the floor to make a satisfying thud. “I told you how I felt - answering a question you asked, by the way - and, in return, you ignored me for two weeks!”

“Eleven days,” he corrected, and you stared at him. 

“Oh, never mind,” you said sarcastically. “That’s fine, then.”

You could hear the frantic and accusatory edge in your own voice, but there wasn’t anything you could do to shut it off. The only thing that stopped you from unleashing a rant of hurt feelings and wild blame was that a pair of the cadets came down the hallway. They seemed ready to say something to you - flirty or suspicious, you weren’t sure - but after glancing from you to Alpha, they thought better of it and moved on without speaking.

Alpha’s dark brows came crashing down over his eyes in a fierce glare at your statement, having missed the cadets entirely, but you interrupted him before he could say anything.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked, battling for a sense of calm and peace. “We can have this conversation, but we can’t un-have this conversation. We have a choice.”

“We need to talk,” Alpha said firmly.

You nodded. “Then we need to move somewhere more private. There are too many ears here.”

Alpha frowned, but his eyes tracked a larger group of cadets passing in the other direction. He gave a tight nod. “Let’s go to your office.”

“No,” you refused instantly. “That’s on the other side of the city. If we spend that much time together, we’re going to start fighting in the middle of everyone.”

“Your quarters, then?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No, shift change. This time of day, the halls will be full of officers.”

Alpha made a frustrated noise. You could sympathize, but you had been telling the truth - your office was almost a fifteen-minute walk from here and your hallway would be crowded. Internally, you were able to admit a far more private reason: you were having enough trouble focusing on working and sleeping without having the memories of your final conversation with Alpha soaking into the walls. You didn’t need that weight in your everyday life, not on top of everything else.

“Fine,” Alpha agreed. “We’ll go to my quarters.”

“Your-?” He had already started walking away before you could finish asking your question and you hurried along behind him. 

To his credit, Alpha didn’t slow down for you or ask if you wanted him to help you. It was good - if he had, you would have been snippy, and if he had offered to carry you… you would have exploded. Absolutely burst into tiny fragments of angry administrator. Fortunately, his height and broad shoulders ensured that you were able to follow him with ease even when you started struggling to keep up with him.

When he finally stopped at an unadorned door in the officers’ hallway, two thoughts were uppermost in your mind: first, this was much closer to the medbay than your quarters or office would have been. Second, you had never been here before and found yourself intensely curious about the space that was his.

Alpha typed in his door code without even looking at the number pad, leading the way into his quarters. You stepped in behind him, trying to hide the hesitation you felt in such an unfamiliar place. At the same time, you were trying to take in as much about your surroundings as you could without looking like you were doing so.

The room was ruthlessly clean. At first glance, you weren’t even sure anyone lived there. The bed was made to the exact standard specified by the regulations, no dirty laundry cluttered the floor, and you didn’t think a speck of dust had ever landed in the entire room. It was oddly intimidating. 

But then you looked past the pristine surface to see the details. Alpha’s pillowcase was something non-standard, something that looked softer than the typical low-quality synthweave that made up most sheets on Kamino. There was a rock on his desk - rough and jagged-looking, clearly picked up on some mission. Something that looked like a lily pad bigger than your hand with fingers outspread was preserved behind a piece of glass and hanging by his bed.

Before you could study the space in any more depth, Alpha cleared his throat. You turned to find that he had brought the chair from behind his desk, positioning it at the foot of his bed, facing the large metal trunk that rested there.

You made your way there, crutch tapping with every steady step across the floor, and sat down on the chest. Alpha looked like he was going to argue, but he bit it back, heaving a large sigh instead. He sat in the chair, looking displeased that you had pointedly chosen to take the less comfortable seat.

“What is your problem with me?” Alpha asked bluntly.

You gaped. “I think I made that fairly clear earlier! I was never going to force you into anything you didn’t want equally as much. It hurt that you acted like I was someone you needed to run from.”

“I’m not running from you,” he insisted, sounding confused that you had even thought it. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“Protect me? By ignoring me for weeks at a time?” You shook your head. “Look, if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, you can just say so. You don’t need to come up with an elaborate excuse about why you came to that decision.”

“It was eleven days, and that’s not what I want,” Alpha told you, voice frustrated.

You grimaced. This conversation was like pulling teeth. “Then what do you want? To keep following me around and beating up guys who can’t take no for an answer?”

“Yes.”

Well, that wasn’t the answer you expected, but maybe you should have. After all, the original deal was that he would keep cadets from flirting too intensely with you. Maybe all he wanted was a return to that deal. 

“So…” you trailed, trying to come up with a way to phrase your question so it sounded closest to your true intention. “So you want to go back to our original deal? You want to eat together and keep cadets - and, apparently, bounty hunters - away from me, but just avoid all of that other stuff? No questions, no walking together, no comm conversations… no friendship. That’s-” your voice broke and you paused to clear your throat before finishing, “That’s what you want?”

