#nuttyfic

He wasn't above being spoon fed after some of his previous incidents, remembering a time the tables had been turned on another brother. The blonde grabbed the straw between his teeth and took a long sip of the cool water, "Mmm, much better. Thanks."

“Hungry?” He offered a celery crunch bar in one hand and the bag of chocolate coated almonds in the other.

"And that's why you're my favorite," a bright grin followed the joke that wasn't completely untrue. They were co-pilots for many reasons, one of which helped them tolerate each other on a regular basis. "Crunch bar, please."

Virgil took a sip of his own drink and placed both of them on the table beside him. Grabbing a celery crunch bar, he lay back with a barely audible sigh and peeled back the wrapper before holding it out for Gords to take a bite.

He took the moment to stare out at the scenery and soak some of the environment through his skin.

The bar was fresh and crisp, just what he loved so much about them. As he chewed, Gordon watched the peace settling over Virgil's face. It gave him his own sense of serenity, interrupted as he leaned forward and pulled the entire bar from his brother's hand. It was enveloped with a wonky smile a moment later.

Virgil started as the bar was snatched from his hand. A glance at his brother and the wonky, raccoon smirk on his face was, quite frankly, hilarious. 

But Virgil couldn’t let that success show because older brother and these things shouldn’t be encouraged…but he snorted before he could control himself and there was no doubt his amusement was plain to see.

“You know, choking is a thing.”

"You're CP-ah cer'ifie-," he mumbled around the bar, awkwardly adjusting it in his mouth as he tried to chew.

“Idiot.” He mock-glared at his brother. “I have no wish to exercise those skills on you.”

He turned away and looked up at the palm fronds far above them fluttering gently against the blue sky.

“You ever realise how lucky we are?”

"Everyday," though, Gordon had plenty of experience in near misses that could've easily been the end. Glancing down to see the straps and plaster currently punctuating their last mission, a sad smile found its way over his sun kissed face, "Most days, anyway. Some, it's a bit more difficult."

Virgil glanced at him and grunted. “Yeah, I know that feeling.” A sigh. “But I was referring to living here on this island paradise away from all the noise. The chance to have moments like these.” Another pause. “To be together.”

Considering they used to live in a landlocked state with only the local pool and the school's athletic center - Yes, he knew the island was a daily wonder he couldn't get enough of.

But that wasn't what his emotional brother was getting at. Virgil had watched him fall and gone headfirst in after him. After the first collision with the solid wall that had shattered his arm, Gordon had zoned out. His brother had been forced to watch as he hit again before he could get a grasp and slam them both into the side of the crevice. 

Lucky was one word for it, "Yeah, can't think of anywhere else I'd want to be right now."

Virgil took another sip of his drink. “Yeah, damned lucky.” Putting his down, he offered Gordon his drink. “Ever wonder about paths not taken?”

The straw did its best to avoid being snagged, but eventually he caught it, taking a long sip as he listened. When the blonde was done, he offered another confused expression, "Like - 'what if' kind of stuff?" 

“Yeah. What would you be doing if we weren’t here?”

Gordon couldn't say that question had never crossed his mind, usually saved for really bad days or ones that involved sleep deprived thoughts. What would he be doing if they weren't iR living on their own island? "So - um, a couple months before I accepted the position on the hydrofoil project -" probably not his best line of thought right now, but it was the only example coming to mind. "Mel asked me to join her team - studying the ridge." He didn't elaborate further, giving words to his past and the what if - what if he'd accepted? What if he had avoided months of reconstruction and therapy? It was a path he tried not to dwell on too often.

Virgil stared at his brother. “I didn’t know.” The thought of Gordon working quietly a few hundred kilometres away instead of chained to that bed…he swallowed. It had been a very dark time. A time that had not only been horrifying for his little brother, but had tested Virgil beyond what he thought he was capable of. It had been bad. But it was in the past. They were in one piece. Well, mostly.

“So she tried to head hunt you?” Push above the bad memories, love his brother in the moment. Sometimes they were the most precious.  “And I guess Sam had nothing to do with that either?” It was sarcastic. Sam and Gordon combined were terror on the high seas. 

But at least his brother was able to visit Raoul and help out when he could. And he had superior equipment which had Mel drooling. And if Gordon thought Virgil was unaware of the ‘donations’ to the Kermadec effort on his brother’s part, he was sorely mistaken. The Aotearoa Department of Conservation did not provide boats like the one Raoul currently supported. There may have been swearing on his little brother’s part at one point regarding the need for the team to rely on transport from the mainland to get off the Island at any time. Considering the Island was a volatile volcano that had killed people in the past, his opinion on the matter was quite violent.

Mel received a new boat shortly after that incident.

“Let’s face it, she recruited you anyway.” Virgil smiled just a little. It was amazing to see his brother excited about his marine science.

Gordon laughed at the truth in that statement, even if it wasn't a full time position. There was excitement in using skills not as detrimental in an earthquake or in the middle of a wildfire. Science and exploration were his past time when the world wasn't stuck in a crisis.

The laugh turned into memory-fueled giggles before Gordon cleared his throat, "What about you? What would you be doing?"

Virgil blinked. “To be honest, I have no idea.” It was one of the reasons why he had asked the question. It was something that he had pondered many times. Sure, he could have been a fireman, a mechanic, an artist or even a musician, but…”Something just seems right about what I’m doing now, you know? As if…this is what I was made for?” He scoffed at himself. “Sounds stupid.”

