#nswords

‘The problem is, I will always put you before me, and that should not be how it goes, and yet, I still find myself planning out my days just so I could catch you on the other side even if it just for awhile. No, I should not let that be a priority, maybe it’s really time for me to put myself first. Never be vulnerable again, rebuild that wall and strengthen that armour, flip my switch. That’s my problem, I became soft, I never learn. It’s time.’

In the midst of where the world was caving down around us. You brought fresh flowers and made everything around me blossom. You keep me warm in the cold and you make sure the air around me was breathable. For that I’m thankful

Miss your unruly hair and chocolate covered eyes. Forever longing for the moment when I get to grip you between my fingers and taste you between my lips again. Distance can dilute substances of all kind, but you keep reminding me what it feels for your rays will keep me warm. Enough spending sunsets alone. ‘Nothing gold can stay.’ That was what I whispered to myself after every golden hour with you. I don’t want to spend another sunrise without you, I want to lie awake, in my bed in a tropical paradise and not feel a sense of deprivation in my veins. I may be a caffeine addict, but those brown eyes and that sleepy unruly lion’s mane is the only morning coffee I need.

The dusk likes to haunt me. He made friends with the voice in my head. They exchange secrets and all I can do is eavesdrop. They like to talk about me, I can't defend myself or do a single thing about it. All I can do is listen and digest. It's been 5 years, since they started their late night banters, and a girl can only listen and brush it off her shoulders for so long, until she starts to believe in all the words she's been told.

I would like to put what I feel into writing, but this is where I feel like no words can remotely describe how my heart lights up when thought of you verges upon my head.

Let me tell you why writers like to write during the dead of night. Because we know, after we disclose our deepest intimate feelings through pen and paper while we lie awake, It will never ever get dressed and walk out when we’re in the most fragile state.

Last night was truly a blur, but you, love, you were so clear in my mind.