“No,” Alpha denied, frowning heavily. 

“I don’t understand, then,” you snapped, finally losing patience entirely. “I just asked you what you wanted-”

“No, I mean-” Alpha cut himself off to growl loudly at the room as a whole. “I watched you shut down cadets every one of the last eleven days. You don’t need me for that stuff anymore. I like being around you, but you don’t… you don’t need me.”

You felt your mouth twitch as you fought back a sympathetic face. Alpha would take any sincerity as a form of deception right now, or worse, pity. “Alpha, has it ever occurred to you that I want you around because I like spending time with you, too? Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t need you around anymore, but I want you to be around. And isn’t that a little better? You’re not some necessary evil I tolerate because I need the protection you’re offering. Instead, I can take care of myself, but I choose to be around you because I enjoy your company and that’s enough. And I’ve never lost respect for you.”

“There’s no way that’s true,” Alpha refuted immediately.

“It is,” you insisted. “It takes a lot of strength to stand up for yourself. Just because you don’t have feelings for me-”

Alpha cut you off with an irritated noise. “Of course I have feelings for you.” 

“Yes, but I wasn’t really talking about friendship-”

“Neither was I.”

You stared openly at Alpha. Part of you wanted to be angry at the upheaval you had gone through since your conversation two weeks ago - or eleven days, whatever - but you were too shocked to form thoughts that were that high-level.

In the end, you had to settle for a simple, “I beg your pardon?”

Alpha rolled his eyes at you. “Of course I have feelings for you. Feelings past friendship, past it by a long shot. But your feelings aren’t real. What you’re going through is a mixture of gratitude and survivor’s remorse.”

You tilted your head at him. You weren’t trained in combat and had almost been knocked out by a single punch earlier in the day, but you could feel an edge of danger in the movement that warned you were capable of extreme violence. “Are you telling me how I feel?”

“I’ve seen it too many times-” Alpha started, but it was your turn to interrupt him. 

“Alpha, I don’t have feelings for you because I feel guilty about the Separatist attack,” you explained slowly. “And I am grateful to you for getting me away from the droids, but neither of those things is the reason why I feel the way I do. I think you’re smart and tough and brave. But you’re also sweet and thoughtful and you care. And, if it makes you think any differently, I felt this way even before the attack.”

“You…” For the first time, Alpha seemed to have been knocked off-balance. “You-? Before the attack?”

“Before the attack,” you confirmed, adding dryly, “And, if you care to notice, I never jumped you then, so I don’t think you’re at a much greater risk of me doing it now-”

Your breath hitched as Alpha stood, took a single step to cross the space between your seat and his, and sat beside you on the trunk before you could really register his towering height. You stared at Alpha, sitting so close that you could feel the heat of his body radiating in your direction. 

His hand lifted, moving with aching slowness toward your face. You didn’t move, didn’t even breathe as his callused fingertips brushed over your cheek. They cupped your jaw a moment later, utterly gentle as he leaned closer.

You weren’t sure exactly when you had closed your eyes, but you gave a little jump when his lips made contact. Because of your sudden, violent movement, his kiss went off target, landing on the corner of your mouth and Alpha made a frustrated sound. You couldn’t help but chuckle, still smiling as you realigned yourself with him.

Alpha’s lips were warm and dry, softer than anything you could imagine. You felt like you were drunk from being so incredibly close to him, but only in the best way. More like you were soaring than stumbling. It was a feeling you didn’t think you would ever get enough of.

Despite the depth of your reaction, it was a quick kiss. It had been soft and sweet, but you still felt like your heart was racing when you both pulled back to stare at each other. 

“Was that… okay?” Alpha asked carefully.

You nodded - just once at first, then more naturally as you worked to process everything. “Yes, but… what does this mean? Because I don’t know if I can go back to-”

“I don’t want to go back,” Alpha interrupted. “I don’t understand… I don’t know why you’re interested in someone like me, but I’m not gonna ask any more questions.”

“Really?” The wariness in your voice was a little rude, but the exasperated look Alpha sent your way made you chuckle. “I’m sorry! You’ve fought so hard against this. I just want to make sure you aren’t just agreeing because I’ve finally worn you down.”

Alpha smirked at that, but you found yourself suddenly serious. “I won’t be yet another person who ignores what you want because I want what I want instead. If you have any doubts, tell me now before I get too invested.”

“I’m already invested,” Alpha countered. When you stayed quiet, standing firm in your insistence that he give you a real answer, he sighed. “I’m a clone trooper. An ARC trooper, actually. And I’m a captain. My life is restraint and self-control. They’ve kept me safe, kept me alive. But I can’t say no to something like this. I’ve wanted it for too long. Until you tell me that you don’t want me around anymore, I’ll be here. For all of it.”

“All of it?” you asked, half skeptical and half amused. Both faded as Alpha gave a wholehearted nod.

“Everything you want to offer, neverd’ika, I’m here for it.”