Gordon shook his head, "Not stupid at all big guy." He sniffed as the itch from earlier tried to resurface. There were more important things to focus on, "So, yeah, I could've avoided - y'know - by living on a volcano, studying the effects of currents, local fishies and all that, but -" he paused for emphasis to ensure his brother was listening. "But then, all those people I've saved - what's a few months of healing if they get to live?" He smiled at the thought, "No regrets. This is what we're supposed to do - just gotta work on the not falling part."

“Yeah, please do.” Another sigh. “And I get it. Agree, even.” A smile. “But if you want to work on the volcano, I reserve the right to yank your ass off it the moment it starts rumbling. That pile of ash is a nasty one.” But the smile became a grin. “Though considering how often Scott visits Raoul nowadays, Thunderbird One may have a permanent berth there.”

He brightened with the idea, "I could leave Four there too! You just pick me up when you need me!" 

Virgil stared at his brother. “That isn’t quite what I meant.” The sudden concept of having not only one brother out of immediate reach, but two, set his heart rate up, no matter how irrationally.

Okay, so he was all good - his brothers could do what they wanted and he would support them through everything - on the surface, but underneath…in his hearts of hearts, he loved his family close where he could keep them safe.

Stupid, but that was how he felt.

But then…

“Great, you could share the compound with Scott and have a front row seat on what he and Mel get up to when they’re together.” He smirked.

The hairs on his neck stood on end as a chill ran up his spine, "Ugh, okay, maybe not." 

Virgil chuckled, feeling no shame at surreptitiously vetoing the idea. Grabbing his brother’s drink, he offered it to him again. “You’re sure?”

"Yeah, pretty sure," Gordon sighed, thinking about his own projects around the island. The occasional trips to hang out with his friends would give him enough excitement.  

Virgil wiggled the drink in front of his brother. Gordon was obviously occupied with thoughts of what was and what could have been.

“Have you shown Penny some of your projects?”

Another long sip and Gordon nodded, watching the straw wobble in the cup with his head. He sat back and smiled, "Oh yeah - though I might've gone overboard," literally. "We spent about half the day on the reef. It was amazing until we realized the sunscreen wasn't as effective as she needed it to be. Thankfully not lobster red, but still. I thought Parker was gonna throttle me." He chuckled at the memory.

An arched eyebrow. “You got Lady P sunburnt?” He put the glass down on the table. “You’re lucky you’re still alive.” A twitch of his lips. “So what were her favorites?”

"Surprisingly, the reef, even after the, uh, incident," now that he thought about it, that was the one Penny had been most vocal about, asking questions of practical applications of his artificial structures. "Hey, what do you think about helping me design some new coral homes?" 

“Sure. Homes for what?"

Gordon turned a curious eye towards his brother, wondering if he should tell Virgil it might actually be time to go inside. A little longer, maybe. He'd just keep a closer eye, "I wanna extend the coral. Maybe something lightweight that's easy to transport and assemble."

Virgil’s brow furrowed. “You want something for the coral to grow on?” He pondered it a moment. “We could synthesize some of that growth polymer used under the Supreme Barrier Reef. I’m pretty sure we have enough of the raw materials. I could pick up extra on our next supply run. Shouldn’t take too long to program the synthesizers.” He built it in his head, pulling up chemical formulae and visualizing the most efficient way to transport and shapes required. “Do different species have different requirements? Do you have a core species in mind?” Brains had ordered extra carbon fiber, hadn’t he? Must check. 

At least visualizing was distracting him from his headache.

"Knew you'd help," the engineer could be thrown into a number of projects and come out with something perfect. "Let's go porous and thin. The more surface area, the more it can support. I've already got a bunch of zoanthids and anemones spreading through one area. We could always try transplanting some hard coral with them."

“You sound like you’re gardening.” Virgil smirked. “I guess Grandpa Tracy’s genes ran true through you.” The smirk became a grin.

“Will do, though. Sounds like fun. How long do you think they will take to prove some success?” Reefs were slow growing, but Virgil hoped they could gain some indicator of whether what they were doing was fruitful or not. The sooner they knew the sooner they could adapt or fix any problems.

It was an interesting thing, seeing a brother get excited about matters of the ocean and Gordon was too willing to let up, "Growth will depend on the environment we install them in. Our coral's been protected against most dramatic shifts in acidity and temperature, so - best case scenario - we'll see total coverage in approximately twenty or thirty years, give or take." Yep, couple of old dudes getting to celebrate throwing constructed materials into the ocean. The coral would do most of the work, fortunately. "The main issue's always been getting governmental approval to install them. Think Tracy Industries could help with that once we have a prototype?"

“I think that if you can get Scott and John on the case, the world order may be altered forever.” Virgil smiled softly. Gordon was ever so excited when he spoke about his marine projects. Exactly the reason why Virgil had encouraged it. He loved to see the Fish’s eyes sparkle with eagerness and if he was honest, he would do anything to keep his little bro happy like this. “I’ll talk to them.”

But the numbers, even for a layman like Virgil, of how long this would take only struck home how fragile what they took for granted was.

He could remember the construction equipment in the caldera when the Island was being modified for their operations and the thought of the damage that was likely done…and then the Hood’s ship a couple years ago. He sighed. If only they could have done that outside the caldera. It still wouldn’t have been great, but open ocean abounded out here. The communities living in the caldera, however…

There had been a screaming match between brothers after that. Gordon had a list of the damage, and the death, but due to the invasion of their blasted nemesis into their home, none of them had been particularly emotionally stable at the time. They had thought they were safe here.

But they weren’t.

Then Kayo’s revelations…he closed his eyes. It wasn’t a great moment in their family’s history.

But they were Tracys. Fences were mended, issues identified and methods of repair put in place. Mel had been furious, of course, but Gordon had talked her around and she had helped with local information on what had worked in the area in the past. Virgil guessed that they were finally ready to re-seed the reef now.

