#oc arren

and the experience is so mortifyingly fulfilling for both of them that afterwards theyre side by side under the covers staring wide eyed up at the ceiling like. should we start our relationship over from scratch??

dick spent a lot of his life absorbing insults like a sponge, especially in situations when he was particularly vulnerable. once, one of his partners (not a great guy, but mostly just a chronic foot-in-mouther) laughed at his O-face and told him he looked goofy instead of sexy, unknowingly confirming something dick had already suspected about himself, after which dick was like ok! i’m never having sex ever again! and then a little while later he was like alright i was being dramatic. it’s doggy style in the dark only from now on.

a few years down the line, on the surface he’s like haha that was so stupid, what an insane thing to say to someone you’re fucking. it’s all in the past now. but secretly he has never let go of that comment which happened to fit so neatly into the larger picture of his self-loathing and fear of showing anyone his feelings, and has long since made hiding his face during sex a habit. none of that is particularly well resolved by the time he and arren finally get together, and the anxiety actually gets worse bc dick likes arren so much.

so the first time they have sex face-to-face and dick is about to cum, he grabs arren hard and buries his face in his shoulder, and only lets him go once his brain and vision have cleared up enough for him to fix his face. arren thinks it’s just an adorable involuntary thing, so dick gets away with it the next few times as well, until arren specifically mentions one day how much he’d like to see dick’s face as he cums. and dick, who loves him and is making a very honest attempt to stop constantly deflecting whenever they get close to sensitive topics (of which there are mortifyingly many), finally admits that he doesn’t want arren to see bc he’s afraid he’ll think it’s goofy and get turned off.

cut to the next time they’re having sex, when arren spends hours just getting dick so out of his own head that by his nth orgasm of the night he can’t possibly remember to cover his face, and stupid lovesick arren sees his red, sweaty, tear-stained face, screwed-shut eyes, and scrunched-up nose and goes “oh fuck” and instantly cums. happy ending

dick: (in shock and disbelief) did…did you just cum?? from looking at me???

arren: (genuinely offended) sometimes i get a half chub just seeing you smile, and i’m supposed to not cum from watching you orgasm?? what do you want from me

arren: the lord of the dungeon……am i crazy or did she look just like……… (everyone turns to look at dick, who is in utter shock)

mars: please forgive my forwardness, i just haven’t been able to keep my eyes off of you all night. could i buy you a drink?

dick: oh gods i’m flattered but i have a husband

mars: you deserve two husbands (internally) i’ll fuck her husband too if that’s what it takes.

+

dick: (teaching local kids about nature, helping one up and wiping dirt from their cheek, playing hand games with a group of them, generally being quite good with kids)

mars, champion of a fertility goddess: (digging his fingers into his thigh) i need her to have my children.

mars separately meets arren and also thinks he’s hot. he absolutely does not make the connection that arren’s husband “dick” is the beautiful woman he keeps seeing around

dick would be mortified to find out, not because he’s judgmental of the fetish itself but bc he personally thinks his own feet look weird and also can’t help but think of feet in general as being kind of unclean

meanwhile dick considers it IMPERATIVE that arren NEVER finds out about the tentacle thing

i almost wonder if dick would wear something dress-adjacent? like i think he’d pretend not to care, but secretly want very much to feel beautiful. but of course mel and suying would NOT let that slide

hair intricately braided and a flower crown at minimum. ohhHH AND MEL would be the one who makes it, bc when they were kids dick made her daisy chain crowns all the time and his happy smile as he placed one on her head was a memory she held super dear after he left

omg maybe the one she makes is even a little sloppy if you look at it closely bc it’s something she never got as good at as him, and she apologizes bc he could have made it better and offers to use magic on it but dick thinks it’s so perfect just the way it is

arren: no, listen baby. listen to me. all i’m saying is that you’re two of the most important people in the world to me, and—

dick: (completely hysterical) I REMIND YOU OF YOUR MOTHER?!?!!?!!?

in arren’s defense, dick and lena just happened to have similarly colored upbringings but are otherwise very different people. and also arren is much much much more into taking care of his partners than any actual Guy Who Wants To Date His Mom

in dick’s defense, even considering the above, anything remotely approaching“you remind me of my mom” is challenging to hear from someone who’s seen you naked, and dick is particularly fucked in the head about moms in general

dick: (trying to convince himself it’s not a big deal) so like……do you want to call me mommy?

arren: (confused and wary but trying to be supportive) do you……want me to call you mommy???