The words were simple - vague even - but somehow, they felt like a vow. And for the first time in a very long while, you were filled with a sense of hope about the future.

---

Fin.

---

Author's Note - It finally happened! And it only took a year! Thank you so much for reading and for coming along on this journey with me.

To clarify, this is the final chapter of Gar Cabur. I know a lot of people like slow burns for the tension and are done when the couple in question finally get together. It's a natural stopping point, and I respect that.

HOWEVER, my muse doesn't respect anyone or anything. I'm taking about a month to get some stuff worked out, then I'll be back. The first chapter of Gar Cyare will be posted the week of August 22nd. As of now, I'll just be copying the current taglist over to Gar Cyare, but if you want to opt out, just comment or send me a message and I'll take your name off the list!

You can find other works on my masterlist, or sign up to be included on the taglist here.

Taglist:

As you sat in your office, darkened holopad screens reflecting the gray Kaminoan skies visible through the window behind you, your attention was caught on a small holoprojector sitting on the corner of your desk. It had been given to you by the ARCs-in-training, set to display a series of images in rotation. The images had mostly been captured by Bacara, who proved to have quite a talent for recording people and scenes at the perfect time. 

The current one was a candid image of the group sitting at the table you had claimed in the cafeteria. Despite the normalcy of the setting and people, you remembered that day vividly. 

You had been sitting with Alpha, the ARCs, and Limit, enjoying your meal. Being in the cafeteria hadn’t stopped being uncomfortable since the attack. The cadets weren’t hostile to you anymore, not the way they had been just after the invasion, but they weren’t going out of their way to be friendly. There were no flirtations. Anywhere you went around Tipoca City, wary glares and suspicious whispers followed, but you did your best to ignore them.

The cafeteria was tricky, since you were sharing an enclosed space with the cadets. Your ability to ignore them waned in the close quarters and your heart sank every time one of them made a derisive face at you. 

Still, the troopers didn’t make it easy to pay attention to those cadets. They were loud. It was something you had noticed the first time you had ever eaten in the cafeteria. You had been terrified back then, nervous that you would offend someone or be in their way. Between your fears, the underwhelming food, and the sheer level of noise in the room, you had never managed to relax in the cafeteria.

Things were still loud now, maybe even more so. Alpha and Limit were quiet, but the ARCs tended to be bold, especially when they were arguing about something ridiculous. And that was often.

Surprisingly, you didn’t find the noise as jarring when you were in the middle of it instead of on the outskirts. And you had very much been in the middle of it. Alpha was sitting beside you, occasionally contributing to the conversation but mostly just listening in alternating waves of irritation, amusement, and fond exasperation.

Somewhere between dumping his tray and returning to the table, Bacara had managed to capture the holoimage, which showed everyone enjoying a meal together, talking and laughing exuberantly. 

Then everything had gone wrong.

A cadet had been moving past your group, clearly heading for a table, when someone shouted something. You didn’t hear what it was, but the tone wasn’t entirely friendly. You turned to see what was going on - worried that it was directed at you and unsure what you would do if it was. 

Unfortunately, the cadet had been startled and lurched to the side with his heavily laden tray. His full glass of water had toppled, spilling cold liquid onto your shoulder, splashing it across your chest and trailing down your arm.

The cafeteria had gone silent a moment later, but you couldn’t be sure whether that had happened when they saw your drenched sleeve or when Alpha had seized the cadet by the arms. 

“You have ten seconds to explain what just happened,” Alpha ordered tersely. 

The cadet stammered for a moment - he was a young trooper, too young to look like anything other than a child. “I- I was walking to a table and got startled, sir. Sorry, sir. Sorry, ma’am.”

Alpha stared at him as if he could read the cadet’s mind if he looked deep enough, a hard light in his eyes. Your mind was screaming for you to say something, but all you managed to do was watch. Alpha’s grip didn’t tighten, but he didn’t let the cadet go, either. He just held on and stared grimly.

Bacara had approached the table with a smooth, easy stride that didn't quite manage to hide his worry. “Alpha, I saw the whole thing happen. It was an accident.”

That spurred you into speaking as well. “It’s just water, Alpha,” you soothed quietly. “It’ll dry and he didn’t do it on purpose.”

Alpha let the cadet go. Without breaking his gaze on the cadet’s face, he scooped up the empty glass and handed it back. “Best go get more, trooper. Take a different way back to your table.”

The cadet backed away quickly, nodding too many times. “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

The rest of the meal had been quiet and tense, ending shortly afterward. 

Originally, that image hadn’t been included in the rotation on the holoprojector the ARCs had given you. You had to ask Bacara for it. You understood his reasoning for keeping it out, but even the mild reminder of unpleasant moments made the rest of the rotation much more pleasant. It kept you grateful for the better times.

As that image faded, it was replaced with one of you standing with the kids. Tech was next to you with Hunter beside him. Wrecker was on your other side, already towering over you and everyone else. One of his arms was propped on your shoulder - because Alpha had scowled at him for propping it on your head - and the other was wrapped around Crosshair. All of you were smiling, even Crosshair. For that alone, you had demanded a copy of the image.