But thirty years? For one moment’s anger?

This was why Virgil felt emotional control was so important. One moment of release could do so much damage.

And they held so much power in their hands.

But…for their children, and their grandchildren…”Whatever you need, Gords, is yours.”

For the first time in quite a while, Gordon felt like his passion might have a chance of being more than just the babbling of a kid brother. Yes, he'd been given free reign of the ocean environment around the caldera, able to observe the regrowth and attempt to improve it. Rarely did his family have time to plunge feet first into one of his projects. 

Unsurprisingly, Virgil was the most likely to try, but as one of their priority pilots, he'd get called off on a rescue before anything really got going. So Gordon limited his requests. Being grounded with his co-pilot was making that fairly difficult.

"Thanks, Virg. I appreciate that - really," he blinked hard, suddenly aware of a rush in emotions. "Um, hey, y'know - since we're gonna be stuck together for a few days, wanna see if we can get the guys to pick us up some take-out?" Because the alternative was not at all appetizing.

Virgil stared at his brother for a moment. He hadn’t been aware of how deep this project had affected his brother. Hell, he hadn’t taken a huge amount of notice regarding the specifics recently either. He knew Gords was passionate about Tracy Island’s ecosystem, but time and priorities…as he watched his brother compose himself, Virgil made a note to pay more attention, perhaps help out more.

Gordon’s interests had always been left of the Tracy mainstream. Dad was ever so passionate about space and aeronautics, followed by Scott, John and, of course, Alan. It was like the interest had played leap frog through the Tracy brothers. Both Gordon and Virgil were good pilots and could speak the speak of the other three at will, but it was rare the other three could speak Gordon. Hell, they had enough trouble speaking Virgil, come to think of it. 

Of course, all knowledge and skill was valued in their family, but Virgil had to admit that Gordon was the blackest of the sheep.

Virgil loved him for it.

But he acknowledged the change in conversation topic willingly.

He really must make more time for his little fish brother.

A mental curse that he hadn’t prioritized it more. Things slipped sometimes.

But, take-out. He thumbed his collar. “Tracy Island to Thunderbird Five. Got a moment, Eos?”

It took a second, but the AI replied. “Certainly, Uncle. What can I do for you?”

Virgil smiled, not looking at Gordon’s reaction to that statement. “Status of the rescue?”

“I’m not allowed to tell you.”

Blink. “What?”

“Mrs Tracy said that I was not to discuss missions with either Virgil Tracy or Goober Tracy as they are both injured and need rest.”

Uh-oh. “I would prefer you refer to Gordon by his correct name, Eos.”

“I will just as soon as he is nice to me.”

"E-sauce is just gonna have to realize that's not going to happen," Gordon teased back, well versed in the AI's banter. "Looks like we're in the dark on the bro-front."

Honestly, Gordon asked for this. Virgil sighed. “Eos, could you possibly ask Scott, once the rescue is complete, if he could acquire some takeout on the way home?” Sounded petty considering what his brothers were doing right now, but his eldest brother would get the message and be aware of the consequences. John, no doubt, would love to stop by Manila and pick up his favorite. Not their first Philippines emergency and the Razons had a fantastic restaurant.

“Anything for you, Uncle.” 

Virgil rolled his eyes. That was so obviously a stab at Gordon, it was ridiculous. “Thank you, Eos.”

“You’re welcome. Thunderbird Five out.” The line went dead.

One day Virgil was going to wake up and find the planet destroyed, possibly on purpose. John was one hell of a lucky parent, but the teen years were going to be a nightmare.

The thought brought up an involuntary reminder of the dream that had brought him out here and he shuddered. Okay, no thinking in that direction for the moment.

The breeze ruffled his hair as if to agree.

He turned to Gordon. “You do realise teasing her is like poking a nuclear weapon with a stick?”

A shrug turned into a wince, "Eh, it's mutual respect. I'd honestly be worried if she started being nice to me." Gordon knew the AI would do anything and everything to keep John's family safe, himself included.

“I worry that you think people being nice to you is a worry.”

Virgil lay back a moment, his head choosing to remind him that it had an injury. He was really over this headache.

Of course, that was the very moment his body decided it had a few necessary requirements after drinking all that water.

Damn.

The thought of getting up again suddenly seemed a lot harder than it should. After all, getting up for his little brother would never be a problem, but this was getting up to pee. Far from motivational.

As if his body sensed that thought, it made it very clear that motivation or not, if he didn’t eventually move the result was going to be unpleasant.

He sighed. “Back in a moment.” He didn’t look at his brother, all his concentration focused on not letting the world spin around him. He had been okay for the last half hour or so. What the hell?

But he needed to pee, so he carefully pushed himself to his feet. If he kept his head as still as possible…

He made his way carefully across the concrete decking, then something occurred to him. Might as well make the trip useful.

He turned back to his brother. “Hey, Gords, you want…?” But his head wasn’t happy with the movement and the world spun a little too fast to compensate and he stumbled.

Shit.

He fought for balance, but his foot tangled in something the world would not let him see and everything suddenly went sideways.

A yelp and that spinning world up and slapped him hard.

Time moved too quickly for Gordon, his body too slow to react as he watched Virgil fall. Watched all of his big brother land with a bone cracking momentum onto the edge of the pool. Watched his co-pilot slip over the side and into the crystal clear water.

Too many seconds wrapped up in that one moment and Gordon wanted to scream at himself to move faster, swinging his legs off the lounger with enough momentum to propel the rest of his body up, and then, he ran, calling out to anyone who could hear him for help. He was in the water in the next breath.

