#nycsuccess

Heartache. I am a sucker for some good old fashioned heartache. Why would I enjoy anything that makes me suffer you might ask. The answer is pretty simple. Movement.

Movement is all I need to be happy. 

I seek movement every second of every day in every scenario I find myself in. I look at the ceiling when I wake up, begging it to unravel in front of me. Praying for it to crumble into the smallest pieces. 

I'm sure this sounds horribly stupid so I will attempt to explain myself in a more literal way.

When I first moved to New York I was still collecting the pieces of my shattered heart. More often than not reality would strike me in the middle of a crowded street or a busy alley. It would strike me harder than the cold wind in the middle of a storm and I'd freeze.

It was so paralyzing that I was waiting for a kick or a push that never came, and I had to learn how to take the next step. I walked with such agony, every step wore me down, I had to rest, but the world just kept going like this pain inside of me never happened. 

And no one looked at me, no one knew me, no one cared. I pushed and shoved and carried myself out of the cold and into a safer, warmer place. 

Movement. That glimpse of a second that we carry on, we leap in full faith that there is still a chance. 

Time went by and the hard sun blessed me with her comforting strokes of joy. I was a happier person. I managed to make it through. And I was a better person for that. 

But something in me still strived for that heartache. When I talk about heartache I don't just mean the romantic kind. Heartache attacks us in all aspects of life. 

It doesn't matter what you do or who you are - heartache will make you better. Let me explain:

I, as a writer submit my material pretty often. It is rare that I get a response, being that I have no Agent or published (sold) material. I send out my material with actual hope that the person reading it will find in my words that thing that they've been looking for - which could potentially make both of our lives a lot easier. But, as it turns out, I am mostly graced with warm replies that this material is very good but just not what they were looking for.

Just like a guy or a girl turning you down - rejection is hard. Rejection crushes our spirit, it slaps us in the face and whether we admit it or not, it puts out that fire inside of us, leaving a big, empty, cold space to fill.

That reality haunts us wherever we go and forces us to prevail. The only way for us to ignite the fire in us is if we keep going. 

The world could spin, shake and break - but as long as we keep going, as long as we keep moving forward, that won't affect us.

You see, heartache could be terrible. It could bring us to our knees, BUT, that step we take right when it seems like we'll never walk again. That step is brighter than the sunshine. It thickens our skin and builds our muscle and it allows us to go through life, brighter than before, knowing that no matter what happens - WE WILL MAKE IT.

So I urge you to never stop trying and never stop moving forward. Because there is nothing better than believing in yourself.

And I believe in you too.

XO