It had been a surprise for you to find that you and Alpha had apparently adopted four genetically altered troopers. Granted, you had already planned something along those lines after they had helped Alpha and the ARCs so much during the Separatist attack, but it was a bit of a surprise to learn that the adoption had essentially happened without you knowing. 

In any case, the troopers had been a bright spot during the recovery, just as fiercely protective of you as Alpha and the ARCs were. You thought their efforts were more cute than intimidating, but you could see them growing, learning, and becoming more competent even as you watched with fascination and a bit of sadness.

The day Bacara had captured that holoimage, you had gone to the ARC training area to support the men in one of their late-afternoon trainings. You had finished with your work earlier than expected and thought you would drop in. Alpha never said anything directly about it, but you hadn’t missed the way he preened and showed off just a bit when you were watching a training session. And it wasn’t exactly a punishment for you, either.

When you had settled at your usual spot inside the training area - safely tucked off to one side so you wouldn’t accidentally get in the way - you were taken aback by the training. Instead of the planned training about infiltration tactics, Alpha and the ARCs were standing in a loose circle around the cadets. Alpha would announce a move or series of moves and the cadets would perform them. The ARCs called advice, encouragement, or stepped in to provide an opponent if necessary. 

You couldn’t hide that you were worried at first. A lot of the moves the cadets were doing were intense, seeming far too advanced for them… but they completed every one perfectly. In that moment, you were struck by the difference you were already seeing in the four young men. 

You had only known them for a handful of weeks, maybe a few months at most, and they already looked so grown-up. Their faces and bodies were leaner, they had gotten taller, and they were already starting to put on the muscle mass common to the troopers. Wrecker was taller and more muscular than his brothers while Tech and Crosshair were far more slender than typical, but the changes were clear. 

While you were coming to terms with the ache in your heart, already mourning the lost childhoods of these cadets you had barely gotten to know, Alpha called an end to the exercise. 

As the cadets took a moment to catch their breath, Alpha nodded approvingly at them. “That was much better. You’re improving quickly.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Tech said, eyes shining behind his goggles. 

“We’re just tryin’ to keep up with all of you guys!” Wrecker tossed out, dodging and returning the punches Drift playfully threw in his direction. 

“Yeah, but we’re ARCs,” Neyo countered. “If you’re keeping up with us, you’re better than most of the cadets on Kamino.”

“Not bad for a bad batch,” Crosshair said, a wry smile on his face.

You had frowned, sitting up and opening your mouth to say something when the ARCs burst out laughing. Before you could say anything at all, the ARCs had congratulated Crosshair on that piece of humor and the name had been repeated more times than you could count.

“You okay, neverd’ika?” Alpha had asked, coming to sit beside you. 

You gestured at the cadets. “The bad batch? Don’t you think that’s… I don’t know… insulting? I don’t remember a lot of the Separatist attack, but I remember enough to know that they were a huge help. Why would they call themselves that?”

“I don’t know; they didn’t talk it over with me,” Alpha replied with a shrug. “Ask ‘em.”

“I will,” you decided, firming your jaw. 

Alpha’s fingers on your wrist stilled you before you could move too far, and the warning look on his face stopped you from saying something immediately. “But remember, it might be more insulting to tell them that they don’t have the right to choose what they call themselves.”

You paused, deflating slightly. Alpha had made a fair point, and you had no idea how to convince the cadets not to call themselves that without taking away their agency. In the end, you settled for calling, “Why ‘bad batch’?”

The cadets paused at the sound of your question as the room’s occupants turned toward you. They exchanged glances, but when Hunter spoke, his answer was confident and firm. “That’s all the Kaminoans see when they look at us. It’s what they call us. If we call ourselves that, they’ll know we don’t see it as an insult. It’s just who we are. We’re a Bad Batch.”

You wanted to argue, to convince them that they were more than that, but when Hunter said their self-chosen title with relish, enough emphasis to capitalize it in your mind, you couldn’t say anything about their choice. If they wanted to be the Bad Batch, that was who they would be.

Somehow, though, these four headstrong young troopers were watching you with nervous anticipation, like they needed your approval. Your heart melted just a bit more for the cadets you and Alpha had unofficially adopted. You nodded gravely. “If you’re going to have a group name, you’ll need a group symbol. That way, there’s no mistake about who you are and what you’re going to do. Every place you go and every bit of good you do, the Kaminoans will be reminded that they tried to shrug off some of the best troopers this place has ever produced.” 

Warmth at your back warned you that Alpha had stepped up behind you. With a heavy hand on your shoulder, he rumbled, “I’ll never forget that you stepped up to help me and these men during the attack. You put yourselves at risk for no gain. If you want to call yourselves the Bad Batch, you should. I’m proud to say that I was there for the Bad Batch’s first mission.”

There was a beat of silence before the newly-christened Bad Batch saluted the captain. 