It wrapped around him, but instead of the cool welcome, it sent a dread through his chest. Bare feet hit the bottom and he spun, searching for the blur of red he knew was there waiting to be rescued. When he found him, Virgil didn't move, no jerking motions that said he was alert enough to get himself to the surface. 

Gordon pushed off the hard surface, aiming to catch his brother, quickly coming in contact with the waterlogged shirt. Kicking was all he had and he used it to wedge himself under Virgil's back, lifting him towards the surface and the oxygen that they both needed. Gordon would have to wait, though. As Virgil broke the surface, he was too heavy to get into a position that would allow the blonde's head to come up. 

Not a problem, someone's coming, Grandma would be there eventually. Maybe EOS was still listening. Either way, Gordon knew he had a few minutes - maybe - if he was lucky. Focus on keeping Virgil steady, don't panic.

Gordon didn't panic, not often anyway. He looked at a problem and demanded an alternative solution if the first one failed. With his oxygen gradually depleting, he had a choice to make. Go up for a breath and let Virgil sink for a moment, or stay put, run out of air and both of them sink. The answer was obvious, but that didn't mean it was easy. Sending his brother back under water for any extended period of time could be detrimental. 

Just a little longer, he could hold out - for Virgil - for a few more seconds.

Gordon heard the dull splash through the water just as spots began to dance across his vision. Another push and Virgil was suddenly off of him, the kicks sending the aquanaut through the disturbed surface. He drew in a choked gasp as water and air mixed, but he could breathe. Making his way to the edge, Gordon let himself lean back, floating as best he could.

The world was still muted around him as his ears lay under the surface, but he could hear the labored strokes as someone carried Virgil to safety. He couldn't turn to see who it was, too focused on not sinking, but it didn't take long for the splashing to stop after one last rumble, leaving Gordon in an all-encompassing quiet. 

Seconds? Minutes? He wasn't really paying that kind of attention, but movement and a sudden pressure under his shoulders and legs was impossible to miss. One smooth lift and Gordon was out, robotic arm turning to lay him next to the pool - next to a wheezing Virgil. His brother didn't make a move to indicate he was awake, but he was breathing. He was alive!

There were words and conversations happening around them, glimpses of purple, but all Gordon could focus on was the rise and fall of his brother's chest, wanting nothing more than to reach out and grab his brother's hand. He settled for the solid, sun warmed patio, a question from earlier making its way back into his head.

Ever wonder about paths not taken?

Yeah, he did.

They should've never left that damned infirmary.

…

“You should never have left the damned infirmary!” The words startled Virgil out of wherever it was he had been. They also slammed into his head like a freight train and he flinched from the pain.

“Scott, will you keep the volume down? Your brothers did none of this intentionally. If anyone is responsible, it is me. I knew they were out there and I let it be. They were safe, or so I thought. You know how Virgil and Gordon hate this room. The outdoors are good for healing. So if you want to yell at anyone, yell at me.”

Virgil drifted a moment, his grandmother’s voice ever so reassuring. Grandma was here. Scott was here. He was safe.

Despite the pain.

Despite the pain.

It all fell away.

He surfaced again sometime later as someone had their fingers in his hair. Reassurance itself.

“He’s going to be okay, Gordon. You saved him.” Scott’s voice was so much gentler than it was before. “Thank you.”

The fingers in his hair brushed everything away.

It was a cough that woke him finally. One that rose out of his chest and rattled his brain and body. It became immediately apparent that not only was his head injured but something was very, very wrong with his right arm.

Shit.

“Hey, Virg, settle down. You with me?” Scott’s voice was a balm on his soul. Fingers brushed his left shoulder and Virgil forced his eyes open only to screw them shut as the world spun drunkenly.

“You have a bad concussion. You compounded the one you already had.”

Ergh. “What happened?”

“You fell, hit your head, and ended up in the pool.”

“What?”

His brother sighed. “What do you remember?”

He forced his mush of a brain to focus.

Gordon was falling…

“Gordon!” He tried to sit up, but a blue and brown blur held him down.

“Shhh, Gordon is safe. And he’s finally asleep. Shhh.” The blur gestured and Virgil desperately tried to focus. In the shadows on the far side of the room, a curled up and strapped little brother lay on a bed, the rails up to prevent him falling off.

Virgil wanted nothing more than to go over there and check on him.

“You even think of getting out of that bed, I’m putting you in restraints.”

The vehemence in his big brother’s voice had Virgil turning his head far too fast to look at him and regretting it. A groan and he closed his eyes again.

“See that? That’s what got you into this predicament in the first place. You and Gordon were injured on your last mission. You pulled Gordon out of a crevice - do you remember that?”

Virgil let the world still and attempted to open his eyes again. The blue eyes staring down at him were set back in dark smudges and pale skin. “Scott, you okay?”

The exasperated scoff that issued through his brother’s teeth was almost violent. “No, I’m not. I had two brothers injured. You had a head injury and should have stayed in bed. I get a call from Eos in the middle of a mission, telling me my eldest brother tripped over, knocked himself unconscious and nearly drowned in the pool. If it wasn’t for Gordon, who currently doesn’t have the use of his arms, you would have drowned. So, no, Virgil, I’m not okay. I would have thought that with you here with Gordon, that neither of you would do anything stupid. Apparently, I was wrong.”

Virgil stared up at Scott. His big brother looked wrecked. “Have you slept since the Philippines?”

“Goddamnit, of course I haven’t.”

On the other side of the room, Gordon groaned and shifted as much as he could before settling.

Scott rubbed a hand over his face and all the breath left his body, his shoulders slumping as he leant against Virgil’s bed.

Virgil reached out his left hand and discovered an IV stuck in the back of it. Ignoring it, he reached for Scott’s hand and caught it.

“How did I end up in the pool?”

Blue eyes latched onto him and fingers tightened around his. “Security footage has you following Gordon out to sit by the pool. Looks like you were just talking, but at some point you got up to go inside. Halfway to the kitchen you turned around and lost your balance. Your foot caught in one of the loungers and you went down like a ton of bricks. Landed on your arm, hit your head and rolled into the pool.” The hitch in Scott’s voice told Virgil that Scott had not enjoyed watching that piece of video at all. “Gordon dove in after you.”

Gordon.

It all came back to Gordon.

Patchy images of his little brother out by the pool, a glass of water and a straw, a celery crunch bar…because Gordon couldn’t use his arms. Because Gordon had a broken collarbone and a broken arm. How had he pulled him from the pool? “He could have drowned.”

Scott’s lips thinned further. “I would agree, however, having said the same thing not an hour ago and been laughed at as a result, I’m not repeating that mistake.”

The memories were missing, but Virgil was fully capable of visualizing what happened. He and Gordon had been in the infirmary. They weren’t supposed to leave the infirmary - Grandma’s voice was firm in his head.

Yet, they had, and Virgil had endangered not only his own life, but Gordon’s and judging by the plaster cast on his right arm, stretched his recovery period far beyond a mere concussion and therefore International Rescue was down another operative for an extended period of time.

He closed his eyes in pain not caused by his injuries.

“Virg?”

He didn’t answer.

“You still with me?”

He let go of Scott’s hand and dropped his left arm across his eyes.

“Virg?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was an accident.”

“That was preventable.”

His brother didn’t answer and Virgil’s heart sank even further. Fair enough.

“Is Gordon okay?”

“Yes, he certainly yelled at me enough to prove it.”

Damn.

“‘S not his fault.”

“I could disagree.”

He lifted his arm up and glared at his brother. “Scott, no. The kid hates the infirmary. We need to get him out of here as soon as possible and you know why. What did you expect?” What had Virgil expected? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He let the arm drop back over his eyes. God, his head ached.

Scott sighed. “You need rest.”

“No kidding.”

Damnit.

Fingers brushed his shoulder again. “I’m here if you need anything.”

Virgil grunted and let all the breath out of his body in a slow exhale.

On the other side of the infirmary, Gordon groaned and shifted again.

Virgil grit his teeth. “Go to bed, Scott.”

“Virg-“

“Just go, please.”

Silence. “Okay.” The sound of Scott’s shoes on the linoleum, pausing over by their little brother and then slipping out the door.

All that was left in the room was the sound of Gordon’s restless sleep.

Virgil screwed up his face and moisture gathered in the corner of his eyes.

...

Gordon's dreams were closer to the waking world than the deeper sleep he knew he needed, which meant Scott's words didn't quite match the scenery around him. They were meant for someone else that he couldn't see, Gordon trying his best to keep up with his big brother as they climbed. When Scott stopped to turn a disappointed glare at him, he slipped, falling through thick air to startle awake before he could hit what wasn't really there.

Pulling in a deep breath that cleared much of the lingering dream, amber eyes swept over the infirmary, a curse slipping through his lips in exhaustion. His gaze stopped as it landed on Virgil, heart aching with the guilt that accompanied the discovery that his brother was awake.

"H-hey, Virg," was all he could get out before the emotions closed his throat.

Virgil startled, not expecting Gordon to be awake. He pushed aside his own reaction. “Gordon! You okay?”

No, not even a little, but Virgil didn't need to know that - didn't need to know that all he could see when he looked at his brother was the man crashing into the pool. It was all Gordon's fault. He just couldn't spend a few days in the infirmary - no, he had to play worrisome little brother and get Virgil - cause Virgil more pain. 

The blonde's lips thinned as he tried to recompose himself for his brother's sake. A forced smile that didn't meet his eyes, "Yeah, Virg. I'm fine. I'm -" he faltered as true emotion slipped free. "I'm really sorry."

He heard it all in his brother’s voice. Why had they placed him so far away?

Virgil clenched his jaw and pushed himself into a sitting position on the bed to give himself a better view of his little brother.

The extent of Virgil’s new injuries was made immediately apparent as the world spun and his broken arm screamed at him. Clenching his eyes shut again and holding his head with his working hand, he breathed through it.

As soon as the world steadied, his eyes sought his little brother. He was so far away. There would be no getting out of bed for Virgil this time. He wasn’t stupid. But all he wanted to do was get over there and reassure that expression off his little brother’s face.

“Not your fault.” 

Damnit, Virg, he didn't hesitate, mimicking his brother until said brother realized he wasn't going to get much farther. Gordon was no better and no worse than he'd been at the start of all this and he was padding his way over to Virgil before the medic could reconsider. 

"Lay back, Virgil," he ignored the attempt to alleviate the guilt permeating his gut. He didn't have a great range of motion, but the one hand he could use found his brother's, holding it loosely against his stomach, "You took some pretty hard hits today."

Virgil stared up at Gordon. Now he was closer, Virgil could relax just enough to do as his brother asked. But his eyes never left him.

“You should be in bed.” But his fingers curled around Gordon’s. “At least sit down.” He closed his eyes again. “Diff’rent bed. Closer.”

The blonde stood there for a moment longer, not wanting to break contact, but also not wanting to cause any more stress. A nod and he let go, turning to find one of the other infirmary beds that would serve his purpose. 

Every so often, Gordon would look at this room - the number of beds - and wonder when the day would come that all of them would be stuck in one. It was never Gordon's choice when the thought invaded his mind, but usually he could push it away. Today, it was taking its time to leave.