No - that wasn’t quite right. The angle of their bodies was wrong. 

You had to choke back a wave of emotion when you realized that their salutes were aimed at both Alpha and you.

The image switched, breaking you from your reverie. Only then were you aware of the fond smile stretched across your face. It didn't leave as the next images in the sequence appeared.

It was an image of this very office, one major difference being that the holoprojector currently displaying these images was missing. If you remembered correctly, this image had been captured shortly before Bacara had given you the gift.

You were laughing in the image. You were half-sitting behind your desk, but you were clearly being pulled up and out of your chair by Monnk and Drift. They were laughing, too, and you distinctly remembered Bacara doing the same behind the holocamera. 

You had called to warn Alpha that you would be working late that night. Since you had accepted the new contract with the Republic, your workload had lightened considerably. You still had to reach certain goals with your report, regularly submitting sections to Jaiss for review, but those goals were far more attainable than they had ever been. You couldn't remember the last time you had to work through a meal. 

Even staying late wouldn't have put you at risk of missing dinner with Alpha, but you definitely intended to work past the end of the work day. Alpha hadn't been thrilled by that when you called him, but he didn't try to argue with you… which was suspicious, since he argued about everything. 

At roughly three minutes after you typically left your office, you heard running footsteps in the hall followed by frantic pounding on your door. When it had opened, Drift and Monnk had invited themselves in, followed by Bacara. 

"C'mon, work day is over," Monnk announced, starting for your desk.

“What?” you had asked reflexively, having heard the question but been too confused to process it immediately. “No, I just have to finish this part of the project. I’m almost done. It won’t take more than an hour.”

“Then that will be an easy start to your day tomorrow,” Drift told you. “Let’s go.”

“I can’t just leave,” you protested.

“You can,” Bacara told you. “And you need to.”

“We all saw how hard you worked before the contract was changed,” Monnk agreed. “None of us are gonna let you start working like that again.”

You were touched by their concern, honestly… but you really did need to finish this section or you would forget the point you had been trying to make. You didn’t trust that you would remember the particular phrasing that you had come up with by the time you started your next work day.

“I’ll just finish this section and then I’ll be done for the day,” you bargained.

“Nope, not good enough,” Monnk decreed. “Come on.”

He had reached out - carefully giving you ample time to pull away if that’s what you chose to do - and gently took one of your wrists in his hands. You used your free hand to save your progress on the report but shook your head at the same time.

“Monnk, it’ll be five more minutes,” you protested, the loud laughter spilling from you detracting slightly from the overall impression. “Maybe ten.”

“Excuse me, ma’am,” Drift said sternly, holding up a hand in your direction. “Are you refusing to comply with orders? Attempting to incite a riot? Resisting arrest?”

Despite yourself, you only laughed harder. “Am- am I being arrested?”

“If you don’t leave here, sure,” Bacara told you, lifting the holocamera in your direction as Drift grabbed your other wrist. 

“Alpha will bail me out,” you insisted.

“Nah, Captain’s on our side,” Monnk said, utterly unconcerned.

That sounded about right, which only made you laugh harder.

“Shift it, civvie,” Drift ordered, though his grip on your arm was more insistent and irritating than forceful. He and Monnk ended up waving your hands around as they pulled you back and forth in an extremely silly manner.

“Don’t tell me she’s overpowering you two,” Bacara teased from behind the holocamera. “What kind of ARCs are you?”

“She’s a tough one,” Drift grunted, pretending to struggle. “The captain must have taught her all his best tricks.”

“Don’t worry, Bacara, we’ll get her,” Monnk promised, pulling your wrist in a way that let him strain against his own hold while you were hardly jostled. “She may be tough, but we’re tougher!”

Bacara gave a skeptical grunt. “Dunno, I might put credits on her instead.”

Monnk and Drift had looked offended for half a second before they had started laughing as hard as you were. Bacara had snapped the picture and here it was.

The image slowly faded into another one. As lovely as the other memories were, they couldn’t begin to compete with this one. It was a relatively simple one - just you and Alpha walking down one of the many bland hallways of Tipoca City. The edges of things in the background were blurred slightly from Bacara’s speed as he had taken it. For that reason, he had been reluctant to give you a copy of it, but you had managed to plead one from him.

The background may have been blurry, but you and Alpha were in perfect focus. You weren’t walking hand-in-hand or anything equally overt, but you were in the middle of a conversation. Neither of you had noticed Bacara or his holocamera yet, so neither of you had your guard up.

You were staring up at Alpha with admiration written clearly across your expression. Even in the middle of whatever you had been saying to him, you were watching him more closely than your surroundings. There was a smile curving your lips and your face was bright with happiness.

You would have been embarrassed by how openly stunned you were by Alpha… if he hadn’t looked equally adoring. His expression was a little more subtle by nature, but his eyes were warm and satisfied. 