Carefully, Gordon crawled into the bed next to Virgil's, "You need anything?"

“Just stay.” Virgil couldn’t look away. His head was a mess of guilt, nightmare fragments, worry and memories. “Just stay.”

Safe.

The expression hurt. Gordon knew it well enough after too many rescues that hadn't ended well. His soft hearted brother wore the failure like it was all his own, the weight tearing at his soul. They all had their fair share of lost lives, but Virgil's tended to radiate out until someone had to intervene - set the medic back on his path until a new life was saved and hope restored. 

"I'm not going anywhere," Gordon tried to smile as he regarded his brother. "How are you feeling?"

He blinked and continued to stare. “Been better.” A swallow as he drew himself together. “‘S not your fault.”

To Gordon's surprise, anger flared in his chest, forcing him to bite down on his lip to calm the desire to scream. That wasn't what was needed here. 

Yet - the fire wasn't smothered. If anything, it waited, encouraging him until Gordon couldn't help opening his mouth and letting his heart spill out, "Of course it was... I chose to leave. I left you without so much as a word of where I was going. I could've asked Grandma for permission, left you here in peace knowing Grandma was watching over me. How is any of this not my fault?"

“Make m’own decisions.”

"Yeah - and those decisions were based on what your idiot of a brother decided to do," Gordon wanted to stop before things spun out of control, well aware of his brother's head injuries, but Virgil kept looking at him like everything was okay now. "Virgil… if it'd just been you in here, we both know you would've stayed. Hell, you'd probably be getting the all clear by morning. I just - I'm -" Moisture crept over his vision, Gordon taking a breath to try and quell the emotions. 

“C’mere.” It was soft, possibly slurred, but everything Virgil wanted in that moment.

Gordon slid off the bed without argument, his heart in need of more than just reassuring words. He took the few steps needed to reach his brother and turned, perching himself on the edge and wishing he could be closer.

Virgil reached out and grabbed his little brother with the one hand he had left and pulled Gordon over and onto the bed. With no arms to steady himself, his brother had no choice but to fall on top of Virgil. Wriggling, he manoeuvred Gordon under his arm and tucked him close as gently as possible.

“Was an accident. N’ther us wanted or meant anything to go wrong.” He drew in a breath. God, his head hurt. “Was my decision t’leave the infirm’ry. Not yours. Was my decision to t’get up. Not your fault.” Another breath. “Please, Gordy.”

Please.

Gordon pulled his legs up, twisting cautiously in his brother's hold to lay on his back, amber glistening as he listened to the plea. It was more than just a shift of guilt to help Gordon release some of his own. Virgil wanted his brother to be okay in much the same way he wanted the medic to be okay. The problem was, Virgil's wounds were physical and would heal on their own. It was going to take a lot more to manage the ones tearing at Gordon's heart. 

But, the dark brown that pinned him to the spot offered a lifeline and he took it, letting the tears finally fall. Just for right now, he would let Virgil shoulder some of blame if it meant his brother could feel better.

Unable to return the much needed hug, Gordon's head tilted into his brother's.

Virgil’s nose ended up in Gordon’s hair, a strawberry blond mess that never stopped smelling of chlorine. He inhaled the familiar scent with so much gratitude and love it was dizzying. His eyes closed and he tugged Gordon just that little bit closer.

He had no words left, but he had his little brother.

That would always be enough.

-o-o-o-

Gordon, watch your language.

Talkin’ to yourself, bro.

Solitude also tended to promote conversations with himself.

“John, which airlock will you be using?”

But then, was he truly alone?

“The rear ‘lock, Eos. The suit needs some repairs and a good clean.”

“Should I alert Virgil?”

“No, I can manage.” But that would be an excuse to see his big brother. Virgil wasn’t a fan of space, but he would drop by at any hint of John needing help.

A glance in the direction of Tracy Island, in midnight darkness just like the whole half a planet beneath him.

John sighed as he slowed, firing reverse thrusters to kill off his velocity, to a smooth pacing of Five. Splattering himself across her solar panels would certainly be an undesirable end to an already shitty day.

Eos had the airlock open and waiting, enabling John to slip in quietly. Five crept around him with her protection. Being out in space was a raw experience. Beautiful, but raw. His ‘bird provided a sense of security with cahelium between him and the harsh environment.

The airlock sealed and the air pressure welled up, familiar in its reassuring caress. The inner door slipped open and he pushed off gently into the module he had left in such a hurry several hours earlier.

He ran through the disassembly routine for his exosuit, robotic arms pulling it gently from his body. For some reason he found himself leaning into that metallic touch.

Damn, maybe he had been away from Tracy Island for too long.

He would have to schedule some leave.

But he had that experiment running…and Auckland University were waiting for his write up on his comet. He could do the writing on Tracy Island - would his brothers give him the space?

The pun was ignored.

His brothers tried. He knew they tried. They respected his wishes as much as they could. Didn’t understand them, but respected them. They knew social interaction took energy he felt better spent elsewhere. They knew that what worked for them didn’t necessarily work for him.

They tried.

Hard.

But he also knew they missed him.

And he loved them for it.

Returning to Earth added him to their lives in three dimensions and they often wanted to take advantage of that. Hell, he wanted to take advantage.

But there was transition time from space to Earth, and all the stuff he had up here, and…

God, he was tired.

The mechanics finished up, leaving him floating free in the centre of the module.

He let himself drift just a little.

“John?”

Eos didn’t ask if he was okay, but the question was there anyway.

He sighed. “Stash the exosuit, I’ll do the repairs tomorrow.”

“Yes, John.” How did she put so much emotional inflection into those two words?