As the two of you had agreed months before, you weren’t open about your relationship. You weren’t touching, but something in your body language spoke of closeness and a familiarity formed over long exposure to each other. It was impossible for you to know for sure, but you liked to think that a stranger seeing the two of you for the first time would know that you were friends or more, just based on the way you walked in harmony even with the slight distance between you. 

“Hey, you ready for-? What? Why are you smiling like that?” 

You glanced up quickly, meeting Alpha’s eyes from where he was standing at the doorway of your office. Despite the judgment of his words, his tone was soft - more curious than anything. Your heart performed a series of gymnastics as you noted that he was wearing the same warm expression he had in the treasured holoimage.

“Just watching the projector,” you explained, glancing at the chrono past Alpha’s shoulder. It was time to go to dinner. “I didn’t realize it was so late. Give me a moment and I’ll be ready to leave.”

Alpha hummed, settling comfortably into a chair as he watched you. “Busy day?”

You laughed. “Something like that.”

As soon as you had finished saving your documents and storing the datapads, you shut off the lights and left your office with Alpha walking beside you.

In your more introspective moments before you had confessed your feelings, you had done your best to envision what it would be like to date the stern and imposing Captain Alpha-17. The results had often been overly romanticized - especially since you were well aware that no relationship was perfect - but you had typically reminded yourself that Alpha was, above all else, a soldier. You had thoroughly expected him to struggle in this new role, something unlike anything he had known before.

You had been wrong. 

Was Alpha the perfect boyfriend? Absolutely not. But you weren't perfect either and your relationship seemed to be going just fine. What Alpha lacked in relationship experience, he made up for with focus. 

Alpha had approached dating you with the intense scrutiny he used to study battle plans or landing conditions for an upcoming mission. (Or so you assumed from the stories he had told you.) If he didn't understand something, he asked questions until he did. And after he had woken from his alcohol-assisted sleep, he dissected his communication breakdown with the precision of a man defusing a bomb. 

It was intense but flattering. Alpha had made it clear through his every action that this relationship was a priority for him. Maybe not the most important thing in his life, but certainly not far off. He was focused on you, studying your relationship together until he knew he understood every part of it.

The only thing you could do was put your full focus on him in return. There were ups and downs, even with your prior experiences with romance. You weren’t totally lost, but between the need for secrecy, the intensity of Tipoca City so soon after an infiltration, and Alpha’s own propensity for showing his feelings rather than speaking about them… Actually, when you stopped to think about it, your prior romantic experience didn’t help all that much. 

Even then, walking down the hallway in comfortable quiet, was something you hadn’t experienced before. You had always felt the need to fill silences in the past. Why didn’t you now? Was it because you didn’t need to speak or because you didn’t know what to say? And did Alpha feel the same? He didn’t spend much time talking, but was he wondering why you weren’t? The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him yet again…

“Neverd’ika,” Alpha said suddenly, making you tense. Your gaze scanned the hallway ahead of you, automatically searching for some kind of threat, but found nothing. Alpha murmured your name, drawing your attention. “You’re frowning. Everything good?”

“Are you happy with me?” you asked, the words bursting from you before you could think them through. 

Alpha halted immediately, his fingers on your forearm pulling you to a stop as well. His brows were furrowed low over his eyes as they scanned your face. “What’s going on? Am I happy with you? Of course I’m happy with you. Are you happy with me?”

“Of course!” you replied earnestly. 

Alpha huffed, making an exasperated gesture that showed his frustration with you without using a single word. “Then why are you asking questions like that?”

“I just-” you cut yourself off with a sigh. “I just wanted to make sure.”

Narrowing his eyes at you, Alpha took a step closer. His height meant you were left staring up at him, but you couldn’t deny that his nearness had your heart beating faster. His hand, tucked close by his side, found yours. With his hand running gently over the back of your palm, you were caught in a firestorm of anticipation and comfort. 

“Neverd’ika, I promise you this,” Alpha started, voice low and serious. “If I ever think things need to end between us, I’ll tell you. I’m enough of a man to do that. You know that, don’t you?”

You nodded and Alpha nodded with you. “And you’ll do the same with me. Promise me that you’ll tell me if you want to end this.”

You nodded again, but Alpha looked skeptical. “And you won’t be nice to me just to spare my feelings like you do with the cadets?” You shook your head, a grin fighting to form at his over-exaggerated suspicion. “Because I’m the perfect person to practice your meanness on. In fact, that might be a good idea…”

“Alpha, don’t,” you argued, half-laughing. “You know how you couldn’t help me spar because you could never try to hurt me? I feel the same way about you. I couldn’t be cruel to you. Please don’t ask me to.”

“I don’t think you would ever be cruel, cyare,” Alpha admitted. “But I think you could hurt me. Kriff, I know you could. You’re the only one who could.”

Your heart melted a bit at that and you lifted slightly onto your toes. Alpha’s gaze bounced from your eyes to your lips and back - an unbelievably quick flick of his attention, but it was enough to make your lips part with your suddenly quickened breath. 