He refused to sigh again, simply reaching out to touch the wall and nudge himself towards the airlock leading into the central hub of Five.

The room lit up as he entered, the familiar map of the planet below spreading out across the spherical walls. The rescue indicators were clear for once in his life and he was quite happy to pass by the map and head for the gravity ring, aiming for his bathroom and the chance to clean off the sweat under his uniform.

“Hey.”

The sudden appearance of a body blocking his path confused his exhausted brain and he was slow to connect the dots of green, blue and heavy lifting brother.

“Whoa, Johnny, take a breath.”

A hand steadied him where his reaction had sent him spinning just a little.

“Virgil? What? Eos, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Virgil asked me not to. You said I should listen to Virgil, so I did.”

John deflated, and sighed in exasperation. “Virgil, why? You scared the shit out of me.”

That earned him a raised eyebrow.

Okay, so plain, old boring swear words weren’t usually his thing, but he was tired.

That eyebrow twitched in his direction.

Oh.

“Just dropping in for a home visit. That last situation was a rough one.”

“I’m fine, Virgil.” He pushed past his brother. “Just need some sleep.”

“Uh-huh.”

John rolled his eyes as he pushed himself out into the ring, his feet lightly landing in the low gravity environment. He strode across cahelium reinforced glass. “If you’re going to order me back to Tracy Island, I rather you didn’t.”

Virgil was obviously following him, the soft squeak of his specialised boots on the glass a not unfamiliar sound. “Haven’t even thought about it. Just wanted to drop by and see how you were going.”

“At two in the morning.”

“I’m a night owl.” He could feel his brother’s smile bounce off the back of his head.

John grunted as he reached the doors to his rooms. He turned to his brother standing behind him. “I’m going to get cleaned up. Back shortly.”

“Scott says debrief in the morning, but I would like to check you over before bed.”

“Really?” It was whiney and childish, and he earned that extra eyebrow arch, but damnit, he was tired.

“Really.” And there was just that touch of steel in Virgil’s voice. Not quite the same as Scott’s commander tone, but just as final. “Don’t make me come in there after you.”

“Fine.” He threw open the door and wished he could slam it behind him with all the petulance he felt right now.

Virgil didn’t answer, nor did he follow him.

It only took a moment or two for the guilt to sink in and John was faced with the fact that Virgil was worried about him. He climbed up into orbit, into space which he didn’t enjoy, to check on his little brother, only to encounter …John.

He let his head drop against the glass of his bedroom wall. Because of the lower gravity, his forehead did not hit with any of the thump he needed it to.

A sigh. He would apologise, but first he needed to get clean.

-o-o-o-

It was a bit longer than he had expected when he finally emerged from his rooms, but he felt just a little bit more human for the clean and new spacesuit.

Time also helped. His head had been caught up in rescue gone bad. Those few extra minutes helped him step back and breathe.

Virgil wasn’t outside his door, which, considering he’d likely left him with the impression he might have to hogtie John to get the readings he needed, was a surprise.

“Eos, where is Virgil?”

“In the infirmary. John, do you like pineapple?”

He frowned, heading in the direction of the small room set aside for medical needs on the gravity ring. “Yes, why?”

“Even if it is on pizza?”

“Uh, no. Pineapple should never be put on pizza.” He frowned as he slipped into the infirmary. “Have you been talking to Gordon?”

“Yes, and he is most emphatic that pizza should include pineapple in its toppings.”

“Gordon has issues.”

Virgil snorted. “That he does.” His brother looked up as John entered. Apparently, he was doing a medical supply inventory.

He had removed his baldric and harness, and was standing in his overalls-styled uniform without his usual green. It wasn’t right.

As if sensing John’s affronted senses, Virgil frowned. “You okay?”

John shrugged and sat down quietly, and obediently, on the small bed. “You need the green.”

Virgil looked down at himself, wrinkling his nose. “I do feel kind of naked.”

“So why did you take it off?”

“Didn’t need it. Need the suit for safety, but didn’t want to clink every time I moved.” He pulled the medscanner out of it protective sleeve on the bulkhead.

John held up a hand. “Sorry about before. I-“

Virgil put a hand on his arm. “Nothing. Been there, it’s not fun. Understandable.” And that was the end of that.

Virgil gently pushed John’s arm down to his side and began waving the scanner over John’s body.

Ten seconds later he turned off the scanner. “You’re good. Could do with some food, drink and sleep, but everything else is fine. You don’t even have any bruises.” A gentle smile. “You’re good, John.”

“Thank you.” There was a double meaning there, good in health and a compliment on a good job done. “And thank you for coming all the way up here. I could have saved you the trip.” He did know how to use the medscanner, after all.

“There is more to your health than what that scanner can tell me.” Virgil eyed him as he put the device away. “Besides, I like to see my all my brothers from time to time.”

“The time, Virgil. You should be in bed.”

Then as if to throw John completely out of whatever universe he was currently in, Alan bounded through the door. “Virg, it’s working. All ready to go.” His littlest brother looked up. “Oh, hey, John.” And he darted out as fast as he had entered.

“What?” The word burst out of his mouth. “How-?” He glared at Virgil. “What’s going on?”

But Virgil just straightened and smiled. “J Protocol.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” Virgil strode past him and pushed open the door. “Come with.”

John found his mouth open and had to shut it. “Virgil-“

“Nope.” His brother waved an arm towards the door. “C’mon.”

Instinctively, John knew that if he didn’t move, Virgil would start on more drastic transport options. After all, John had seen his heavy lifting brother throw Scott over his shoulder in exasperation.

Virgil always got his way eventually.

John let his shoulders drop and walked through the door.