Just as Alpha started to lean down, a group of cadets passed. Alpha straightened, throwing a dirty look at the cadets. Whether it was because of their interruption or because he was preparing for them to throw an insult in your direction, you couldn’t be sure.

In either case, the cadets took no notice of you or Alpha. They passed in laughing conversation. When the noise of them had faded, you and Alpha reluctantly pulled apart and continued in the direction of the mess hall. 

You and Alpha had been remarkably tame as a couple. 

Sure, you had kissed. You dreamed about that kiss. You had shared a few touches here and there. You had woken up in his bed - and his arms - the morning after his encounter with Zackra Trem and her alcohol. But those scattered incidents were as far as things had ever gone between you.

There was chemistry between you. The urge to get closer physically was there, but the obstacles seemed to appear out of nowhere. If you weren’t busy doing your jobs, there were Kaminoans around. If the Kaminoans weren’t nearby, cadets were. And even when the stars aligned perfectly, there was an odd sense of hesitancy. You had initially wondered if it was coming from you, but you had noticed it from Alpha as well. 

Your only guess was that months of denying yourselves the slightest physical touch had given both of you a natural reluctance toward moving forward in your relationship. At least, that was what you hoped it was. If there were deeper issues between you and Alpha, you needed to find out as soon as you could.

Those thoughts disappeared as you finally reached the mess hall, but the underlying sense of urgency still remained. Still, you tried to push it from your mind as you stood in line to retrieve a tray with Alpha. The ARCs-in-training, the self-proclaimed Bad Batch, and Limit were all waiting at your usual table.

You and Alpha were greeted as cheerfully as ever. Out of long-formed habit, you took seats facing the door, the edges of your trays aligned so that you had an excuse to sit a little closer than one would typically see in the Kaminoan cafeteria. 

As you shared a meal with your boyfriend and the odd group of friends you had collected, you began to relax into things. Your tumultuous thoughts of earlier faded into nothingness as you chatted with everyone. You even got Alpha to smile.

You didn’t know exactly when you had started to lean into Alpha’s side, or when he relaxed the muscles of his thigh so that your legs were pressed together from hip to knee. All you knew was that when Limit hissed for you to watch out, you yanked away from him and the time it took to unlace your fingers felt like a heart-pounding eternity. 

“What is it?” Alpha demanded lowly, pretending to pay incredibly close attention to his meal. 

“Kaminoans,” Limit told you, voice the darkest you had heard from the friendly medic. 

“They’re circling today,” Neyo muttered. “Upper levels. They’ve been staring down at everyone for almost an hour.”

“Why?” you asked, glancing around the table. Having people stare at you while you were trying to eat seemed like an invasion somehow, and bad manners if nothing else. But though everyone else seemed irritated by it, apparently none of them were surprised.

“They do this every so often,” Faie told you. “No one is sure why.”

“Looking for excess,” Alpha said, spearing a piece of food so hard that you were sure his utensils would go through the table itself. 

“Excess,” you repeated blankly. “What excess?”

“Any excess,” Alpha said, glowering up at the raised bank of windows that looked out onto the cafeteria. “You forget, neverd’ika, the Kamiini are running a business. They watch us to search for overages in food provision or consumption, deficiencies with any of the men and the way they eat, or too much conversation between them. They don’t like their products forming bonds. There is no money to be made through brotherhood.”

The bitterness was so thick in Alpha’s voice that you felt you could choke on it. To hear Alpha sounding so angry was far from unusual… but the underlying pain made you settle a comforting hand on his forearm. 

Alpha had a half-moment to glance over at you and smile before Bacara rapped his knuckles against the underside of the table with a sharp crack. “What did we just say? Watch yourselves or the entirety of Tipoca City is going to know about the two of you.”

“I’m confused,” Hunter said, speaking for the first time instead of continuing his quiet observation. “Everybody already knows about the two of you. What does it matter if the Kaminoans see it? They probably already know, too.”

Alpha stared at him, frowning heavily. “Kid-”

“You know what?” Drift interrupted. “The rest of us are pretty much done here. Why don’t we take the Bad Batchlets and teach them about the concept of plausible deniability?”

“Batchlets?” Crosshair repeated, sounding irritated. 

“C’mon, let’s go,” Monnk told them, urging everyone up and out of their seats. When everyone was on their way to the garbage cans or the cafeteria doors, Monnk leaned down to speak. Glancing between you and Alpha, he said, “If I were you, I would take this time to talk about everything, especially what comes next.”

“And that means?” Alpha asked, arching a brow.

Monnk shrugged, sending you a kind smile. “Whatever comes next for you according to how you want your relationship to go. Surely you’ve got some kind of plan? And if you don’t… that might be the first thing you need to talk about.”

And then he straightened, throwing a nod over his shoulder and leaving the cafeteria before either of you could give any kind of response.

You and Alpha finished your meal in silence - you hadn’t spoken about it, hadn’t planned it, but you were clearly on the same wavelength. Unlike the earlier lack of conversation on your way to the cafeteria and most silences you and the captain had shared, this one was distinctly uncomfortable. If you had been able to see past your own sense of nervousness, you would have figured that both of you were trying to plan what you wanted to say. 

Alpha’s fingertips brushed your elbow and you knew what he meant. You stood, following him to dump your tray and leave it in the appropriate place before you left the cafeteria. 

You knew, of course, what Monnk had meant by ‘what comes next’. He wanted you and Alpha to talk about where your relationship was going, what you would do when your contract on Kamino ended, and any excuses you would give if you were caught and your relationship was exposed. There was a lot of conversation to be had.

So why did your mind immediately jump toward the question of moving things forward in your physical relationship with Alpha?

Your nerves were on fire as Alpha steered you wordlessly in the direction of your personal quarters. No matter which way your conversation ended up going, you were going to need privacy for it.

The snarled thoughts in your head cut short so abruptly that they seemed to echo in your mind as a cadet started walking toward you with a purposeful air. Beside you, Alpha straightened, a lethal-looking scowl already forming on his face. You pressed your palm against the warm span of his back and Alpha closed his mouth. His glare didn’t fade.

The cadet stopped a short distance in front of you, his air of professionalism contrasting sharply with his youthful appearance. He nodded at Alpha. “Captain.”

Alpha didn’t nod back, but the cadet had already shifted his attention to you. “How involved are you in the production of clones, ma’am?” 

The question wasn’t outright offensive, so you did your best to answer it honestly and without clear suspicion. “Not at all, trooper. I’m just the one writing the report requested by the Republic Senate about the production process.”

“And do you have anything to do with the testing of the final products?” he asked.

You frowned at him. “Testing? No. That’s all done by the Kaminoans and their staff.”

“Do you want to be part of the testing group?” One corner of his mouth curved upward and he waggled his eyebrows as he added, “I’d be fine with it if you wanted to make sure all of my pieces work. In fact-”

“That’s enough of that,” Alpha cut off, stepping forward between you and the cadet. “Run along before I test how firmly your arms are attached.”

The cadet smirked, but you noticed his speed as he fled the area. You glanced up at Alpha, a smile growing on your face. He shook his head, voice grumpy as he asked, “What?”

“That’s the first time one of the cadets has flirted with me since the attack!” you exclaimed, trying not to tear up about such a minor thing.

“That isn’t true,” Alpha argued. “I watched you- uh, saw you in the mess. There was some di’kutla cadet flirting with you at every meal.”

Any glee you may have felt knowing that Alpha had been watching you during your separation dissipated in the face of your embarrassment. Ducking your head slightly, you mumbled, “Uh, not- not quite. But it’s okay. Let’s keep going.”

The effort it took not to run down the hallway toward your quarters was ridiculous, but you managed. Of course, it took less than the length of one hall for Alpha to catch up with you. “What does that mean, neverd’ika? I saw it. I was proud of you for standing your ground, even when I thought you would never speak to me again. You shut the cadets down without a problem and you did it every day.”

“Those cadets…” You trailed off to take a deep, slow breath. It wasn’t something you necessarily wanted to admit, but you refused to lie to Alpha. “They weren’t flirting with me.”

“You said they were,” Alpha told you. 

“Technically, you said that.” 

Something in Alpha’s eyes told you he was thinking back over your conversation in his quarters after your cast had been removed. “I did,” he agreed eventually. “But you didn’t correct me. What were they really saying to you?”

“A lot of it was questions,” you answered honestly. The fact that there had been a few threats and insults wasn’t worth mentioning, especially since the ARCs-in-training had dealt with those situations immediately and decisively. “As long as they were polite, I answered their questions and invited them to stay. Some of them took me up on it, some didn’t.”

Alpha frowned, but reached out to brush the side of your hand with his fingers. “I can’t believe you misled me.”

“We were arguing,” you reminded him, smiling to take the sting out of your defensive tone. “And I can’t believe you were watching me in the cafeteria.”

“Every day,” Alpha said unashamedly. “How else was I supposed to survive eleven days without you?”

Your heart lurched at that. When you could speak, your voice came out so low and rich that you almost didn’t recognize it. “Alpha, you’re lucky we’re still in public or I would show you exactly how that makes me feel.”

Alpha’s head whipped in your direction. “Your leg is bothering you.”

The sudden change of subject - especially with a statement that was patently untrue - made your head spin… or maybe that was just the shift of Tipoca City as Alpha scooped you into his arms and rushed off toward your quarters at top speed.

---

Author's Note - sorry for posting later than expected! I think I'm going to start planning Thursday posts in the future to make things a little easier. On the bright side, only about a week and a half left until the next chapter!

Thanks for reading, and extra thanks for those who commented on or reblogged the last chapter! My motivation for writing this story is starting to fade a bit and those really keep me going!

(I have no plans to abandon this story, but the reblogs and comments just make writing a little easier.)

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