This time he felt like stomping instead of slamming, but the same emotion was behind both.

“Virgil, I’m fine.”

His brother nudged him forward as he shut the door behind them. “Good. Keep it that way.”

“But-“

A strong arm wrapped around his shoulders. “John, you need this.”

“I-“

But his brother herded him through the airlock into the central hub of Thunderbird Five.

The sphere was full of brothers.

And pizza boxes.

Scott was sitting cross-legged like some kind of suspended Buddha, poking at his phone. Gordon was upside down chattering non-stop to Alan who was the right way up - there was no ‘up’ in space, but there definitely was an ‘up’ on Thunderbird Five, despite the lack of gravity in her central hub - and conversing with an ease that spoke of extensive space experience.

An irrational sense of pride of his littlest brother swelled John’s heart.

All at once the three brothers realised John was in the room.

“Johnny! Welcome to the party!”

Alan flipped midair in an obvious over-the-top move to land right next to John. “Hey, John, way until you see what we’ve done.”

John frowned. “What have you done?” They better not have messed with his ‘bird.

But Scott had unfolded and was narrowing in on John with a frown. He didn’t say anything, just glanced a question at Virgil who gave him a nod.

His two eldest brothers were irritating when they did that, especially when the non-verbal conversation was obviously about him.

Scott reached out and gently clasped John’s arm. “Good job out there today.”

Yesterday, technically. “What are you all doing up here?”

“Pizza party!” Gordon’s eyes were glowing with glee.

“At 2.30 in the morning?”

Scott shrugged. “Sometimes pizza is just needed.” And there was something in his big brother’s eyes.

Goddamnit, he was fine.

But then Scott gently pulled him into a hug. It wasn’t tight, just a wrap of his arms around John, his head resting, just touching John’s shoulder.

The room was oddly silent.

And John found himself leaning into the hug. His brother’s caring touch etching into his skin, drawing him in deeper, feeding a need he hadn’t realised he had.

His head fell quietly onto Scott’s shoulder. The moment it touched, his brother’s grip tightened just a fraction before loosening again…so, so gentle.

Oh god.

But then Scott was equally as gently pulling away, blue eyes eyeing him as if unsure how he would react. Perhaps gauging his next move.

A big hand landed on his back and its partner wrapped around Scott’s shoulder. “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.” Virgil nudged himself between them, aiming for the huge pile of floating boxes.

The moment snapped and the world started moving again. Gordon and Alan joined Virgil with the boxes, happily discussing toppings…which ultimately led to the ongoing war between yes-pineapple and no-pineapple on pizza.

Gordon was never going to win that one, outvoted four to one, but he was a determined fish and kept up the battle at every chance.

It was a familiar sound of home.

Blue eyes were still staring at him. Saying so much unsaid.

“Hey, Johnny, me and Virg set up something cool for you.” Alan was bouncing as much as he could in a zero-g environment.

It forced John to look away from Scott. “What have you done?”

“Virgil said he wanted to set you free, but keep you safe, so we did this.” Alan poked at his wrist control.

And the hub walls disappeared.

What?

All his brothers, the stack of pizza, the random slice of pepperoni that chose that moment to drift through his eyeline - all of it, and them, was floating above the night side of Earth with nothing around them.

Thunderbird Five was gone.

His breath caught in his throat. “How?”

Virgil was smiling as he gazed at the view, pizza slice in hand. “A few more sensors on her hull, improved communication with the holoprojectors, and a little bit of programming by Alan, and you have your own space-themed holodeck.”

He stared at the lights of Auckland and Sydney. “You built me a holodeck?”

“Isn’t it cool?!” Alan was definitely bouncing.

John nodded. “Yeah, it’s cool.”

“This is the default view. It draws directly from Five’s exterior sensors. What you see here is what you’d see if we were outside. But I did add a few of my favourites for you and tweaked the input from your telescopes.”

Alan poked at his wrist control and Earth vanished.

It was replaced with a view of the Andromeda Galaxy. They were staring down at a sea of swirling stars surrounded by the deepest darkness.

“It’s not interactive, though. The processing power required for this resolution is huge and Five does have a much larger program it needs to keep safe.” He looked up for a moment, but when there was no response, Alan warily turned his attention back to John. “If you want to add more views, we’ll need to up Five’s storage. We should probably do that anyway. Never hurts to have more storage.”

“Says the video game addict.” Gordon snorted.

“Hey, your holos of fish take up more room than my games.”

“Are you kidding? Zombie death 16 pushed me onto external storage.”

“That was an accident.”

“How?”

“I may have put it on the house servers twice.”

“What? Did you delete it?”

“Of course I did.”

“Guys?” Virgil’s voice was ever so tolerant.

Gordon and Alan glanced at John. “Sorry.” It was a chorus of the both of them.

No, this was fine. It really was.

Andromeda glowed beneath them.

His family was…being his family.

And there was pizza.

He let himself float and closed his eyes.

The smell of toasted cheese and tomato sauce, peppers, that unique pizza smell.

His brothers talking quietly - Gordon and Alan still at it, but desperately trying to be quiet about it. John would look at digital storage options both for Tracy Island and Thunderbird Five tomorrow.

At the moment…

A soft touch to his shoulder and Virgil was offering him a slice of cheeseburger pizza, his favourite.

Scott had gone back to being aTracy Industries Buddha…until Virgil coasted past, snatched his phone out of his hand, and smoothly replaced it with a slice of pepperoni and cheese.

Scott’s protest was muffled by Virgil’s glare.

John bit into his pizza slice surrounded by his family and an amazing projection of his second favourite galaxy.

Yes, he liked to be alone.

But he also loved his family.

And they loved him enough to follow him.